Credit card debt and suicidal, please help if you can

[desperadette]

Hello

 

I owe on 3 credit cards, most of the debt is due to the stupid mistake of borrowing on cards to avoid reposession.

 

Short history, after having second child I suffered post natal depression and couldn't go back to work. I then read about a developer selling investment properties which would give me an income. I guess I was vulnerable and desperate for a solution as I couldn not work having had a total breakdown. I thought I did my due diligence and so we bought a house. Fortunately said we'd only buy one even though the devleloper wanted to sell me 5!! For those who don't know, Buy to let mortgages are given on the potential income of the property, not the income of the borrower. Well we thought we did due diligence by getting the solicitor to check the rental agreement, checking the valuation of the property etc etc. Later we found the tenants never materialised and the valuers and solicitors were taking bribes from the developer. This is being looked into by the serious fraud office so please do not think I am making this all up. It has also been covered in two BBC Panorama programmes.

 

Anyway, out of the 130 odd people we know who also bought properties ( most of them several rather than a single house), many were repossessed or have gone bankrupt. To avoid this, we spent most of our wages proppping up this house. I returned to work part time but then fell pregnant again. I had recovered well from my depression at the time and had a trouble free pregnancy. Unfortunately this baby died during birth and it was a terrible tragedy for us. Again, I was ill for a very long time ( physically as well as emotionally as I had 4 blood transfusions). This is when the debt spiralled out of control as we were paying two mortgages to avoid repossession and I earned nothing. And interest rates on the mortages kept going up.

 

Ironically, it turns out that the other people who were victims of the same fraud and allowed themselves to get repossessed are in a better position as their losses are crystallized and easier to quantify for compensation which we hope to get one day.

 

Credit card debts

 

10 K with Marbles - I had a payment agreement with them, £5 a month and the froze the interest but this has just ended. They now say they want 32.9 %!!! The minimum payment will be over £200 and it won't touch the capital. I just cannot cannot pay this

 

8 K with Barcalycard - they originally charged nearly 30%, referred me to a debt collection agency and now they have reduced the interest to 3% and I pay £110 a month but this is reducing the capital, slowly. This was originally a Morgan Stanley card from many years back ( maybe around 2000/2001) and they have sold to Bcard.

 

6 K with Egg. Egg also froze their interest and took £1 a month. Last week I got a letter from Apex debt collectors saying that they had bought the debt from Egg. In the same envelope was a letter from Egg saying they had sold it to Apex. I emailed Apex asking whether that agreement is in force. As my mother is very worried about my state of mind, she asked me to find out if they would accept a payment and end the debt. She hasn't got the full 6 K but she asked me to find out what they would accept but they have not replied.

 

In terms of the property, we paid 250K and the valuation before the crash was 170K. I have no idea what it would fetch now but if we sold, our understanding was that the bank would come after us for the shortfall. And we haven't got it.

 

I accept that I have messed up. The court case for compensation re the property has been dragging on. I feel terrible and guilty for the stress I have put my family through because of my naivity. I just want this debt to end and I dont' knwo where to start. I have tried to read through the site and some of the info seems to conflict but that is my limited understanign I guess. I find it hard to even type this through the brain fog as I am very depressed and I just want this to end. I am desperate to sort this. I printed out CCA requests but don't know if I should send them or to all at one or just one at a time or.....? I saw someone had written to egg and got replies but it doens't seem straightforward at all with them sending standard letters back.

 

Please can someone give me a very simple step by step guide that I cano follow? My brain does not seem to function well enought at the mo.

 

If you made it this far, thank you so much for taking the trouble to read. I am quite happy to donate to the site, I am always grateful for help I receive.

[Mr Worried]

Hello

 

I owe on 3 credit cards, most of the debt is due to the stupid mistake of borrowing on cards to avoid reposession.

 

Short history, after having second child I suffered post natal depression and couldn't go back to work. I then read about a developer selling investment properties which would give me an income. I guess I was vulnerable and desperate for a solution as I couldn not work having had a total breakdown. I thought I did my due diligence and so we bought a house. Fortunately said we'd only buy one even though the devleloper wanted to sell me 5!! For those who don't know, Buy to let mortgages are given on the potential income of the property, not the income of the borrower. Well we thought we did due diligence by getting the solicitor to check the rental agreement, checking the valuation of the property etc etc. Later we found the tenants never materialised and the valuers and solicitors were taking bribes from the developer. This is being looked into by the serious fraud office so please do not think I am making this all up. It has also been covered in two BBC Panorama programmes.

