sexual harrassment by supermarket security man

[baconbuttyman]

I am furious, yesterday my wife and my 14 yr old daughter went in to a local supermarket whos name begins with A and ends in A, she did her shopping and on the way out the security buzzer went off so the security man came over and was pleasant enough, couldnt find any thing so off she went again to which the buzzer sounded again, at this my wife smiled and reversed the trolley the same chap came over and my wife said looks like you got a dodgy buzzer to which the security man agreed, the security man is a supermarket employee, BUT they also contract outside security for the festive period, it was at this point a contracted security man said to my wife "it must be your knickers" my wife looked stunnedly at the contracted security man to which he then said "do you want to take them off", with that the first security man apologised and ushered my wife away from the contracted security man, my wife asked for a manager, who came over and when my wife told her what he said she promptly told him to get his coat and leave, she apologised as did the other security man, now my daughter was very upset as was my wife, she was extreemly embarrassed by this guy and i am disgusted in the way she was treated by this contracted guy, my wife then left the store to pick me up, when she told me, i was fuming and told her to go back to the supermarket so we could get the details of the contractor and the stores head office again the manager and the employed guard couldnt apologise enough, now i say this was sexual harrassment, when my wife spoke to head offece they agreed that it was sexual harrassment and the lady on the phone went to speak to some one, when she returned she asked "how much do you want" my wife was taken aback with this, my question is this, what is this worth, i am not letting the store get away with this as my family was treated appallingly.

[sailor sam]

Hi,

 

By asking you 'how much do you want' is because obviously they are concerned that you may go to the media with this. They will certainly not want that to happen!

 

It seems to me that they acted swiftly by sacking the 'offender' on the spot but you are clearly not satisfied with this.

 

Therefore you should put your complaint in writing to their head office (which I think is in Leeds) indicating you may seek legal advice and ask for their comments within 14 days. Send by recorded delivery and keep a copy.

 

Your question 'what is this worth' seems a little strange to me as it suggests you are only interested in financial compensation. However, I would suggest to consult a solicitor who specializes in such matters and may be able to answer the question.

[wonderwomen83]

its sexual harrassment and its disgusting. i personally would go to the store who should have logged the incident then i'd call the police in. By asking how much you want i'd take a guess that they know that what happened could be taken further and that makes them worried.

[90DC]

Tell them you want enough to settle your mortgage, if they decline, go to the media.

 

Well to be frank, my opinion on this is that it is disgusting and Asda are clearly not acting in your best interests. I wouldn't personally fart around with the Police, they tend to do nothing really.

 

You have two choices, IMHO

 

Name your price,

 

or go to the media.

 

It all depends on what you want out of it, if you want compensated then take the money, but if you want justice, quickly and properly (In that the security guard will most likely lose his job and be shamed in the media,) then choose the latter.

[My Real Name]

The police might be able to charge the offending security guard under section 5 of the 1986 Public Order Act. Which is an £80 FPN, if I recall.

 

There is no offence of sexual harassment in this context, as far as I am aware of.

 

Furthermore, you have no statutory rights to compensation / any further action on behalf of the store. They appear to be doing as much as can be reasonably expected already - dismissing the guard and offering some degree of compensation.

 

What more can you expect?

[emmarev]

Tell them you want enough to settle your mortgage, if they decline, go to the media.

 

Well to be frank, my opinion on this is that it is disgusting and Asda are clearly not acting in your best interests. I wouldn't personally fart around with the Police, they tend to do nothing really.

 

You have two choices, IMHO

 

Name your price,

 

or go to the media.

 

It all depends on what you want out of it, if you want compensated then take the money, but if you want justice, quickly and properly (In that the security guard will most likely lose his job and be shamed in the media,) then choose the latter.

 

Agreed. Completely Agreed.

 

Reason being, were they in-house security or contractors? If in-house, I'd take Asda for all they have to offer as they have a responsibility to employ people who arent pigs.

 

If contract, it's a bit trickier. If they have any sense, they'll have got wind of this and sacked the guy therefore cutting loose all obligation or liability for his actions. Again, I'd go for Asda as they shouldn't use dodgy contract firms.

 

The crux of it is - settle your mortgage and have a merry christmas.

