Help !!

[mushroom in the dark]

Hi, I am new to this site as stumbled across it while desperately looking for some advice on what to do regarding a situation that is litterally 'doing my head in ' at work. I have been with a well known DIY company for 2 years now when they opened a new store. I started part-time stacking shelves but ended up after 9 months being promoted to supervisor. I loved my job, it was a real pleasure to go to work, we had a great store manager and a close management team, my views counted and I felt valued.

 

It all changed at Christmas when the store manager moved on and our new manager who was also new to the business arrived. At the same time we lost 10 people through down sizing, including 2 people from my team. We restructured and like most company's got on with it.

 

But this managers inadequecy soon showed, his lack of understanding or williness to listen meant my department was under pressure to get 100% put away of stock, I went to him and voiced my worries around avalability on the shelf and the fact there was so much stock in the yard we would have to turn away a delivery for the first time ever. He didn't listen, we were physically and mentally tired and frustrated. I ended up signed off work with depression.

 

On returning I asked for more communication and support, I was on a rollercoaster ride with my emotions, I got neither and ended up having anxiety attacks at moments of frustration. I was told that my behavour was 'unprofessional' as I was having these attacks in front of my team. I explained that I could not help it, it was the depression and I just wanted some support.

 

Then he demanded a change in working hours, finishing an hour later at 11pm, we agreed though we weren't happy. The first day of this new shift he took away my only other fulltimer and main forklifter to support another department, the first thing I knew was when he told the whole team, I could not respond. I had another attack in frustration. He promised support, it did not arrive, I questioned this he said I was taking him too litterally and being un professional.

 

I ended up taking another day off because I was so down. I went back and again at my return to work interview stated I needed support.

 

The manager has now called another meeting and stated that he believes I am not fit to do my job because of my behavours. I explained this was down to my depression and the stress and frustration I feel I'm under because of lack of understanding and support. He says that it still is not acceptable. I am still able to do my job and lead my team physically, though with one man down still we are tired and when the tiredness creeps in I do get stressed. I have a meeting with him next Tuesday when he says he will make a decision one way or other. Help.....I am so down and worried I don't know what to do.

Edited June 12, 2010 by mushroom in the dark

[honeybee13]

Hello there and welcome to CAG.

 

First of all, try to relax, you've come to a good place. I'm so sorry you're going through all this, it sounds horrendous to me, and especially after you've been off work with depression, stress etc.

 

Is this manager playing it by the book, do you think? With any company, especially a large one, there should be procedures laid down in your employee handbook, for instance. Do you have a copy at all?

 

Do you have an HR department and have they been involved?

 

I think you have so many questions that your post will take some dissecting and I was about to sign off for the night when I saw it.

 

There aren't many employment people around this evening, could be they like football, but people should be around soon.

 

I don't know if you like doing your own research, but you could have a look at the ACAS and directgov websites, because they have a lot of information on employment problems.

 

Could I ask one other thing please, because I'm not in the first flush of youth? I don't know about other caggers on the forum . Is there any chance you could edit your post into a few paragraphs so it's easier to read please? I've done my best tonight, but it's hard to concentrate when it's just solid text. If you look at the bottom right hand corner of your post, you have the edit button.

 

HB x

[Ell-enn]

Hi there, I'm sorry to hear you are having this problem at work, it's completely unacceptable and your manager should be dealing with the situation much better than he is - he is aware of you're suffering stress and should not be adding to it.

 

When you say he will make a decision at your next meeting - what decision does he think he can make? Do you have an HR department and a copy of the company policies ? (they're usually contained within the company handbook if there is one).

[mushroom in the dark]

Hi, thanks for your kind wishes. Yes my HR is involved and although she is supposed to remain impartial she seems to be taking his side and her attitude to me has changed.

 

I have an old copy of the company handbook, but it has been updated so I need to get hold of a new one.

 

Just waiting to see if anything happens tomorrow and ultimately my meeting on Tuesday.

[zazen.warrior]

Post removed.

Edited July 29, 2010 by zazen.warrior

[Ell-enn]

Zazen, I'm glad to see you qualified your statement with the "average" HR person. As an HR manager in a large manufacturing company I can assure you I am not a management tool and will support any employee who is quite clearly not being treated fairly. It doesn't always go down well with the management, but that's the way I work! Please don't tar us all with the same brush.

[Sidewinder]

Hmmm

[soniczed]

In my experience. HR are people are a special people, without integrity and paid to support the management, notes of meetings biase, inaccurate - where it suits the management. I would never trust a HR person and do not know how some of them can sleep at night.

[Sidewinder]

In my experience. HR are people are a special people, without integrity and paid to support the management, notes of meetings biase, inaccurate - where it suits the management. I would never trust a HR person and do not know how some of them can sleep at night.

 

Then it is a little rich to come to an employment forum and ask for help from such untrustworthy people about problems you are having at work n'est pas? Many of them can't sleep at night because they are helping on here, possibly?

 

At least you qualified your opinion with "...in my experience...", perhaps that experience has been limited to rogues so far....

 

A good HR person, although yes, they are paid by the employer, is recruited not to always side with the management, but in fact to challenge them. A poor company with poor HR will always face unecessary costs and poor productivity. The HR role is far more to do with developing correct procedures and a good workplace in order to avoid many of the issues which we see here all too often.

