Imagine if this happened here!

[Surfer01 1,208]

See here. The outcry would resonate for decades!

[Fred Bassett 1,546]

Would it? I'm not even sure if there would be an outcry. To be honest, I think it would be strongly welcomed here. Something I've never understood is how these people are able to get away with it. Let's face it, I expect everyone one of us knows somebody who is not paying up but should be.

[Surfer01 1,208]

It also seems that the police managed to nail a few for other crimes. I have worked in those areas as a TV engineer and you took your life into your hands back in the seventies. Both Mitchells Plain and Atlantis were built from scratch in the seventies and had modern facilities and modern houses.

[duckwaddler 61]

I agree with it!

 

And this sort of thing did happen years ago - so I'm not sure why parents who shirk their responsibilities are now allowed to get away with it

 

My Step Granddad was put into prison for non payment of maintenance to his ex Wife and her two boys in the 60's, and I think we should still be coming down on those parents who don't take responsibility!

[Surfer01 1,208]

If they cannot grab the parents they grab the grandparents as by law they are next in line of responsibility. I guess this makes sure that the parents make sure their off spring go around making babies.

[duckwaddler 61]

Quite right too!

 

I have had personal experiences in my life with not only fathers not paying for the upkeep of their children, but even a Mother trying to worm her way out of it!

 

Do they not realise the effect their actions will have on the childs self esteem as they get older? Let alone the fact of responsibility, although, that's a word that isn't put into practice very much anymore!

 

I know of one Father who had 5 children with his Wife, but knocked another woman up during an affair that happened when he was working away - not only did he refuse to pay any child support, but he did so with the backing of his wife! (Disgraceful from a woman with children if you ask me!).

 

So can you imagine how that lad, who's now a grown adult must feel? Knowing that his "Father" paid for and raised five, but denied responsibility for just him! These parents who drop their children for one reason or another have a lot to answer to - but it will come back and bite them all on the behind one of these days!

[Fred Bassett 1,546]

There is another side of this debate and one that should not be overlooked. I am talking now about those Fathers who do the right thing but get very little access to their children or in some cases none at all. This is an absolute scandal. I really don't see why, in this day and age, the presumption should still be that the Mother should get automatic custody in the event of a marriage break up. I'm all for coming down like a ton of bricks on absentee Fathers, but this should be balanced by making sure that, at the very least, Dads should get proper and regular access to their kids.

[SOD'EM 1,243]

A friend of mine commited suicide a few years back because of the CSA. He was a brilliant father and loved his wife very much indeed. She decided on a younger model with money though and just upped and left him with children in tow. It took him years to find out where they were, but by the time he had, the CSA made it impossible for him to keep his job, and his total lack of self esteem just threw him over the edge. I don't condone people not taking responsibility for their offspring, but there are many cases where justice is not used (nor common sense). The CSA needs a complete revamp if it is to work properly, yet nothing has been done (which has been promised by quite a few leaders) to change the mess. Every year, people that are unemployed recieve a letter from the Jobcentre Plus etc regarding how much they are entitled to. This amount is decided by what THE LAW requires a person to live on (anything less would make it impossible to survive on BY LAW), yet they still deduct monies for child support, regardless of the situation. If you have a kid then do a runner, then expect what is coming to you. But the authorities need to look at each case individually before they go stomping in all guns blazing.

[duckwaddler 61]

There is another side of this debate and one that should not be overlooked. I am talking now about those Fathers who do the right thing but get very little access to their children or in some cases none at all. This is an absolute scandal. I really don't see why, in this day and age, the presumption should still be that the Mother should get automatic custody in the event of a marriage break up. I'm all for coming down like a ton of bricks on absentee Fathers, but this should be balanced by making sure that, at the very least, Dads should get proper and regular access to their kids.

 

In most cases the Mother is given custody, and I agree with you Fred, it's not always in the best interests of the child. A friend of ours got custody of his Son, so it does happen, but rarely - and it was mostly due to his Son insisting he wanted to live with his Dad! Even after months and months off assessments on the lad (who was 10 at the time), the lad even wrote to the Judge - his ex wife (who by the way totally destroyed her once beautiful and albeit perfect family for a younger guy) continually tried to convince everybody that his Dad was "brainwashing" him.

