Can you help - depression bought on by workplace stress

[montaguegg]

I work in large nursing home owned by a private company ,I have been there for over 2 years .My problems began in November of last year.

I had been chosen to work on a special project alongside my manager which amounted to us producing a huge portfolio of evidence as well as being inspected which if we passed would mean we would also have a hospice status,I am passionate about people reaching the end of their lives in a painfree and dignified way so I worked very hard what I did not know was that the home had failed the year before and it was senior nurses who had failed,therefore there was clearly an unwillingness to help me gather information for a number of reasons chiefly though because I was only a health care assistant and there was also jealousy because i was promoted to senior and given the title dignity champion.

I know my manager has a fiery temper but I was shocked when I took a call put through to me on the floor from the inspector to arrange the inspection visit She absolutely screamed at me told me infrront of a number of co workers that she was the boss how dare I speak to them etc. The secretary told her that they had not rung me they had asked for her but as she was out of the office she put it through to me as I knew the details.

The explanation did not help and she remained angry refusing to meet the inspector and being offhand.

Needless to say the inspector picked up the vibes and we failed.

Having worked on the nursing floor happily for a long time without any explanation I was transferred to the nursing dementia floor.

since then my life at work has been a living nightmare.

The first incident was when I returned from an outing with a resident I was called in the office to be told that one of my coworkers did not think it fair that I was senior he should get more because he was a man,she called her deputy in and then continued repeating gossip I could not say anything.

A few days later I was working with a colleague and we were putting residents to bed after supper we went to one resident to change them and saw on the table half a yogurt and drink her daughter was there and we settled her down for the night we did not know she had not had supper until a few moments later when the other carer told us,by then the residents daughter was going mad.I was then handed the phone and the manager was absolutely abusing me down the phone I tried to explain but she wouldn't listen she just kept on and on.

Next day I was called to the office and she and the deputy manager were there again she started shouting and the deputy was shouting they accused me of so much including depriving an old lady of her supper,they would not let me speak and would not talk to my work partner who was with me the whole time and could have explained.

I felt so awful I just put my hands over my head while they told blatant lies .

A week later I was called in for a meeting and none of this was mentioned the blame was put on the deputy who had since walked out they even offered to pay me for a couple of the days off.

There are many more incidences but to explain why i need help I must tell the last one.

I returned to work after having 3 rest days on a Tuesday I was working with a girl and we work well together we went to a resident and notice her feet were a bit swollen not unusual in people with osteo arthritis we used the correct sling hoist to take her out of bed and to put her back in the evening in line with common practice on the floor we used a standing hoist to assist her with personal needs at lunchtime at no time were either of us on our own and nothing untoward happened however when we put her to bed we noticed her foot was very swollen and dark we informed the nurse immediately she looked and said that it was probably because she had her foot down just raise her leg up.

Next morning we again went to her and the foot was much worse we called the nurse again and the GP came she sent her for a xray and it was fractured there was a social services investigation.We both repeatedly told the story over and over again and a number of times she was asked to say I was lying and that I used the standing hoist and knocked it she kept saying no behind my back it was blamed on me and even when another colleague on the floor told them I always use the sling hoist they said he was only saying it because we are friends.I have begun to get migraines recently and I phoned sick the next day causing even more grief for myself.

On return to work I was summoned to the office again again I was endured another 40 mins of being made out to be a liar at one point she said that my partner said I used the standing hoist I knew she had no said it but when I said I will get her I was told thats not allowed and if I talk to her I would be disciplined for gossiping.

Sunday I came to work and I am well aware that its the topic of conversation I had already been treated to a lecture about the standing hoist and then the final straw was walking up behind the nurse who was telling my co workers to keep there eye on me and I am a liability even one of the two a young girl started saying that what happened was my responsibility and they dont want me to cause more trouble.

I finished the day and after another awful sleepless night I went my GP she diagnosed depression bought on by workplace stress and gave me medication and a a cert for 7 days.

I rang work and said I was signed off but I did not want the reason all over the building I emailed the cert via internet cafe and have a receipt I stressed to the secretary it was confidential,I was rung today by the acting deputy saying they never got the cert will i resend to her email Ii dont want to do this because it wont stay private she already rang other staff at home to try and get information she also repeatedly asked on on the phone today when I would be back I told her I dont know til I see the GP.

