The Internet and Stalkers

[understanding]

Stalkers are becoming a real issue; there are some vicious people out there. Now, slowly, cyber laws are coming into line with dealing with this problem e.g. facebook.

 

As this article from The Guardian about cyber-stalkers:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/sep/23/cps-prosecute-online-stalking

 

and this from BBC about facebook:

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/sep/23/cps-prosecute-online-stalking

 

show.

 

So I thought I’d check what help is available and came across some sites which might prove useful:

 

http://www.thesite.org/homelawandmoney/law/victims/dealingwithstalkers

 

and this for the UK Network for surviving stalking –

 

http://www.nss.org.uk which is a registered charity dedicated to support those affected by stalking.

 

For those worried about cyber activity, check your computer for any Trojan/virus that might be allowing the stalker to follow your movements. Norton does a free online scan of the pc which I have found helpful in the past and the link is here:

 

http://security.symantec.com/sscv6/WelcomePage.asp

 

and follow the link to symantec security check.

 

Don’t let them win by falling into the trap and doing something rash. They are the weak ones because they do not have the courage to come out into the open – so let them remain the wimps while you remain honest and strong.

 

I hope this is helpful.

[Guest Cartaphilus]

Stalkers are becoming a real issue; there are some vicious people out there. Now, slowly, cyber laws are coming into line with dealing with this problem e.g. facebook.

 

I know, I've had my eye on this for a while. I know only too well, far too well ... the level of nastiness this can all reach. And all for what, exactly? What is it that fascinates these people, is the getting off on the torment they can cause to people? Because they can do it? It was too late when it happened to me, but ... I know I am not alone in it. At the time I thought it was only me he went after, then I found out later it wasn't. It was truly dreadful what I was told he'd done. I now know more about he - and it's a few of them I have been told, he's got 'proteges' I've been told, I suppose it's like any serial thing ... he impresses people, gets them do what he does, thinking the whole time ... Because the one doing it to me at the time was a serial stalker. Finding that out, of course, months later. I've done a lot of checks, but I can't find anything yet I know somehow or other he's been doing it. But I know it can be done. I know he's hacked things before now, usually MSN accounts, so you didn't know it was him, he's even gone to the extent of posting those (after modiying them to his advantage) online somewhere. Quite why is anyone's guess. He has his own agenda, but it's a very frightening one. Stuff I've posted in private has even made it's way on line for example. Friday night I had a bizarre message in a messenger account, which I have now shut down because it was from someone I don't know, it's never happened before and I felt it was safe do that, in case it was them again.

 

Case in point, I sometimes visit a non-UK site, I won't say where. But the amount of times someone would pop up in there who lived locally to me (and it's not a site you can just 'find' without knowing it's there) would be posting, often up to around 4 at once ... Happened several times, and enough for me to know/realize that it wasn't random. It was too close for comfort shall we say to where I live and it would usually be a random town they'd pick locally to me to say they were from. They would also only be there when I was, I would log in, then they'd pop up usually within five minutes or so of me doing that. At the time I felt it was someone trying to trace me, but then it got more specific, more direct ... certainly using the name of a town that is within miles of me for starters, it make me think very seriously about what was going on and whether or not it was the same person who had done this to me before.

 

It is high time it was taken seriously, because I have read of some truly awful cases, mostly to much younger people. When I tried to go to the police before, those years ago to report it I expected to be taken a bit more seriously because of the sheer level of what was going on it was at the very least ID theft and abuse of my personal data, in fact most of what he'd done would or you'd think have been imprisonable for. He seemed perfectly safe in the knowledge no one could or would stop him. Being even so brazen one day to also admit to me on another forum, where he uses a fake profile (yet everyone on there knows who it is and ignores him; they won't ban him because they are too fearful of the repercussions ie he will get nasty with someone) why he had done it to me. Because, as he said 'I was an easy target'.

 

In the meantime, I have been told by a close friend of how he's destroyed the life of someone who was having marital problems, to the extent she won't come online anymore and has become a very very nervous person because of it. He also made much of the health problems she had at the time in order to further get at her.

 

I will be open about it and it also helps to talk about it. In fact, it also helps to. I don't want to be afraid but I know the level he has gone to before but also because I know how dangerous he can get. Such as finding out where someone works, phoning up their workplace and trying to lose that person their job. I mean, why? Is it because he does find it easy, but even then it's no excuse. Is it? Really?