 

Anyway, out of the 130 odd people we know who also bought properties ( most of them several rather than a single house), many were repossessed or have gone bankrupt. To avoid this, we spent most of our wages proppping up this house. I returned to work part time but then fell pregnant again. I had recovered well from my depression at the time and had a trouble free pregnancy. Unfortunately this baby died during birth and it was a terrible tragedy for us. Again, I was ill for a very long time ( physically as well as emotionally as I had 4 blood transfusions). This is when the debt spiralled out of control as we were paying two mortgages to avoid repossession and I earned nothing. And interest rates on the mortages kept going up.

 

Ironically, it turns out that the other people who were victims of the same fraud and allowed themselves to get repossessed are in a better position as their losses are crystallized and easier to quantify for compensation which we hope to get one day.

 

Credit card debts

 

10 K with Marbles - I had a payment agreement with them, £5 a month and the froze the interest but this has just ended. They now say they want 32.9 %!!! The minimum payment will be over £200 and it won't touch the capital. I just cannot cannot pay this

 

8 K with Barcalycard - they originally charged nearly 30%, referred me to a debt collection agency and now they have reduced the interest to 3% and I pay £110 a month but this is reducing the capital, slowly. This was originally a Morgan Stanley card from many years back ( maybe around 2000/2001) and they have sold to Bcard.

 

6 K with Egg. Egg also froze their interest and took £1 a month. Last week I got a letter from Apex debt collectors saying that they had bought the debt from Egg. In the same envelope was a letter from Egg saying they had sold it to Apex. I emailed Apex asking whether that agreement is in force. As my mother is very worried about my state of mind, she asked me to find out if they would accept a payment and end the debt. She hasn't got the full 6 K but she asked me to find out what they would accept but they have not replied.

 

In terms of the property, we paid 250K and the valuation before the crash was 170K. I have no idea what it would fetch now but if we sold, our understanding was that the bank would come after us for the shortfall. And we haven't got it.

 

I accept that I have messed up. The court case for compensation re the property has been dragging on. I feel terrible and guilty for the stress I have put my family through because of my naivity. I just want this debt to end and I dont' knwo where to start. I have tried to read through the site and some of the info seems to conflict but that is my limited understanign I guess. I find it hard to even type this through the brain fog as I am very depressed and I just want this to end. I am desperate to sort this. I printed out CCA requests but don't know if I should send them or to all at one or just one at a time or.....? I saw someone had written to egg and got replies but it doens't seem straightforward at all with them sending standard letters back.

 

Please can someone give me a very simple step by step guide that I cano follow? My brain does not seem to function well enought at the mo.

 

If you made it this far, thank you so much for taking the trouble to read. I am quite happy to donate to the site, I am always grateful for help I receive.

 

Hi Desperadette

 

Welcome to the forum

 

You are not alone

 

First thing first...Please calm down, I wish I knew where you lived and I would come around and do your typing and get things moving for you, but I dont and I cant, so here is my advise and whatever I dont cover then another cager will.

 

Put together all of your woe's and in order ( in your opinion ) of urgent, non urgent, pending etc.

 

Then post up the amounts, at what stage they are at and what progress ' if any ' you have made.

 

Dont worry about the cc wanting min payments after the initial 6 mth ' lay off '.

 

We can help you a great deal, believe me I have been saved since I joined here, and look at me a year later I'm offering you advice, read my first few posts and I was as bad as you are.

 

Tell your mother I will tell her off if she attemts to pay off Apex. DO NOT SPEAK TO THEM OR ANY OTHER AGENT ETC THAT CALL YOU, simply reply politley, thankyou for calling however I will not go through security, would you please put anything you have to say in writing.

Then make a log of the call, put it in your new book, and post up in this thread what happened.

 

All of the cagers will see it as we are subscribed to this , your thread. so be rest assured we will get back to you.

 

I for one will be keeping a close eye on you, any help you need then just ask, c'mon keep yourself together girl we'll get you through this.

 

Good luck and hope to speak soon.

 

Remember to get your ( woe's ) and values posted up here.

