17 year old son needs help

[cidergirl]

my 17 year old son who was statemented at school for specific learning difficulties and behaviour problems at school at age 11 . he was always being sent home from school and excluded every time the school was no help at all. anyway i thought he had adhd but didnt know how to go about getting diagnosed and didnt realise that i should apply for disability living allowance. anyway the doctor sent him to see a specialist who has diagnosed adhd and autistic spectrum disorder now and wants to start him on ritalin . hes on a e to e at college but thye only let him do a few hours as his behaviour isnt good and he keeps forgetting what hes learned and they are going to give him one more chance but really they dont want him there and will look for any excuse i feel that hes been totally let down by the system and if he cant go to college i dont know what he can do hes tried a job but after a few days they make excuses on getting rid of him. the connexions want him asseses by the job cetre as they are not sure of his diagnosisits making me ill with worry im in despair

[PriorityOne]

If I were you, I'd do some serious research before putting him on Ritalin.... Ritalin has become the cop-out drug of the 21st century and is often given to kids when "experts" don't really know what else to do or say, IMO.

[cidergirl]

If I were you, I'd do some serious research before putting him on Ritalin.... Ritalin has become the cop-out drug of the 21st century and is often given to kids when "experts" don't really know what else to do or say, IMO.

 

i want to try it to see if it helps though he smokes cannabis at the moment that i dont like though

[PriorityOne]

Ritalin is amphetamine-based and interferes with dopamine and nor-adrenaline in the brain.... which are linked to schizophrenia.... as is cannabis. If he's smoking cannabis, then you really, really should not be giving him Ritalin anyway, IMO.

 

How does he get the cannabis, if you don't mind me asking ?

[cidergirl]

so called mates give it to him as he hasnt any money to buy it . hes so easily led i try to keep him in all i can but its not easy when u have 5 kids to look after as well

[PriorityOne]

It's difficult to monitor what a 17-year-old does... but cannabis isn't going to help him long-term. It is linked to schizophrenia, as said earlier and despite many claims that it's not addictive, I've come across addicts in my time... all of whom had associated conditions; manic depression and/or schizophrenia.

 

Ritalin is given out to kids like sweets these days in order to make behaviour more acceptable within a classroom setting in a lot of cases. If you (or anyone else) go(es) into a GPs surgery wanting a diagnosis, then you'll get one eventually if you go in there with a list of symptomatic behaviours. ADHD is only labelling a social disorder though and is habitually diagnosed on the basis of social information, ie, behaviour... but is treated like a medical condition, ie, with prescribed drug therapy....

 

The long term effects of this are not yet known.... and too many parents are kept in the dark about it, IMO.

Edited July 29, 2008 by PriorityOne

[cidergirl]

It's difficult to monitor what a 17-year-old does... but cannabis isn't going to help him long-term. It is linked to schizophrenia, as said earlier and despite many claims that it's not addictive, I've come across addicts in my time... all of whom had associated conditions; manic depression and/or schizophrenia.

 

Ritalin is given out to kids like sweets these days in order to make behaviour more acceptable within a classroom setting in a lot of cases. If you (or anyone else) go(es) into a GPs surgery wanting a diagnosis, then you'll get one eventually if you go in there with a list of symtomatic behaviours. ADHD is only labelling a social disorder though and is habitually diagnosed on the basis of social information, ie, behaviour... but is treated like a medical condition, ie, with prescribed drug therapy....

 

The long term effects of this are not yet known.... and too many parents are kept in the dark about it, IMO.

 

i am worried about this too as they are linking ritalin to heart attacks in teenagers but i need him to settle down and do something with his life if he can im sure if had had the help earlier he might not of got like this now and i might of got some help with him too

[PriorityOne]

Ok.... Ritalin has nothing to do with an autistic spectrum disorder. If he's being/been diagnosed for this, then it's worth asking for some clarification on how far he is on the autistic spectrum.

 

Are you aware of any strategies that his school used for helping him stay on task ? If he was statemented, then he would/should have had support from a Teacher's Assistant or LSA. As far as I know, this would stop when he went to college, which may be part of his problem now if he was used to having that support from another person.

 

It may be a good idea to make an appt. at the college where he is now and discuss what your own concerns are and the kind of support that your son had in his previous school. Are they even aware that he had a Statement there ? Please don't assume that the school passes this information on... because it's not always the case at all.