 

He wasn't, I'd had close contact with the lad, and he confided in me - it was definitely his own choice, the Dad wouldn't even speak badly about the Mum within earshot of him! So consequently anybody who didn't take her side during it all were in cahoots with him

 

She's done everything she can to get out of paying any support, and has told the lad straight "if you don't live with me then you only see me no and again"! I'm happy to say though, that the lad is doing very well indeed, his confidence is in abundance lol!

 

A friend of mine commited suicide a few years back because of the CSA. He was a brilliant father and loved his wife very much indeed. She decided on a younger model with money though and just upped and left him with children in tow. It took him years to find out where they were' date=' but by the time he had, the CSA made it impossible for him to keep his job, and his total lack of self esteem just threw him over the edge. I don't condone people not taking responsibility for their offspring, but there are many cases where justice is not used (nor common sense). The CSA needs a complete revamp if it is to work properly, yet nothing has been done (which has been promised by quite a few leaders) to change the mess. Every year, people that are unemployed recieve a letter from the Jobcentre Plus etc regarding how much they are entitled to. This amount is decided by what [b']THE LAW[/b] requires a person to live on (anything less would make it impossible to survive on BY LAW), yet they still deduct monies for child support, regardless of the situation. If you have a kid then do a runner, then expect what is coming to you. But the authorities need to look at each case individually before they go stomping in all guns blazing.

 

The CSA needs to be abolished altogether I feel Sod'em - they don't do fair assessments! Also, they wouldn't know what the meaning of the word "individual circumstances" is!

 

There needs to be a much fairer system, publicly run, where by each case is looked at on a very individual basis, no two cases will ever be the same!

 

A cousin of mine who rarely saw his daughter, was made to pay £400 per month - while he was with his ex, she had an older boy who wasn't my cousins biological Son, but he saw him as his own, and my cousin still gave her £50 per week cash for him too - the CSA didn't even want to listen to him about that!

 

From my own personal experience, when I met my ex Husband, his ex girlfriend was chasing him for child support - but he was adamant the child wasn't his, so never paid a penny for him, ever! I had the misfortune of falling pregnant to him also, by this time I realised he was dangerously violent!

 

I eventually left him after one particular assault that left me needing reconstructive surgery on my face, I was terrified that my child would be taken from me if I were to stay with him, as he was showing signs of losing his patience with her also - but because we were married, the courts by law had to send him the papers to give him the opportunity to have access, as well as making an application for child support - do you think he bothered? Nope, he didn't!

 

So yet another one he never paid for from the age of 5 till she was 18! And he got away with that one also!

 

She's "in with him" now, and of course I'm the bad one, as she's been told I kept her away from him and he wasn't given the opportunity to see her lol! I couldn't have stopped him had he have wanted to, with us being married, even if it had have been supervised access, I even still have all the paperwork! He ignored most of it, and some of it he even sent back!

 

He has yet another child, and I know for a fact if that childs Mother didn't want to be with him anymore, he would not want to know that child till it was out of the "child support" range, just the way he did with his eldest two!

 

It's Fathers/Mothers such as this, and the one I mentioned in my previous post who need to be brought to justice for this! Especially if the state have had to support their children - they should be made to pay it all back to the state, no matter how many years have gone by!

 

Hmmm, I wonder if Government would snap that idea up to rake in more revenue? That's one policy I'd totally support! In fact, I may even suggest it to them

[Fred Bassett 1,546]

Well this is what I can't understand. If the State knows who these people are, they should go after them with everything they can. Even after the kids have reached the age of 18. Somebody had to support them and the chances are it was the state.

[duckwaddler 61]

They run, lie and cheat (By the way I'm not talking about genuine parents such as Sod'Ems friend) - they get people to lie for them also, I even lied for my ex, as I genuinely believed him when he said his eldest Son wasn't his! I hold my hands up to that, which is why I would support a policy of making them pay now, even if it was for a child from 30/40yrs ago, just as much as I would support the parent of a child who is being used as a pawn to score points, when the parent has done no wrong!

 

Because the application was made to my ex when the child was under the age of 18, the CSA would take it on - I've thought about it, but for my personal circumstances I'd rather just leave him and his kind to fester with each other, Karma will catch up eventually!

 

However if the Government were to introduce a system were by they had to pay back support, then I'd be more than happy to provide them with all the paperwork they needed