Strange things said at strange times.

[Tawnyowl]

Whats the funniest thing your husband or wife has said,at a totally unexpected time.;)Heres one that happened to me on Sunday.While watching a spectacular display by the Red Arrows on Sunday my wife spotted a cloud in the distance and said,"We had better go home ive left the washing out,and need to bring it in.Theres a storm brewing.:eek:"Will be if i go home now i thought I am beginning to worry about the obsession with washing as when we viewed the house the first thing she noticed and said was "oh good a washing line".Cant wait to hang the washing out,see it wafting about in the breeze.:eek:Perhaps i dont understand the importance of these matters.:roll:Tawnyowl

[jailbird]

I don't think there was anything wrong with her statement

 

I fainted once in my lounge and my ex husband husband asked what I was doing on the floor ! I told him I was checking the carpet for bits ! He was an Ambulance Man as well............barsteward

[hilaryfrances]

:Dmy husband has just put some decking down and I made hime cut a hole in it for the washing line as I would not let him move it.

 

you must not come between a woman and her line

 

be warned

[sillygirl1]

I think the best was Tilly at the St Albans meeting - offering MTM a 'blow job'.... she meant he could have the blow up bed we had with us! (Sorry Tilly & MTM but it brings a smile to my face everytime I think of both of your expressions!)

[texanbar]

Wow! Don't think I can match that one!

x:)x

[MONX]

My aunt (who I am named after) had a nasty head wound from a swimming accident, she was all propped up and bandaged in her hospital bed regaling us of how her accident happened, she told us that

 

"I dived into the pool but my foot slipped and I banged my head on the side of the pool, It knocked me out but the life guard dived in after me and took me to the side of the pool and gave me artificial insemination"

 

We all knew she meant respiration but we were howling with laughter for days on that one and she hasnt lived it down yet!

[locutus]

I friend of mine went to the hair dressers and asked for a "cut and blow job"

 

I was once asked at work "what time is the 11:15 break"

[Guest wino]

I had a really bad cold and was constantly blowing my nose for days. After one particular long nose blowing session I turned to my husband and said "You'd think my head would be empty by now". He just looked at me and smiled until I realised what I'd said:rolleyes:

[texanbar]

I sometimes get my words muddled, and when I phoned up my doctors surgery to make an appointment for my young daughter to see a doctor, I asked for a young doctor to see my daughter!

 

x:)x

[gyzmo]

My mother called me yesterday to tell me she had got a virgin. After howls of laughter from my dad drowining out the rest of the conversation, it dawned on me that she meant a Virgin sim card.

 

My mother also has a habit of asking daft questions about the obvious - for example:

 

Me "just going to the butchers"

Mum "what you going there for?"

Me "well I fancy the latest DVD releases so I'm going to the butcher to buy a house."

[gyzmo]

Just another one about my dad, who is not exactly politically correct, but not one to deliberately cause offence.

 

Watching the TV, he spotted a character whose head height was at waist level of another character.

 

"Whose the dwarf?" my dad asked.

 

The character was actually a non-vertically challenged person in a wheelchair. Only my dad could insult two groups of people in 3 words.

[Mungypup]

My parents live in the states, and people over there don't call cigarettes fags. Whilst they had company over my Dad was having a sneaky ciggy outside. My mother leaned out the window and shouted "for god's sake Frank, will you take that dirty fag out of your mouth". Everybody inside was in hysterics.

[woody1066]

Just another one about my dad, who is not exactly politically correct, but not one to deliberately cause offence.

 

Watching the TV, he spotted a character whose head height was at waist level of another character.

 

"Whose the dwarf?" my dad asked.

 

The character was actually a non-vertically challenged person in a wheelchair. Only my dad could insult two groups of people in 3 words.

 

You are Prince Charles and I claim my £50

[gyzmo]

Just asked my flatmate whether he wanted a brew.

 

He said "oh that reminds me, I need to check my bank account to see if that payment's gone through".

 

Dunno if he's bought shares in the East India Tea Company or not.