 

Mr W

[blueda]

Hi Desperadette and welcome to CAG, good advice from Mr Worried, take things one day at a time and one step at a time, with the help of the members of this site you will get there. I hope that you are in touch with help to get you through the depression, such as a qualified stress councillor, and there are also support groups, sometimes local and even online. Someone from the site team will be along to give you further advice soon. In the meantime stay with this site and keep us informed.

[dx100uk]

well TBH i cant see any reason at all to be worried about the three cards.

you have, and well done, been doing exactly the correct things by negotiating lower payments & getting the int frozen, something that many others on here only dream of the co's doing!

 

have you thought about getting the unlawful fees and PPI back on the cards

'cause i bet you have SHEDLOADS of charges, ALL of which can be reclaimed & with interest too!

 

PPI is also a [problem] that prob signed you up for, TOTALLY useless and costing you the earth.

 

have a sit down and a read around and let us know whaen you want to start hitting back.

'cause thats what we do here at CAG...hit back using your rights.

 

chin up

 

watching with interest.

 

dx

Edited December 5, 2009 by dx100uk
typos

[diamondgirl]

Welcome

Please do try to relax. We all know it is very hard and most of us have been through it. We all know what the stress of it all can do.

Please if you have to speak to these people and I use the term loosely just tell them to put everything in writing and do not go through any security questions with them.

You will get all the help and advise you could want from this site.

We are all behind you 100%.

Sit down, get all your papers in order, keep separate files for each one of your creditors so you will have all the paperwork together.

Keep us all posted and you will have lots of help.

DG

[Mr Worried]

despredetta

 

You see 2 hrs after I posted to your thread help and advise came along by way of blueda, DX and dg.

 

Keep your chin up and let us help you.

 

Mr W

[desperadette]

Thank you, Mr worried, diamond girl,dx100uk and blueda.

 

I cannot tell you how moved I am to get such wonderful support and so quickly. I am trying to stay calm - the nature of this illness is that I cannot see the wood for the trees.

 

Yes, I will try and go through paperwork and try and get things in order. I felt exhausted after typing my long post and my husband very kindly told me to get some rest. Despite the fact that he is very stressed too. About an hour ago I made it downstairs and plucked up the courage to open today's post.

 

I think I mentioned that I was paying a pound a month to Egg who had frozen the interest. I then had a letter from Apex saying they had bought the debt. I wrote to them asking them if the terms and conditions were the same (they said yes) and I also mentioned that my mother has asked for a figure for full and final settlement. As she is worried about my mental health. Well, in this letter they say they will settle for just under 30% of the balance. I have to say that I am really surprised that they have agreed to it. I know Mr Worried said not to pay them but if it is paid it is one less debt to worry about.

 

I have 2 sets of mortgage arrears but I have payment agreements in place so they won't repossess me as long as I keep to this. I find that the credit card lenders are harder to deal with than the mortgage lenders.

 

I will try and put up a full breakdown as soon as I can sort all the paperwork. Tomorrow I have to do an income/expenditure form for Marbles so I should have all the info by then.

 

Thanks guys for taking the time to read and reply.

 

I'd be interested to know what everyone things of this newest development from Apex. I have about 3 weeks to pay them off.

 

Feeling a bit more hopeful now

[Mr Worried]

Thank you, Mr worried, diamond girl,dx100uk and blueda.

 

I cannot tell you how moved I am to get such wonderful support and so quickly. I am trying to stay calm - the nature of this illness is that I cannot see the wood for the trees.

 

Yes, I will try and go through paperwork and try and get things in order. I felt exhausted after typing my long post and my husband very kindly told me to get some rest. Despite the fact that he is very stressed too. About an hour ago I made it downstairs and plucked up the courage to open today's post.

 

I think I mentioned that I was paying a pound a month to Egg who had frozen the interest. I then had a letter from Apex saying they had bought the debt. I wrote to them asking them if the terms and conditions were the same (they said yes) and I also mentioned that my mother has asked for a figure for full and final settlement. As she is worried about my mental health. Well, in this letter they say they will settle for just under 30% of the balance. I have to say that I am really surprised that they have agreed to it. I know Mr Worried said not to pay them but if it is paid it is one less debt to worry about.

 

I have 2 sets of mortgage arrears but I have payment agreements in place so they won't repossess me as long as I keep to this. I find that the credit card lenders are harder to deal with than the mortgage lenders.

