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Fifty Shades Of Grey!


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For anybody that has read the GREY books here's a poem that will make you smile.

 

Me missus bought a paperback

Down town on Saturday,

I had a peep into her bag;

'Twas “Fifty Shades of Grey."

 

Well I just left her to it,

And at ten I went to bed.

An hour later she appeared;

The sight filled me with dread.

 

Her left hand held a length of rope;

And in her right a whip!

She threw them down onto the floor,

And then began to strip.

 

Well fifty years or so ago

I might have had a peek;

But Doris hasn’t weathered well;

She’s eighty four next week.

 

Watching Doris bump and grind

Could not have been much grimmer.

Things then went from bad to worse;

She toppled off her Zimmer!

 

She struggled up upon her feet

A cuppla minutes later;

She put her teeth back in and said

That I must dominate her!!

 

Now if you knew our Doris,

You would see just why I spluttered,

I’d spent two months in traction

For the last complaint I’d uttered.

 

She stood there nude, just naked like,

Bent forward just a bit ….

I took a pace to brace meself

And stood on her left t*t!

 

Old Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;

My god what had I done?

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

“Step on the other one!”

 

Well readers, I won't tell no more

What happened on that day.

Suffice to say my jet black hair

Turned “fifty shades of grey”

 

:madgrin:

 

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:lol:

R.I.P my beautiful grey ghost, gone but never forgotten, taken so suddenly, 04/07/2004 ~ ~ 02/03/2017

Gone but never forgotten,Little Miss Sunshine, Alisha Marie. 15/12/2005 ~ ~ 13/02/2006

Our  beloved Dalmatian Jazz,  gone to join Wal at Rainbow Bridge, hope you are now pain free .  20/9/2005 ~ ~ 24/3/2019

 

 

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Hilarious Tills. . . . just spit tea over the keyboard!!!! :lol:

Keep up the fight against Bank Charges.

 

 

Got Debt problems?

Don't panic, put the kettle on and read this

 

:-) Everything I write comes from my heart and head! The large filling cabinet that is my knowledge of life, however warped that may be!! :-)

 

<<< Please tickle my star!! if I have managed to help you or just made you chuckle!

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Filth !!! :p

Any advice I give is honest and in good faith.:)

If in doubt, you should seek the opinion of a Qualified Professional.

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Help keep it up and active, helping people like you.

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RIP: Rooster-UK - MARTIN3030 - cerberusalert

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ah but you read it:p

 

No, my mum said it was good, she was in the book shop and asked some guy where she could find it, how should I know he shouted, I don't work here !!!

 

Red coupon or what :)

Any advice I give is honest and in good faith.:)

If in doubt, you should seek the opinion of a Qualified Professional.

If you can, please donate to this site.

Help keep it up and active, helping people like you.

If you no longer require help, please do what you can to help others

RIP: Rooster-UK - MARTIN3030 - cerberusalert

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i didn't mean the book you donut lol

 

Aw ! the poem, yes it's good :)

Any advice I give is honest and in good faith.:)

If in doubt, you should seek the opinion of a Qualified Professional.

If you can, please donate to this site.

Help keep it up and active, helping people like you.

If you no longer require help, please do what you can to help others

RIP: Rooster-UK - MARTIN3030 - cerberusalert

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Hilarious Tills. . . . just spit tea over the keyboard!!!! :lol:

 

 

Good job it wasn't voddy.:razz:

 

 

Brilliant Till's. But if you don't mind, I'll do the f****n funnies.:oops:

 

 

If all else fails, kick them where it hurts and SOD'EM;)

 

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