Wife trying to force me out. Help please

[stapeley]

Shes offered me £5000 to move out . She has a 4 bedhouse rented out , does it not make sense to let me live there at cost of mortgage ? If she sold would only come out with £6500. I,m i thick or something ???

[PriorityOne]

Was it in writing? I bet it wasn't.

 

Don't do it anyway...

 

Have you seen a solicitor yet?

 

[stapeley]

Seeing C A B thursday next week.

[PriorityOne]

Seeing C A B thursday next week.

 

I only hope that CAB are better at advising on this kind of issue than they are advising about debts.... P

 

lease let us kmow what they say.

[stapeley]

My bank statements show that the deposit for the house came from my bank account. Surely theres many couples that only have one person on the deeds ,partner may have a bad credit history , so not included on mortgage application . I think she will realise this and know she will need to back off from the threats ,she will not want a third party poking about in her finances or mine. But she does not seem to want to let me live in the other house . Wants to get rid of it . She will only get back £5000 from it . I will not make a claim against that . But feel the house we are in at present is completely differant . I did most of the work renovating it , new bathroom , kitchen, heating I stripped off most of the old plaster throughout the house . Value increased by £50,000. And the garden is un recognisable ! In fact most people say we could get another house on the plot . Anyway will keep you informed of developements .

[stapeley]

Purely unrelated question , A friends wife used husbands account to launder money and avoid tax . Would they both be put away ?

[PriorityOne]

My bank statements show that the deposit for the house came from my bank account. Excellent.... Surely theres many couples that only have one person on the deeds, Yes indeed.... for a number of reasons partner may have a bad credit history, so not included on mortgage application. I think she will realise this and know she will need to back off from the threats, she will not want a third party poking about in her finances or mine. But she does not seem to want to let me live in the other house. Wants to get rid of it. Is there an "iffy" mortgage on this one, by any chance? She will only get back £5000 from it. I will not make a claim against that. But feel the house we are in at present is completely differant. Most definitely... but when a married couple split, all assets are taken into account, so this is probably one of the reasons why she wants to get rid of it..... I did most of the work renovating it , new bathroom , kitchen, heating I stripped off most of the old plaster throughout the house. Have you got any receipts for any of this work? Value increased by £50,000. And the garden is un recognisable ! In fact most people say we could get another house on the plot . Anyway will keep you informed of developements .

 

 

Purely unrelated question , A friends wife used husbands account to launder money and avoid tax . Would they both be put away ?

 

I'm not really able to answer this one.... sorry. However, the rules between married couples are somewhat different to that of other arrangements, so it might be ok.

[stapeley]

Well C A B were hopeless , no worth while advice , only that i would be able to get legal aid . Have we any , legal eagles on here that know about divorce etc ?

Want conformation that when you get married all assets are considered joint . And that as a house husband that has contributed to household finances , be it in a small way, has equal entitlement .

[natalie]

All assets will be joint as you are married. However, consideration will be given to where your daughter will be living.

 

You need to make an appointment to see a solicitor urgently, as in this week. You will get legal aid and they will sort that out for you when you go. You must make an appointment today.

 

All finances will be divided between you, which means this home, the other house, and any other assets you may have.

[stapeley]

The house she rents out is in her name and bought with her deposit , as she keeps reminding me . Present house is also in her name , however , deposit was filtered through my account . She pulled afew strokes to obtain mortgage, boss enhanced earnings . I have been offered £8000 to leave and do my own thing ,as she puts it . But job prospects pity poor and at £500 a month for a decent place any money would soon go . She says she,ll take care of all payments loans credit cards etc . so in itself not a bad settlement offer .But I cann,t understand what her objection to renting me the other property . Has she other plans ?? Basically if i were to play dirty , she would lose her job and both houses. I know shes seeing her solicitor this morning , now wheather she tells him the whole story it yet to be seen . But if she does , i think his advice will be most interesting .