 

I will try and put up a full breakdown as soon as I can sort all the paperwork. Tomorrow I have to do an income/expenditure form for Marbles so I should have all the info by then.

 

Thanks guys for taking the time to read and reply.

 

I'd be interested to know what everyone things of this newest development from Apex. I have about 3 weeks to pay them off.

 

Feeling a bit more hopeful now

 

Hi despredetta

 

Glad to see you have responded to us.

 

Do not pay Apex anything...why do you need to do a I+E for marbles?

You need to get your debts re cc on here asap, so we can advise you further.

 

Just to try and relax you further, I have dealings with Apex, they were very aggresive at first, now they eat from my hands.

 

Take care and do not worry.

 

Mr W

[WormHasTurned]

It's a 'civil' debt - happens to 'civilised' people.

 

You're NOT a criminal.

 

It will be posssible to work out a solution.

[MandM]

Hi D,

 

Do not pay Apex anything...why do you need to do a I+E for marbles?

You need to get your debts re cc on here asap, so we can advise you further.

 

DO THIS FIRST

It will be posssible to work out a solution.

Then this will happen,

 

Things will only get better from this point on.

 

Subbing

 

M

[MandM]

PS if no ones told you already remember to press 'refresh' when you're on the thread so you can see what we're posting up.

 

M

[desperadette]

Hi despredetta

 

 

 

Do not pay Apex anything...why do you need to do a I+E for marbles?

You need to get your debts re cc on here asap, so we can advise you further.

 

My payment agreement with marbles (interest frozen, payment of £5 a month) comes to an end on the 7th December. I was told that unless I sent in another I and E form, the interest would go back up to 32.9% and my minimum payment would be over £200 a month. So I have a pretty strong incentive to do and I and E tomorrow and send by recorded delivery on Monday.

 

Why not pay Apex? Surely it means a debt has been settled and that is one less card to worry about? They are offering to write off £4700 - I have it in writing - so I thought it was a good thing! And I want the debts paid off as soon as possible. I would be glad if Marbles offered to settle for a lot less than the outstanding debt too.

 

Am confused...

[desperadette]

Hi despredetta

 

 

 

Do not pay Apex anything...why do you need to do a I+E for marbles?

You need to get your debts re cc on here asap, so we can advise you further.

 

 

My payment agreement with marbles (interest frozen, payment of £5 a month) comes to an end on the 7th December. I was told that unless I sent in another I and E form, the interest would go back up to 32.9% and my minimum payment would be over £200 a month. So I have a pretty strong incentive to do and I and E tomorrow and send by recorded delivery on Monday.

 

Why not pay Apex? Surely it means a debt has been settled and that is one less card to worry about? They are offering to write off £4700 - I have it in writing - so I thought it was a good thing! And I want the debts paid off as soon as possible. I would be glad if Marbles offered to settle for a lot less than the outstanding debt too.

 

Am confused.....?

[MandM]

Hi despredetta

 

 

 

Do not pay Apex anything...why do you need to do a I+E for marbles?

You need to get your debts re cc on here asap, so we can advise you further.

 

My payment agreement with marbles (interest frozen, payment of £5 a month) comes to an end on the 7th December. I was told that unless I sent in another I and E form, the interest would go back up to 32.9% and my minimum payment would be over £200 a month. So I have a pretty strong incentive to do and I and E tomorrow and send by recorded delivery on Monday.

 

Why not pay Apex? Surely it means a debt has been settled and that is one less card to worry about? They are offering to write off £4700 - I have it in writing - so I thought it was a good thing! And I want the debts paid off as soon as possible. I would be glad if Marbles offered to settle for a lot less than the outstanding debt too.

 

Am confused...

 

Someone from Site Team i'm sure will advise, However, it comes down ultimately to what you're comfy with!.

 

Saturday is probably the slowest day on here but you will have good advice by the time the weekend's out.

 

M

[MandM]

I was told that unless I sent in another I and E form, the interest would go back up to 32.9% and my minimum payment would be over £200 a month.

Can you afford £200 a month? If not then you don't have to pay it! It's that simple. Priority debts are first - Mortgage, arrears, court payments, utilities, food! They can only get a SHARE of what's left. And that's that,

M

[desperadette]

Thanks for the advice.

 

No, definitely cannot afford over 200 a month. That is why I want to send Marbles the I and E first thing Monday so that they will hopefully let me carry on paying £5 a month, at least til the mortgage arrears are settled.

