I need a solution...please help us

[bubbsie1]

Hi IOWH

'there simply has to be a way out of this mess, quickly and amicably..'

whilst I have no wish to 'burst your bubble' Once Happy I have learnt there is no quick solution to major debt problems and once again I would caution you not to rush into anything in the hope there is, that often creates more problems than it solves .

 

As Elsa has pointed out you have made a start and now she in on the case (as a 'learner') I would defer to her and the more expereinced 'caggers' on the site to advise how best to deal with the secured/unsecured debt from hereonin.

 

Good luck

 

bubbsie

[Iwasoncehappy]

BTW.

 

I went to bed dead early last night and slept incredibly well..today I have taken a day off to sort this out and spend a bit of time with my 2 year old and then my 9 year old when he gets in from school.

 

I figured I needed a break and they needed their dad!

[casper1963]

sounds to me like youve made a good first step to getting your life back good luck with all of this and hope you have a great day with your kids sounds like you deserve it

kind regards casper

[spot]

Something I read on here once - switched on the light for me..

 

“Ruminations:

This was a liberating day - surprisingly so, in some respects.

 

Got up early, having decided to set the ball rolling. Drove my long-suffering wife (it's our 23rd anniversary on Sunday - your felicitations will be most welcome) to work and went to have a cup of coffee while waiting for the banks to open. A multi-shot black coffee with cream. Woke me up a bit.

 

Banks opened: I went to the Portman Building society first and asked if they had a basic bank account. No, is the short answer. They can't do standing orders and DDs, so no use to me, then. Looked for Co-Op: none in (market city in SW England). So I went to Lloyds TSB. I've banked with them before - 30 years ago, when I was a student. The moment I stopped being a student, they demanded the entire overdraft back. Immediately. So I switched - to NatWest, as it happens, but that was a long time ago and I've been with Midland, Barclays and NatWest again, since then.

 

Didn't have the right ID so I had to go home and get it. Went back. Explained that my credit rating was likely to be bl**dy awful - CCjs, debts registered - from bad times in the late 1990s, what with negative equity and everything. Lost £ooos on my house. Bad times, bad times. I've been grateful to NatWest for the account, the overdraft, the loan (which was for the charges racked up on my account, in essence) - everything. She said it would probably be OK: discharged bankrupts are able to have the Cash account. I wouldn't get a cheque book for at least three months but they would do SOs and DDs.

 

So we went through the opening procedure. As it turned out, the ID-ing was fine: they got me from the Electoral Roll and whatever else they use. Then: she said 'Now we do the credit scoring'.

 

Gulp!

 

(she took a deep breath, too!)

 

She pressed the button and....all fine. Nothing registered. I looked at the screen, so did she. I couldn't believe it, and neither could she, quite, because of the harrowing tale I'd told (briefly) about the problems, the CCJs (last one - 2 years ago - was Inland Revenue not agreeing the arrangement I'd put forward. The Court accepted my arrangement but gave judgement, in any case). I couldn't believe it - but then: all the financial issues, the CCJs and so on (except for Inland Revenue) were more than 6 years ago. Apparently, I was the first person for ages she didn't have to call head office about.

 

This is interesting. It was liberating - you can hardly believe the weight I felt fall from my shoulders. I've tried, over the past year or so, to negotiate loans from NatWest, either at my own instigation or by them suggesting and - no go. Don't rack up on the credit scoring.

 

I had thought - no, I'd firmly believed - for so long that I wasn't worth anything, that I was lucky to have a bank that would allow me a cheque/debit card, that i was, indeed, deeply fortunate to be allowed an overdraft and, a few years ago, a loan.

 

The experience of opening the parachute account helped me to realise something. It's a commercial relationship, nothing more (or less). But it was much more than that. Much, much more than that. It's about the relationship I've had with NatWest.

 

Psychiatrists, or maybe psychologists - counsellors and therapists, anyway - have a term for what's been going on between me and NatWest. It's called a co-dependent abusive relationship. The submissive partner - me, in this case - has feelings of worthlessness, and comes to depend on the abusive partner - the bank. The feeling of worthlessness is such that you become grateful for anything, no matter how humiliating it is. They have all the power, you have none, but they are prepared to notice you and pay some attention. They treat you with contempt - which, from their point of view, is no more than you deserve: you're a useless, submissive worm. But you are grateful: after all, no-one else will give you anything, you know that. You know it and believe it, deep in your heart.

 

Wrong.

