Ex wont return property

[sushi-lover]

Hi everyone.

 

Im not sure if this is the correct place to write this so please apologies in advance,

 

My ex of four years walked out on New Years Eve taking nothing but the clothes he was wearing, the keys, a dongle for internet and my daughter's ds lite accesssories and game and my other daughter;s phone he was borrowing.

 

he left everything, bank books, paperwork, a motorbike, personal items belonging to his late father and other things of sentimental value. i am reluctant to throw them out out of respect...he knows this.

 

I have asked for my things back, even sent money so he could do this...nothing. he expects my daughters to collect their things, without me...but this is not possible as i am sick and cant drive them accross London to do so....which is why I sent the money in the hope he would see sense as it is not safe for the girls in that part of London

 

I have changed my locks and asked him politely to remove his things...each with the reply I will do it ASAP

He has also said that if i touch/ sell his motorbike he will inform the police

 

its got to the point he is even accusing me of harassing him to remove his stuff...all I want is him out of our lives...my eldest has her GCSe's and we dont need the aggro

 

Legally what can I do?

he knows I am in the difficult position, being sick (I am registered disabled) I dont need stress as it is my trigger to my very poor health

 

Can a court make him remove his things? and can a court make him return my children's posessions..both given to them by their father...

 

I am presently saving up my benefits to hire a man and a van ...will take an age but Im wondering if i can then appply for costs (its annoying I should have to do this)

 

any ideas?

 

thankyou

[spamheed]

In whose name is the house you live in, is it owned or rented or whatever?

 

Whilst I can understand your wish to remove him completely from your lives it is still only two months since he left, so you need to perhaps be a little more patient, this is more for your own protection than to benefit your ex in any way.

 

It is important that your own personal feelings do not impact on your daughters, IMO it is important that they make up their own minds

 

You do not say how old your daughters are, how old are they? is there perhaps another family member who could take the girls over to collect their property and mediate in some way?

 

If he has a claim to the property, then equally he has a right to store his property there.

 

You have a right to box up his items and place them somewhere safe, either in storage, or within the property itself, you have the right to pass on any reasonable costs to him..... DO NOT THROW THEM OUT!! - This might leave you open to a claim. I would suggest that you box them up and write a list as you do so, just to ensure that you document everything carefully. you can then contact him in writing and offer him a deadline to remove his property.

[sushi-lover]

Thanks for your reply, yes your concern are my thoughts too

 

he has no claim on the property, its rented in my name. he didnt pay the bills or contribute to costs I supported him for the duration....partly because i am sick and partly my stupidity.

 

Re the children, they are not his.. they are 11, 13, and 15....their father would go beserk at the thought that he had their possessions. they are ambivulent to the situation tbh..he was in their lives for 4 years,and has let them down they have a father who they love and who has a good relationship with them...that at least works well

 

shouldnt he just return their items? i have sent him money to do so there is no family member, we are alone..their father would just add more trouble to the list

 

his stuff is boxed and locked in my shed, the valuables in the house.

i read that landlords can claim that possessions are abandoned after a certain time...

I gave him a deadline of a month...that has now passed

 

how can I return it if he wont communicate? or collect

i darent pay out for more costs eg storage, he wont pay me pack which was why I was wondering if I could apply to the courts for costs and to get back my girls things

[spamheed]

Given that he has no claim on the property, and the children are not his, I would suggest writing to him as stated above, and even though you have allowed him enough time, provide him with a clear deadline to collect his goods. Do not spend any more of your own money on this.

 

If he has not collected the goods by the time allowed then dispose of them as you see fit.

 

As for the kids, I'm sorry, I (wrongly) assumed they were his, obviously they do not need to be travelling anywhere for any reason. He borrowed the items, he should be made to return them, or compensate your daughters for their loss(es)

 

You could bring a claim in county court for the return of your daughters goods, for an order either to provide a formal deadline, or for the disposal of the goods in lieu of payment or storage

[sushi-lover]

Spamheed

Thankyou very very much ...sometimes i wonder if I am unfair, but now I feel better

do you know the court forms I might need?

 

PS. he didnt "borrow" the items, rather took them when he left, along with the key...rather bizarre behaviour the more I think about it.

[ashmk]

I would write to him giving a fair amount of time to remove his items and after that you will consider them to be abandoned and dispose of them yourself.

After the time passes ebay it all and buy your daughters replacments of whatever he has stole because that is what it is. Theft.

I'm sure you will be able to do this to the bike too but do not know exactly what you will need to do.

 

Send the letter recorded and keep a copy just in case.

[spamheed]

as ashmk says you could sell the goods and use the cash to replace your daughters property, but whilst this would remove the court option, it might open up another can of worms.

 

When I left and subsequently divorced my ex, I was sued for possession of the family photographs and negatives and even for custody of a large stuffed gorilla and a bag of the dogs cuddly toys, I had my former son in law and father in law try their hand at intimidation and physical assault and then she even had three of her workmates attack me at my evening workplace in an attempt at revenge (I kid you not) so there isn't much to surprise me in this department.

 

Since your ex took the items rather than borrowing them and without the permission of the owners at that, I would class this as "theft" and this changes the rules completely

 

1. I would hold off on the court activity for the moment, send the letter as advised, make it recorded or registered if funds allow it, retain copies of proof of posting and obtain proof of delivery (via the Royal Mail website)

 

2. Offer him say 60 days (I know it is very generous) to arrange to collect his property or arrange to have it removed

 

3. Or else it will be disposed of (sold to replace the items unlawfully removed from your home).

 

4. send him a letter every 7 days reminding him of the deadline and also that he needs to return your daughters property as it was taken without their consent. Retain copies of letters sent, poofs of posting and proofs of delivery

 

5. If he fails to remove his property then sell it.

 

6. remove the motorcycle fr5om your property and place it in the street and then report the motorcycle as abandoned, let the police and DVLA deal with this.

 

7. replace your daughters property and then inform their father of the matters occuring (just in case)

 

8. have a good life

 

 

If he complains after the event, produce the reams of evidence demonstrating the chances offered to him and not taken up by him and then watch him squirm

[sushi-lover]

Spamheed, once again some positive comments and suggestions ...thankyou

and for your advice through experience, it is v valuable...im sory you went through that at the hands of your ex

 

ashmk, thanks for the thought, re ebay and believe me I have...however I dont have a logbook for the motorbike and i have no idea whether the thing is legal so putting it on the street is a very good idea.

 

I dont like the idea of reducing myself to his level to make him feel or look better...as i said hes accused me of harassment already, and threatening to open a can of worms re a paper trail...we lived together when i was very sick and i didnt declare it you see. he was my carer..

i will run that risk Im afraid, i want to make my life right now.

 

im hoping if i do things properly and legally with or without court he will get the message...he has the impression I dont want it over.

 

I even thinking of paying a solicitor now to write me a letter so he knows I mean business

[spamheed]

sushi - it is entirely down to you how vindictive or not you decide to be. Paysomeone to reiterate your intent but only if you think it necessary

 

Personally, I really wouldn't waste any uncalled for effort or expense, write to him yourself without airs or graces

 

Protect the kids, look after yourself, see him off and get on with your own lives, saving as much money as you can:-)

 

Tomorrow is Wednesday, the day after is Thursday and your ex is what he is

 

Wednesday and Thursday and every day after is better for his absence if you are happy without him

 

Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us. -- Thomas L. Holdcroft

 

Have a good life

[sushi-lover]

Thankyou, once again

wise words.... yes it helped

Sushi