Edited May 4, 2011 by stapeley

[natalie]

It doesnt matter who bought what or who paid for what. You are married and you werent working because you were raising your child.

 

Dont worry about what advice she is getting, get yourself organised and get some of your own.

 

Have you discussed care arrangements for your daughter?

[stapeley]

Yes , her grandparents live 2 mins away , and cousins are very good . My worry is I won,t be able live around here , i know very few people around here. It.ll drive me crazy . I,m 54 shes 40. what have i got to look forward to now ?

[natalie]

I meant who she will live with, if you have provided majority of the care to this point, it could be assumed that you will continue this care and be the resident parent.

[stapeley]

No, she wants me to leave ! She works full time . Now takes daughter to school , and i,ve been collecting her at 3.15 .

[natalie]

What she wants is pretty irrelevant at this time. Just dont assume that because you are male, that she will automatically get residence of your daughter and the house. You are both parents, you have equal rights and responsibilities to your daughter and because of previously taking majority of care duties for your daughter, you may get residence if that is what you want.

 

Dont leave the house, dont agree to anything and get to a solicitor.

[raydetinu]

You will be ok. depends what you want do. even if you ake any money of her this will not be taken into account in final settlement.

Assets will be treated as joint so you shouldl gat at least 50% if assets sold, but as faughter in residence wont be any time soon.

You really need legal advice, but be carefull which one you go to! you mat get Legal aid too.

[PriorityOne]

The house she rents out is in her name and bought with her deposit , as she keeps reminding me . Present house is also in her name , however , deposit was filtered through my account . She pulled afew strokes to obtain mortgage, boss enhanced earnings . I have been offered £8000 to leave and do my own thing ,as she puts it . But job prospects pity poor and at £500 a month for a decent place any money would soon go . She says she,ll take care of all payments loans credit cards etc . so in itself not a bad settlement offer .But I cann,t understand what her objection to renting me the other property . Has she other plans ?? Basically if i were to play dirty , she would lose her job and both houses. I know shes seeing her solicitor this morning , now wheather she tells him the whole story it yet to be seen . But if she does , i think his advice will be most interesting .

 

Whatever she offers you needs to be in writing and through a solicitor..... but she seems quite desperate to get you out, so please ask yourself why that is? Once you are out of the marital home, you may not get back into it.... so don't budge an inch on this.

 

It doesnt matter who bought what or who paid for what. You are married and you werent working because you were raising your child.

 

Dont worry about what advice she is getting, get yourself organised and get some of your own.

 

Have you discussed care arrangements for your daughter?

 

That is not strictly true, sorry. It certainly does matter who bought what but if it can be proved that money was paid towards the actual mortgage and from your own bank account, then you have a case. Same applies to house renovations. You need specialist legal advise re. the other property in her name that is rented out but I suspect that your main claim is on the house where you're currently living, which is why she wants you out of it.

Of course, she won't want you in the rented house because then you'd be resident in that one, so all she'd be doing is transferring a problem from one property to another.

 

What she wants is pretty irrelevant at this time. Just dont assume that because you are male, that she will automatically get residence of your daughter and the house. You are both parents, you have equal rights and responsibilities to your daughter and because of previously taking majority of care duties for your daughter, you may get residence if that is what you want.

 

Dont leave the house, dont agree to anything and get to a solicitor.

 

Agree...

CAB are useless at this kind of stuff. You need a fixed fee appointment with a family law solicitor.

[natalie]

 

That is not strictly true, sorry. It certainly does matter who bought what but if it can be proved that money was paid towards the actual mortgage and from your own bank account, then you have a case. Same applies to house renovations.

 

 

If they had both worked this may be the case, the fact that he hasnt worked because he has been raising their child means that this isnt strictly the case. Even if he hadnt contributed anything financially to the house or the mortgage, he was contributing to the household by staying at home and bringing up the child.

[PriorityOne]

This is why he needs to see a family law solicitor.....