 

Other people, outsiders, wonder why you stay in such an abusive situation. They wouldn't, they tell themselves. But you might. You might be gradually ground down, as I was. You might feel, or even believe, that you deserve the abuse. So you accept it, and you effectively beg for any attention you can get, no matter if it reinforces the appalling, negative image you've built up of yourself. You accept the refusals, the dismissals, as just, and no more than you deserve. You embrace each positive reaction as a huge favour. But it's all an abuse. As the introduction to the site says, the banks play on our innate feelings of morality, of equity and of justice and fair play. We have been brought up to believe that the banks are pillars of society, that they are above mere trade and commerce, that they are something Other. But they aren't: they're in business, like your mechanic, the market trader, the sandwich shop, Tesco's, anything. They are no more than traders and they actually produce: nothing. Not a damn thing. They add nothing of value, they merely facilitate transactions, nothing more.

 

So, opening the parachute account was a big step. Actually deciding to do it was, in fact, the Big Step. I have decided to be abused no more. Not only have I decided that, I've taken a real, positive and concrete step to do something about it, to do more than just talk about it or fantasise. I have decided to move away from the situation where I've been abused.

 

Yes, I've been lucky in the credit scoring and not everyone will get the same. But the Big Step was the decision to do it. My next tranche of income is going in to the new account. The standing orders and DDs will be transferred shortly before the next lump of income. The NatWest account will be in dispute and probably over the overdraft limit but I no longer worry about it. I'm not worried about the charges they'll levy because I now know they're illegal. I'm looking forward to finding out what my life will be like when I'm no longer putting up with someone looting my account to the tune of £300 or £400 a month.

 

NatWest isn't my children, it isn't my car (which needs to be repaired); it isn't the updated computer I would like to have in order to do my work, it isn't my wife's birthday present and it isn't my mother, who lives over 200 miles away and I haven't been able to get to see for over a year because I couldn't afford it. It isn't the heating oil company, who'd threatened to close my credit account - leaving me without heat this winter - because the DDs had been bounced - and while there was money available. It isn't the local authority, whose DD was bounced yet again this month, because of the charges. NatWest doesn't deserve any respect from me: it hasn't shown me any. It deserves neither consideration or fear from me.

 

I have my parachute account. I don't care that I won't have a chequebook for a few months. It will be a while before the case comes to court but, in my mind and in my heart, I'm now free.

 

Fear of flying? No, I love it.

 

If/when the euphoria fades, I'll let you know!

 

NOW read it again !

[bdcarr]

I would agree with the other comments, don't rush into anything here. Time is on your side and with the right guidance and actions, it will become clear.

 

Your taking huge steps already and the one thing that I would say, expect some arrogant gits from time to time that have no understanding. We all come across them but they are harmless at the end of the day.

 

The other thing which Im not sure has been mentioned but is always worth doing, is obtain everything in writing. Otherwise you may get caught out when a Call Centre member agrees X and the company believes Y. Capture as much in writing and send it this way too to avoid any confusion.

 

Also make sure you are claiming from the Gov. any tax credits and assistance you maybe entitled too.

 

And watch out for a change in Mortgage rates, at the moment with SVR's being extremely low. A small increase in base rate could see your interest payment increase by anything upto 50% depending on what mortgage you are on.

 

Good shout on taking the day off and spending time with the little ones. Have you told the wife that you are on here trying to get help and advice. Might be worth doing to give her some easy sleeping.

 

Where all with you and supporting you.

[Undercover-Elsa]

Hi thanks for your reply.

 

I will send off the requests for the original documents. To be honest, I set fire to all the agreements 2 years ago once Payplan got involved !!

 

What form do I need to send them to get the original documents?..I think all the barclays loans were pre 2007 and the MBNA CC but the rest were after 2007 ..I think.

 

Thanks

 

Morning!

Glad you slept better!

You need to send the CCA template linked in my blog. £1 postal order/recorded delivery. Don't sign, just type your name and initial over it. Put the receipt for each in the file, start a fly sheet at the front of each file with date/action. Add a precis of responses so you can keep track, as well as filing letters in order.

 

That's your homework for today!

 

PS..have you received default notices for any of these accounts?

[Iwasoncehappy]

Thanks Elsa!.

 

" My homework"....I promise to complete it on time, to a good standard but I do expect a merit mark and a lolly!!

 

Thanks so much for your help..I'm off to the park with the little un and then I will get my homework done....Still chuckling

[bubbsie1]

Good to hear that IOWH

[Iwasoncehappy]

Hi All.

 

I have not been in touch as I was sent away on work related stuff to Italy last Saturday..will be in touch when I return. I have very limited computer access.

[PriorityOne]

 

It sounds like life has... and is.... giving you a real battering..... I can totally relate to your story and the stress it's brought you; as can many on here. Please don't give up. It's a slow journey but we will eventually help you to find a better way forward. I've just scanned through the thread quicky and there are some areas which need clarifying....