Please can anyone help me my life is not worth living at the moment I dont understand why this is happening Ive never wished any harm to anyone and these incidents are only representative there is much more I dont know what changed since November previous to that I had been nominated for healthcare assistant of the year by the same manager and I have a card from the company owner thanking me for the work I did on palliative care.

I am being treated as though some sort of serial abuser and many colleagues have turned their backs on me and my friends are scared to support me.

I apologize for the length of this post but nearly everyday since November something has been said to me.

I do not have anything in writing.

Any advice would be gratefully received.

Sally

[honeybee13]

Hello Sally, welcome to the forum. This sounds tough for you, I'm sorry.

 

Is there any chance you can edit your post to put in some paragraphs please? It makes it much easier for us to read and you should get more advice.

 

My best, HB

[papasmurf1cx]

Sally, sorry to hear of your troubles at work. I know it is not much but many on here have been through very similar situations, including my own wife. It is tough and it is clear to me from what you have written that for some reason they want you out.

 

Their problem is not you, it is their management, but managers who are failing never acknowledge that they are the problem, they look for the easiest target and seemingly it is you.

 

You have to make your mind up here as to what you are intending to do, stay and fight or give in and move on. Moving on may be beneficial because you may get better and that is a big consideration. On the other hand bullying you and making you ill is not on either, but you know your character, what are you a fighter or a quitter? Just so you know, I am a fighter, but that is not necessarily the best thing, quitting and keeping your health is in my view an honourable option too.

 

If you are a fighter, you need to start a log of the incidents that you suffer at work, who did and said what and why. Day date time place event. Make sure you have legal protection insurance in case you have to take them to a Tribunal. You may have it attached to home contents insurance. Get the employer's grievance policy and bullying and harassment policy and read them, you may need to submit a grievance, so best you understand what they are doing to you. Consequently your evidence should be very clear. Make sure you continue to see your GP and get your condition noted from time to time, this is important because at some stage in the future you may be covered by the Equality Act 2010, but that is later.

 

Keep us informed especially as to what you want to achieve out of this.

[Bigredbus]

I work in large nursing home owned by a private company ,I have been there for over 2 years .My problems began in November of last year.

I had been chosen to work on a special project alongside my manager which amounted to us producing a huge portfolio of evidence as well as being inspected which if we passed would mean we would also have a hospice status,I am passionate about people reaching the end of their lives in a painfree and dignified way so I worked very hard what I did not know was that the home had failed the year before and it was senior nurses who had failed,therefore there was clearly an unwillingness to help me gather information for a number of reasons chiefly though because I was only a health care assistant and there was also jealousy because i was promoted to senior and given the title dignity champion.

I know my manager has a fiery temper but I was shocked when I took a call put through to me on the floor from the inspector to arrange the inspection visit She absolutely screamed at me told me infrront of a number of co workers that she was the boss how dare I speak to them etc. The secretary told her that they had not rung me they had asked for her but as she was out of the office she put it through to me as I knew the details.

The explanation did not help and she remained angry refusing to meet the inspector and being offhand.

Needless to say the inspector picked up the vibes and we failed.

Having worked on the nursing floor happily for a long time without any explanation I was transferred to the nursing dementia floor.

since then my life at work has been a living nightmare.

The first incident was when I returned from an outing with a resident I was called in the office to be told that one of my coworkers did not think it fair that I was senior he should get more because he was a man,she called her deputy in and then continued repeating gossip I could not say anything.

A few days later I was working with a colleague and we were putting residents to bed after supper we went to one resident to change them and saw on the table half a yogurt and drink her daughter was there and we settled her down for the night we did not know she had not had supper until a few moments later when the other carer told us,by then the residents daughter was going mad.I was then handed the phone and the manager was absolutely abusing me down the phone I tried to explain but she wouldn't listen she just kept on and on.

Next day I was called to the office and she and the deputy manager were there again she started shouting and the deputy was shouting they accused me of so much including depriving an old lady of her supper,they would not let me speak and would not talk to my work partner who was with me the whole time and could have explained.

I felt so awful I just put my hands over my head while they told blatant lies .

A week later I was called in for a meeting and none of this was mentioned the blame was put on the deputy who had since walked out they even offered to pay me for a couple of the days off.

There are many more incidences but to explain why i need help I must tell the last one.