 

All my wages go on debt repayment, and I mean all! Fortunately my husband's salary just about covers the food and petrol and basic living expenses.

 

Oh and thanks for the tip re the refresh button!

 

Is there a way of receiving emails when someone posts on this thread please?

 

Thanks

[MandM]

Is there a way of receiving emails when someone posts on this thread please?

Go into 'Quick Links' at the top and then into 'Subscribed Threads'. You will find the option there to get e mail notification

 

M

[MandM]

That is why I want to send Marbles the I and E first thing Monday so that they will hopefully let me carry on paying £5 a month, at least til the mortgage arrears are settled

Personally, I like to continue paying each of my cards/loans a nominal amount each month - whether they,ve agreed it or not .

 

I think that the point that Mr Worried was making is as follows:- Once you've done yout I&E then it's done! You need only do it once and it covers ALL your debts. I did my in February, copied it loads and they all got the same one!

Of what's left, this is split proportionally between all of your debtors (bar those mentioned above) and as that's fair then that is all a court would impose on you. Are you using their I&E form or one from the internet?

M

[blueda]

Sometimes there are differences of opinion on this site as to advice given to help, such as whether or not you should make the reduced payment to Apex as full and final settlement, it is a good deal that is on the table from them, what needs to be worked out is if you can afford it, and stil have the funds to keep your other committments going, you say that you want to work towards the clearing of the debts and if you have the means to make the payment to Apex then this would be one debt less to deal with, as for the income and expenditure and token payments time limits coming to an end, the creditors will continue to take token payments when you show them that you have a very small income, after some time they become easier to deal with, also you become better at dealing with them and with help from this site. You can receive e-mails from this site. Below is a link to the letters templates site which includes an example of a letter of offer of reduced settlement. Remember one day at a time and one step at a time and you will get there.

http:http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/generel-debt-issues/20758-creditors-dcas-letter-templates.html

[desperadette]

was planning on using the form Marbles sent me.

 

Prior to this, I sent them all a copy of something the CCCS helped me put together around this time last year.

 

I just don't feel like I've made that much headway in a year, hence my current desperation. And I guess the prolonged stress has taken its toll.

 

I see your point re doing one and then sending it to everyone - makes sense and saves me going through the exercise all over again for someone else.

[nick20045]

My suggestions. (Am not a professional but then I do try and use logic).

 

I would agree to the I+E. (If I get it right this is with Marbles). One of the following will happen:

a: You get offered to stay on £5 a month which is not bad

b: They will try to up the amount. In which case you can write back and tell them that due to other debt you cannot.

c: They will refuse and tell you that you have to pay full amount (£200 a month)

 

In whichever case, it "buys you time" which is what you need so you can sort things out. i.e. If you have a war on 3 fronts you try and get one front off so now you only face 2. Once you finish with the 2 you can go after no 3. Also, you can always accept or decline later on. Let us say it takes 2 weeks between when you write and by the time they reply. That is 2 weeks less worrying about one of the problems

 

Right, as said, priorities first:

 

Roof over your heads

Food (no takeaways and the such but you need to have food to live)

Clothing (at least nothing expensive but you need clothing)

Heating (you need to try to keep this cost down as much as possible but not suffer)

Electricity (same as heating)

Water rates

Council tax

 

Mortgage, I would write to the mortgage lender and ask for assistance. Mortgage lenders know that if they repossess they will sell at auction and if they do not get enough to cover the mortgage then it is a big headache chasing the balance. IF shove comes to crunch, ask if you can change it to "Interest Only Mortgage". i.e. You only pay the interest on the mortgage but not towards the property.

 

Regarding Apex (If I get it right, this used to be Egg before they sold it).

 

Send a letter:

 

Dear Sirs

 

Your ref:

 

I refer to your letter dated xxxxxx which was received on xxxx.

 

Whilst I note that you have stated that you are prepared to accept £XXXX as a full and final settlement, as you can appriciate, at the present moment I am in some financial difficulties.

 

I am therefore writing to you to tell you that I need some time to work out my current financial situation and I will write back to you within the next two weeks. Furthermore, this will allow me, should I not be in a position to meet your final settlement figure to see if I can borrow the rest from family.