 

Edited June 14, 2010 by Sidewinder

[esjay]

OUCH!

I stumbled across this site on Friday and have been back and forth ever since. The advice and comments given are extremely valuable and interesting however; as an HR Manager I feel I must defend our profession and support Ell-enn!

 

HR Managers (should) work hard to prevent the issue below ever happening and whilst we work hard to facilitate the Company’s need this is done by ensuring all employees are treated fairly and procedures are in place and then followed!

 

soniczed & zazen.warrior; you have obviously had bad experiences... my meetings (with permission) are recorded with a disc being handed over with the typed up copy. They are never released until all parties have signed them, no I would not be able to sleep at night if I had falsified them...

[honeybee13]

Hello esjay, nice to see you and welcome. You, Ell-enn and Sidewinder sound like lovely caring professionals.

 

I hope I can see both sides of the debate here. I've worked in companies where HR were impartial and professional for the majority of my working life. However, when I was being bullied, HR were either being bullied themselves or colluding with the culture. Whenever I tried to enlist the help of HR, my query went straight back to my line manager, the bully, so I had no way out.

 

My OH and I have a couple of friends who have experienced similar problems. I don't mean to say that all HR people are bad, far from it, but sadly the profession does have mavericks in it and some of us suffer because of that.

 

HB

Edited June 14, 2010 by honeybee13
typo

[esjay]

Hi Honeybee!

Of course I can see both sides of the debate.... I am HR! .

 

Thank you for your welcome, and thank you to all on here that have given me another source of valuble information to which I hope I can add at some point.

S-J

[jackieandwayne]

Mushroom in the dark, also start thinking about why you have become ill, and who has caused your illness. Whilst you are still in the workplace discreetly gather together all paperwork that you can regarding all the times you have asked for help. Get your hands on anything at all.

 

And then go and tell your doctor you fear you have suffered some sort of psychiatric injury (write down what has happened and what your symptoms are - this is useful for your GP) and get yourself signed off.

 

Please stop saying you are depressed - better by far to be suffering from work related stress! Trust me.

 

I hope you get this sorted out quickly, but my advice is for you in case it goes the other way!

[mushroom in the dark]

Thanks for the advice guys, I really didn't mean to open a can of worms were HR s are concerned!! Had my meeting on Tuesday and it really was a bit of a non-event. Managers attitude has totally changed, I thought my god has the penny finally dropped??

Was called to a 'First Steps' meeting yesterday out of the blue where I am now being accused of harassing and bullying a member of my team. I have now been suspended while they gather further evidence!!

Things just keep getting better...........................

[honeybee13]

Hi there, no harm in a lively debate! I hope we didn't clog up your thread too much.

 

Remind me what First Steps is please? Would it be some kind of back to work [bTW] thing?

 

Well, you need to start gathering evidence yourself. There are quite a few threads on here if you have time to read them, people with similar problems.

 

You need your employment contact, disciplinary procedures etc, then have a look at ACAS and directgov if you haven't already. Don't forget the ACAS helpline, if you want to talk it over.

 

Do you think your colleagues would be willing to help you, sign statements for example?

 

And before you go to this meeting, what paperwork are they going to provide you with, do you know?

 

HB

[zazen.warrior]

Post removed.

Edited July 29, 2010 by zazen.warrior

[honeybee13]

Good idea, zazen. Mushroom, some mobile phones will record. Don't ask permission though.

 

What do you think about this?

 

HB x

[zazen.warrior]

Post removed.

Edited July 29, 2010 by zazen.warrior

[dx_]

HR are not impartial they are there to facilitate whatever the employer wants to do; they are not neutral and they are not there for the employees.

 

If need be they will, lie, deceive, cheat and sign their name to complete works of fiction and call them minutes.

 

But to be forearmed with this information is an advantage of sorts, a lot of us did not realise until later how nasty and completely without morals the average HR person is.

I am so grateful for this post as this is the experience I have had, personally. And I have to say that this is precisely how the HR in my last company behaved after 7 long years working there.

 

I was the foolish few who believed that the HR is there for the common person who has shown nothing but commitment and achieved a lot of success for the company and who had done nothing wrong. But then comes an inexperienced manager, wanting to downsize and re-structure the area. This inexperienced manager lies, cheats and sacks staff. HR finally stepped in and also did all they could to

" ... lie, deceive, cheat and sign their name to complete works of fiction and call them minutes".

 

Ell-enn, all I can say is if only there were more HR pople like you. But the reality is, from my own experience, friends, stories etc, that there isn't. And another example is my BIL, who also found himself to be fazed out of his company because the HR listened to the manager who had it in for him rather then looking at the merits of the case.

 

 

mushroom in the dark, I am sorry to read that you have now been suspended. Let them do their investigation and in the meantime I know it's easier said then done but try not to worry. It looks like your manager has decided to get rid of you because you challenged him when he clearly doesn't know how to do his job. Keep strong and whatever the outcome, fight it all the way.

Edited June 18, 2010 by dx_

[zazen.warrior]

Post removed.

Edited July 29, 2010 by zazen.warrior

[dx_]

I have reached the stage where I actually feel quite sorry for those concerned because to behave like that they must have been extremely frightened of something themselves. :-|

Yes but how much sleep have they lost over it? My guess, none. ;-)