New notice for your front door to repel DCA's..

[Undercover-Elsa]

+

SWINE FLU

NO ADMISSION

PLEASE NOTE

DCA's are doubly susceptible due to genetic similarities with both sources of this mutation.

If you are close enough to read this notice you are already infected.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO NOW

Go back to your office and shake hands with as many of your colleagues as possible.

__________________________________

[lickthewallfatboy]

like your style

[Thailand]

Would the DCA be wise enough to know swine flu hasn't hit our shores yet?...probably not.

 

(Notices OP's name and hopes she doesn't say it has!)

[ashmk]

UK Shores ?? Its here.

[Undercover-Elsa]

Unfortunately, it has....

Swine flu confirmed in UK | World news | guardian.co.uk

 

I was intriqued to note that the first person to die in Mexico from this disease was stated on the news as a "door to door collector".. which did make me wonder about DCA's!! However it seems that the poor woman was a Tax Collector who also had diabetes, so lower resistance to infection. She's being compared to "Typhoid Mary"

Elsa x

[Undercover-Elsa]

PS: but it does give more reason, and strengthen our resolve AND our legal right not to admit ANY unexpected callers!!!

[Thailand]

Yep, just looking at the stickies in the Travel in the media forum...

 

Can't they all be quarantined in the DCA's threat centres.

[Thailand]

*prints off sign*

[Undercover-Elsa]

[quote

*prints off sign* :grin:

]

Casually displaying a sombrero in the front window might help too....

[Blondmusic]

LMAO. Very good sign. Is it ok for me to print a copy off?

[RW Fugitive]

*prints off sign*

 

LMAO

[Undercover-Elsa]

Can't they all be quarantined in the DCA's threat centres.

An excellent idea. They could adapt their Dick Turpin masks...

[ashmk]

Can you add to the sign

 

'I reserve the right to cough on you'

 

Or would that be seen as attacking someone ?

[Undercover-Elsa]

Can you add to the sign

 

'I reserve the right to cough on you'

 

Or would that been seen as attacking someone ?

They couldn't accuse us of attacking them as they have written often enough asking us to "cough up"

[hallowitch]

the bloke in hospital thats just back from honeymoon works for the same company as my sister not sure if it the same department she works in debt collection department

[joemay]

They couldn't accuse us of attacking them as they have written often enough asking us to "cough up"

 

hehehe:D

[Undercover-Elsa]

I'm blushing now.Thankyou all for the scale tips!!

I was a bit giddy this morning, having had another doorstepper who literally ran off down the drive when my VERY large dogs hurled themselves at the (locked) door. Cleanest pair of heels I ever did see

Elsa x

[ukaviator]

 

Very cruel . . . i like it. .

[meerkatsmimm]

Hi Elsa,

 

Loving your notice, would have it up now only I dont want our neighbours to start wearing haz-matt suits around us....

 

The other thing to invest in is one of those face masks so many were wearing in Mexico on the news last night. Turn up to the door in one of those and hand over your notice to some unwelcome dca....

 

Good to see your woofer is protecting his owner, great loyalty dogs show and especially when times are tough. Keep your chin up x

[kiptower]

only problem . you will have to read it to the "thicko's" you dont expect them to be able to read do you

[Undercover-Elsa]

Hmmm maybe I should do a pictorial version...

[Pinky69]

I'm not expecting any debt collectors at the door but if any do come I am just going to let out an enormous sneeze all over him/her and say " Oh sorry, and I've just been diagnosed with Swine Flu. Let me shake your hand by way of apology."

[MARTIN3030]

Nice one.

 

Dont suppose Crudit Today or the CSA will be featuring this on their websites......they are ohhh sooooooo ungrateful:rolleyes:

[Desperate Daniella]

Just love your notice.

 

Q What happened when the pig came back from Mexico?

 

A The Swine flew

[angry cat]

AAAAAATICHOOOO!

 

If you have been advised of a Home Visit;

Have a Big box of kleenex handy;

plus a mask;

go to the door coughing & sneezing (white pepper will do the job nicely)

 

AC