 

Yours sincerely

 

Re Barclays

 

Dear Sirs

 

I refer to your letter dated xxxxx regarding the above mentioned reference which was received on the xxxxx

 

As I have been notified that there may actually be charges involved in this account which, I am really not entitled to have been charged, please note I am putting this account in dispute.

 

I respectfully suggest you read the OFT guidelines regarding accounts in dispute and how your bank needs to stay within these guidelines.

 

Once I have checked everything, I will be in a better position to discuss the matter with you

 

Yours sincerely

 

Do them. Explanation in next post.

[nunnyrose]

Hi Desperadette,

" have 2 sets of mortgage arrears but I have payment agreements in place so they won't repossess me as long as I keep to this. I find that the credit card lenders are harder to deal with than the mortgage lenders"

This is because the mortgage companies in the main know they cant repossess unless they can prove they've done everything possibly to try and prevent possession. Credit card and DC companies use bullying tactics and empty threats to try and make you pay, they have no regard for your priority debts. Actually, you only have to pay them what you can afford, and only after they have proved the debt is legally theirs to collect.

 

I understand that your mum is worried about you but tell her you will be looked after here. let her read the threads

(waving to Despradette's mum)

I was sooooooooooo depressed, stressed and worried when I first started posting on these threads back in October but I am truely a happy smily person again now. Everybody tells me I look the best I have for years!

Come on in- the waters lovely!

[MandM]

I used the I&E on National Debtline. I liked it as it was self calculating so you can fiddle with it.

 

M

[nick20045]

was planning on using the form Marbles sent me.

 

Prior to this, I sent them all a copy of something the CCCS helped me put together around this time last year.

 

I just don't feel like I've made that much headway in a year, hence my current desperation. And I guess the prolonged stress has taken its toll.

 

I see your point re doing one and then sending it to everyone - makes sense and saves me going through the exercise all over again for someone else.

With debt it is like a mortgage. Either you go full blast into finalising it or otherwise you hardly see any change. (Mortgages first few years most of the payments go towards the interest).

[nick20045]

Explanation of why I advised you re previous post:

 

You will notice I have split the problem into different parts. Basically part 1 is Mortgage. Part 2 is Marbles. Part 3 is Apex/Egg and Part 4 is Barclays.

 

Mortgage: You said you have an agreement with them and you are happy with that agreement. It might not be nice but at least you can manage. I would suggest that you ask what would be the payments on "Interest Only mortage". See if it might be less then your agreed amount. The figure you owe will basically not change but in 20 or whatever time property is bound to have gone up in price to what you bought for. Dont forget, you may owe say £100,000 on the property today. In 20 years time (taking an example) you will still owe £100,000 on Interest Only but when you come to sell you will get more (same as property today is totally different priced to 20 years ago).

 

Marbles: I do not think it is a bad deal at £5 a month so if you can get it then I would personally say (some others may think otherwise) stay on it. £5 a month is not a big headache.

ONCE BUT ONLY ONCE you get the offer (let us say they will extend the offer for another year) then send in a s.78/s.79 application (CCA). (Costs £1). Reason for this is so that we can now start looking to see if everything is legit.

 

Apex/Egg: You have bought yourself some time by the letter. The offer is there. You have notified them you want two weeks. Now.........

 

Send off a CCA to Egg (another £1). We will now start to see if this is also all legit.

 

Barclays: You have put this into dispute. Until the dispute is sorted Barclays has to stop collection or they will be in default of OFT Guidelines. Send them also a CCA (another £1 cost). We can then see if they also have everything all legit. If Barclays say anything, tell them you want to check re PPI and other things.

 

So what has happened now to your 3 major problems? Marbles possibly £5 which is not a problem. Apex you have at least a 2 week breather to catch your breath. Barclays you have told them "you cannot collect at the moment" so that is now not much of a problem.

 

Do them and post. Others will also give you their own advise, but what I have gone for here is trying to get you some breathing space, some time to compose yourself and get level headed and some time to not worry. Christmas is coming. You have just bought some holiday time.

 

Also work out your electric bill (if monthly or quaterly), gas bill, food bill, clothing bill, council tax, tv licence and other outgoings and if possible post on here. (Nothing to be ashamed of. We are here to help and remember nobody knows who you are at the end of the day). TRY AND NOT forget things BUT ALSO DO NOT EXAGERATE. Also how many in the family e.g. 2 adults, 1 between 13 and 18 and 1 between 5 to 12. Can give an idea.

 

Hope the above helps.