Help with CAMHS

[mina2974]

I am in bits right now, the school have now decided to report me to social services and have got cahms to contact me as they feel I need "extra support"

 

They did not follow correct procedure and someone from the La is going to a meeting at the school with me on monday, I stepped in before them and called social services myself as my son is in pain

cant type anymore as am too upset

will update later

Mina2974

[tiglet]

OK Mina - social services are there to help YOU, not to take your son away. This may actually end up being a good thing because they will help and support you to fight for your son's rights. I should imagine the social worker will be from the Children with disability's team - trust me, they have seen it all before.

 

Extra support is not necessarily a bad thing - it may well help you a lot.

 

Did you report the matter to the police and take photos as Bookie stated?

[mina2974]

Hi

 

Sorry for being soft befor, there has been a lot to deal with today, the reason I got so upset is that my son is now 11, the last time he had a public meltdown he was 4 years old! something went very wrong at that school to make this happen.

 

Last week I had to contact the school about some bullying of a racist nature after finding a note that my daughter wrote, in one week my son had his head hit against a hand dryer, one daughter was kicked and pushed to the ground and another pushed to the ground by a boy who tried to force her to kiss him.

 

I am convinced that the reason my sons behaviour is getting so bad is because of the bullying and negative atmosphre at the school, I am going to call the police when my husband gets home so that I have some support while I talk to them, I have contacted my outreach worker and asked her if she is willing to be my personal support and have done everything possible to organise an effective support network for all of my family, I call social services myself as I did not want the school to but do feel it could be a very good move,

the school has failed to supply a list of approved people to handle these situations, they have not followed correct procedure as far as documenting the incident and they have failed to supply the sen policy and restraint policy, the school are 100% blaming my son for the incident but he reacted, he did not intend to cause this situation, they ignored everything that I told them and had a battle of wills with a scared little boy.

I am angry and upset that my child has been labled abusive by this school, my son has never hit another child, he hurts himself not others, just because he does not yet have a clincal diagnosis they thought they had the right to ignore everything that I told them and are trying to make it look like I am not coping with my children,

 

I am angry, I am upset but I can and do cope, it is the school who did not cope, its them that are hurting my child not me!

Thank you for those links bookie:D they are fantastic, big kiss from my son to you

Mina2974

[mina2974]

Have been advised to take my son to hospital as the bruising and pain in his arm has got a lot worse, will update once he has been seen

 

 

Mina2974

[Bookworm]

Have you contacted the police yet? The longer you leave it, the least plausible you become. also if SS get involved, you don't want to risk that they'll try to blame you or your husband for the injuries, so you MUST document it ASAP with police. Sorry, but that's the reality of it.

[mina2974]

I have contacted the police but we are still waiting for them to come and see him, same with social services, I took him to the local hospital and made them document my sons injuries and took photos to make sure that I also have proof of the injury, the hospital were great and put down in the notes how this has affected my son emotionaly as well as physically, the police phoned today "are you sure you dont want the LEA to deal with this" NO this is a police matter.

 

Have now sent the following letter to every goverment dept and minister that I can think of, its strong but my son deserves to be protected and I will shout until he is

 

To whom it may concern,

 

I am desperately sad about recent events following a move to blank,Warwickshire, My 3 older children started at a school called blank blank, they were happy children who loved school, My eldest child has always shown signs of a social development disorder however needed little intervention as he managed to sustain a high level of control and was a happy child, Over the course of the last year there has been a dramatic change in his behaviour and his mental health, My son has become a sad little boy who believes the world would be a better and happier place if he was not in it, he talks of suicide and self harms by hitting himself, pulling out his hair and banging his head against walls,

My two daughters hate going to school and feel like they are different, my 8 year old daughter wrote a letter which broke my heart, "I used to think being brown was not wrong or different but now I do"

I reported these feeling to the school and also reported the dramatic difference in my son to the school, however on 6th of November a situation occurred at the school the week after I spoke to them about the racist remarks being made to my children which escalated to such an extent that my son was wrongly physically restrained by the deputy head which has resulted in my son being left bruised and in pain, my son has been left emotionally distraught, bruised and in pain

The school have described my son as a violent and abusive child and have stated that they should not have to deal with children such as him, I feel that the actual problem is that the school it self has seriously failed my child, My son does have a mental health issue however his last public meltdown was at the age of four, he was barely noticed at his last school, in his entire school life he has never shown violence or abuse to any other person, this can easily be checked by contacting his previous schools, my son was distressed, confused and scared, he made no attempt to hurt himself or anyone else, he was not trying to run away, In fact all he wanted to do was to sit down in his seat and regain his control, he resisted leaving the class because he could not cope with the thought of doing anything but getting in that seat, In his mind this was a safe place, The school ignored all signs of distress and my sons mental health and had a battle of wills with a child whose thought process were impaired, They Ignored his obvious distress and only focused on getting him to "do as he was told", allowing him to sit down and regain control would not of diminished their authority and would not of affected discipline, not allowing him to do this resulted in physical and emotional injury to my child. It was also known by the school that my son has nephrotic syndrome which is a kidney disorder yet they still physically handled him.

