Child Sex Education by Peodophiles v Child Financial Education by bankers - which is worse?

[banker_rhymes_with]

Thankfully, one of the above will never happen.

 

However, the other is happening:

 

For Schools - NatWest MoneySense

 

Do you want a banker in the classroom with your children explaining how fun and funky Debt is?

 

BBC NatWest Guidance Not Impartial

 

BBC Have Your Say - bank Advice

 

The banks are the last people on this planet who should be allowed anywhere near our children to brain wash them into becoming future Debt Slaves.

 

The banks are wholly incapable of running banks efficiently, so are manifestly unqualified to give anyone lessons in finance and budgeting.

 

The banks should not be allowed access to our Schools to infect Children with their manipulative Debt Industry propaganda and blatant bank branding and self-promotion.

 

What Children Need:

 

A sound basic education in Maths, so they can at least stand a chance of understanding the basic figures.

 

Wholly independent lessons in Money Management and basic Budgeting.

 

Wholly independent lessons in understanding the pitfalls of Debt, and how it is essential to limit Debt to the absolute minimum and, when it cannot be avoided, how to select the cheapest Debt possible.

 

Wholly independent lessons to understand the true costs of Debt in all of its various forms from: Overdrafts, to Credit Cards, to Loans, to HP and to less obvious Debt such as Interest Free Finance that is no such thing, and all the unnecessary insurances and other financial products that have little real value or benefit.

 

Anyone employed by a bank is incapable of giving such advice, and should be shown the School gates on their way out.

 

Spread the word, and keep bankers and other Debt Industry pedlars of Debt out of our Schools.

 

Cheers,

BRW

[GuidoT]

Exactly what I thought when I saw it on the TV.

 

Banks have a proven record of mismanaging our / their money why let them near children.

[sillygirl1]

I thought the same too - its almost advertising their OWN services to vulnerable young adults who don't have the sense to know otherwise.

 

Isn't it the Jesuits who say 'get a child before they are 7 and they are yours for life....' or words to that effect.

 

A bunch of bungling idiots trying to get another bunch of idiots onboard is a recipe for complete moral disaster.

[ScarletPimpernel]

 

Isn't it the Jesuits who say 'get a child before they are 7 and they are yours for life....' or words to that effect.

 

 

"Give me a boy until the age of 7 and I'll give you the man" is usually attributed to the unsavoury Jesuits.

 

The comparison of bankers to the Papist church is quite a good one - both have a thin historical veneer of respectability, both are actually corrupt and dedicated to their own self-preservation, and both exploit vulnerable young people from a position of trust.

 

I wonder if any of the teachers allowing bankers into schools are the same ones who discourage the police and armed forces from visiting.

 

Anyway, teaching children about finance is somewhat premature; most of those I see have clearly yet to conquer the basics of respect, good manners and tucking their fecking shirts in.

 

I once considered teaching as a career, but gave it up after I discovered that thrashing errant youths is apparently no longer allowed (less the Christian Brothers, probably).

[banker_rhymes_with]

The Big Day - NastyBank Lesson One

=========================

 

The two NastyBank employees, Mrs Fiat-Money and Miss Stagflation set up shop in Classroom 9b, ready for the first Class of children. The ladies were glowing, having worked hard to put up the £4,000 NastyBank Presentation Stand, the 37x NastyBank Posters, and the £2,000 blue and red NastyBank Corporate Carpet now running the full length of the Classroom to draw the eye to the main focus of the arrangement, namely the £9,000 Portable NastyBank LED illuminated sign at the head of the Classroom.

 

The NastyBank ladies then activated the NastyBank Corporate anthem ("Amazing banking for the masses" extended version), to welcome the first batch of Children to their desks. It was going well, so far, and was achieving the desired effect to encourage a worshipful respect for the NastyBank Presentation to come.

 

Class II entered, wide-eyed, led in by their even more wide-eyed Teacher, Miss Gullible.

 

The Children were directed to their desks, where each found a NastyBank welcoming pack, complete with a NastyBank Pen, a NastyBank Piggy Bank, and Portfolio of Young NastyBank Financial Products (NastyBank SuperSaver Overdraft Charges Tracker Wallchart and Corporate Brochures for the new NastyBank Younglings Credit Card with Hamster Logo, the NastyBank Younglings Bank Account with Sammy Snake Logo, the NastyBank Younglings Toy Insurance Scheme, the NastyBank Younglings Pedal Bike Accident and Theft Cover Insurance Policy and, finally, the NastyBank bedtime cartoon DVD featuring Mr Chubby the NastyBank bank Manager, Mr Multiplier the NastyBank Debt Expert, Rupert the Bonus who works in the City, stupid Eric the Debt Slave and Basil the evil Rougue Debtor that tries and fails to evade his financial responsibilities).

 

The Presentation begins...

 

Mrs Fiat-Money: Good morning NastyBank Younglings!

 

No response.

 

Mrs Fiat-Money: Today, Miss Stagflation and I will tell you all about the lovely bank we work for, NastyBank (Global Domination) plc "amazing banking for the masses."

 

Little Timmy: Why have you made our classroom look like a Church?

 

Miss Gullible: Now, now, Timmy, let the nice Lady speak and tell you all about their lovely bank.

 

Little Wendy: My Daddy is a Doctor. He's really clever. He says bankers are W-Anchors. Are you two a pair of W-Anchors? Or is only one of you a W-Anchor. What's the other one then if only one of you is a W-Anchor...

 

Little Ben: Wot's a W-Anchor?

