Manager bullying hubby..

[deathbycrayons]

Right, my husband works at a well known supermarket beginning with M. His boss is an arse, and is always picking on him. My hubby is compiling a dossier of incidents where the manager has made him feel victimised and bullied.

 

Today I was in the store, shopping. As I am disabled, I asked my husband to lift a sack of cat litter into the trolley for me. He actually happened to be in the isle that the cat litter is in anyway, so it wasn't even as if he was going out of his way to help me. He asked me how our son has been this afternoon, and asked how I was feeling, and then the manager came and shouted at him on the shop floor in front of lots of customers. This is not the first time he's done this. He shouted at my husband for 'skiving and chatting to the wife whilst he's supposed to be working'

 

Last month my hubby had to take 2 weeks off due to severe depression, and when he handed his sick note in, he had to give it to the manager on the shop floor as the manager wouldn't go off the shop floor as he was 'too busy'. He was really mean to hubby and told him it wouldn't do his absense percentage any good if he took the time off, made him feel really small and then just tutted and walked off.

 

My husband is fuming and wants to put in a grievance against the manager, who is in his early 20's and has no people skills, he's just a power mad idiot.

 

The problem is, he's the area manager's 'golden boy' and can do no wrong. People have put in grievences before against him, and nothing ever comes of it. He always gets away with it. He's a bully and he's really making hubby's life miserable. I've literally had my hubby come home in tears because of this man. Help!!

[deathbycrayons]

Bump..

[madari]

Bump,slide,trip and fall.....

[deathbycrayons]

Could someone please tell me what they think of this. Obviously names have been changed, but in the real letter, full names have been used.

 

September 18th 2009

 

 

FORMAL REQUEST FOR GRIEVANCE AGAINST mr nasty manager

 

On the grounds of:- Bullying,

Aggressive/threatening behavior,

Failure to adhere to company policy

Failure to recognise carers responsibilities

 

At approcimately 16.12 on Friday 18th September, my wife was in store shopping. She asked me for my discount card, and with help locating an item. I was merchandising aisle 2 at the time and took my wife to aisle 6 to help her find the teething gel as she didn't know where to look for it (aisle 6 or pharmacy). I helped her reach it from the shelf.

Aisle 2 was left unattended by me for approximately 45-60 seconds maximum.

 

manager accosted me in aisle 6 and led me at pace back to aisle 2. John Bloggs in attendance.

manager proceeded to aggressively bawl at me for, in his words, "chatting to your missus" on the shop floor, this was shouted at me, in front of John Bloggs and 9-10 customers. This in itself I found degrading.

 

Manager also used such threats as "watch your back" and "be very careful, I'm watching you". When I asked if I should clear away my whole cart for every customer enquiry, Manager seemed to get even more aggressive and told me "don't get cocky with me". I felt it to be a fair question, and it remains unanswered.

 

After this, he stormed off leaving myself and John down the aisle feeling somewhat bewildered and angry.

 

Not only is this bullying of the worst kind, I feel the psycological threats to have been intended to cause personal distress to myself. As Manager is well aware I have low self esteem, and severe anxieties due to my mental ill health.

 

Not only that, but I feel blatant threats are unacceptable.

 

I would also like Manager to be reminded that BY LAW I am Kate's primary carer and have to help her with the majority of her day to day life. However, even if this was not the case, she is still a customer in this store, so it is my job to help her to the best of my abilities just as with any other customer.

 

This is NOT the first instance of this kind of behavior towards me from manager.

 

I would like this sorted out, as I will not tollerate this negative attitude and ill treatment in my place of work.

 

Bob XXXX

[ErikaPNP]

If you want complete honesty, I would remove the part about "Failure to recognise carers responsibilities" and "By Law I am kate's official carer" – I say this because I remember you have made posts previously about your husband being late back to work from breaks due to caring responsibilities. The company do have to recognise caring responsibilities but they also, as employers have a right to expect their employee to be able to work to contract. Writing this in the letter, after previous issues where his caring responsibilities have conflicted with his contract responsibilities will only serve to fan the flames for higher management and they may well consider whether your husband is capable of fulfilling his contract.

 

You want to get the point across that your husband was helping you in the same manner that he would assist any other customer, and that it was the manager that took issue with the fact that this customer was “the wife”. You also don’t want to mention the discount card, unless this was the reason for the manager going off on one – as it implies that your husband was not treating you as “every other customer”. In addition, you want to show that this event is not an isolated incident, as again it will give weight to the grievance if there are more incidents mentioned within it, and demonstrated that up until now, your husband has remained reasonably restrained by not taking it further.

You also don’t want the letter to look aggressive. I know you and your husband are angry, but your grievance will generally carry more weight if it is written without appearing aggressive.

 

I’ve amended the letter for you, see what you think:

 

September 18th 2009

 

Dear Sir/Madam

 

RE Formal Grievance

 

I wish to raise a formal grievance against the actions of my immediate manager, Mr Nasty Manager, on the grounds of victimisation by displaying continuous threatening and intimidating behaviour.

 

Mr Nasty manager has consistently behaved toward me in a manner which I find unacceptable and without just cause. These behaviours toward me have been evident during the following incidents:

 

*Write about the previous incidents, giving dates if possible. ESPECIALLY mention the incident where your husband was certified sick; this will demonstrate that the manager is aware he is suffering depression.

