jsa being used to gamble

[fraujaeger]

Hi

I have a very upset friend who has been looking after her 20 year old son for over a year now because he refuses to find work and has been claiming jsa.

He was giving his mother £70 a fortnight towards food and household bills because she is a single parent working hard to put her other 16 year old son through college.

However for the last two months he has gambled all his allowance as soon as it has hit his account so my friend has had to feed him for nothing.

Is there any way my friend can have his allowance paid directly to her or at least part of it

[BRIGADIER2JCS]

No I don't believe there is, he is an ''adult'' and can use his money how he wishes, perhaps a firm hand is needed and some drastic sanctions ie move out no money for keep no food!! Hard yes but a couple of days with an empty belly may help!!

( father of 3)!!

[fraujaeger]

I agree with you and have tried to advise her several times because he is being so disrepectful but she says she canot see her own son on the streets because of his gambling problem.

He will not discuss his problem with anyone and if he was thrown out he would "bum" off his friends and my friend does not want that to happen.

There does not seem to be a solution at present.

[BRIGADIER2JCS]

Is this fruit machines we went through this with our eldest son many years ago, 3 weeks pn porridge made with water changed his outlook:madgrin:

[fraujaeger]

He is gambling on the horses and I have suggested several things to my friend all of which she is not prepared to do which is why I was asking if she could be part paid his jsa

I feel exactly the same as you and would have applied the same tactics.

[fraujaeger]

Also he is at home all day and would help himself to food which my friend needs in to feed her other son and herself

[BRIGADIER2JCS]

Also he is at home all day and would help himself to food which my friend needs in to feed her other son and herself

 

Tragic, but time to be cruel to be kind at 20 the next thing may be stealing to feed the gambling and or borrowing from loan sharks who suggest a favour in dealing/delivering drugs a viscious circle I have seen far too many times professionally.

 

print this out show her if you wish.

[id6052]

has she tried taking his bank card off him

[BRIGADIER2JCS]

The guy is 20!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[Nystagmite]

Unless the card is cancelled, he'll still be able to use it online.

[BRIGADIER2JCS]

He is an ''adult'' he has '' human rights'' what can a mother do!!!!!!!!!!!

[id6052]

Unless the card is cancelled, he'll still be able to use it online.

 

i was thinking mother could draw out the money before he gets chance to gamble it

[BRIGADIER2JCS]

That I think would be theft this is a 20 year old adult!!

[Nystagmite]

Exactly! He's an adult and it's up to him what he spends his money on.

[fraujaeger]

he also must learn to act like an adult and pay his way

Difficult situation

[BRIGADIER2JCS]

But he should not be making his mother and younger brother suffer for his addiction!!!

[BRIGADIER2JCS]

he also must learn to act like an adult and pay his way

Difficult situation

 

Agreed SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT!!!

[fraujaeger]

I agree with you but he has no respect for anyone let alone himself and sits all day watching tv until he gets his allowance and then gambles every single penny in a few minutes

His mother is at the end of her tether with him but does not want to throw him out and see him on the streets

He was paid his allowance today and my friend needed his money to pay for a weekly ticket for her other son; now he cannot attend college this week until my friend is paid her salary which is not until next week

[BRIGADIER2JCS]

On line gambling???

[assisted blonde]

If he has an addiction of any sort then until he wants to stop nothing will make him, your friend has to accept this and deal with it however she can, I beleive there are charities that help the families of fambling addicts but as far as the money is concerned there is nothing she can do if he wont give it to her, if she continues to feed and house him then it will be at her expense for now.

[estellyn]

The only way is to get the son to agree to the money being paid into her bank (he would need to sign a form), and they she takes the board money and gives him the rest. If he wants to live at home, then he agrees to the arrangement.

Edited September 18, 2012 by estellyn

[count orlok]

You can get benefits paid into any account (does not need to be in the name of the payee) provided the the payee and the owner of the account give permision. My wife had her pension and benefits paid into the post office, but changed to having them paid into my account when I thought I would lose my IB, effectivly giving me control of her benefits. Later i added her name to the account to allow her access as well.

[fraujaeger]

I have suggested to my friend that she has his benefits paid into her account

I can only offer her suggestions and opinions and it is up to her to take control of the situation

Hopefully she will take some kind of action as suggested here

thank you all for your comments

[BRIGADIER2JCS]

From what has been said so far the son seems unlikely to cooperate.

[count orlok]

From what has been said so far the son seems unlikely to cooperate.

 

He would have to be told that this is the only option if he wan't to carry on living with his mom and brother. i don't know how your friends son would react, but I (and my children/grandchildren) have allway been brought up to respect what my mother says/asks.