Fancy a laugh?

[JimmySpangle]

Here is the dilema. I recently bought a Corsa diesel with 89k on the clock. Full history, well almost. Was due a service.

 

Now, I always do my own servicing but as this car has a full history I wanted a Masterfit quickie service. Basically an oil and filter change and book stamped with the nice Griffin.

 

So, I ring my local Evans Halshaw Vauxhall Stealership. Can they do it? Yes. What will I get? Just oil syphoned out, new oil filter, new oil, one stamp in the book. Great, how much? £69.95 +Vat!

 

After I got back off the floor and contained my side splitting hysterics I said.... 'No, really.... how much'.

 

I do not see that I will be adding £70 to the value of the car (cost £2k and worth £2,750), so stuff them. Literally a 10 minute job and when I do it, the sump polug comes out to get all the crap out before adding nice new oil.

 

Having a laugh!

[Guest wino]

Stealership.

 

 

 

Just write a note with the day you did any work on the car and what it was. Keep it with your records.

[JimmySpangle]

Oh, I can do one better than that. A full print out from Autodata of the service carried out correctly - unlike when it goes off to Mr greasy spanners fun, bash and scratch factory.

[Guest wino]

[heliosuk]

Hey Jimmy,

 

When your service goes mamory up, do you write to yourself, phone TS and complain about yourself, threaten SOGA or blame the dog barking?

 

Seriously though, they make huge money on the oil which you can buy for a third if not less through a factor and the filter the same. And as regards syphoning it out.......well it's easier usually to drop the polug as you say.

[mazbck]

As an Ex Evans Halshaw employee in the accounts department of the local Renault dealership (now hanging head in shame)

 

When I was there 2 years ago, I know that EH charged out labour at £32.50 the hour!!!

 

The mechanics were paid £8.50 the hour (hubby was there at the same time)

 

I was embarrassed looking at some of the invoices from suppliers and knowing what the charged out to customers.

[Rooster-UK]

I hope you replaced the copper sump-plug washer at the same time.

[JimmySpangle]

LOL at some of the answers....

 

I do understand that the big stealers have very expensive showrooms and lots of staff, someone has to pay for thet - it just won't be me.

 

Yes, I do replace the sump washer. I have a pack of 20 I bought a year or so ago.

 

I buy the oil from vauxhall when they have their 4 for the price of 3 offer on. Works out at about £6 a gallon.

 

Lol at Helios. Yep, I write myself a stern letter. I am very methodical with my servicing. Brake fluid has just been replaced completely as dispite the fact that the car is 5 years old and has a full Vauxhall history, the brake fluid was still the original! You and I know 2 years max and change it.

 

Interestingly they have changed the cambelt - which is difficult on a 1.3 CDTi Vauxhall as they have a chain (not cambelt), and it is the original one still.

[heliosuk]

LOL at some of the answers....

 

Lol at Helios. Yep, I write myself a stern letter. I am very methodical with my servicing. Brake fluid has just been replaced completely as dispite the fact that the car is 5 years old and has a full Vauxhall history, the brake fluid was still the original! You and I know 2 years max and change it.

 

Interestingly they have changed the cambelt - which is difficult on a 1.3 CDTi Vauxhall as they have a chain (not cambelt), and it is the original one still.

 

Im getting very concerned about your servicing technique Jimmy!

 

For a start you probably used seat covers and floor mats, you probably delivered the job on time and to the price you quoted yourself, I doubt if you left the obligitory service signature of a greasy paw mark over the bonnet or wing and I doubt that you changed the radio frequency to Funky FM. Further you have not supplied an open ended list of totally unneccessary repairs needed which needs a mortgage to fix. To compound it, you did not take the car for a blast past a school at 70mph to get yourself a speeding ticket three months after the event and you probably recorded what you had done in the service book.

 

The next thing is I expect you will take full responsibility for the work you have done in creating more problems.

 

This is totally against the aftermarket car industry ethics that exist and you should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself. Shoddy work in deed. I'm appalled.

 

AND, you had the audacity to realise the brake fluid needed changing and worked out the difference between a cam belt and chain.

 

You could trigger a National Strike here!!

 

What next?

 

Shocking......very very shocking.

[JimmySpangle]

I must confess, I did leave the rear wheel nuts loose once on a Fiat 124 I had. This was in 1979 and I found out when the back wheel fell off as I tried to turn right on a very busy high street. The funny part was the ratlling sound for the previous 2-3 miles as each wheel nut fell into the steel hub cap they had back then.

 

I did also once not bother with the pollen filter as I forgot to buy it. I didn't tell myself about it so I didn't complain.

 

I also dropped an 8mm socket down the side of the engine and wing once and couldn't get it out. So it stayed there. Does that count at all?

 

Trying to be reallly bad now!:shock:

[heliosuk]

I must confess, I did leave the rear wheel nuts loose once on a Fiat 124 I had. This was in 1979 and I found out when the back wheel fell off as I tried to turn right on a very busy high street. The funny part was the ratlling sound for the previous 2-3 miles as each wheel nut fell into the steel hub cap they had back then.

 

I did also once not bother with the pollen filter as I forgot to buy it. I didn't tell myself about it so I didn't complain.

 

I also dropped an 8mm socket down the side of the engine and wing once and couldn't get it out. So it stayed there. Does that count at all?

 

Trying to be reallly bad now!:shock:

 

Well Jimmy I think you have redeemed yourself with an A+ 3 star rating as a Fast fit fitter.

 

You got A+ because I think the 124 had bolts at that time, a star for forgetting to follow process and a star for dropping the socket. Plus trying to convince us you tried to replace the pollen filter but forgot

 

You could have got 5 stars but lost two :

1 star for admitting it and not blaming Donald Duck and the second for not coming up with a more imaginative excuse as to excuse liability, such as "our quality manager took it for a test drive over the reactor at Chenobyl and the nuts were ok then, the fact they changed into bolts and glow in the dark is not our responsibility".

 

So Jimmy, despite your confession, you need just a little bit more!!!