 

The culmination of events led to the most recent incident; an aggressive exchange in a public area of the supermarket, which has prompted me to raise this grievance:

 

At approximately 16.12 on Friday 18th September, my wife was in store shopping. She asked me with help locating an item. I was replenishing aisle 2 at the time. I was aware that given my wife’s short stature, she would be unable to reach the item (which was placed on the top shelf in aisle 6), I accompanied her there and retrieved the product for her, providing the same level of customer service I would to any other shopper. Aisle 2 was left unattended by me for approximately 45-60 seconds maximum.

 

Whilst still in the vicinity of aisle 6, I was approached by manager who led me at pace back to aisle 2. Where a fellow employee was in attendance.

My manager proceeded to raise his voice to me in an aggressive manner, reprimanding me for, in his own words, "chatting to your missus”. This exchange occurred on the shop floor, in the presence of a co worker and approximately 9-10 customers. I found this experience degrading.

 

My manager also used such phrases such as "watch your back" and "be very careful, I'm watching you", which I perceive to be threatening behaviour. When I asked in a reasonable manner, if I should clear away my whole cart for every customer enquiry, manager’s body language became ever more aggressive, and his response to my question was: "don't get cocky with me". I felt my question to be a fair one in the circumstances, and it remains unanswered.

 

Following this episode, he stormed off leaving me and my colleague down the aisle feeling somewhat bewildered and angry.

 

The overall behaviour of my manager during the aforementioned incidents have caused distress to me. I feel it is appropriate to mention that Manager is fully aware I suffer with low self esteem, and severe anxieties, symptoms of my depressive illness which I am working through with support from my GP.

 

I am finding the behaviour of manager intolerable and wish that his behaviour be addressed by senior management as a matter of urgency.

Should you wish further clarification of these incidents, please do not hesitate to contact me by writing to the address provided at the top of this letter.

Yours sincerely,

 

Bob XXXX

[ErikaPNP]

EDITED - duplicate posting!

[deathbycrayons]

Thank you so much, I have amended a few bits, and also added other incidents aswell. If I send it to you in a private message would you mind reading it and making any suggestions to improve it?

[ErikaPNP]

Hi,

 

I've had a read through the previous incidents and really have nothing to add; everything seems very well written, and non-confrontational on hubby's part.

 

Best wishes, and let us know how you get on.

[LancerQRL]

i witnessed one of the managers from the m supermarket tell the young lads (who had used their iniatives!!) to take all the sauasage rolls, pies and pasties out of the reduced price bags they had just put them in as it was THREE minutes to seven. then re-bag them after seven.

errrm!!!

[deathbycrayons]

i witnessed one of the managers from the m supermarket tell the young lads (who had used their iniatives!!) to take all the sauasage rolls, pies and pasties out of the reduced price bags they had just put them in as it was THREE minutes to seven. then re-bag them after seven.

errrm!!!

 

Sounds about right....

[deathbycrayons]

Thank you Erika Will let everyone know how it goes.

[bobbuilder]

Hi,

 

Can I ask has your husband discussed this with his manager?

 

Clearly, I can see that this is getting to your husband, but if he has not spoken to the manager then it is unrealistic to expect anything to change, if the manager does not see anything wrong in his actions (which he clearly doesn't if he keeps acting in the same way).

 

Generally, these types of matters are best to try to resolve informally in the first instance. I would suggest he talk it over with the manager informally or with the HR manager before submitted a formal grievance. I would suggest to do this if you get no joy from the informal approach. That was it shows your husband is trying to be reasonable and also gives you more levels of recourse to work with in the first instance.

[deathbycrayons]

Hi,

 

Can I ask has your husband discussed this with his manager?

 

Clearly, I can see that this is getting to your husband, but if he has not spoken to the manager then it is unrealistic to expect anything to change, if the manager does not see anything wrong in his actions (which he clearly doesn't if he keeps acting in the same way).

 

Generally, these types of matters are best to try to resolve informally in the first instance. I would suggest he talk it over with the manager informally or with the HR manager before submitted a formal grievance. I would suggest to do this if you get no joy from the informal approach. That was it shows your husband is trying to be reasonable and also gives you more levels of recourse to work with in the first instance.

 

Yes, hubby has tried a number of times to take the manager aside and talk to him, but the manager just walks off and says he's busy. Also, other people have raised greivance with this manager for his terrible attitude and bullying. The deputy manager has spoken to him about it informally too.

[deathbycrayons]

This just gets worse. I will start a new thread entitled "hubby suspended for theft"..

[deathbycrayons]

The latest on this thread http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/employment-problems/221580-hubby-suspended-theft-3.html

[Bookworm]

TBH, I would ask the team to actually merge both threads together as it gives a background and both incidents are obviously linked, it would make it easier to follow. ;-)

[merlin100]

Or you can do what I did some years ago when I found I was working for a complete a*se - got my wages on Friday night, waited while he was off the premises, then flattened him!

Cops called at my home next day - sorry officer? Wasnt me.

[deathbycrayons]

Or you can do what I did some years ago when I found I was working for a complete a*se - got my wages on Friday night, waited while he was off the premises, then flattened him!

Cops called at my home next day - sorry officer? Wasnt me.

 

Not helpfull.

[deathbycrayons]

Well, just to update you, just incase you haven't been following my other thread http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/employment-problems/221580-hubby-suspended-theft.html

The company didn't think that what the manager was doing to my hubby constituted as bullying. Which is ridiculous. Hubby has been invited to a mediated meeting to speak to the manager and work through their differences..

They only gave him 36 hours notice so he won't be attending, he's going to re-schedule it. Though I don't think he'll be returning to that place now anyway..

[deathbycrayons]

Hi all. Well, I'm pleased to say that in April 2010 they settled out of court and we got rather a lot of money.

[altobelli]

Good result. What about the bully - is he still there?