Feel Like theres only one way out.

[gettingbackon track]

Hi Daniella,

thanks so much for your kind words. It makes me really sad to think about the physical and mental state that debt can send us to. I hate these agressive companies, they have no idea of the misery and pressure they cause with their un-relentless bullying.

The advice i would give to anybody feeling suicidal is to remeber that this debt is a temporary chapter in life. Even if it takes 2-3 years to become more managable, there is always a solution. Even bankruptcy is better than ending your life. I am repaying debts now, it is difficult but somehow i am managing better than before. It really hurts to know that my partner has gone forever and will miss out on our old age and our childrens future, maybe grandchildren too, all because of an extremely difficult chapter in our lives. I'm angry when i think what we have lost and i want somebody to blame. However, i have to stay strong for the children, and being angry doesn't bring him back. Even though i have stopped the repossession, i sit alone every evening and the house means nothing to me now. I would rather have lost the house and kept my partner. His actions were so final for a temporary phase in our lives. I have no answers, he left no notes. I spend most days thinking and wondering about things for which i will never have answers. So again, i would urge anybody reading this who is feeling suicidal to see the bigger, long term picture, and the life long devastation that will be left with your loved ones if you choose this action

[reorete]

my heart goes out to you xxx your post made me cry.keep your chin up there are a lot of kind people here that will help and support you through this.dont despair there is light at the end of this tunnel xxx

[Mum2Four]

Debt is a horrible situation to be in, and I can sympathise totally with all that's been said. The worst thing you can do is keep it all to yourself, we are all in the same situation in varying degrees, all of us have felt at some point I am sure that 'there's only one way out', I know I have, several times. Don't ever be scared to admit how you feel and seek help, I am on 'happy pills' and they do help me get things in perspective. Yes, it is very hard at times, with four children who really do not understand why we can't go out every day and buy ice creams and magazines and bits and pieces that they have always taken for granted until all this happened. Now the money is just not there, we have enough for essentials but that's it. I ignore the phone. If DCA's leave a message, I delete it. I have sent the 'telephone harrassment' letter to all of them, I am paying a token payment. That's all they can have from me. For your own peace of mind just gain some control of the situation, this forum has helped me so much during the past ten months. However bad you feel things are, speak to someone, vent your frustration on here, we've all been there/ or are still there, you are never alone.

[debtdeception]

Thanks SIB and Boston3603.

I ran my own business for 21 years, but for the last 5 years it was struggling and I ended up unable to take a salary and borrowed money to fund both my life and the business to try and turn it around. It just about turned around and went cash flow positive February 2008 and we celebrated because that meant within 2 months I could start taking a salary and the business would be able to start repaying the loans I had made to it. Unfortunately the credit crunch happened, the bank cancelled our factoring and our customers (in the building trade) delayed a load of projects we were working on, all in March 08. The result was that the business went under in July 08. This left me with over £524,000 of debts and loan guarantees to cover.

 

I had no way of sorting this out and no income. I could not pay anything and did not find this site until a month ago. My house was repossessed, my kids and dog had to go and live with my ex-wife, my girlfriend's mother got sick so she returned to Turkey to look after her and couldn't then get a visa to return to England and I am now homeless moving around from place to place staying with friends, sleeping in people's spare rooms and on sofa's and so on.

 

I now know that if I had found this site and the information I have learned from hear and other resources on the internet I would not only have been able to keep my home but also would have been able to clear most of my unsecured debts and been able to significantly reduce my payments of the secured debts. I would not be homeless and would still have my family life.

 

The resources to help you are here and you should also check out the CCCS. I have learned so much in the last 6 months and really feel sad that I did not learn these lessons sooner, but glad that the resources are now available to other people that they can get the help they need.

 

I am just in the process of getting a basic cash card bank account as A&L closed my account when I asked for the £2000 of bank charges back. Once that is completed in a few days I will then file for bankruptcy. Will have to seek out for advice on that when the time comes.

 

I have been through a lot of depression during the last 18 months and have resisted going to the doctors as I do not want to be on drugs. The depression at times has been unbearable but I know I cannot go any lower, so the only way is up. There is nothing more they can do to me. When I lost my house I got all my mail redirected to my brother's house and have not looked at it for the last 6 months. (My brother is getting a bit depressed reading the though:D).

 

Since this has all happened I have been able to help a lot of other people I meet with advice, letters they can send, resources they can access and have built up a lot of knowledge. It is really good to be able to now give that help to others and have them write to me and thank me. It would have been nice to hae known this stuff last year, but at least I can help others.