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kregrs

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Firstly, I'm posting this on behalf of a friend, think this is the most appropriate forum, although its not a consumer problem. I have my friends permission to ask on here.

The friend in question went through a period of sexual abuse when he was younger, the perpetrator being his godfather, whose family he was living with. He broke off all contact with them 10yrs ago, and the matter was finally reported to the police in 2001. After 6 months it was decided by the police, that although the officers who carried out the interview believed that the abuse did happen, there was insufficient evidence to prosecute, and the matter was left at that. Now, my friend, having been through counselling and a lot of depression because of what happened, wants to know what he can do. Could he approach the police and ask for it to be looked at again?And what is the likelyhood of them doing something. If so, what would be the best way to go about it, as I agree with him its a bit of a sensitive subject, and couldn't suggest who he should speak to, more so because he knows the 2 officers that dealt with it have moved to different departments. I understand at the moment he feels as if people, or those that know what happened, tend not to believe him, as the abuser is fairly well respected locally.

So what are peoples suggestions.

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I am no help but in a similar situation. I know how frustrating it is to find a case not carried forward that I felt would give me some closure as in faced him in court. I recently asked to see my case file to be told they had lost part of it and this also meant it would never go to court, so I feel the police could be doing more to help. My case was parent who was serving police officer on child protection squad, so imagine how I felt when they closed it. They kept saying he is well respected and thought of:mad:Not by me. They said the we believe you, but if felt plastic and I was reminded over and over that I had epilepsy and it would raise memory issues in court. I felt they didnt want to help, it has crushed me to bits mentally and I cant get over it and it was over 20 years ago, they say I need to move on, how I would like to know, I live day by day now.

 

But anyhow hope you get some ideas for your friend and I will wish you good luck:)

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Guest wino

Hi kregrs

I have just googled 'sexual abuse forum UK' and there are loads of forums listed even .org.

 

Perhaps you would be better asking the question there. :)

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It may be the case that, should charges be made, other victims of abuse come forward.

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I do worry in my case. I am early fourties and my sister near same age, still lives with them. She had a breakdown some years ago and her partner said he could not cope with her, so she went back to parents and I do wonder wether ond day she will appear and tell me the same happened to her. The police interviewed her and she said nothing was wrong, but living with them could have made it impossible for her or hopefully nowt did happen to her.

With me it feels as if I am always trying to prove I have done nothing wrong in everday situations and feel intimidated by police, security guards, cameras etc, pathetic I know. I watched eastenders today and saw how they tried to turn what happened to whitneys character as if she threw herself on him and although I think I would have been unsettled by it, I wasnt given the chance to face him either way.

 

I think the suggestion of the forums is a good idea, I will try that as cannnot face even going to mind as have to leave house too regulary.

 

As they say what goes around comes around:) Do these people feel guilt I would like to feel it eats them up inside, but I wonder do they feel they have done nothing wrong...troubling.

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I do know one thing I was advised, was that if I want to carry it on, I needed to write to the chief constable of the investigating force and he could look into it. Just the constant hints of your not strong enough, or arresting force has lost the files and it was ages ago were to put me off. I should do something.

 

Hope the original posters friend/relatice is okay and sorry for hijacking thread, its just something that has to be dealt with because it keeps rearing its head with every bout of depression in my case.

 

xxxx

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Guest wino

Try the forums as there are others on there who have been through similar ordeal and will know exactly how you feel. Hopefully you can help each other.

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Can I suggest a forum, OneinFour.org.

 

It was originally set up by Colm O'Gorman, the guy who sued the Irish Catholic Church.

 

They will be able to offer lots of practical advice as well as emotional support.


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To answer this question:

Do these people feel guilt I would like to feel it eats them up inside,

....Almost certainly not.

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Thanks for forum advice, will try sites after xmas. Hope op relative is ok:)

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