 

Little Jamie: It's something really nasty, my Mum yells "W-Anchor" whenever my Dad does a windy in the kitchen...I think it's something smelly, like poo. I wouldn't want my Pocket money to smell like poo, that wouldn't be very nice...

 

Miss Gullible: Children, please be quiet! You must not use that word Wendy, I've told you about that before, your Mummy promised the Headmaster that she would not use that word in front of you ever again.

 

Miss Stagflation: Good morning NastyBank Younglings!

 

No response.

 

Miss Stagflation: I'm the other half of Today's NastyBank Team who will tell you all about the yummy financial products you can look forward to when you sign up to our bank (holds up a NastyBank Poster)...

 

Little Billy: Yummy? As in Wendy's Mum? My Dad says he think's Wendy's Mummy is Yummy and well worth a sha...

 

Miss Gullible: Billy! That's enough. I've told you before you must not repeat what your Daddy the Builder says about the other Mummies. Please be quiet.

 

Little Timmy: Is banking based on Fairy Stories? You've made our Classroom look like a Church. My Dad says Churches are all based on Pixies at the bottom of the Garden. Does your bank have Pixies?

 

Mrs Fiat-Money: Children, aren't we having fun! But we must get on with our NastyBank presentation, or we'll run out of time and the School will have to pay a big bill if we go over our allotted time without authorisation. And you would not want the School to have a big bill, would you children...

 

Miss Gullible: [thinks...WTF? I thought this was free?]

 

Miss Stagflation: OK Chidren, let's talk about money and all the wonderful things money can buy if you come to our lovely bank to borrow it from us (holds up a large NastyBank Loans-R-Good placard)...

 

Little Karl: Are you a dull? And Greedy? My Dad says all bankers are dull and greedy, and he'd like to see them all turned into soap. How many bankers does it take to make a bar of soap? I hate soap, Mum makes me wash with soap all the time, but I sometimes like orange soap if it's the one that smells of Mangos. My Sister prefers yellow soap, provided it smells of lemon, my Mum prefers...

 

Mrs Fiat-Money: Little boy, I'd love to talk about soap, but it's a teeny weeny bit off the presentation, and I just know you would all like to hear about Mr Multiplier the NastyBank Debt Expert and his magic Money Box?

 

Little Timmy: Is the DVD a Fairy Story? My Mum says her bank charges are fure fiction. She uses the W-Anchor word a lot when she gets her bank statements. I think from what my best mate Jamie says, that means anything you send us must smell like Poo. That's nasty, and I'm going to tell my Mum you are trying to pedal poo to us...

 

Miss Stagflation: Children, Children...let's talk about the magic NastyBank Web Site. Have you all been on the Internet to see Web Sites? At NastyBank we have a really special Pay-Per-Click Web Site, it's in our special NastyBank colours, and it's a magic place full of promise and wonder...

 

Little Ben: Is that like my Mum's favourite Web Site?

 

Miss Stagflation: I'm not sure, which Web Site does your Mummy visit?

 

Little Ben: It's called CAG.

 

Miss Stagflation: [thinks...oh cock!]

 

Little Timmy: My Mum's visits CAG, she says all her friends on CAG say banks are vermin. She says CAG helps to eradicate vermin. It's really good at it, apparently.

 

Little Jamie: My Dad thinks CAG is the best thing since sliced bread. I trust my Dad. My Dad says never trust a banker. Why should we visit your Web Site if it costs me Pocket Money and smells like poo?

 

Little Wendy: My older Brother likes CAG, he says it's saved him far more money than any bank ever did, and it's free. Is your Web Site free? I thought you said it was Pay-per-Click, that's not Free is it, not if you have to pay per click, that'll be expensive, especially if it's like the Web Site my Dad visits when Mummy is at Yoga, the one I'm not supposed to tell Mummy about, that isn't free either.

 

Mrs Fiat-Money: [thinks...I think we should be leaving!]

 

Miss Gullible: [thinks...I'm changing banks straight after School, after I've kicked out this pair of NastyBank W******!]

 

===============

 

CAG Quiz:

 

(1) See how many times you can spot the word NastyBank in the above Fairy Story?

 

(2) Is this what you want in the Classroom?

[ScarletPimpernel]

Don't forget that other dreadful bank ad - the one with the two patronising simpletons in a van. The message is apparently: 'we've closed lots of small branches in rural areas with poor public transport to concentrate on cities with big branches full of machines, but aren't you plebs lucky - a van will come round once a week - you lot don't know when you're well off, etc. etc....'

 

..and another thing, that NatWest ad with the simpering woman remarking that the baby 'isn't enjoying our mortgage interview, is she?'. The baby is probably the most sensible person there; listening to the bank's drivel, she has fallen asleep, having shat herself upon hearing the interest rate.

[citizenB]

I think a lot of the "local" banks are sponsoring the sports days of schools.. perhaps that is how they manage to get a foot in the door

 

I will check which bank is sponsoring our local grammar when I next pass by.

[danielr]

makes me think of two words.

 

Chocolate Cigarettes.

[Bookworm]

"Give me a boy until the age of 7 and I'll give you the man" is usually attributed to the unsavoury Jesuits.

And it was child psychologist Fitzhugh Dodson who famously extolled the theory that a child's future behaviours and potentials are set by the time they are 6 years old.

 

Smart (by which read "horrific") move by NWB.

Next in the series: "Why you should always believe a DCA when they tell you you owe the money" and "Private Parking Companies are legitimate" and "RLP DO have the right to hound you for money". Oh, and of course, let's not forget "the DWP and ATOS are only interested in your own good, not in saving money".

 

What's the good of banning cigarette ads on F1 cars if we let this even more insidious marketing crap inside our schools?