I returned to work after having 3 rest days on a Tuesday I was working with a girl and we work well together we went to a resident and notice her feet were a bit swollen not unusual in people with osteo arthritis we used the correct sling hoist to take her out of bed and to put her back in the evening in line with common practice on the floor we used a standing hoist to assist her with personal needs at lunchtime at no time were either of us on our own and nothing untoward happened however when we put her to bed we noticed her foot was very swollen and dark we informed the nurse immediately she looked and said that it was probably because she had her foot down just raise her leg up.

Next morning we again went to her and the foot was much worse we called the nurse again and the GP came she sent her for a xray and it was fractured there was a social services investigation.We both repeatedly told the story over and over again and a number of times she was asked to say I was lying and that I used the standing hoist and knocked it she kept saying no behind my back it was blamed on me and even when another colleague on the floor told them I always use the sling hoist they said he was only saying it because we are friends.I have begun to get migraines recently and I phoned sick the next day causing even more grief for myself.

On return to work I was summoned to the office again again I was endured another 40 mins of being made out to be a liar at one point she said that my partner said I used the standing hoist I knew she had no said it but when I said I will get her I was told thats not allowed and if I talk to her I would be disciplined for gossiping.

Sunday I came to work and I am well aware that its the topic of conversation I had already been treated to a lecture about the standing hoist and then the final straw was walking up behind the nurse who was telling my co workers to keep there eye on me and I am a liability even one of the two a young girl started saying that what happened was my responsibility and they dont want me to cause more trouble.

I finished the day and after another awful sleepless night I went my GP she diagnosed depression bought on by workplace stress and gave me medication and a a cert for 7 days.

I rang work and said I was signed off but I did not want the reason all over the building I emailed the cert via internet cafe and have a receipt I stressed to the secretary it was confidential,I was rung today by the acting deputy saying they never got the cert will i resend to her email Ii dont want to do this because it wont stay private she already rang other staff at home to try and get information she also repeatedly asked on on the phone today when I would be back I told her I dont know til I see the GP.

Please can anyone help me my life is not worth living at the moment I dont understand why this is happening Ive never wished any harm to anyone and these incidents are only representative there is much more I dont know what changed since November previous to that I had been nominated for healthcare assistant of the year by the same manager and I have a card from the company owner thanking me for the work I did on palliative care.

I am being treated as though some sort of serial abuser and many colleagues have turned their backs on me and my friends are scared to support me.

I apologize for the length of this post but nearly everyday since November something has been said to me.

I do not have anything in writing.

Any advice would be gratefully received.

Sally

 

_____________________________________________________

 

Hi Sally,

 

There are a couple of things in your favour in this post, and I understand how difficult this situaton is for you and how much frustration you are going through, especially when you are so committed to the well-being of those elderly people in your care.

 

a) You have been chosen to work on a 'special' project... Let me draw up an analogy here, before we go any further. Do you think that an airbase commander would allocate the most expensive and technical aircraft to the sloppier pilot on the base? Do you think that that commander would risk sending such a pilot into a sensitive mission on such an aircraft?... No! would be your answer... For such a mission he would most probably choose his most competent and capable pilot, being sure that the outcome of the mission would be up to his expectations. If you hae been chosen to work on such a project, it is not unintentional, or accidental... Your employer recognised your skills, capability and commitment. Be sure of this...

 

b) Your dedication, and commitment are second to none, and can be easily inferred from reading your post.

 

Now, you absolutely need to make a diary of all instances of bullying/harrassment, including your feelings and emotions at the time.

 

You have, absolutely have to let your employer know about your work related stress. They are not supposed to have knowledge of it, unless they are told offically...

 

Armed with all this information and knowledge, you should then a raise a grievance, stating facts and requesting that your employer look into the matter in a professional manner. Should they refuse or be careless in their dealing withthe matter, then you should contact both the Health and Safety Executive (HSE) and a solicitor in order to both request more information about bullying/harrassment at work and have a legal view of your problem, helping you make an informed decision as per the steps you should take to redress this situation.

 

Keep us informed...

 

We are all (CAGGERS) behind you...

[montaguegg]

Thankyou so much for your advice I will keep let you know how it goes I must keep strong. Sally

[Orange2311]

my daugters in a similar kind of position to you

[stuart_coogh]

what was the response with your grievance, do you have legal insurance cover in place to fund the case?

 

you workplace are liable because they caused your depression, find a good solicitor that can take this on for you