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Could this be bullying?


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Guest suziedarkness

My husband changed jobs 6 months ago. He worked for his previous company for 15 years and his job was as secured as could be expected in this current climate. A part of the company had a sort of falling out and set up on their own and after a few months contacted my husband and asked my husband to go and work for them. They offered him more money and potentially better job procpects as he was to be the office manager.

 

This new company was funded by 3 people, two who worked at the previous company who my husband new and a third person who was a friend of one of the others. (I know this is a little long winded but its important to explain so please bear with it!). the two people my husband new were the partners of the company but the other person was not qualified so could not be classed as a partner but was the CEO.

 

Anyway, to try and cut a long story shorter, this CEO person does not appear to like my husband and has made it very clear to him that he is only there because the main partner wants him there and if it was up to her he wouldnt be.

 

He has been giving it his best shot over the six months he has been there but basically he has nothing to do. All the jobs he should be doing this CEO is doing herself giving him menial tasks and has now put the block on him going out of the office at all so he has to stay in the office.

 

Apart from the job not being anything like he was led to believe, his is constantly being belittled by this woman. On one occassion he asked her something and she shouted out in front of everyone "it had better be right of I will sack you".

 

I fear his health is starting to be affected. He has become very withdrawn and a few mornings he has been very upset and almost tearful because he does not want to go there.

 

Its getting to the point now when one day he is just going to "walk". I feel like I want to give this woman a piece of my mind. Everyone hates her apparently. People are not allowed to talk when she is there and she seems to bully everyone except the partners.

 

I was just wondering if anyone out there had any comments. I am so annoyed that he gave up 15years in a company because he thought he was going to a better job with better prospects, but instead the reality is something quite different and his life is being made a misery by some bully and will soon be unemployed or have a breakdown. I was wondering if there is any chance of a tribal getting involved.

 

Any help greatly appreciated.

SD

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Has your husband spoken to the Partner who did invite him to join the new company ?

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Guest suziedarkness

CB,

Yes, he has said things to both partners but it is awkward as this troll of a woman is friends with one of them. Both are aware of how she is treating people but nothing seems to be changing.

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Is there ANY possibility of hubby contacting the previous company and going back with his tail between his legs? I say that because I did exactly that many years ago, having slammed the door on the way out I had to go back and admit i was wrong and ask for the chance to return to the better company, with nicer people blah blah grovel grovel. It worked for me and I didn't regret backing down. It made me a better person and employee at the time.

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Hi,

 

There are few websites of interest, which deal with bullying at work...

 

Have a look at this one.

 

http://www.workplacebullying.co.uk/index.html

---Aut viam inveniam aut faciam---

 

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Guest suziedarkness

Yes DD, he tried that a month after he left but unfortunately he had been replaced so there was no vacancy. He has made it quite clear to his previous employer that he wanted to go back.

 

Thank you Big Red Bus, I will have a look :-)

 

SD

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest suziedarkness

Ok, things have not improved, in fact they are worse.

I made my husband go to the doctors because it is starting to affect us all and he has been put on antidepressants. We have talked about it and my husband is going to resign from his job next week as he cant stand it anymore. He has spoken to a senior partner a few weeks ago who is fully aware of the situation and know what this woman is like but nothing has been done about it.

 

This is really worrying as he has no other job to go to and people may say its a very foolish move as he will become unemployed, but, I have never seen him so unhappy and he doesnt feel liuke he has any other choice.

 

I did contact Acas and they said that because his employment is less than 1year he cannot go for constructive dismissal but he can persue breach of contract as the company has failed a duty of care.

 

Is anyone able to add any info, would be much appreciated.

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Well he may as well fight her back. Bring her down a peg or two in front of the other employees. If he has planned to quit anyway, I am sure he wouldn't mind taking this approach? Might be fun for a bit of payback. Tell her where she can stick her attitude.

 

In this position I think I'd rather be sacked than quit. Not sure how the benefits thing works for certain but I understand if you quit you lose out on benefits for a certain amount of time.

Edited by leedsguy
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Guest suziedarkness

Ha, yes Leedsguy I think he will and if he doesnt then I certainly will! She sits behind him all day apparently, deadly quiet office noone is allowed to speak and taps her nails on the desk.

He has written his resignation letter already and put everything in it as to why he is leaving and basically how let down he feels giving up a 14year job for what he thought was better prospects only to find out 6 months later he is unemployed and on the brink of a breakdown. He is going to hand it to the senior partner next week.

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I feel she might get a new nickname coming on. "Office bitch" perhaps? Maybe some "she's been sleeping with..." rumours too :D

Edited by leedsguy
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Guest suziedarkness

Office Bitch is one option and I have a few other pet names for her too which I could not possibly reveal on here!:-)

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Deffo do what Acas said and sue for breach of contract and personal injury claim for work related stress.

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http://www.hse.gov.uk/

 

try this, sorry to hear you are having this trouble, its a bit dark ages isnt it?

'rise like lions after slumber, in unvanquishable number, shake your chains to the earth like dew, which in sleep had fall'n on you, ye are many, they are few.' Percy Byshse Shelly 1819

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I too am having trouble at work, (maybe we can have a thread for this eh mods?) it is a serious matter and undermines the progess of any company and the health of good staff!!!