The school showed no empathy for this highly distressed child and have in fact contacted his cahms psychologist and insinuated that my family is in crisis, My family is deeply upset and traumatised however the reason for this is external, the actions of this school are the cause of our distress.

I hope that by contacting yourselves this matter can be taken to the highest level and that someone can explain to me how my children who loved school now hate it, My son deserves to be seen and heard, he deserves to be protected and he has the right to a safe and secure mainstream education, something at this school went so badly wrong that this happy healthy child became unstable and suicidal, all three children complain that teachers at school don’t talk to them they shout, they don’t listen and ignore problems.

We have never lived in asian areas, my children have always attend predominantly white schools and have never had issues previously with being treated with respect and dignity, they all loved school and felt that school was a safe place to be, the every child matters philosophy has failed within this school environment, My children who have previously had good schools felt the difference and it has had a dramatic and devastating impact on them

I hope this is taken seriously and that someone takes action, children who lose the love of school at such a young age are left so disadvantaged and children with mental heath issues need someone to stand up and take care of them. All children deserve to be heard and to feel safe and secure

mina2974

Edited November 8, 2008 by mina2974
remove school name

[tiglet]

Mina, I have tears running down my face as I read this - I really feel for your little boy and you, i really do.

 

I would suggest seeing your MP at his next surgery meeting. Also, is there anyone who deals with diversity and diversity issues in your LEA or your local council? As there is obviously a strong element of racism here to contend with, as well as a child with (as yet) undiagnosed developmental and social disorders such as ASD, you maybe need to pull in the big guns. I never advocate playing the race card, but, to be honest, I would if I was you - there is racism here, indirectly or directly leading to your son's meltdown.

 

I don't know if this will cheer him up or not, but I was speaking to my son today about your son and he will be emailing him tomorrow - he doesn't care if he's black, white or has green spots as long as he likes Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh!

 

I think it would be a good idea too if you attended a local ASD group - you will find parents there who have experienced what you have experienced and can give abundant help and support. Your local parents centre or social services should be able to give you some names/numbers.

 

 

"I used to think being brown was not wrong or different but now I do" - that breaks my heart, it really does 9tears coming again) - how can anyone make another child feel different or wrong because of a skin colour? Trust me, it's not that easy if your child is white and has learning difficulties and ASD etc. but it horrifies me to think a child may be treated any differently because of skin colour.

 

You will have to be strong and you will have to fight every step of the way, but you will get there (I think we are nearly there) and you will get help and support here to. Please feel free to PM me if you want to.

 

Tigs xxx

[mina2974]

Thank you hun:)

 

I am feeling strong at the moment, the support from fellow caggers helps me so much, I do believe there is a link between my initial complaint about racism and the currant situation as prior to this R was at the school for 11 months without any incidents reported to me by the school, I think that that situation did affect the way he was dealt with.

This is my first ever experience of race discrimination and it saddens me as I am 35 and never even thought that color could be such an issue:(

 

However I will not dwell on this aspect as for me my children's wellbeing is far more important than the actions of a few small minded idiots, I am looking for a new school for the children and hope that a fresh start will help them, I will Not tolerate the treatment my child received at the hands of this school and will carry on shouting until someone listens

 

A positive is that the cahms process will be speeded up as he was already on the urgent list, I am not going to allow their description of my child as a violent and aggressive individual to stand, He is a sweet loving child and they were the violent ones

 

thank you all for your support , the information and kindness provided have touched the heart of my family and we will be forever grateful

[mina2974]

Hi Tigs,

 

I have just read your post about your son, If you remove the high ability and replace it with being artistic you would be close to describing my daughter! she is ten and spells ok ko, she is highly emotional and used to bring entire classes to a halt with her crying and once spent a year living on plain cheese pizza, She speaks at super speed and most people have difficulty understanding her, I would be very intrested to know more about how you got your son assessed as schools have always refused to even though at ten she is only acheiving a level one in her sat's

Mina2974

[lisaf]

Hi Mina,

I have a nephew with special needs (atypical autism) and currently my sister is fighting to have him moved to a more appropriate school (this has been going on for nearly 2 years - but that's another story).

When my nephew was 2 he attended my work creche and was treated pretty poorly (wasn't diagnosed at the time - nice to see nursery staff were on the ball - not)! Anyway, me being me and my sister not strong enough at the time to confront it, took the ringleader to one side and told her we were onto her and to watch her back (employment wise of course)!

