Avoiding a social event in works hours - urgently

[darren555uk]

IF anyone wants to PM me for more specifics please feel free - any help is appreciated!

 

 

 

[darren555uk]

Sorry original text did not post??

 

We are about to have a staff party - starting in work hours and based at an open air location - the issue is, I would rather not attend and would rather carry on with my job. The basic reasons for this are:

 

1- I would rather work, I am behind on some targets and very busy.

2- My partner will not go to my works events due to the ahem 'behavior' at the last one, and I am deeply embarrassed by other peoples conduct (I was not there)

3- Someone was sexually assaulted at the last event, and still suffers the ill effects.

 

So far, I can establish that in contractual hours, the company can pretty well expect me to attend! I doubt that they would approve holiday for the date either!

 

I cannot explain too much about the behavior without betraying the confidence of those around me - I would never do that (hence the fake user name here, and vauge descriptions!)

 

I also do not trust myself to keep my temper, that is what I fear the most!

 

I am dreading this - deeply, and may try to offer to:

 

- Cover the office.

- Take a days holiday.

 

I am prepared to say I have a moral objection, but then cannot go into too much more details!!! My Managing Director is a reasonable person, but has put a lot of work into getting us as far as this event!

 

When I wanted to avoid the first ever event, I got hauled up and quizzed on it - I guess aside from general advice, I am asking...

 

1- Can I be expected to provide further details, or is it acceptable just to say no!

 

2- Can I be fired, etc for breech of contract, for wanting to stay in the office and work?

 

3- How would everyone else approach this, I do not want to put anyone else off, cause any trouble, or ruin moral - other people do not want to go, but that is their battle, not mine!!

 

I hate sexual harassment in the workplace! It ruins a perfectly enjoyable job!

 

Thanks in advance for any advice!

[vengeancedemon]

It's maybe a cop-out, but maybe you could have a bout of "diplomatic stomach upset" having given the idea that you will be going to this event?

 

Saves any on going embarrassement of having to explain/justify your moral objections and the festering nausea that may result.

 

Its a lie, sure, but how many of us have used a simple unchallengeable thing to avoid something we dont want to do/go to

[darren555uk]

Very good advice, but I do not want to spoil a 100% perfect non sick record for two years!

 

I do genuinly like the company and the director so I really, really do not want to tell fibs - in fact I might mention if I get around to saying I do not want to go - that please note I am being 100% upfront and honest - curse my morality!

 

You never know, I could just get ill thinking about it!

 

Teehee

 

Besides I guess that the problem will re-occur in the next one anyway, out of hour ones I just say I am busy and feel somewhat happy because I am generally busy anyway so I do not feel bad for saying it!

 

Just chewing over on this one, I see no option but to:

 

1. Fess up that I really do not want to go.

2. Suck it in, go, for the minimum period of time available, hope that I do not see anything I do not want to see.

 

Hmmmm....

 

My work record is clean, never been sick, late, in trouble, never been justifiably complained against - so hopefully they can respect that?

 

Does anyone know the legal worst they can do - my contact does cover attending works events during office hours!

 

The first one was the worst, because some people in the office made a fuss that I was not going - very nice of them indeed , the second one I got away with by making it sounds like I was going to go - until it was too late.

 

I am so glad I did not attend the second one!

 

 

But thanks for the initial idea - I shall be considering the pros and cons and it is a superb backup plan!

[patdavies]

Since it is outdoor, I would inform them that it will bring on your hay fever.

 

I would also question if any risk assessments have been carried out with regard to being outdoors in the impending heatwave and how are they qualified to go against government advice to stay indoors and keep cool.

[darren555uk]

Lol - love that approach! do not want to spoil anything for the majority who are happy to go however the company is being very good to put this on, and the MD is not aware of peoples concerns that much ;-)

 

Brill advice however, I will of course assume that a risk assesment will be undertaken Guess the company first aiders and HR manager will have to stay sober at least!

 

;-)

[darren555uk]

keep the advice coming its all good!

Thanks everyone.

[AaronM]

If you MD is a resonable man could you not just tell him what you have posted here? Would prob be the most direct and truthful route.

[darren555uk]

I think I will - I shall of course expect disappointment, and he may want to try and find out why - but I am allowed some secrets in life (I hope!)

Lol.