 

Don't go to the media - I always find that tacky lol

[90DC]

My Real Name

 

The thing is with the Police is they are more bothered about being sat in Mercedes Sprinter vans in groups of four at the side of the road on a 30 zone instead of a 40 zone to care less about some woman with her sexual harrassment claim, they don't take these kind of crimes seriously IMO. The best thing to suggest is keep on at the company, get the idiot sacked, give him a Merry Christmas to remember. You find you waste too much time sat around giving statements with the Old Bill and little in return.

 

As i said, make sure he is sacked, maybe accept some money and have a Merry Christmas.

 

But that is just my advice, you can go to the Police if you wish to do so, but honestly, a few months inside would be a decent punishment, not £80.

[baconbuttyman]

my wife has been in negosiations with the supermarket in question, firstly the guard was contracted and not directly employed, the supermarket wanted to send some flowers but my missus is not a fan of flora, they offered £50 to start but my wife has agreen "verbally" to £100 store credit, tbh i dont think she would have gotten much more, but i am really annoyed abouit this, the guy is lucky i wasnt there myself.

also this is covered under sexual discrimination as my wife was discriminated against

Edited December 8, 2009 by baconbuttyman

[90DC]

Is that all that comes of this? I take it the security guard has been dismissed (To put it nicely). £50 offer? It makes me wonder what the offer would have been if your partner had been a minor. They think they can put a price on silence, it's disgusting, because that is what it is, we're a greedy nation and love to come into money, and forget everything that happened before the money was given.

 

You should have named your price when she said how much do you want...

 

£400-£500 would have been more decent to buy your silence.

[bedlington83]

They think they can put a price on silence

Where does anyone say that the supermarket's offer was conditional upon a gagging order? The OP seems to be free to continue to comment

 

It makes me wonder what the offer would have been if your partner had been a minor

Why on earth would the security guard give a crass, crude and highly inappropriate chat-up line (and that was what this was, no more) to a minor? What exactly are you accusing the OP of in respect of his choice of partner?

 

it's disgusting, because that is what it is

What an insightful analysis, but then its hardly surprising given the contradictory statements that follow;

we're a greedy nation

and

£400-£500 would have been more decent

[baconbuttyman]

let me clear up a few things.

my wife was with a minor, not a partner, she was with my daughter who heard every thing, the security guard in question was dismissed immidiately.

my daughter is 14, i am now in a position where i am going to tell my wife to reject the offer and let me persue it in a legal manor, it is not greedy to make people pay for their unlawful behaviour, it justice, sexual discrimination and harrassment is a crime and the offender should be held accountable for it

[bedlington83]

let me clear up a few things.

my wife was with a minor, not a partner, she was with my daughter who heard every thing, the security guard in question was dismissed immidiately.

my daughter is 14, i am now in a position where i am going to tell my wife to reject the offer and let me persue it in a legal manor, it is not greedy to make people pay for their unlawful behaviour, it justice, sexual discrimination and harrassment is a crime and the offender should be held accountable for it

Has he not been held accountable and paid for his behaviour by being sacked?

[mkb]

Has he not been held accountable and paid for his behaviour by being sacked?

 

 

The guard may have been sacked (although we don't know for certain since he is contracted to Asda, not directly employed by them) but the OP's wife gets no benefit of that action & is entitled to compensation for the actions of the guard.

[bedlington83]

The guard may have been sacked (although we don't know for certain since he is contracted to Asda, not directly employed by them)

The OP said he's been sacked

but the OP's wife gets no benefit of that action & is entitled to compensation for the actions of the guard.

She has been offered ample compensation IMO; £100 for what was no more than an ill-judged and offensive chat-up line. In any case, that is not what the OP wants. The OP wants the security guard to be held accountable for his actions and to pay for them. I believe that he (the security guard) has been held accountable and has paid with his job. I cannot see how much more can be reasonably expected

[mkb]

The OP said that he was sent packing from Asda but I can't see any reference to the fact that he has been sacked from his employers who are not Asda. He might be working in another store by now preparing to insult & verbally abuse other women in a town near you!

 

£100 store vouchers? Erm, that just means that the store retrieves EVERY PENNY BACK so is hardly suitable compensation IMO.

 

Women will always have a different view on comments like this when compared to a mans point of view & I commend the OP for being as disgusted with the guards actions as his wife & child were.