Also spoke to her manager (who my sister got on well with and sadly just recently passed away) who confirmed what we thought and backed us all the way - even when all of her staff alienated her because of it.

Upshot was - one of the ringleaders left and the other one always walks with her head between her knees and has kept a very low profile since. sadly she didn't lose her job but is being kept a very close eye on by management.

Sorry Mina, just went on a bit there but your story brought so many bad memories back about that time.

My beautiful nephew is now 9 and has since then had pretty great support from school etc (who are supporting him and my sis through the change of schools - it's the local authority dragging their heels). But there have been very testing times which he/she have come through so please keep strong.

You sound a brilliant Mum and you will get through this. Will follow your thread with much interest!

Lisa xxx

[mina2974]

Hi Lisa

 

I cant tell you how much the support on here means to me, I dont really leave the house unless I have no choice and am dreading the meeting on Monday with the school, but unluckily for them I will be going armed with all the advice I have been given on cag;), They are expecting a weak uninformed person and will be in for a huge shock, Cag has changed me as a person, I am more than willing to fight for my rights and even more so when it comes to the rights of my children. I only hope that one day I can help someone else as much as I have been helped

 

I am glad that your nephew is doing well and wish you all the best sorting out his new school.

 

All the best

 

Mina2974

[lisaf]

Good luck on Monday Mina! - please let us know how you get on xxx

[Gembobs]

Hi Mina,

 

I have read your thread & am filled with anger and despair at how you/your children have been treated, and all that you have been going through. The letter you have written has bought me to tears.

 

I am by no means an expert in this matter, nor do i have any first hand experience of what you are going through, however, i am a mother.

 

I am writing this shaking with rage as i go. My daughter is mixed race & i would fight tooth & nail for her as you are, if ever racism within her school occured toward her. And that is without having to deal with your sons' undiagnosed ASD/ behavoural issues etc.

 

I want to applaud your strength of character, your sheer determination & your will to protect & support your children. Despite everything it appears that under a huge weight of pressure, you remain composed & strong! You are the epitomy of everyhting that a mum is and then some... Your children are truly blessed.....

 

Also, please don't be concerned about SS becoming involved. There is a stigma attached to them but, you are able to clearly demonstrate that you are fighting to obtain helpfor your son / children. They will be there to help you & there is no shame in that !

 

Sometimes as a parent you can feel isolated and alone in your moments of despair..... you are not alone, whilst the CAG can't be wih you in person, we are here to support you & assist you in whatever way we can.

 

Have you heard about YoungMinds ? Just a thought but they offer a freephone parentline. It offers a free telephone based consultation from a range of experts including social workers, psychologists etc. They deal spefically with children aged 0-19. A friend of a friend used it and finally their son was diagnosed with ADHD. Just a thought.

 

I wish you all the luck in the world for your meeting tomorrow. Don't be scared. You are there as a represantative for your child/children. They deserve the same rights and treatment as anyone else irrespective of thier skin colour/behavioural issues etc ! It is sheer ignoranace that the school have treated your children this way.

 

Be strong & remember the support that you have here.

 

Thinking of you

 

Gembobs xxx

[tiglet]

Hi Mina

 

unfortunately, the school wouldn't assess so we paid privately for an educational psychologist and went to our GP to put him through the CAMHS system.

 

Good luck for tomorrow and do let us know how you get on.

 

Tigs xxx

[Bookworm]

Ok, Mina, please don't take this the wrong way, you know I am trying to help the best I can, right? So please don't get upset byt what I am going to say, that's not why I am saying it. :-|

 

I think your letter is completely counter-productive, reads like a rant with everything thrown in the pot, detracts from the very real issues you and your child and is not going to help you. You have made this an issue about race when the first and most important issue you have to tackle is the one of your son's special needs. You have thrown in your daughters' issues and your own distress. It's the equivalent of begging to a DCA that you won't have enough to feed your kids when you could send them packing with a statute-barred letter.

 

I'm sorry to say these people don't listen to angry or upset parents on an outburst. You'll get the right level of assistance when you are documented enough and lucid enough to tell them: "the law says this...", "your duty is that..." "you are breaching such and such guidelines", etc... point by point.

 

Be VERY wary of Social Services involvement. They have a very checkered record when it comes to children on the spectrum, so you need to be whiter than white (if you'll forgive the expression ;-)) when it comes to them, that's why it is so important to document that you took your child to A&E following the school incident and reported the deputy head to the police.

 

As for letters, you need to learn to rein in your emotions, for your kids' sake. I also think that at this point, you need to lay off the racist element or at least only as a background one.

For instance, a basic letter should run like this:

1 - Lay out background: child, age, where he goes to school, condition (with diagnosis if confirmed, or suspicions if not confirmed, and state how far you have got in the CAHMS/diagnosis process), and how it manifests itself. Specify if child's special needs have been flagged by school (School Action/School Action +/SENCO involvement, etc...).

