home repossession and effects on health

[richarddawkins]

What sort of music do you like Richard ?

 

Well i listen to classical music and rock. I know they are exact opposites of each other but hey that's me. The other day i listened to jay z song "no church in the wild" , i know it's not rock but the beat is kind of haunting. do you enjoy music too, what do you usually listen to?

 

best regards

[Rohannah]

Aha, I'm eclectic in taste eg: Wagner I love,most of TRex ,some operatic arias (they make me cry in a good way) Song to the Moon from Rusalke always reduces me to tears,Flamenco, Brass Band music including Mexican,Pipe Bands, all ballet music Native American music and not forgetting the rock anthems Blaze of Glory,Up Around the Bend,the opening chords do something to me I'm not sure what.....the list is long.I'm not sure what this says about me

[Lillibelle]

I got a DCA letter today,,,and do you know what I did? I didn't break down in floods of tears,,nor did I have a meltdown,,,I opened it,,glanced at the drivel,then tore it into shreds and filed it in the 'to be burned' box in the shed They will soon get bored of sending me bonfire fodder

[Rohannah]

I got a DCA letter today,,,and do you know what I did? I didn't break down in floods of tears,,nor did I have a meltdown,,,I opened it,,glanced at the drivel,then tore it into shreds and filed it in the 'to be burned' box in the shed They will soon get bored of sending me bonfire fodder

 

:jaw:OMG. aren't you supposed to keep and treasure these important communications.Well done you.(I never said that)

[Lillibelle]

:jaw:OMG. aren't you supposed to keep and treasure these important communications.Well done you.(I never said that)

yeah,,,,but as I'm a pyromaniac I cannot resist the urge to burn the things I have enough good reading books on my shelf,,don't need their 'apeman' twaddle occupying my house

[Rohannah]

You don't want some get help with your debt booklets then ?

[Lillibelle]

You don't want some get help with your debt booklets then ?

 

I'm sort of sorted,,the letter today is a debt my beloved exhusband is trying to saddle me with,,,I hope they send a baboon in a suit to my door,,cos I intend showing them all the paperwork apertaining to the debt,,,,,,about 99 pages worth x

[richarddawkins]

Aha, I'm eclectic in taste eg: Wagner I love,most of TRex ,some operatic arias (they make me cry in a good way) Song to the Moon from Rusalke always reduces me to tears,Flamenco, Brass Band music including Mexican,Pipe Bands, all ballet music Native American music and not forgetting the rock anthems Blaze of Glory,Up Around the Bend,the opening chords do something to me I'm not sure what.....the list is long.I'm not sure what this says about me

 

Your music taste is more varied than mine. I guess it says there are many facets to your personality.

[richarddawkins]

I'm sort of sorted,,the letter today is a debt my beloved exhusband is trying to saddle me with,,,I hope they send a baboon in a suit to my door,,cos I intend showing them all the paperwork apertaining to the debt,,,,,,about 99 pages worth x

 

Well i would definitely want this kind of confidence:-)

[Lillibelle]

Richard,,you WILL get it,,one day,,because each day you will get stronger,it's not an overnight strength,but the more the fools send demands for money you just don't have,the more idiotic their letters become,,it's a case of ,,pay your priority debts ,the ones that you need to survive (rent,ctax,food etc) then arrange the others in order of neccessity,formulate a plan of repayment,then sit back,,take a deep breath,and slowly decide how you are going to attack the the plan and suddenly it's not so scary..........keep your chin up,,you certainly are NOT alone

 

L

[Janie1962]

Lillibelle's spot-on, Richard! You're very fortunate that you have the breathing space of being under the DCA radar at the moment. Use this time to get all your ducks lined up, so you can shoot 'em down when they rear their heads! In other words, whilst you're not under pressure from them, you can take your time to sort out your priorities (just as Lillibelle says) and then the rest will follow. If you're not working, a tiny token amount should be offered to each creditor who should also be offered two choices - take it or leave it! Think of it as negotiating a sale; you start very low, the DCA will start very high. Eventually you'll come to a level that suits you and is acceptable to them. Never do it over the phone, ALWAYS leave a paper trail (and for that reason, I don't advise setting fire to any letters! Keep everything) that way there can be no misunderstandings.

 

Hope you had a better nights sleep last night and make sure you spend some time today doing something you enjoy! We're all rooting for you.

 

Best wishes

Janie

[Lillibelle]

Yeah,,don't burn mail,,keep everything,,,paper trails are evidence,,I just know that my darling ex has been caught for the debt and the DCA are pushing their luck trying to get me to pay them too..Have a good day

 

L.......

[Rohannah]

Well i would definitely want this kind of confidence:-)

 

It will come,you are getting a good dose of positivity of these two-it does rub off.

[richarddawkins]

Thank you Janie and Lillibelle and Rohannah.