[bedlington83]

The OP said that he was sent packing from Asda but I can't see any reference to the fact that he has been sacked from his employers who are not Asda.

Look at post #11 where the OP says "the security guard in question was dismissed immidiately". Perhaps the OP should clarify what he meant

 

£100 store vouchers? Erm, that just means that the store retrieves EVERY PENNY BACK so is hardly suitable compensation IMO.

Why not? What relevance is it that Asda get some of it back (not all of it because they have to pay for the goods that the OP would get with the voucher)? They haven't done anything wrong as far as I can see. They recognised the problem and acted on it straight away

 

Women will always have a different view on comments like this when compared to a mans point of view & I commend the OP for being as disgusted with the guards actions as his wife & child were.

Actually the only reference to the views of the OP's wife are in post #8 where the OP says that "they offered £50 to start but my wife has agreen "verbally" to £100 store credit"

 

Far from being the man of integrity trying to defend the honour of his wife as you seem to believe, it seems to me that he's just trying to milk the situation for as much money as he can get

[natalie]

I have to say I think Asda have done as much as they could. I think asking for his mortgage to be paid off is ridiculous. Okay so it was disgusting and horrific and very embarrassing, but neither she nor the daughter were harmed. Rape victims dont get enough to pay off their mortgages, so I hardly think innappropriate comments would.

 

Personally, rather than financial gain, I would be questioning Asda on their recruitment process.

[natalie]

I actually had similar from the same store, only it was the delivery driver who made inappropriate advances. On my request Asda made a substantial donation to a sexual violence charity and agreed to review their recruitment process (as well as the driver being dismissed).

[90DC]

Okay, i have read through and it seems certain people are questioning what i was saying. I wish to cause no offence to anybody, i am merely defending and explaining my comments.

 

Natalie

Asda had clearly been offering money, i was simply making a suggestion that was so much out of normality that the OP would know not to take this forward, notice how i haven't mentioned that again in all replies i have made.

 

baconbuttyman

 

I read the Original Post thoroughly and understood that your wife was with a minor, i hope i didn't cause any harm in saying what i said, if the security guard has spoken to your wife, then i personally believe he would do the same to teenage girls, this is disgusting and i don't personally think that much justice would be done either way. I truly hope you get the response you want out of this, but to be honest, he could be working down at the next Tesco or Morrisons and repeat this kind of behaviour with another woman.

 

bedlington83

 

You seem to have questioned just about all of my statements, what i was saying in 'Price on silence' implies that 9 times out of 10 (This is an expression, not fact, but this IS the case), if somebody is offered 'Compensation' for something, they don't usually take the matter any further.

 

I don't know if you were trying to begin a slanging match in what you next quoted with regards to my 'What if his wife had been a minor?' comment. I was never implying that his wife was a minor at all, i was just stating that this could easily have been somebody else, if his wife hadn't been in that position at that time, and it'd have been a girl of 15, would he have made those same comments to that girl? Regardless of whether she was attractive or not... All i was saying was that if this incident had have been a minor, and he would have made those comments, what would Asda have been offering because that would make it oh so more serious.

 

And the typical person would keep quiet after being given some money, because in their heads, that is the end of it, they've made a gain, they will soon forget it. Money usually changes everything.

 

I think that baconbuttyman has taken a look at the advice of all people, and will have asked people elsewhere, and i know he will do what he believes to be right. Clearly he isn't going to take my advice and ask them to pay off his morgage.

 

baconbuttyman keep posting, i'd like to know what you do and what comes of this, and good luck all the way.

[My Real Name]

My Real Name

 

The thing is with the Police is they are more bothered about being sat in Mercedes Sprinter vans in groups of four at the side of the road on a 30 zone instead of a 40 zone to care less about some woman with her sexual harrassment claim, they don't take these kind of crimes seriously IMO.

Which crime is that then?

 

The best thing to suggest is keep on at the company, get the idiot sacked, give him a Merry Christmas to remember. You find you waste too much time sat around giving statements with the Old Bill and little in return.

 

As i said, make sure he is sacked, maybe accept some money and have a Merry Christmas.

 

But that is just my advice, you can go to the Police if you wish to do so, but honestly, a few months inside would be a decent punishment, not £80.

You need to complain to the MOJ, vis. sentencng guidelines, in that case.