 

2 - Explain background pattern of bullying incidents and explain what of any actions have been taken by school. Stay factual. This is the point where you may want to say that some of the bullying was down to race, but don't dwell on it, remember that you have no actual proof of that (unless there's something you haven't told us?).

 

3 - Now to the incident which prompted all this: On x date, this happened: incident, what triggered it, how it was dealt with, consequences.

 

4 - state that you weren't advised of this until child came back from school and then he was the one who told you or you wouldn't have known.

 

5 - explain actions you've taken since and school response.

 

All of the above was your background setting, which is why it is important to keep it as factual and neutral as possible, NOW you're going on the attack:

 

6 - Quote DDA about special needs and treatment no less favourable to a disabled child equates to discrimination, the restraint stuff I have given you and everything else relevant, chapter and verse.

 

7 - Advise that the school is in breach of above(s) in dealing with your child, and are compounding this by trying to shift the blame on to your child.

 

8 - State that you want to know what action the school are going to take in respect of the deputy's actions, what they plan to do regarding supporting your child's special needs efficiently and not discriminating against him on the grounds of disability further.

 

 

9 - Copy to head of school, Board of governors, local authority SN dept, and your MP.

 

Get a copy of the SEN code of practice here, you're going to familiarise yourself with it and what it means in practical terms.

 

If you need to speak to someone about the law side, Independent Panel for Special Education Advice (IPSEA) are the best, although theirs is more on the side of advocacy for statements and such, but they may be able to offer further support.

 

Finally, I would push CAHMS for help faster, as the situation is deteriorating fast.

 

Couple of things to bear in mind: It may be that the school will try to exclude your child, it's up to you whether you want to fight it (bearing in mind that the exclusion is likely to be another breach of the DDA) or not. Personally, I wouldn't have let my child set foot in a school where he is at risk from such a thug, and where he is likely to be so frightened that the chance of meltdown is going to be that much heightened, but it's got to be a judgment call from you, like so many things.

 

No-one said it was ever easy, hey? Be strong. But you have to learn to bottle those emotions and channel them in the most efficient manner. You may cry yourself to sleep at night, but never let them see your weaknesses... Stay cool and collected and use the strength of the law do the talking. ;-)

 

Let us know how you get on. {{{HUGS}}}

[Gembobs]

Hi Mina,

 

As parents, we take the burden of responsibility for our children. There are no right & wrong ways in our approach, no guidlines or how to books to assist us. We do our best and that is what is important.

 

You are the voice for your son/children, and you have a strong voice ! I have taken my mums hat off & popped on my business one. I have read your letter over & over. It is filled with passion for your children, it is emotionally charged, written with an unstemmed flow of frustraion, anger, disgust & most of all love for your children. It is most sincere & heartfelf.

 

However, i am inclined to agree with bookworms post. The body of your letter is distracted from the main issue, that of your sons special needs. Whilst everything else is extremly important, they are all factors contributing to the main issue. Please please don't feel that i or anyone is trying to undermine the seriousness of anything else that is raised in your letter i.e racism. The authorities are interested in facts not emotion.

 

Bookworms words: (i quote) "I'm sorry to say these people don't listen to angry or upset parents on an outburst. You'll get the right level of assistance when you are documented enough and lucid enough to tell them: "the law says this...", "your duty is that..." "you are breaching such and such guidelines", etc... point by point." These words are very true......

 

The layout that bookworm has suggested works because it demonstrates facts, highlights what has happened, what needs to be done & arms you with the knowledge/law that backs you up.

 

Knowledge is power Mina. I have found that an emotionally charged rant (as im gulity of all the time) almost always falls of deaf ears !

 

You clearly have the determination to do this, the courage to take it as far as necessary..... Let them hear you & know you mean business. That may mean taking every ounce of everything you have in your emotional reserve to keep cool, calm & collected, buy YOU CAN DO IT !!!

 

Be brave, be strong & never forget that a mothers job is never easy. Focus on the outcome of this journey, when you are heard, listened to and provided with the relvant help, support & when your son has received a diagnosis & the relevant help. You can look back and think 'i did that'....

 

Thinking of you

 

Gembobs x

[mina2974]

Hi all,

 

Have read through bookworms post and will follow her advice, I know i have to go in and take the emotion out, I will be changing the kids school as advised the police and hospital!

am printing off and highlighting all the relvant points and will be taking my mum hat off during the meeting.

It wont be easy but I fully intend to go into this the same way I would deal with a dca, firm to the point and using the law

Thankyou so much for your advise bookworm, I know you have learnt all of this through personal experience and am so grateful that you are helping me through this.