[understanding]

I’m sorry to hear about what you are going through, Cartaphilus. As to why people do things is anyone’s guess.

 

Maybe something on the sites I posted will be of some help to you, there are thousands of victims and each of their stories make me wonder why the law has not addressed the situation sooner.

 

 

Never be afraid of someone who hides 'in' the internet and who sneaks in the darkness of anonymity, they are the feeble ones, don’t forget that.

[Guest Cartaphilus]

The only problem I am having much recently (asides from worrying over debts, DCAs, which I can pretty much cope with, and have for a while, but also now health I am worrying over if I will be here this time next year, but I also don't know whether or not I want to, health I don't actually care about anymore, just something that life brings, as you grow older ... it's demoralised me you see very badly) is that this now appears (and I was waiting for it, it was going to eventually and I knew it would do) is it's now spilled offline into every day life. Let's just say in the last four months, I've some and been made aware of it, it's caused an immense amount of trouble, damage to things. I mean, I am nobody in life when said and done but someone is determined to do this.

 

Because I've tried to make sense of it as I did at the time it started, but you can't really because like most harassment it's unseen, you can't see the pepetrators. Two years it took me to try to move past all of it. But when it did, I was so shocked by it, where and what it was all about, he even got stuff that's not even anywhere in the public domain. That's how bad it got.

 

But, like I said, I will talk openly about it now whereas previously I was too scared to do so.

 

But this time, because I have got more official involvement because of the criminal damage that was done, I might be able to do something about it and, once and for all, stop it. It's only early for the time being, and I have mentioned about all of the above, because it does help them to fit a profile and put the pieces together, and perhaps this time to track it back to the source.

Edited September 26, 2010 by Cartaphilus

[understanding]

I think it takes courage to talk openly about a situation like this, so kudos for having the courage to speak out and face it head on.

 

Perhaps motivation or the lack of it affects our health, when we feel down our bodies tend to react, don’t you find? Old aches and pains come to the fore and make us feel weary, useless and even wondering if life is worth it. But I bet your friends think your life is worth it and offer moral support, isn’t that what community is all about – offering each other moral support if nothing else?

 

 

the police have now stepped in?

Edited September 26, 2010 by understanding

[Guest Cartaphilus]

But I bet your friends think your life is worth it and offer moral support, isn’t that what community is all about – offering each other moral support if nothing else?

 

Yes. It's because of what's happened to me, not just this, why I want others to speak out because they should be heard and the wrongness behind it all stopped. It gives people courage also but also a strength. Something I find hard to do myself at times.

[understanding]

You seem pretty strong to me, Cartaphilus. You are holding your own in a terrible situation and showing the perpetrator that you are not afraid to speak about the despicable things done to you. That really does take courage so maybe you are unaware of your own strengths.

[Guest Cartaphilus]

You seem pretty strong to me, Cartaphilus.

Thank you, it means a lot. Yes, I can be but at other times not so much.

 

It did strain some friendships, those who knew what was going on but it was happening to me, and sometimes it's hard to understand if not directly affected by it. Especially when it reached a peak and ... Well I found myself somewhere, very alone and scared. If I hadn't been able to reach out to them, even if it was the end of the phone like it was daily, won't mention the telephone box costs () but I did come out the other side okay.

[Guest Cartaphilus]

the police have now stepped in?

With some of the criminal damage (that came about seemingly indirectly but then there were other instances of it in a row in a very short space of time, had to report it though I don't usually like to bother anyone with anything), yes, but with help from support in that direction I am very slowly getting round to mentioning all of it to them. I have found myself with the people I should have done those years ago, shall we say, who will take it seriously and will listen.

[understanding]

I wish I had friends like yours

 

The best thing we can do in life, I feel, is keep breathing and keep our nose above water no matter what is thrown at us. I have dealt with many, many things in my life and nothing really shocks me any more however I do feel sad when I learn of how people can be so vile for no apparent reason.

 

Keep strong and keep your friends close, Cartaphilus, they sound inspiring.

[Guest Cartaphilus]

It will take a while, though, but at least I can now confide in someone in this way unlike I was able to before. That I know this time there is someone there I can call, can tell about it, whereas I was pretty much thrown, didn't know who to turn to, nor even why it was happening. It's that, probably, more than anything that is the worse. You don't know what to do, because you can't see whose doing it.

[Guest Cartaphilus]

Keep strong and keep your friends close, Cartaphilus, they sound inspiring.