 

They mis-sold this to us and apparently we do not have a leg to stand on. Why do you not have a leg to stand on and who told you this? I ended up going to Payplan 2 years ago to sort the unsecured debt. We have paid without delay ever since but our credit rating is dreadful and we still owe about £40K at £400pm we are in bed with them for an eternity. This seems way to high. Payplan won't reduce it to an affordable level because they are more interested in funding creditors than anything else. We have a mortgage £141K on interest only and of course the awful Firstplus loan of some 77k that ,even after 5 years of payments...we still owe them more than we took out in the first place!! and the FP interest rate is near 10%!! You mentioned making a SAR somewhere. Was this sent by rec. delivery? What did you get back? They have to send you everything because it's a legal request for information. Once this has been received and you are happy that they have sent everything, we can then rip it apart and put them to strict proof.

 

We have 2 fantastic boys 2 and 9, my wife is working nights as a nurse, I am full time and do some work on the side but we still struggle. We do not have holidays or luxuries ( I smoke, i know I shouldn't but...) I am suffering enormously with stress. I have continuous colds, aches, pains, headaches, stomach problems, chest pains...it getting worse and now I sleep very little, when I do I wake up several times a night...I think you get the idea!...We can't sell the house because we would never get another mortgage and we would be left in negative equity. I can't go Bankrupt because I would lose my job. Forget selling the house and forget bankruptcy..... The house is in negative equity and you'd be seen as making yourself intentionally homeless. Private sector rent is just as high (in some cases) as mortgage payments anyway.

 

We have made serious errors I know, I feel many of these loans are unenforceable but I am losing the energy to fight them. Well, you are not alone anymore and we enjoy fighting them.... FP are very difficult to deal with...they can make up their figures at will depending on how they feel that month..No they cannot.... you may need to send off a fresh SAR though if the timescale between sending the last one and now is too long. a total joke ( I have paid them nearly £36000 in 5 years and I still owe them more than I took out...Carol Vorderman should be ashamed) They will need to justify this....

 

What I am really asking for is some guidance..We can't go on like this. My wife and I are falling out a lot and I have thought of leaving..we have 2 smashing boys and we do love eachother but...I, especially, am absorbed by this negative demeanour I have because of debt. I am not surprised but please don't lose sight of what's important in your life. Money issues can be dealt with, pressure from companies can be reduced. Your family cannot be replaced and are worth far more than anything else.

 

 

You've already had some excellent advice re. sending CCA requests. I can't remember your list of outgoing offhand.... so will take a quick look again now and post back shortly.

 

[PriorityOne]

My unsecured debts ( approximate figures)

 

Barclays loan £11100

Barclay loan £5500

Barclay O/D £4000

Alliance/leics Loan £9000

Egg CC £6200

Paypal CC £3000 ( transferred to lewis group)

MBNA CC £1200 ( transferred to Experto Credite)

 

You can CCA all of these.... The overdraft is not subject to a signed Agreement (as such) but it would be interesting to see what came back in response to your request for information.

 

 

Secured stuff

 

Mortgage express £ 141900 Leave this one alone for now...

Barclays Firstplus xxxxxxxx £77000 SAR needs to go to these people, which should cover everything Barclays hold on you, if FP are part of the same outfit.

 

I currently pay

 

£400 to my DMP via payplan for the above unsecured debt Too high... (in my opinion) but wait until you have responses to the CCA requests before looking into it. Alternatively, you could make the decision to reduce these payments yourself now but Payplan won't be happy and it might cause you additional stress. Once you have respomnses to your CCA requests, the way forward will be much clearer.

£300 to Mortgage express ( interest only mortgage) Continue with this.

£650 to FP Secured... is this the Barclays FP one listed above? I'm assuming so....

 

other expenses

 

£400 Nursery fees ( my wife works nights and sacrifices sleep to pick little un up early to lower costs)

£144 Gas Elec

£350 Petrol

£80 Car insurance ( for both cars)

£100 Life insurance

£136 council tax

£12 TV License

£4-500 food

£35 House insurance

£85 water

£10 Sky

£12 AA

£ 35 mobiles

£ 30 Telephone broadband

 

These are household bills and unless you can find ways to reduce these as a family, it's certainly not my place to advise you here. I'm sure you've already looked into this anyway and whatever savings you can make should really be ploughed back into family life anyway (in my opinion... again)

 

Add a bit of spending, car repairs, house maintenance, clothes, shoes, MOT's, school trips.. oh and I religiously put £10 a month in to my boys accounts..we then have very little.

 

Thanks for looking

 

If you have any other question at this stage, please ask.

[Iwasoncehappy]

Hi All.

 

I'm Back..well I have been for a few weeks. I was inconsiderately sent to Italy with Work to sort some Libyans out. I am going to attempt to sort this on-going issue out.

 

Sorry for the long delay in getting back to you all.