The police have said that although the law was not broken as far as where my sons burises are they are concerned that the restraint procedure was done incorrectly and are happy to say the same to ss

Mina2974

[mina2974]

The meeting did not go well, There were four of them and they refused to discuss anything but my sons behaviour at school, they talked about him as though he was a problem that needed to be fixed, fortunatly after all the advice I was given I was ready for that, have a letter ready outlining all the errors that were made and am ready to battle to have my son recognised as a disabled person rather than the damaged child they seem to feel he is(their words not mine), Had no one that could come with me and will refuse to meet with anyone else unless I have someone avaliable to come with me so I have a witness to confirm everything that was said.

Mina2974

[Bookworm]

Good girl already.

 

As regards the police, I feel they are just fobbing you off. A child is manhandled in an armlock causing him pain and bruising, and no law was broken?

 

I'm certain they are fobbing you off, but I'll see if I can get further info and then you'll have to decide how you want to proceed, you might have to go back to the police and insist they treat this as assault and not dismiss you our of hand. Bearing in mind originally they tried to palm you off to the LA, it is obvious they're not interested in dealing with this, so you might have to be a bit more forceful about it.

[lisaf]

Hi Mina,

couldn't stop thinking of you and your meeting today! Was telling my Mum last night all about it (she's worked in a school for over 20 years doing all sorts of roles within - looking after special needs children being one of the main ones on a one to one basis).

She was absolutely appalled by your story and said police should have intervened 100% and dealt with accordingly - that would certainly have been the case at her school. She said for a child to have been hurt and bruised as your Son was, there would have been absolute uproar - it would just never happen.

It's also the school my nephew with SN's attends and they have been fantastic with him. The kids know he is somewhat 'different' but to them he is just 'charlie'. My Mum said she has never seen even one other child say anything to him that would hurt him. Mind you with his Nan site, that's not likely to happen! We are just very protective of him after what happened.

Keep strong Mina

Lisa xxx

[mina2974]

Hi all

 

Yes it was a horrible experience, the guy from the LA asked if I thought my son was a damaged child!

I am going over their heads and sending my complaint letter to Ofsted and to the Minister of the Education Dept, they are doing all they can to block complaint and are trying to lable R as abusive/violent/damaged, Have called in all the support I can for the Caf meeting, Inclulding my best Friend who has been through the process and knows what to watch out for, have contacted local support groups for advice and am going to contact R's consultant who has known him since December and thinks he's great to see if she will add in her support .

Worst case senario if they convice eveyone that R is just naughty we are packing our bags and moving out of this Local authority, My Friend has already spoken to her sons school and they are happy to have R there, NO WAY will I stand for him being treated like this,

I dont hit my kids, its vile and disgusting, the hell will anyone else get away with it, Theyt broke the law and I will stand up to them.

Rant over lol

more calls to make will keep you all updated

Mina2974

[tiglet]

Good on yer girl.

 

I would ask to speak to the Inspector at the police station - this is assault, pure and simple and they are duty bound to investigate it. Tell them you will take this further if they refuse to investigate.

 

I think you also need to contact the chief educational officer of your LEA too.

[louise1111]

I worked for 3 years at a special school for children aged 11-19 with Autism. I will say that on occasions, some children were restrained but i assure you it was for their own safety. The teachers/staff were trained extensively.

 

I know that a lot of the parents had to really fight to get their children diagnosed and a special needs statement issued.

 

I really just wanted to add my support and i hope you and your son get what you want!

[mina2974]

can someone look at this and let me know if its ok please, have done a sperate one to complain that I dont think the restraint was lawful , Have to go through internal complaints so I can this escalated to the L.A

To whom it may concern,

After much consideration and research I have made the decision to escalate my complaint to the governors’ and Local Authority, I feel that a full investigation Is required into the Incident involving my son R on Thursday 6th November.

My complaint is in regards to the conduct of the

The details of my complaint of the school are as follows,

I had reported to the school the details of medical difficulties and also of mental health difficulties that my son R was having, as a responsible parent I arranged a meeting with the school Senco and gave full disclosure of all of my sons various mental health difficulties, The Senco showed concern and advised that the Caf process would be of great benefit to R, I immediately agreed to this.

My understanding of the SEN code of conduct is that once a special educational need is identified in a child it becomes the responsibility of the head of the school to ensure that all staff who would then deal with that child are fully informed of that child’s needs, The SEN code of conduct clearly outlines that mental health issues would be within the framework of special educational needs,

It is my belief that this was not done and I strongly feel that due to the very nature of teaching empathy would have been shown to my child and the situation that led to the physical restraint of my child would not have occurred had correct procedure been followed.

The second element of my compliant is about the actual procedures used when my child is restrained, I have read the government guidelines on physical restraint and also the guidelines that the local authority provides to schools.

I feel that these guide lines where not followed and that this created a situation where not only was my child put in potential danger but also the staff at the school and local authority are left in the vulnerable position of having to defend their actions.