 

With friends like you confidence will rub off i agree. I think it's so important to support each other as it helps you as well. When you talk to somebody you get some weight off your chest as well. It's nice to be in the company of battle hardened comrades. I iwll keep in mind Janie advice on negotiation with DCA's. I slept OK thank you. Actually i look forward to the day so i can get to chat with you guys and read what you have added on to the forum.

 

best regards

[Janie1962]

That's good, Richard! I look forward to reading this thread, too - it's good to keep up with friends. And it helps me as well - putting things down on (virtual) paper clears my head too, so it's all good

 

Hope everyone's well.

 

Janie

[Lillibelle]

Richard & Janie & Rohannah..........I always look for this thread too,,,,typing things out is positively cathartic...When thoughts are buzzing round and round in the brain they become distorted and scary..seeing them there thoughts in print makes it easier to make sense of them and takes the boogyman aspect away

Oh the nights I spent fretting and worrying about debt,,how was I going to survive,,I was all but homeless thanks to my ex,,had been living in very expensive private rented house which I was being evicted from,,I owed money from Lands End to John O Groats and all stations in between :(And had a 15 yr old depending solely on me cos his Dad is as much use as a chocolate teapot ! (and still is ) My entire empire was built on butter,,and that butter was melting ......fast

Today I live in a Housing Assc house,have a car,pets,a partner and a grownup young man who has turned out fab (I dragged him up well )......and I will tell you all about it in episodes........it's been a bumpy ole ride......are you sitting comfortably ..................pmsl

 

Lillibelle

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Rohannah]

It's really great to know you made it through all that, you sound happy the best medicine in the world is happiness.

[Lillibelle]

Aaaaaaaaahh,,but I have a secret lol xx

[Janie1962]

Oooohhhh.......do tell!

[richarddawkins]

Aaaaaaaaahh,,but I have a secret lol xx

 

Well i am curious too now.

[Lillibelle]

I have chronic long term severe depression caused ,in part, by an illness that won't go away..So,,at my lowest I went and saw my GP who put me on antidepressants,,fliddled and farted around with them till we found a pill/dosage that suits me.I didn't want to be monged out all the time but I wanted my brain to un fog,,It took time but we got there and I know I'm going to be on them for the rest of my life,but that's ok,,because I know,no matter what,I will never ever sit at the bottom of that pit of despair again,I'M DEPRESSED,I HAVE DEPRESSION,I NEEDED MENTAL HEALTH CARE. Noone can cope with constant sleep disturbance,we are not designed for it,and with sleep deprivation comes fear,of everything,mostly debt,you feel helpless,alone,and so desperate for your mind to stop hurting even the shadows on the wall seem to mock you when you can't sleep.So my first advice is...........get yourself to a Dr you can trust,,,,,,,,and spill your guts,,tell him/her everything..leave no symptom out..ask for help..but make sure you make it clear you are looking for something to prop you up while you heal not a drug that numbs the mind and leaves you sitting in a corner smoking a carrot..It's one small step for you,,one giant leap for your sanity.......

 

 

Love

 

Lillibelle x

[richarddawkins]

Thank you Lillibelle for sharing all that with us. It definitely takes courage to do what you have done. I had to go to four different doctors before my illness was recognised and treated.

 

What i wanted to ask you guys is how do you deal with DCA if they turn up at your door. What do you say to them. I have read that mostly they are heavily built like bouncers and are threatening. That thought really sickens me to death as i must admit i lack confidence and find it very hard to be assertive. Also the forums are awash with tales when the DCA's contacted debtors place of work. How embarrassing that can be and i wouldn't know the first thing on how to handle them. Have you guys any thoughts or experiences you can share.

 

I am sorry that my posts are usually so depressing but hey if i don't ask you guys where else can i go.

 

best regards

[Janie1962]

Richard, your post are NOT depressing! You're not expected to be turning cartwheels - if you can't be yourself here, where can you be?

 

I've had DCAs turning up. I tell them it's being sorted at their office and I will not discuss it with them. It's worked so far - but having a big dog howling helps! If you don't give them time to answer and close the door firmly there's not much they can do. Yes, it can be embarrassing, but no-one ever died of embarrassment. Besides which, hopefully we can head them off and it won't get that far for you.

 

Lillibelle's courage is inspiring; and she's living proof it can be done, Richard. You'll get there, too!

[Lillibelle]

Richard,,theres only room for one dingbat round here,,and thats me..Your posts are NOT depressing (gives Richard a virtual cuff round ear),,you are at the start of the road well travelled and it's scary and horrible and if I could barge all the horrible bits away I would. DCA's come in all shapes sizes colours and religions,sometimes the ones built like a brick outhouse are the nicest (not that I recommend them as dinner guests)..I have the advantage of being so nosey I look out of my lounge window before opening door,if I don't know the person or they look a bit officious I either don't answer the door,or open it,they ask for me,I say I'm not there and I don't know where I am and No I can't give me a message,Thankyou for calling and Goodbye (I draw the line at Have a Nice Day) But,,we're gonna head your spooks off at the pass ...

[Rohannah]

Richard,

who would be most likely to open the door where you live ?