Depression/debts, and a way forward.

[Desperado£]

Hi to you all

I’ve been a member on here for some time now and have just decided to pluck up the courage to reach out for help.

I don’t really know where to start and how to ask for help from people I don’t even know, suppose in some way I am too independent but I find now my family and friends are concerned for me so I owe it to them to sort out my finances and take control of my life and not burry my head into the sand.

To date I owe nearly £40,000. I’m self employed and have no work at the present (due to lack of self esteem, interest in life etc, etc). I’m surviving on what is left on my credit card, falling behind with payments on another, yellow pages about to take court action, bank charges running high, tax returns not up to date.

The doctor has confirmed I have depression and put me on antidepressants just over three weeks ago, every day I wake up I say ‘this is the day I’m going to take control of my life’, I start off with good intentions then retreat to the back patio, smoke and drink tea and watch the birds feed from the garden, just feel so low when this happens. I know I’m a victim of my own circumstances and don’t quite understand why I have allowed myself to get in this mess.

My question is! Is there any way I can ask my creditors for time to pull myself together and take control of my debts. I have outstanding invoices just failed to recover them.

Just want to get motivated again.

Has anyone else been in this situation and pulled themselves out?

[MARTIN3030]

Welcome to the site.

Getting to grips with your circumstances,and taking control of your life again,is something everyone can do with support from those around them.

You have taken the first step in acknowledging that there has to be a begining for all things,a way forward,and a foundation from which to start.

No one can tell you it will be easy-and I think you know it wont be.

But you have made the start by coming here to tell of your plight.

Dealing with any problem whether they are tiny,or whether they are massive,still requires a will to sort it,a belief that it can be done,but more importantly-a structured plan that allows progress and management.

Once you have taken control-then things will be easier.

I will move your thread to another forum I think will be best placed to give you more answers.

[Guest dvdriley]

take one day at a time

[LilyLou]

If you lived near me I would do your tax returns for you, that would be 1 less thing to worry about. I have just seen the light after 9 months of depression/anxiety, know exactly what you mean about 'good intentons' had them every day until 6 weeks ago.

 

Regards

LilyLou

[sillygirl1]

If you are anywhere near me maybe I could help with sorting out who is owed what and what stage the stuff is at. I'm now 2 years down the line and still some sneaky DCAs are trying to play games... however had I known 5 years ago what I know now I probably wouldn't have been in that boat.

 

If you PM me maybe I can help out with some advice - particularly on how to counteract insomnia... and help get you a bit more organised.

[MARTIN3030]

Forgot to add-if you have outstanding invoices due to you,then you should do your best to call them in-since this will help you sort out your own creditors.

I dont know what your business is-but presumably you have 30 day accounts ?

Dont ignore the outstanding invoices-write to the creditors and tell them that you are awaiting your own customers settling accounts with you.

Offer a token remittance against your arrears-it is better to let them know that you are not avoiding settlement-to say or do nothing makes matters hard to deal with later.

For those things that you may need to be ordering - offer to pay for them by Cod or pro forma.

Keep us posted on how things go.

As you have seen-theres people here who have been in the same place-and are prepared to help you through this.

[Desperado£]

Thank you for all your post, help and advice etc…

My new partner has been extremely supportive over the past 18 months but I know it’s me that has to take the initiative and try to pull myself together; furthermore she lost her favourite aunt last weekend who committed suicide, so I have to be strong now and step in the right direction.

I don’t quite know how the system works, presently I don’t have an income and no savings, it wouldn’t take me long to obtain work, just got to make some phone calls and of course recover money that is due to me from outstanding invoices. Yellow Pages is my main concern at the moment with threatening court action, they admitted a mistake last year where they failed to take out D/D for 07/08 they then demanded payment in full and for the year 08/09 totalling to just over £900.00. I don’t have any objection in paying them I just want time to get back on my feet yet fear they may be unsympathetic the same I fear with a credit card company who I owe also just over £900.00 (now missing three payments).