The Local authority guidelines clearly state that the headmistress of the school had the responsibility of authorising staff to be able to physically restrain children, part of this responsibility was to ensure that the staff authorised had up to date and lawful training, without this the staff become vulnerable to legal action and the children at the school become vulnerable to restraint that is not carried out effectively, In the case of my son the police officer who saw me felt that the person who restrained my child had attempted a lawful restraint but felt that the restraint may not of been carried out correctly, My son was left with a sore back, neck, elbows and also a bruised wrist, I consulted a martial arts expert who advised me that in his opinion the force used was excessive.

The headmistress of the school did not even seem aware that she should of followed these procedures and I find this very disturbing, having read the government guideline for a teachers’ contract of employment I understand that it is the responsibility of each individual staff member to ensure personally that they working within the framework of the Local Authority where they work.

I still however feel that the overall responsibility does fall upon the headmistress of the school.

The second issue that I have is that the statement that was taken from my son was taken by the person who restrained him, this should of been done by a senior member of staff who was not involved in the incident , while my son has not yet had a diagnosis his psychologist has shown great concern for him and has referred him to the social development team and placed him on the emergency list, since this incident he has been put on the priority list due to the impact this whole situation has had on him.

As the headmistress did not follow the SEN guidelines and inform her staff of my sons difficulties, they would not of known that my son would of needed to be questioned in a specific manner so that he fully understood the questions that he was being asked, For example my son was asked “what he did” so he advised that “he stomped off” as he was not asked why he did not advise that “I stomped off to go and get a flapjack because she turned away and I thought she had finished with me”, This response clearly indicates that my son misread body language and was not being deliberately disobedient or rude.

On Friday 7th my husband phoned the school and requested the official incident report and also a copy of the authorised person list, I asked for a copy of the schools SEN policy and also the schools internal restraint policy.

The headmistress could not supply any of these documents, again this is unacceptable, as a parent I am entrusting my children into the care of this school, The school should of documented this incident on a official incident form, this form would of explained the reason why it was felt that restraint was required, it would of described the exact form of restraint used and also it would of shown if my son was checked for injury, all the headmistress was able to offer me was a statement written on A4 paper taken from a disturbed and scared child.

I am not happy that my son was physically restrained and feel that no empathy or consideration was given to his mental health, My son has been in mainstream education since he was three years old and in these eight years he has never been violent or had to be physically restrained, he is a troubled little boy who required empathy and understanding, his perception of the incident was to sit in his seat or obey the urge to run, he was trying to do the least destructive thing, He showed no intent to hurt himself or anyone else, the option was there to allow him to sit down until he was calm enough to leave the class room, physical restraint was clearly not justified.

I do feel that the Deputy acted with good intent however was uniformed and uneducated about how to deal with a child with social development issues; He did not fulfil his contractual duty to ensure he was working within Local Authority guidelines; however I feel he was working to the standard expected from him by his immediate superior.

The complaint is against the headmistress of Croft Junior, she had the ultimate responsibility to make sure that Local Authority guidelines were being followed, she also had the responsibility to make sure that the SEN code of conduct was adhered to and also to make sure her staff are properly trained, I feel that she has failed to understand her responsibilities , this was clearly indicated to me when she spoke to me on the day I returned my daughters to the school, she was very strong in making it clear that she trusted her deputy head, while I commend her for this, It is her that I have lost faith in not her staff, they have followed her leadership, My concerns towards the Deputy are that he may not of been qualified to physically restrain a child, this does need to be investigated and he should be disciplined if he is at fault in that respect, However I do feel some empathy for him and feel that it would be unjust to lay all fault at his feet. I intend to leave the investigation of the actual physical act of restraint in the hands of the Local Authority , the matter of the administration errors and failure to follow good practice is however of concern to all parents and potentially affects all children within the school, this is a very serious matter and needs to be resolved urgently.

To this end I would like to request that the Local authority and the school governors meet urgently with me and fully investigate my complaint

Kind Regards

Mrs angry mum

[Bookworm]

Mina, stop being so kind and understanding! Believe me, you don't need to find them justifications, they will find them themselves!!!

 

Right, here goes (warning: I am going to rip out a few things, by now, you may have gathered I am a firm believer in "pull the band-aid off in one go" ;-)):

 

To whom it may concern,

 

After much consideration and research I have made the decision to escalate my complaint to the governors’ and Local Authority, I feel that a full investigation Is required into the Incident involving my son R on Thursday 6th November.

-> Dear Sir/Madam,

 

Please treat this letter as a formal notification that I wish to escalate my complaint to the next level, namely the Board of Governors and Local Authority.

 

 

 

 

 

My complaint is in regards to the conduct of the

The details of my complaint of the school are as follows, -> Those 2 sentences don't make sense, or the 1st one is unfinished.

