Advice neeeded.

[kistell]

Okay to cut a long story short.

I have been working in my current company for 8 years and have been in my current role for 3 years.

 

Over the last 5 months my manager has become very dismissive of the things i do,

Im very good at my job and im highly thought of by alot of the staff,

I do have a tendancy to always speak my mind and it does not always go down well

 

any way the releationship between my self and my manager has been going down hill for a while now.

This morning i had crossed words with another member of staff, they aproached me with a problem and when i sorted it they just wanted to argue about it , saying it was not a resonable solution.

 

Any way i decided to see my manager and explain the situation to them, he told me that he heard me and that i "should stop having ago at staff"

Well i asked him to explain him self and give me an example? the reply was well "you did it just then"

his tone was very agressive and the body language said it all, in the end we ended up arguing over it as i said he should not take sides and should get the facts first before acusing me.

 

I left his office to cool down and he followed me in to the main office and contined to argue in front of all the staff, in the end i walked off.

 

Later in the afternoon i had to see him about work again, he said to me that we need to talk " formaly or informaly it was my desition"

i told him i dont really care i was just sick of him being on my case and harassing me.

To that he kicked off again, i told him i was not arguing again and walked out.

He followed me back to my desk and started demanding "i am you manager get back in there now" i asked him 6 times to leave me alone as i did not want to argue and wanted to calm down, he refused and we argued again.

 

just before i left i was informed he was raising an offical disaplinary against me for conduct.

 

Now is it possible for a manager who is part of a dispute to raise a disaplinary?

To me this is an abuse of power and the fact he consantly refused to leave me alone and harrased me when i tried to walk away.

I feel that being the one blamed when he is clearly just as much to blame if not more so is highly unfair.

 

thanks for reading such a long thread .

[papasmurf1cx]

Can't see you have much of a leg to stand on. If he has superiority over you, which is apparent from what you say, then he has the right to direct you at work. He has a duty to ensure that company policy is enacted and if he thnks you have broken that then he is in his right to raise a diciplinary hearing.

 

if you think that he has abused his power then you have the option to raise a grievance and for the matter to be investigated by even more senior managers. I have to say that complaining about senior management normally does not go well for the complainer.

 

Sounds like a toxic environment to work in.

 

ACAS can give you more specific advice and you can give more detail to them for a clearer picture to come out.

[honeybee13]

Hello and thank you for joining the forum. Sorry to hear about your hassle.

 

Sadly in my experience of working life, saying exactly what you think, especially to higher management never gets you any thanks and can end up with this sort of problem.

 

Papasmurf has given you some good advice. I also think it could be an idea to lower your profile a little because of this disciplinary, or you will just be confirming what the manager's complaint is. As said, if you file a grievance of your own, it should go to an independent manager, but you will need evidence to back up what you're claiming, not just your version of events. Do you have anything in writing about all this?

 

I'm sure others will have ideas for you - sidewinder is very good at how to look contrite at a disciplinary, but I'd say the approach could be that in the heat of the moment you made an error of judgement, that you can see it's not the way to behave and that you're approaching things differently now. [if you can buy into that.]

 

Remember that a breakdown of trust between you, caused by your behaviour, could be a reason for the company taking this further. I'm sure you are good at your job, but employers very rarely think anyone is indispensible.

 

Sorry. I always try to side with a fellow cagger when I can, but we're here to speak the truth too.

 

HB x

[SarEl]

Yep. You probably aren't going to like this, but it sounds a bit like six of one and half a dozen of the other. So you "always speak your mind at work"? Well, it would appear that your manager is also "speaking his mind" - he would like you to adopt a different attitude towards your work colleagues, and stop talking back to him when he directs you in your work or behaviour at work; and if you do not do so he is going to make the matter formal - which he has every right to do as your manager. This is not a "dispute" - you have been asked to amend the way that you are behaving towards others and you do not appear to have indicated that you will take it on board, so you have ended up arguing with your boss.

 

This isn't about taking one side or another - it is about the realities of work. As honeybee says, no matter how long you have been there and no matter how good you are at your job, nobody is indispensible. There are always two sides to every story, and if the relationship with your manager is going downhill, then it is equally up to you to look at what you can do to improve matters, and what you might be contributing to the story. No matter how you view it, there are other interpretations that can be put on this - and will be if you don't make an effort to resolve this. It takes two to tango, and walking out on your manager is never a good idea.

[jackieandwayne]

And I'll tell you something else - if this guy is really harassing you and wanting to deliberately prod you until you snap (because he has observed you and knows what you are like) then if you bite your tongue, take a deep breath, and NEVER under any circumstances retaliate - oh boy will you make him hopping mad when he cannot get a reaction.

 

If you ever feel the need to get away because he is making you angry, then say "please excuse me, I need to take a break from this as I have no wish for us to clash again" then go and calm down. And ensure other members of staff hear your reasonable way of dealing with a heated situation.

 

On the other hand, Have you thought he might actually feel threatened by you? Long serving popular member of staff versus newish manager. Think - every time he wants to make a change, is he having to think how you will react? Try and think outside the box - and its always well to keep your enemies close to you - just in case he turns out to be an enemy!

[Sidewinder]

Best bet for now is to seek a meeting with the manager concerned and to offer to work together in harmony rather than to be fighting in different directions. Coolly and calmly explain what you believe to be the issue, and offer to accept whatever direction and constructive criticism is on offer in order to improve your relationship.

 

There is some good advice above, which I have to agree with. Whilst on the face of it you may feel that you have a case to raise a grievance for bullying, there might equally be an opinion on the employer's side that your effectiveness as a leader might be questionable. Directness and speaking your mind might well be honourable qualities in some respects, but so too are diplomacy, tact and the ability to act under presssure. Walking away from a manager and a seeming unwillingness to take criticism, however poorly this may have been directed, are not the best demonstration of your abilities.

 

An olive branch and an offer to wipe the slate and start again may be your wisest course of action at this stage.

[honeybee13]

Hello Sidewinder. I knew you'd put it much better than I could.

 

Kistell, what do you think now?

 

HB

Edited October 13, 2010 by honeybee13
Very sorry, wrong cagger name.