 

Have you put in a claim for DLA ? If not, then do so... although the money will go to him directly once he reaches 18 (may even be 16, need to check that one). The form is a nightmare, but there are people at CAB that will help you to complete it in the way that the DLA people like, so to speak.

Edited July 29, 2008 by PriorityOne

[cidergirl]

yes he had one to one which he didnt like and refused at times i have took his statement to the college but they say the funding isnt available and they are restricted . yes we applied for dla and was awarded it in june this year and they awarded him middle rate care and it is paid to him but i dont give it to him just buy him the things he needs when he needs them . hes only had a couple of months of it im annoyed at all the years we missed out on it was money we could well of done with for him and all the things he broken in our house and holes in the walls and doors etc

Edited July 29, 2008 by cidergirl
spelling

[PriorityOne]

Difficult.

 

What course is he doing at college ? Do you know what triggers the aggressive outbursts ? Is it frustration at not being understood/unable to express himself ? Does this happen at college as well or just at home ?

[cidergirl]

hes doing e to e entry to employment but hes only allowed to do a few hours as he didnt behave in the bricklaying tasters they he has had out bursts at the college but it was swearing and shouting out bursts when he didnt understand the maths he was doing with the tutor his reading and writing and spelling is about age 7 or below and he doesnt retain the information he learns i think they dont like him and just want to get rid of him to make there life easy

Edited July 29, 2008 by cidergirl
spellig

[PriorityOne]

To be honest, this doesn't sound like the right environment for him anyway.... and the content is too difficult for him to understand if his reading/writing/spelling is 7 years.

 

I don't know much about e to e courses, but am assuming that DWP placed him on this ? If so, then they will have done it more for their own agenda than for his....ie, to place him somewhere/anywhere.

 

You mentioned Connexions earlier.... have they advised on any courses that would be suitable for him, according to his needs ? Do you have any ideas of your own, as his Mum ? Have you spoken to them about courses that are not linked to DWP ?... and, do they know that he gets DLA ?

 

Sorry for all the questions...

[cidergirl]

he was sent on this course because its for people who are as my older son calls them retards . who are too young to sign on but need to claim there £30 ema and have no qulifications and they do job searches tasters in different things like engineering bricklaying plastering etc they do driving test theory practice . and one to one work in maths and english so it should of been ideal for him .

connexions in my opinion are a waste of time they do know he now gets dla but they as good as told me i mother him too much and he needs to stand on his own 2 feet . they want him to see a disability person at the job centre to see what sort of job he can do thye think he wouldnt b safe on a building site

[cidergirl]

i as his mother think he does need to go to college to stop him hanging around and doing something to help him get a job i dont think he is ready for a job yet he needs another year at college and if they let him do a course in bricklaying or plastering he would enjoy it but they wont give him the choice . he needs to b given a chance and then i can get my family allowance back lol

[PriorityOne]

Sometimes the things that other people think'll be ideal, turn out to be a load of tosh... The English/Maths will be mixed ability to an extent and your son no longer has the Statemented support with these.

 

Connexions probably don't know what to do either.... but may be right about having him assessed by someone who knows about the kind of work that disabled people can do... and what will just aggravate a particular condition. It does sound as if this might be the better option here, but I would suggest that you accompany your son when he goes down there, so that the person knows the full picture about the kind of problems he has.... and the kind of problems that you have at home. If you need to follow this up with a 'phone call after the interview... perhaps to discuss concerns that you don't want to speak of in front of your son, then do that as well. Make sure the person knows that your son had a Statement at school though.... and what it was for.

 

That bit aside, he really does need to come off the cannabis... and for this, I suggest that you contact a support group that can offer advice to you (initially) and then to your son, if/when he realises that he needs to stop. He'll need to want to stop before anything can work.... which will be frustrating for you, but there's nothing I can say that will take that feeling away...

 

Please think twice about the Ritalin though.... or at least, do your own research on this drug before agreeing to give it to your son.

 

[emmaf01]

Many Disability Employment Advisors based in jobcentres are experts who truly care about the people they see and try to place. They will not just throw someone into any employment, they want to find somewhere a person will be happy. They also look at courses to enable someone to become employed further down the line. Definately worth a try.

