Stop the World - I Want to Get Off

[ohoh4312]

I really need someone to talk to, but I am here on my own, so sorry, but I need to unload.

 

We are in severe financial difficulty, like 1000's of others, but just lately I feel that life really hates us - it's been knock after knock, and I just can't take any more.

 

OH finally got a secure (so we thought) job abroad last year, and the plan was to clear everything here, by going bankrupt, and then all move to a better place with a brighter future.

 

Just signed a rental on a property where he is working, and the kids and I were going out half-term to sort out schools etc.

 

Last week we received a LO from the csa - long story, but I was dealing with it.

 

Monday he gets told that the UK arm of the company he is with has no work, so they are bringing the managers out there, to save on redundancy costs. Consequently, he is being laid off with immediate effect.

 

Big blow, but not to be beaten, he goes around the other sites and gets a job back on the tools - bit of a step down but needs must and all that.

 

Starts today, and within 2 hours of being on site, he is asked to leave and forcibly escorted off site. Apparently, because the manager that sacked him reckons it is unethical for him to be doing the plastering for a sub-contractor to the same company. Happens all the time actually in the industry and never been a problem in 20 odd years.

 

So now we have a flat that we can't afford because he has no job, have paid for flights that we can't cancel, and to top it all the csa don't believe that he is abroad because he is still registered at this address, and are demanding over 2 grand to be paid immediately, on top of the LO!

 

So I am sitting here in tears - can't even check my spelling because my eyes are so blurry, and I just don't know what to do, and more importantly can't work out why life is so unfair to us. No angels, to be sure, but we really don't feel we deserve this much s**t.

 

Even the extra strong anti-depressants I have been on for a couple of months don't seem to be working anymore.

 

I really can't take anymore - if it wasn't for the kids I know what I would do, but I can't, so I am really stuck.

 

Sorry for unburdening on you all. xx

[fedup74]

You unburden all you want. That's what CAG is about- sharing your troubles and having the support of people. You have your family and no money in the world can buy the love of your children. It's not surprising you are feeling the way you do, this is a lot of sh*t to cope with. Could you go back to your doctors and maybe get a different prescription? Some anti-depressants can actually cause them thoughts that you are having. Imagine the despair your family would feel- I've been through this with my younger brother- he was 22. This was 11 years ago and the pain is still so heartbreaking. I don't know what to advise about the csa or LO sorry, I just wanted to lend my shoulder and my ears so you know you're not alone. You can come here any time and unburden and there will always be people here for you. Just remember you have your lovely kids and they are the most important thing in the world and you are the most important thing to them.

 

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[hilaryfrances]

flipping heck you are having a lot of bad luck arent you, I hope someone comes on here that can help you with prcticle advice. I, like fedup can only offer you sympathy. Your hubby may get another job so dont loose all hope, then you can all fly off to a new life

[sosumi]

It's okay to unburden xx

First things first, try not to dwell on how it all seems to be happening at once. You and your hubby have got some practical issues to deal with, but you have to do that together.

Second but equally important, if those antidepressants aren't working you must go back to your GP and explain. Fedup is right, some antidepressants can actually increase bleak feelings, so it's vital that you talk it through with your GP. He or she needs to review the medication you're on, so you must tell your GP how you feel.

You know, like we all know, a lot of people will be feeling the same as you right now (that is, feeling desperately worried about the situation they're in). But it is also very important to remember that feeling guilty about the way you feel will only make you feel worse! So focus on yourself, your hubby and kids, try to work through the practical problems together and enlist as much help as you can. Go and see your GP.

It will be okay, you just can't see a way through the woods yet. That doesn't mean it isn't there, so please be patient with yourself. xx

Edited January 29, 2009 by sosumi

[ohoh4312]

Thank you all for your kind words and advice - bloody well made me bawl my eyes out again though, but for a very different reason.

 

I have taken on board the advice about the tablets, but if it's ok with you all I am going to give it another week - I don't think any amount of medication would help at the moment, and I am very concerned about becoming dependant on the meds; I watched my mum get totally addicted to sleeping tablets, so much so that she would go into freefall panic mode when there were only 3 left, in case the repeat script wasn't fulfilled in time. Really don't want to go there yet.

 

But I assure you that I will go the GP if I don't feel any better - I may even take up the counselling offer that I initially refused.

 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart - the dark cloud may not have lifted yet, but there are tiny cracks appearing.

 

I won't give up hope yet, now I know there are wonderful people out there who will share my woes, even when they may have problems of their own.

 

Eternally grateful xx

[angel_1]

hiya

 

i just found your thread and i want to give you my support too, i do have an understanding of partly what you are now experiencing ,life throws stuff at you and at times it just feels overwhelming

 

but amongst all that like others have already said,you do have your kids and your hubby

 

yes the meds may be the trouble, and i would really urge you to take the councelling, it really has helped me,

 

then you will be able to deal with all the practical stuff in your own way and with your hubby, and we will help and direct you as much as we can

 

pls do not despair, a year on , i remember those feelings i had similar to you but now im a lot stronger and yes, ive learned so much from cag and my friends here, that things can slowly improve

 

take care and always remember to post here and we will always reply

 

laters to all too

 

keep positive

 

angel x:)

Edited January 30, 2009 by angel_1

[bainmarie]

Hiya, Just wanted to add my support, I know it must seem overwhelming at the moment, I've only recently found this site but I've got some brilliant advice and loads of support from everyone here. I feel more positive and a bit more in control now. Hang in there, look at your kids and hubby and you will get thru it.xxx

[lollipop73]

Oh Love, it will be alright you know, it seems awful at the moment but it isn`t too much for you to bear.

 

Your right to think of your kids, they will pull you through.

 

Sending you my best wishes.

[Jaffa1961]

I wanted to offer support too. I know it seems hard to believe but the despair you're feeling now will pass.

 

Utilise your friends and family network and keep tuning in here....