 

Well, I do try some inspiring myself I sometimes screw it up.

 

I have dealt with many, many things in my life and nothing really shocks me any more however I do feel sad when I learn of how people can be so vile for no apparent reason.

 

Same here. As one friend said to me 'don't ever change' because she was very worried this whole thing would change me. Nothing can really do that I suppose but it can shape whom you are in the time afterwards.

 

Understanding ... you maybe have more friends than you know.

[Guest Cartaphilus]

Still not used to the new site layout, so having to go back to the main page to find the thread if I look at another part of the forum. Only yesterday did I find out why I wasn't able to see the edit buttons properly ... because it was being scrunched down the middle ... turns out from reading a post here I had to click on the box at the right hand of the screen, on the arrows to widen it. Something very simple, but something I often miss, sometimes I miss the wood for the trees and vise versa.

[understanding]

With some of the criminal damage (that came about seemingly indirectly but then there were other instances of it in a row in a very short space of time, had to report it though I don't usually like to bother anyone with anything), yes, but with help from support in that direction I am very slowly getting round to mentioning all of it to them. I have found myself with the people I should have done those years ago, shall we say, who will take it seriously and will listen.

 

 

Well at least they are now taking it on board. Sometimes the police can be useless, I think, in situations that appear to be resolvable with a little effort on their behalf.

 

I have met a few good policemen in my time, one of them, a police inspector made an impact simply because he didn’t view me as less than a human being. I eventually made a path for a judicial review and I think it is due largely to that one policeman treating me like a human being. It is not often I find kindnesses however whenever I do, I am thankful to be alive and appreciate this side to humanity, I think there must be millions of good people who remain silent, persevering, trying to make sense of what is thrown at them. Maybe it is karma or something but all I know is that seeing a smile, hearing a friendly voice makes all the difference.

[understanding]

Understanding ... you maybe have more friends than you know.

 

I tend to live like a hermit these days, found this site due to getting angry enough to want to fight an unfair court summons.

[understanding]

sometimes I miss the wood for the trees and vise versa.

 

heh, heh, same here.

[Guest Cartaphilus]

Yes, seeing the human side is often a very vital step towards understanding a problem. A smille, as you say, can make an infinite amount of difference to someone, depends on where they are in life.

[Guest Cartaphilus]

I tend to live like a hermit these days,

 

Actually, that's something I've wanted to do at times. Run off, leave it all behind. I know perhaps later on in life I may do it. Just not there yet. The time has to be right, and I have to feel it right as well.

[understanding]

[understanding]

Actually, that's something I've wanted to do at times. Run off, leave it all behind. I know perhaps later on in life I may do it. Just not there yet. The time has to be right, and I have to feel it right as well.

 

I haven't really left, just maybe given up a little as I don’t venture out much. Nothing worth viewing outside apart from some glorious colours as Lady Autumn pays a visit.

[SOD'EM]

Thanks for all that info.

 

You 2 have been busy typing over the last hour or so:-D.

 

Just one thing about the first post though (nothing to do with Cyberstalking). Although Norton will do a free scan for you, you will inevitably end up paying for it if there is anything whatsoever untowards. I suggest Using Malware Bytes (free) as a Virus detector and removal and either Avast (free) or Microsoft Security Essentials (free) as your real time protection. Or both if your system can handle it. I only have 2GB Ram and I have them running simutaneously with no problems.

 

I advise anyone (and other people more tech savvy than me do the same) to get rid of Norton as it is a memory muncher and slows your sytem down considerably, and install one of the many free (and better) Anti Virus Programs available (like the 2 mentioned above).

[Guest Cartaphilus]

You have cheered me up tonight, thank you. I think everyone often needs it sometimes, to help them get through to tomorrow, the day after. Sometimes I forget my human side, well not 'forget' forget but sometimes. Compassions a very important commodity in life. Priceless, even. And if not for my phone 'dinging' to let me know I had a new post to read on here, I wouldn't have found the post again.

[Guest Cartaphilus]

You 2 have been busy typing over the last hour or so:-D.

 

Yeah, um, sorry, I knew I had been. Chatting away. lol

[Guest Cartaphilus]

Think mine needs an upgrade ... its 1 GB. Yes, Norton is a system eater. Sometimes I also do a netstat run to look for certain things as well.

[SOD'EM]

It is a very serious matter, and I am glad it's been brought up on CAG. I'm sure there will be many more subscribers to this thread. It's better than reading a book (and twice as long).