[My Real Name]

my wife has been in negosiations with the supermarket in question, firstly the guard was contracted and not directly employed, the supermarket wanted to send some flowers but my missus is not a fan of flora, they offered £50 to start but my wife has agreen "verbally" to £100 store credit, tbh i dont think she would have gotten much more, but i am really annoyed abouit this, the guy is lucky i wasnt there myself.

This seems like a good result, and Asda have done as much as can be reasonably expected.

also this is covered under sexual discrimination as my wife was discriminated against

Covered where? I would be happy to defer to your knowledge of the law in this regard, as mine is sadly lacking.

[My Real Name]

The guard may have been sacked (although we don't know for certain since he is contracted to Asda, not directly employed by them) but the OP's wife gets no benefit of that action & is entitled to compensation for the actions of the guard.

On what basis is this entitlement based? Edited December 9, 2009 by My Real Name
spelling

[natalie]

it is not greedy to make people pay for their unlawful behaviour, it justice, sexual discrimination and harrassment is a crime and the offender should be held accountable for it

 

And I believe the offender did, didnt he? He lost his job. Asda isnt the offender, they acted in a reasonable manner by dismissing the employee, and AS A GOOD WILL GESTURE offered to compensate your wife.

 

They were not obliged to offer your wife anything, as soon as they knew what was occurring they acted. What more can you possibly expect from them?

[bedlington83]

You seem to have questioned just about all of my statements

Because I find it very difficult to understand the point you're making especially as you seem to contradict yourself. For example, further along in the same sentence you go on to say "This is an expression, not fact, but this IS the case". Which is it? (It's a rhetorical question)

 

I don't know if you were trying to begin a slanging match in what you next quoted with regards to my 'What if his wife had been a minor?' comment. I was never implying that his wife was a minor at all

I'm sorry but what you actually said was "It makes me wonder what the offer would have been if your partner had been a minor". Perhaps it was an unfortunate choice of words ("partner" generally means more than "person that you were shopping with"). I'm happy to accept that you didn't mean what it appeared to mean

 

i was just stating that this could easily have been somebody else, if his wife hadn't been in that position at that time, and it'd have been a girl of 15, would he have made those same comments to that girl?

Of course not! Just because the man is socially clumsy and overtly forward in his chat-up lines doesn't make him a paedophile for God's sake. Try and keep a bit of perspective.

 

Regardless of whether she was attractive or not... All i was saying was that if this incident had have been a minor, and he would have made those comments, what would Asda have been offering because that would make it oh so more serious.

If those things had happened, then I agree it would've been more serious, but they didn't happen except in your imagination. Why should Asda offer compensation for something that never happened?

[baconbuttyman]

(please note - i have not named the store, all i have done is give you all a clue and then let you simply deduce which store it is)

 

its not the money thats at issue here, its the honour of my family, yes we could accept the 100 quid and then get our xmas shopping from the store, but then that would be placing a price on my wife and daughters honour, this is my belief, if the store is employ the use of security staff that are simply "bouncers" with a bouncer mentality, (i have worked as club security in the roughest club in blackpool and i know politeness is the best tool that i could use, theres a difference between a bouncer and a security guard.

the guy was dismissed and is now banned from all stores in the area belonging to that particular chain, but if the guy has been sacked from his actual employer i do not know, but the store owners have a responsability to ensure the people that are placed in the store are up to the job and the standard they require from their own employees.

i dont know what i want out of this, but its not what i want, its what makes my wife n daughter happy. maybe i want to embarrace the store like my family were embarraced and degraded.

No they wernt raped as mentioned befor (which was a stupid comment btw imho) but they were verbally abused and thats wrong

i know security staff in my area go thru police checks etc but thats only when they go for a lisence initially, when its renewed each year then there are no checks, looking at the comments the guy made, i am not making any asumptions about the guy but, how many times have you seen groups of men in vans, trucks etc leering and wolf wistling school girls, take a closer look at it and you will see its all to common, if you can honestly say you havent, then open your eyes. i am a father of two girls and a boy, i find this behaviour disgusting and reprehensable. as a human being i find it the same.

i feel my wife and child were violated by some greasy no-mark and would like 5 minutes alone with this guy.

and you think this is about money??.

the store does!! its not for me!!

Edited December 9, 2009 by baconbuttyman