Never had a problem in the past, I’ve never even had a CCJ, just hope that as each day goes by the medication gives me the self esteem and confidence I once had, I feel like it is working else I would not be here. Depression is a horrible thing and my friends and family feel helpless so I owe to them as well as myself.

Once again thank you for your support.

[Desperado£]

Thank you Martin, just read your post and have taken your good advice. Just in the process of sorting out my creditors.

Will let you know of the outcome. One day at a time hey!!

[MARTIN3030]

Good.

 

If you have evidence to prove Yellow Pages slipped up then thats good.

 

If they start threatening,tell them you will use this in any defence should they issue any proceedings,but again try to offer a token payment.If they did file a claim against you,then for this amount it would go in small claims.(You would have every opportunity to put over your case) and if you have no income then would be dealt with sympathetically.

Given your circumstances I would write to them saying that your current position prevents you from settling the account in full.Should they take you to Court,you will apply for the hearing to be transferred to your local Court given that you will be a litigant in person,with limited resources,and they are a well sourced company.

If your business is in your name as opposed to a company,then you have many benefits.

 

Credit card companies have been the subject of investigation in late 2008,and have been ordered to be more sympathetic to customers in arrears-as well as being forced to lower interest charges-again these can be sorted so dont leave it.Your clean credit record will at least be in your favour,in that creditors will see that you have no history of default or evasion.

 

Who is your card issuer-what type of card-when was it taken out and have they been in touch ?

 

Edited January 10, 2009 by MARTIN3030

[king123]

Don't blame yourself for the depression. It's a disease and a crippling one at that. I speak from experience.

 

It sounds to me like you're not too far into financial trouble for your situation to be irredeemable. If that's true it's certainly worth doing all you can to avoid defaults and CCJs on your credit record. Don't ignore the problem. If you're not up to facing your creditors yourself perhaps you could try the CAB or similar? WHat you need to be doing I think is calling in money owed to you and getting a repayment plan set up with your creditors, one which is sufficient to have them refrain from filing defaults. Defaults will make it very hard for you to borrow in the future. Also, take up the kind offers of help you've been receiving.

 

This is just my thinking having let my finances slide into bedlam. You can refer to my own thread for the gruesome details if you like

 

Good luck!

[Chris1933]

You've found the right site desperado£, just one thing to mention, if you start earning again soon, don't go hell for leather trying to pay back everything at once.

 

Thats the mistake i made and there is nothing more sole destroying than working every hour god sends to have nothing to show for it at the end.

 

I'm not saying shirk your responsabilities and sort the priority debts out first but make sure there's a little left in the pot at the end of the week/month for you and your family. You're health is more important than anything and we all need some us time (whether it be a trip to the movies with the wife or whatever)

 

It's a vicious circle we get trapped in, but once you start to break it then all aspects start to improve. In the not too distant future you will be posting on here helping and advising other people on here with their problems, i promise.

 

Goodluck

 

Chris

[littletinypieces]

I just want to say congratulations on making the step to admit things and reach out. It is a big achievement.

 

As impossible as it may seem right now there are ways out of even the worst situation and in starting to deal with you are making a big step and things will start to become moe positive. I have found that a lot of time what has the biggest effect on us is fear of the unknown and once you start to face up to things the fear will start to dissolve.

 

CAG is a great place to get help and advice so if there is anything you are worried or unsure about then do post.

 

Good luck!

[purpleperson]

Hi there,

 

Just wanted to say hello really and I'm another one who knows how you feel. I gave up my employed job about a year ago after being signed off with depression for a few months, this was shortly after being made redundant from a long term employed position. I didn't want to give in so I became self employed, and you can see from my thread on here what a state I'm in now.

 

Depression is a horrible illness and I know how difficult it can be. Getting medical support is the right thing to do. Have you been offered counselling? You can get about 6 counselling sessions with the NHS. There may be a waiting list but it's worth it, I found it very helpful.

 

Good luck to you.