The Best Weight Loss Programme In The World Bar None

[exasperated]

Hello All,

I have discovered this new weight loss programme and I am so confident it works that if it doesn't I will give you your money back (and then charge you £28 for writing the cheque and sending it you)

All my friends and relatives have commented on how successful this has been for me saying I am so thin I look ill....

 

First of all and this is crucial to this diet plan working is ask a greedy, fat, nasty loan company (for example First Plus) to lend you some money. Its crucial you get this right and the APR needs to be in excess of 20% or you wont get the results you want.

When you have taken the money from them it is recommended that you then start some fitness exercises so you are ready to kick yourself accordingly for ever asking them in the first place. Make sure you do plenty of exercise in anticipation of whats to come as it can be quite draining as you will 'kick yourself' quite alot and many times over.This is the beginning of the programme but their is lots more to come.

Now here is the magic bit to our weight loss programme...

A couple of years down the line when your circumstances have changed write to the nasty greedy fat loan company and ask them for some consideration of your circumstances. This is where this diet plan comes into its own as their is absolutely no way that they will care less or help you in any way. This is when the weight will drop off through sleepless nights and loss of appetite as you constantly wonder how you going to get yourself out of the mess your in.

By this point you will have the added bonus and extra exercise of having dug yourself a nice big hole you cant get out of and the calories will be swallowed up as you try to climb out of the big hole you are in but to no avail. Furthermore enjoy the stress that accompanies each letter that drops through the door with up to a £40 charge attached to it making the weight just fall off. Carry on with the exercises by lifting the phone and trying the regulatory bodies who look after these finance companies, this will be exhausting and repetitive ( a good calorie burner) but unfortunately the side effect is you will be 'blue in the face' before you get any positive response of the those spineless critters.

By this point hopefully you will be so skint because you have given all your money to the nasty fat greedy loan company that you wont have anything left to buy any food which is great for this diet plan.

Hey presto by simply taking a loan off a nasty, greedy, fat loan company you have shed stone's in weight (and all your savings) so in all a simple weight loss programme guaranteed to have effect.

Finally a word of warning if you want this diet plan to succeed do not join CAG as it is very likely that they will help you fight the nasty fat greedy loan company thus stopping the dramatic weight loss associated with this plan.

Exasp

[Woozel]

Haha! I'm currently on the Barclays Reserve plan - very similar!

[Bookworm]

Sooo, this is the best way to lose pounds and pounds at the same time? Brilliant!

[exasperated]

Woozel/Bookworm

Worked for me I only weigh 6lb and I was 8lb when I was born:grin:

Exasp

[Woozel]

Only wish I'd thought of it - I'd be so fat I'd need a crane to go to the loo. Rich enough to afford it too.

 

Although had I come across this site, I'd shed some pounds, you know how!

[locutus]

Ya know I think I know a better Weight loss program...

 

 

[exasperated]

Nah,

Its all over to soon....you need to suffer, you know what they say 'no pain no gain'

Exasp

[Spamalot]

Excellent!!

 

I agree with the bit about don't join CAG as it may interfere with the losing of pounds... since I've joined I spend most of my spare time sitting on my bum and playing in the bear garden instead of getting some exercise with things like housework..

[exasperated]

Tut tut Spam,

This diet plan did worn you to stay away from them caggers:grin:

[Spamalot]

[hilaryfrances]

hurmphh did not work for me though! I look like one of those fat cats init!

[exasperated]

Hi HF

In what?

Exasp

[hilaryfrances]

lol. init? does this face look bovered though? tut

 

 

not IN IT

[exasperated]

HF,

Thanks to you two yorkshire ladies for teaching me the 'lingo' innit!

Exasp