 

I had reported to the school [when? be specific] the details of medical difficulties and also of mental health difficulties that my son R was having, as a responsible parent [unnecessary]I arranged a meeting with the school Senco and gave full disclosure of all of my sons various mental health difficulties, The Senco showed concern and advised that the Caf process would be of great benefit to R, I immediately agreed to this.

 

My understanding of [remove] The SEN code of conduct states that once a special educational need is identified in a child it becomes the responsibility of the head of the school to ensure that all staff who would then deal with that child are fully informed of that child’s needs. The SEN code of conduct clearly outlines that mental health issues would be within the framework of special educational needs,

 

It is my belief that -> As far as I am aware, this was not done and I strongly feel that due to the very nature of teaching empathy would have been shown to my child and -> and I believe that this had direct consequences in the situation that led to the physical restraint of my child. I believe this situation would not have occurred had correct procedure been followed.

 

The second element of my compliant [complaint] is about the actual procedures used when my child is [was]restrained, I have read the government guidelines on physical restraint and also the guidelines that the local authority provides to schools. -> The government guidelines on physical restraint in schoold states that [insert quote here]. The guidelines issued by the LA to school states that [insert quote here].

 

I feel that -> There is no doubt that these guide lines where not followed on that occasion and that this created a situation where not only was [delete] my child was put in potential danger [at risk]. but also the staff at the school and local authority are left in the vulnerable position of having to defend their actions.[delete]

The Local authority guidelines clearly state that the headmistress of the school had the responsibility of authorising staff to be able to physically restrain children, part of this responsibility was to ensure that the staff authorised had up to date and lawful training, without this the staff become vulnerable to legal action and the children at the school become vulnerable to restraint that is not carried out effectively, [delete]. In the case of my son the police officer who saw me felt that the person who restrained my child had attempted a lawful restraint but [delete] felt that the restraint as applied to my son may not of been carried out correctly. My son was left with a sore back, neck, elbows and also a bruised wrist. I also have consulted a martial arts expert who advised me that in his opinion the force used was excessive.

 

The headmistress of the school did not even seem aware that she should of [have] followed these procedures and I find this very disturbing. , having read the government guideline for a teachers’ contract of employment I understand that it is the responsibility of each individual staff member to ensure personally that they working within the framework of the Local Authority where they work.

I still however feel that the overall responsibility does fall upon the headmistress of the school.[delete]

 

The second [third] issue that I have is that the statement that was taken from my son was taken by the person who restrained him, this should of [have] been done by a senior member of staff who was not involved in the incident [you need to bold this, otherwise they could say as it was the deputy head, he was senior enough], while my son has not yet had a diagnosis his psychologist has shown great concern for him and has referred him to the social development team and placed him on the emergency list, since this incident he has been put on the priority list due to the impact this whole situation has had on him.

 

As the headmistress did not follow the SEN guidelines and inform her staff of my sons difficulties, they would not of known that my son would of needed to be questioned in a specific manner so that he fully understood the questions that he was being asked. For example my son was asked “what he did” so he advised that “he stomped off” as he was not asked why he did not advise that “I stomped off to go and get a flapjack because she turned away and I thought she had finished with me”,. This response clearly indicates that my son misread body language and was not being deliberately disobedient or rude.

 

On Friday 7th my husband phoned the school and requested the official incident report and also a copy of the authorised person list, I asked for a copy of the schools SEN policy and also the schools internal restraint policy.

The headmistress could not supply any of these documents, again this is unacceptable., as a parent I am entrusting my children into the care of this school, [delete]The school should of documented this incident on a official incident form, this form would of explained the reason why it was felt that restraint was required, it would of described the exact form of restraint used and also it would of shown if my son was checked for injury, all the headmistress was able to offer me was a statement written on A4 paper taken from a disturbed and scared child.

 

I am not happy that my son was physically restrained and feel that no empathy or consideration was given to his mental health, My son has been in mainstream education since he was three years old and in these eight years he has never been violent or had to be physically restrained, he is a troubled little boy who required empathy and understanding, his perception of the incident was to sit in his seat or obey the urge to run, he was trying to do the least destructive thing, He showed no intent to hurt himself or anyone else, the option was there to allow him to sit down until he was calm enough to leave the class room, physical restraint was clearly not justified.

 

I do feel that the Deputy acted with good intent however [DELETE!] was uniformed [uninformed]and uneducated [not trained]about how to deal with a child with social development issues; He did not fulfil his contractual duty to ensure he was working within Local Authority guidelines; however I feel he was working to the standard expected from him by his immediate superior. [delete] -> and should not therefore have intervened in a situation which he could not control appropriately.

