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The Queen - god bless her.

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Queen: Philip, one has come to a monumental decision.


Philip: Not again Liz! Last time you did that we ended up having Edward.


Queen: No! I'm going to dissolve parliament, all these money grabbing barstewards running the country.


Philip: What! Who is going to bloody run it then?


Queen: We are. The whole family!


Philip: What like the bloody Mafia?


Queen: Look you can run the Foreign Office, you're good with Jonny foreigner.


Philip: True.


Queen: And we have natural leaders for every job in the cabinet - Charles can handle the environment, Zara can do sport and of course Harry can handle immigration policy!


Philip: Actually on reflection it's a great idea!


Queen: Too right it is. Now Windsor or Balmoral?


Philip: What about them?


Queen: For the second home allowance!

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