 

He may have a right to reside there to raise their child until that child is 18 but no claim on the property itself unless he can prove a financial contribution. The law is a grey area at times and this scenario happened to a friend of mine; married, house in husband's name only, he cleared off and she had the right to remain because it was the family home. Some time later the land was transferred into her name but not the house it stood on (!).... or the mortgage..... which was partly paid by DWP for years (interest) even though it was in his name. She was unable to get any info. re the mortgage either because of data protection....

 

Very strange... but true.

 

Personally, I would have gone to a different solicitor.... !!

[raydetinu]

I have been through several divorces and can confirm financial contribution by a spouse has NO influence on the split of assets, just the length of time you have been married! and your needs etc. to move on; i.e. deposit for house or flat. ( you will be required to contribute to support child if you are not resident or have equal responsibility in their care )

Children will be the prime consideration, so no house will be sold while child resident/ or in full time education locally ( unless mortgage noy pais that is )

[stapeley]

Thanks for everyone's input , i know its not really a subject covered by the site but I had nowhere else to turn .

I give her this today .

 

Please provide a copy of any documents signed by myself in regard to the property at ------

Also provide a copy of any document signed in regard to ---------

I have been advised that , at this point all assets are to be considered as joint assets .And as such no attempt should be made by either party to despose of any assets until agreement from both parties is obtained .

You have implied that no further food will be purchased for my consumption .I would , if this is the case request my own space in the fridge and freezer.

The washing machine and other amenities are to be considered joint assets and as such will be making use of them . As far as use of electric and water etc and indeed household expenses go, my current financial situation prevents a equal contribution . I would be happy to have this decided upon at a future date .And understand that you will be making a claim against these in any settlement .

I ask that all further offers and requests be made in writing.

I am sorry this may seem cold and calculated but we do not seem to able to discus these matters in a calm and controlled manner , this is the only option .

 

What do you think of that ???

 

I also asked her to , but not in writing , remind me, what it was I actually saw in her in the first place !

Edited May 4, 2011 by stapeley

[raydetinu]

YOu can ask I suppose! You really need legal advice!

do it yourself agreements only work if you both want it to. Otherwise forget it! nothing binding, but could be used later against you!

[natalie]

I dont know if we have stressed this enough, you cant do this on your own, you need a solicitor. Otherwise you risk losing everything, not just all the material things, but contact with your daughter as well if you ex decides to get nasty.

 

Its not going to cost you anything, you will get legal aid, but you really need to phone up for an appointment today.

[jackieandwayne]

Stapely, have you considered visiting your local authority homeless unit? You will find some very good legal seagulls there. Also consider going to Shelter.

 

At the council, they go hell for leather to ensure you can stay in your home, else otherwise they got to house you (if you had your daughter or even shared custody of her) in any case they have a duty to avert the situation, and it costs them.

 

In the meantime I am sure the situation at home is quite vile for you. I'm going to get slated - by all the other women on here - but, as you now know women can be poisonous in this sort of situation. We will use every bit of info we can get our hands on, so tell her nothing. We will accuse you of all sorts of hurts against us as we try to get rid of you - so when you are being provoked into yet another argument, don't take the bait. But be warned, when you don't bite we get evil - so watch out for being pushed into a situation where you get angry and lash out. Of course expect all the cat calling about how useless you are as a mere house husband on a low income, just to make us feel better and make you feel demoralised. Softens you up see. I have watched this happen in a relationship from the sidelines, and I have also acted like this in a divorce case which i was going to win whatever.

 

So take the advice on here, stay put, stay calm and sensible, care about your daughter let the ex- care about herself. Keep one eye on the ball, know everything, keep copies of anything you think will be useful, but do not get involved in arguments and discussion with the woman., and do not get involved in a slanging match - this will be a delibertate trap to make you splill out all your secrets etc.

 

Horrible situation to be in, I wish you all the luck in the world with this.

[daniellhooper]

Is there any further solution to the problem or still the same issue.