 

a new person joined our team - almost immediately I was on the receving end of little jibes and comments, mostly made when no one else was in earshot?

 

I was a far more experienced member of staff and it was my role to 'show' the new person how to do the job - trouble was, they could not get it, kept making the obvious of mistakes and errors, some pretty serious, causing poor outcomes for the clientelle and possibly a safety issue too.

 

guess what they did ?? - they made a complaint against me! skillfully turned it around to make me the bully, this is a clever tactic obviously used well in the past by this individual. you cannot fight this, cos the more you fight it, the more you look like it is true - I went from being happy, helpful, well informed and liked, to being miserable everyday, feeling ill all the time just even thinking about having to go into work.

 

worst part of it is that it covers the tracks of those who seriously are a risk to the client group, - they sillfully create a situation where they then CANNOT be challenged, no matter how dodgy their practices are and have the cover to do what they like, no staff will comment for fear of being accused of bullying.

 

I believe this kind of behaviour is COVERT AGGRESSIVE, or predatory aggressive.

 

(apologies for overlap on your thread, if any replies I will start my own!)

'rise like lions after slumber, in unvanquishable number, shake your chains to the earth like dew, which in sleep had fall'n on you, ye are many, they are few.' Percy Byshse Shelly 1819

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Hi 'Maybelline',

 

If you have been able to notice such behaviour in his/her actions, didn't management saw it too?

---Aut viam inveniam aut faciam---

 

***All advice given should be taken as guidance... Professional advice should always be taken before any course of action is pursued***

 

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yes or no - dependent on whether one wants their hiring mistakes to be noticed and no because they have no management skills, and are guilty of similar behaviours themselves.

 

for the sake of clarity, I have already taken legal advice, so dont want to waste the time of caggers:) digging round for the regs etc, its the devastation it caused to ones health that seeks solidarity I suppose.

 

many thanks.

Edited by maybelline
update

'rise like lions after slumber, in unvanquishable number, shake your chains to the earth like dew, which in sleep had fall'n on you, ye are many, they are few.' Percy Byshse Shelly 1819

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Not to worry... and CAGGERS, I am sure, are sympathetic to your situation and more than willing to help you and support you...

 

Don't stop posting if you need help!

 

:-)

---Aut viam inveniam aut faciam---

 

***All advice given should be taken as guidance... Professional advice should always be taken before any course of action is pursued***

 

- I do not reply directly to any PMs, but you are more than welcome to enclose a link, in a PM, to your post. Thank you -

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thanks bigredbus - sometimes venting is good! not so good when it is verging on formal action and the cag is a bit of a publiic space.

however, the sentiment is appreciiated:)

'rise like lions after slumber, in unvanquishable number, shake your chains to the earth like dew, which in sleep had fall'n on you, ye are many, they are few.' Percy Byshse Shelly 1819

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My pleasure!

 

I wish you well and may you get redress...

---Aut viam inveniam aut faciam---

 

***All advice given should be taken as guidance... Professional advice should always be taken before any course of action is pursued***

 

- I do not reply directly to any PMs, but you are more than welcome to enclose a link, in a PM, to your post. Thank you -

Make a contribution to this site... Help the CAG keeping on helping you for FREE.

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In this position I think I'd rather be sacked than quit. Not sure how the benefits thing works for certain but I understand if you quit you lose out on benefits for a certain amount of time.

 

It depends on why he leaves. It's not just a case of you leave and receive nothing for 6 months. It depends entirely on the situation.

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Suziedarkness

 

This is Bullying and Harassment at its worst, and needs to be challenged.

 

For goodness sake do not let your husband resign. If he is resigned to leaving then he can now change his mindset, because this manager no longer holds any power or fears of losing his job. Advise him to go to work, but keep looking for employment elsewhere.

 

Document every event in chronological order, and challenge each incident as they happen by email and in public to ensure there is credibility to his claim, but keep calm, and be constructive in anything he says. Once he has his evidence he needs to submit a grievance and then follow through the process to the end, otherwise your husband will end up going to a civil court, and the fist thing that will be asked is; why did you not follow the company policy on Bullying and Harassment, you have not given the company the opportunity to resolve this informally, and it will be thrown out of court.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest suziedarkness

Seems like my thread has been hijacked!!!!

 

Anyway, the situation now is that my husband resigned. He reached such a low point he was getting himself in such a state. They outed him straight away, paid him a months notice and told him not to go back.

 

He has taken some legal advice that said they have breached duty of care. They suggested he write a letter first explaining how he feels and say that he feels they owe him in view of the situation. Take the nicely, nicely approach first to see what they say, then if they dont want to know turn the thumbscrews. Trouble is, he doesnt have any idea how to word it and we cant afford to pay a lawyer.

 

would anyone have any idea what to say?

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Guest suziedarkness

Motorvating,

 

Im really sorry I have just seen your thread.

Unfortunately he was in such a state he felt he had to resign. He is under the doctor for depression because he was so bad.

 

He did have it out with one of the senior partners a few weeks ago who told him not to do anything rash but nothing changed.

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