POLYCISTIC OVARIAN SYNDROME Advice please

[silverfox1961]

Hi all,

I have a young friend with the above condition (she's almost 22) and is in a dilemma.

 

The hospital have sort of said that she ought to think about having a baby sooner than later but her boyfriend doesn't want children yet.

She wants to try and convince him but either way we look at this someone is going to get hurt.

 

The theories bandied around so far are.

a) sit down with the B/F and try and convince him

 

b) sabotage condoms (not really an option as she would feel so guilty)

 

c) lay down the law with the B/F

 

The thing is, I don't think the B/F has any idea what my friend is going through. So long as it's not happening to him, he's not bothered.

 

The other issue is that if my friend leaves it till the B/F is ready and she can't conceive then she will hate him.

 

I want to advise her but I'm a humble bloke and while I can sympathise, I can't empathise.

 

She feels so alone

 

any help will be gratefully passed on.

 

fox

[silverfox1961]

Oh well, worth a try

[Bookworm]

So long as it's not happening to him, he's not bothered.

There's her answer, right there. She shouldn't make a baby with someone like that. Odds are that the guy will just do a runner sooner or later anyway.

 

Re: POCS, tell her to look at low-carb. It has been shown to give some very good results on women with PCOS to help with a lot of the issues.

[silverfox1961]

Thanks Bookie, my thoughts entirely but not something I could say to her. I will pass on the diet advice though.

 

I did put her onto the PCOS website which I hope will give her more info than I could.

 

I sometimes wish people didn't value my opinion so much (but it won't stop me )

[Bookworm]

If you need links for low-carb, let me know. Same of she wants recipes, etc...

[silverfox1961]

If you need links for low-carb, let me know. Same of she wants recipes, etc...

 

 

I'll let you know. I will contact her when she gets off work tonight

[Maggie_moo]

Hi Silverfox, I have polycystic ovaries. Has your friend been told how severe her condition is - on both ovaries, single or multiple cysts? They can also disappear, or shrink, or continue to grow, as this will affect her fertility percentage. If she hasn't been told already she should make an appointment to have what they found explained to her, as it's sometimes difficult to take it all in at first.

 

I conceived two gorgeous children, in my thirties, with only one ovary and tube (I lost the other due to this condition) so it's not impossible, but it can be difficult and enormously stressful. As Bookie has said if he's not interested already then the extra pressure would probably ruin the relationship anyway.

 

I'm sure she will find someone else who will want the same things as she does, and she's got a supportive friend .

 

Good luck

[silverfox1961]

Hi Maggie, Thanks for dropping in.

 

She was at the hospital yesterday and all they really said was that she ought to think about having children before the syndrome gets any worse. (she has fluctuating weight problems and excessive body hair)

 

I've told my friend that I think her B/F is a single man in a relationship and when it comes to responsibility, he's no good. Not that I don't like the fella. He is a nice person to know but when it comes down to what is important, he doesn't seem to take it in. (he's also domestically challenged)

 

I've recommended to my friend that she sits the B/F down and explain her situation and see what comes of it. He has to be willing or the relationship will be doomed.

[seanamarts]

Hi Fox

I too had PCOS, Unfortunately for me I had to have both taken away but not before they tried a small proceedure called an ovariansectomy, its where they basically quarterize the ovaries so you have a better chance of concieving, which I did on several occasions unfortunately I lost those due to other medical problems. Im with the others saying that the BF if not ready now will probebly not be ready in the future. However has your friend thought along the lines of having some eggs frozen for when she finds some one who will be ready, Im not sure how much it costd but im sure it will be worth it in the long run.. I wish her well

[natalie]

Okay, first of all it is a HUGE mistake having a baby with someone just because you want a baby. If that's the case then she can have a baby on her own, without any imput from bf. I'm not avocating that, but its a better option than trying to bully the poor guy into becoming a dad when he's had the guts and maturity to admit that he isnt ready.

 

What area does she live in? Because I think she needs to have a chat to a fertility consultant in depth, about her options.

 

I had IVF treatment, (and have beautiful twins, now 5) and my consultant, Professor Barlow of John Radcliffe hospital Oxford, is my hero. He talked me through every stage of my investigations and treatment and told me in simple terms what my options were, the risks associated with each option, and the likelihood of success.

 

My advice would be to get her GP to refer her to the fertility unit and speak to someone who deals specifically with fertility, rather than Gynae in general.

[silverfox1961]

Natalie,

Thank you so much for your input. An opinion from the opposite view is always welcome.

 

I will pass on your advice about chatting to the fertility expert

 

I don't have my friends permission to divulge too much info but safe to say the boyfriend comes across as not wanting children as he's "having fun"

 

thanks again

 

fox

[silverfox1961]

Hi Fox

I too had PCOS, Unfortunately for me I had to have both taken away but not before they tried a small proceedure called an ovariansectomy, its where they basically quarterize the ovaries so you have a better chance of concieving, which I did on several occasions unfortunately I lost those due to other medical problems. Im with the others saying that the BF if not ready now will probebly not be ready in the future. However has your friend thought along the lines of having some eggs frozen for when she finds some one who will be ready, Im not sure how much it costd but im sure it will be worth it in the long run.. I wish her well

 

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I will pass on the info.

She works and lives at home so she could save for the freezing process.

 

Thanks

fox