 

The complaint is against the headmistress of Croft Junior, she had the ultimate responsibility to make sure that Local Authority guidelines were being followed, she also had the responsibility to make sure that the SEN code of conduct was adhered to and also to make sure her staff are properly trained, I feel that she has failed to understand her responsibilities , this was clearly indicated to me when she spoke to me on the day I returned my daughters to the school, she was very strong in making it clear that she trusted her deputy head, while I commend her for this, It is her that I have lost faith in not her staff, they have followed her leadership, My concerns towards the Deputy are that he may not of been qualified to physically restrain a child, this does need to be investigated and he should be disciplined if he is at fault in that respect, However I do feel some empathy for him and feel that it would be unjust to lay all fault at his feet. I intend to leave the investigation of the actual physical act of restraint in the hands of the Local Authority , the matter of the administration errors and failure to follow good practice is however of concern to all parents and potentially affects all children within the school, this is a very serious matter and needs to be resolved urgently.

 

[i think you are making a mistake here, it is not up to you to decide who you want to blame, and I would leave the LA to decide where to apportion blame. I really believe you should consider removing that whole paragraph.]

 

To this end I would like to request [am requesting] that the Local authority and the school governors meet urgently with me and fully investigate my complaint

 

Kind Regards [Yours faithfully]

Mrs angry mum

 

Sorry, just re-read my corrections and I wouldn't be surprised if you can't make head or tail of it, so I have put together the edited version:

 

Dear Sir/Madam,

 

Please treat this letter as a formal notification that I wish to escalate my complaint to the next level, namely the Board of Governors and Local Authority.

 

I had reported to the school [when? be specific] the details of medical difficulties and also of the mental health difficulties that my son R was having. I arranged a meeting with the school Senco and gave full disclosure of all of my sons various mental health difficulties. The Senco showed concern and advised that the Caf process would be of great benefit to R, I immediately agreed to this.

 

The SEN code of conduct states that once a special educational need is identified in a child it becomes the responsibility of the head of the school to ensure that all staff who would then deal with that child are fully informed of that child’s needs. The SEN code of conduct clearly outlines that mental health issues are within the framework of special educational needs.

 

As far as I am aware, this was not done and I believe that this had direct consequences in the situation that led to the physical restraint of my child. I believe this situation would not have occurred had correct procedure been followed.

 

The second element of my complaint is about the actual procedures used when my child was restrained.The government guidelines on physical restraint in schoold states that [insert quote here]. The guidelines issued by the LA to school states that [insert quote here]. There is no doubt that these guide lines where not followed on that occasion and that this created a situation where my child was put at risk.

 

In the case of my son the police officer (name and number)who saw me felt that the restraint as applied to my son may not have been carried out correctly. My son was left with a sore back, neck, elbows and also a bruised wrist. I also have consulted a martial arts expert (name, qualifications) who advised me that in his opinion the force used was excessive.

 

The headmistress of the school did not even seem aware that she should have followed specific procedures and I find this very disturbing.

 

The third issue that I have is that the statement that was taken from my son was taken by the person who restrained him, this should have been done by a senior member of staff who was not involved in the incident. Whist my son has not yet had a diagnosis his psychologist has shown great concern for him and has referred him to the social development team and placed him on the emergency list, since this incident he has been put on the priority list due to the impact this whole situation has had on him.

 

As the headmistress did not follow the SEN guidelines and inform her staff of my son's difficulties, they would not have known that my son would have needed to be questioned in a specific manner so that he fully understood the questions that he was being asked. For example my son was asked “what he did” so he advised that “he stomped off” as he was not asked why he did not advise that “I stomped off to go and get a flapjack because she turned away and I thought she had finished with me”. This response clearly indicates that my son misread body language and was not being deliberately disobedient or rude.

 

On Friday 7th my husband phoned the school and requested the official incident report and also a copy of the authorised person list, I asked for a copy of the school's SEN policy and also the school's internal restraint policy. The headmistress could not supply any of these documents, again this is unacceptable. The school should have documented this incident on a official incident form, this form would have explained the reason why it was felt that restraint was required, it would have described the exact form of restraint used and also it would have shown if my son was checked for injury. All the headmistress was able to offer me was a statement written on A4 paper taken from a disturbed and scared child.

 

I am not happy that my son was physically restrained and feel that no empathy or consideration was given to his mental health. My son has been in mainstream education since he was three years old and in these eight years he has never been violent or had to be physically restrained, he is a troubled little boy who required empathy and understanding, his perception of the incident was to sit in his seat or obey the urge to run, he was trying to do the least destructive thing, he showed no intent to hurt himself or anyone else, the option was there to allow him to sit down until he was calm enough to leave the class room, physical restraint was clearly not justified.

 

I do feel that the Deputy was uninformed and not trained on how to deal with a child with social development issues but also feel that the blame is equally to be shared by the school.

 

To this end I am requesting that the Local authority and the school governors meet urgently with me and fully investigate my complaint.

 

Yours faithfully

Mrs angry mum