advice about disciplinary at work ??

[billy1978]

advice about disciplinary at work ??

 

i have been suspended from work pending investigation

 

I work with ex girlfriend and we split on bad terms

 

she knows how to wind me up, i bought her a gift and gave it to her

she gave me it back on my desk

 

i threw it into her office because i did not want it ahd had told her to bin it if she did not want it

 

I got a filenote on record for that, and told never to speak to her again

 

On friday i had house inspection and haver her cat , not allowed pets so gave her it back outside of work.

I came back to work and got on with work

 

Her friend came into office and told me they were taking cat to rescue centre, I asked for cat back because wanted him to have a good home

 

Ex refused and i took cat off her, she pulled tshirt and punched me as I got cat off her in cage

 

I left site shaken , took cat to sisters to live and told my boss i would not be back that afternoon

 

Now i have been suspended for pushing members of staff and injuring one of them, which is potential gross misconduct

 

also for leaving site with no explanation , even though was on my lunch break ? and i had informed my boss what had happened

 

I have been having problems with custody of my daughter and family problems and still not really over my divorce, so am going to counselling to try get head together

 

I just don't know what to do, i never assaulted ex or her friend just wanted cat to go to good home

 

Ex provoked me by bringing cat to work after i was trying to keep everything proffessional and away from work

 

 

Any advice or support would be appreciated, its just such a mess now

[Sidewinder]

Although I can't fully understand everything which you have said above, I think I get the gist of it. All that I can suggest is that you explain everything to your employer as you have tried to do here. Fundamentally you have had a relationship with somebody from work which has ended badly. Whilst you have been trying to act normally, you feel that your ex has been taking every opportunity to make life difficult and you are now being blamed unfairly for something which you haven't done.

 

If there was no pushing or assault on your part then you must say so and make a counter allegation - after all you were so shaken that you left for the afternoon - you presumably told your manager why at the time? If stress outside of work is affecting your job, then tell your boss and seek some help.

 

If this is ever going to get better then you must have absolutely nothing to do with your ex at work - no presents, words, nothing.

 

Hope everything works out for you.

[p_cas]

Oh dear!

 

There's several things I cant understand either.

 

Why are you buying her presents if youve split up? Why are you giving her the present at work? Why are you throwing it at her when she returns it? This all sounds like childish behavior.

 

If youre not allowed pets in your property and it was her cat, getting in a fight at work over what she intends to do with it is, basically, nothing to do with you.

 

I also think 'telling your boss' you werent coming back that afternoon is very different from booking a half day's holiday in advance with the approval of your boss. Couldnt you have taken the cat round your sisters in the evening?

 

You say youve been trying to keep everything professional but it doesnt really sound like it to be honest. I think you need to wait until the outcome of the investigation then take it from there, oh and perhaps find another job where you dont have to work with your ex.