 

Thanks everyone!

[Guest Old_andrew2018]

If alcohol is involved tell him you have religious objections to its consumption and respectfully must decline the invite.

Edited June 28, 2009 by old_andrew2007

[flipper79]

Say you've had a bad experience from a work related social event in a previous job (mind you, who hasn't), and you now have a phobia of such events and would rather take leave for the day or do your normal job. Make it clear that it's just the event you have a problem with and nothing to do with the people or having to socialise with your work colleagues. You're more or less telling the truth then, plus you're being more forceful about it.

 

I would say just be totally honest about it, but some employers may see it as negative towards their 'team building' attempts.

 

Personally, I've always found these kinda work parties a strange and stupid idea....every year at the xmas party, where I work, at least 5-10 people get sacked in the aftermath!

[darren555uk]

Love that idea - but they know I am somewhat of a non believer - lol

 

Any other alcohol based objects that anyone can think of - like the thread!

[darren555uk]

Thanks for this one - its a done deal (because I was so reluctant to go to the first one it will seem realistic!!)

 

Say you've had a bad experience from a work related social event in a previous job (mind you, who hasn't), and you now have a phobia of such events and would rather take leave for the day or do your normal job. Make it clear that it's just the event you have a problem with and nothing to do with the people or having to socialise with your work colleagues. You're more or less telling the truth then, plus you're being more forceful about it.

 

I would say just be totally honest about it, but some employers may see it as negative towards their 'team building' attempts.

 

Personally, I've always found these kinda work parties a strange and stupid idea....every year at the xmas party, where I work, at least 5-10 people get sacked in the aftermath!

[Guest Old_andrew2018]

So your a non-believer, You'll burn in hell Lol, you could argue that you find people getting dysinhibited by drink embarrassing so would rather not go.

[havinastella]

I'd go to the event, get ****ed and sleep with the local work whore.

 

Why worry about it, enjoy

[darren555uk]

Lol, cheers everyone that had all made me smile and been very helpful (to others also I hope!)

 

Fingers crossed, really I just want them to move it to out of work hours as well - because it would be better for everyone and no obligation for me to go!

 

I actually do want it to go well for the people who want to go you see!

 

[Conniff]

You could, of course, adhere to the contract you signed, stop whinging and being a stick in the mud and do what you're paid to do and go as expected.

[ErikaPNP]

I regularly refuse to participate in social events held during working hours. Whether I am viewed as a sour-puss or not I couldn't really care less. I have a deal with them - I do the duties specified within my job desccription, and they pay me a salary for it. I didn't sign up for social events. I've nothing against them and have no objection to others who wish to partake, I however don't wish to partake and there's not a single solitary thing they can do to force it upon me, try as they might.

 

Mostly they know full well how I am and leave me be but if they get arsey I argue health and safety/risk assessments/liability insurance. Or I simply stick my job description on the desk of the organiser and ask for it to be pointed out exactly where it says I must partake in social events.

my contact does cover attending works events during office hours!

Mine states something similar, about attending work events during contractual hours. I highlight the word "work". Unless the event covers something that is within my remit or is a part of a training or team building exercise, is held within my place of work or in a place which has been fully risk assessed for the purpose, and has agreed "reasonable adjustments" implemented for all staff with medical conditions/disabilities whom have reasonable adjustments assessments in place for their everyday work, it is not a "work" event, it is a "social" event which holds no benefit to the employers as a business or me as an employee, particularly where alcohol and horseplay are a feature.

 

I will participate willingly in team building events which are work based and work focused, but not in alcohol fueled social events that have nowt to do with the work I am employed to do.

Edited June 29, 2009 by ErikaPNP

[flipper79]

You could, of course, adhere to the contract you signed, stop whinging and being a stick in the mud and do what you're paid to do and go as expected.

 

I'm confused, in what way is this event part of the contract he signed? Just because it's in office hours doesn't mean your employer could demand you attend a party away from the normal work area with alcohol provided. Don't think it makes him a stick in the mud either. It's one thing to go out with your mates and get bladdered but making a t** out of yourself in front of your work colleagues is quite different.

 

And no, it wouldn't be breach of contract not to attend unless it was necessary to the work you do i.e. trying to impress potential clients.

Any sensible employer would arrange this kind of party out of work hours.