[cidergirl]

thanks very much for your help i will see the advisor and try to get my son off cannabis

[smthjnnfr9]

hi i have two boys 16 years the other 21 both with adhd autism dyslexia dyspraxia and the youngest is partially sighted you have to try to get him some proper help actually for both of you it took me 7 years to get any help but now when my youngest goes to college in september he is going on a special course for kids with disabilities beleive me it hasent been easy a very long battle but worth it in the end keep trying, if you want to chat please contact me, there is hope

[freebird]

Cidergirl,

Do you remember when your son was 11 and the LA statemented him, for having learning difficulties and behavioural problems, what did the statement say about him receivng support from a learning mentor/Educational Support Assistant. Was his statement reviewed every year. Were there ever changes made to it to accomodate your son's needs ?

I am just curious why they never assesed him for ASD/ADHD when he was 11 or anytime between then and 17 ?

I'm also curious what the statement was given to him for. Do you feel that having the statement helped him in any way.

 

I get so mad with schools when they let our children slip through the net because of their attitudes and complaicency. We ask them for help and say that we know that our children need help but they don't listen.

It seems like there needs to be a review of the Statement, especially as there has been a dual diagnosis. It looks like your sons needs now are much greater and different than when the Statement was first written.

 

The Governement has told Local Authorities that they have to work in a more person centred way with children and young people and they are instructing professionals to work in a Team Around The Child. This way a person centred plan or a person centred review can be done for your son.

It can be very informal and your son can choose who attends the meeting. Everyone looks at your son's needs, what your son like and dislikes, what he would like to do with his life, and who he would like in a Team to help him to meet his needs. You and your son are very involved but it's then up to the professionals to make sure that your son's needs are met.

 

You can request for a person centred review of your son's statement. You need to discuss all this with someone who you feel, listens to you. maybe a health visitor, social worker, youth worker, some one in school, the SENCO perhaps. They will all be aware or person centred planning and the Team Around The Child. Does he have a connexions advisor, because they will be able to initiate this for you.

Print this off and take it to them, they can get the ball rolling.

 

You need some support with this. I went through it with my eldest son with cannibis and he only came off it when he saw his friends really ill and getting locked up etc. It shocked him in the end and when he realised it could be him,he gave it up. But we had 5 years if hell before that. He was permanently excluded from school and I need pages to tell you it all, but believe me, now he has a job, partner and two gorgeous 2 yr old twins. He still struggles sometimes but he's getting there slowly but surely. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

I struggle now to have my youngest daughter's needs met. She is 8 with Down Syndrome/ASD/ADHD, so I truly know where you are coming from.

 

Hope this helps

freebird x

[cidergirl]

hi he was statemented for social interaction behaviour difficulties and learning difficulties as he was statemented before high went to high school he was supposed to have one to one but if he refused it they used his helper on other kids in the class and they kept excluding him and sending him home so his helper helped other and not him . they used to review his statement and say we will do this that and the other and how hes got on and i just went along with it all in the last year they made him do a new start course at college which they said cost him loads of money i just wish i had asked for help but since i have 5 kids and i had lost my mum at the time and ive been in depression and not wanting to leave the house for 5 years ive jusr mulled along but now hes left school age hes worse he has a problem and his behaviuor is worse he shouts and swears all the time i cant cope with him his phsychiatrist hasnt got back to me since the beggining of the school holidays . isnt he too old for the statemnt now ?? i dont know what to do for the best

the connexions are are waste of time told me to stop mummy cuddling him

[emmaf01]

Firstly, we can't change what has happened in the past- but we can try and get help now.

 

Get back on to his psychiatrist- if he can't be bothered to get back to you within six weeks, perhaps a formal complaint threat may get him to shift. If you can't get hold of him, ask to speak to the ward or unit manager and ask for details on making a formal complaint. Tell him/her you have tried to get in touch for six weeks and you son has been desperate for help all that time. This will has a good chance to getting you a phone call at least.

 

Talk to your local job centre Disability Employment Advisor- they are quite used to having mother's involved and will be able to give advice and hopefully a proper appointment. They are very good at dealing with courses and employment for people with disabilities.

[zaffie]

Hi

Cidergirl a statement is a legal document until the age of 19 if in education.

Connexions should have specialist advisors for people with learning difficulties. They are involved to age 25 for people with learning difficulties. Have they done a S140 on him?

What about CAMHS? need to move fast only to age of 18.

Does he have a social worker?

There should have been transition planning for adult hood.

Advice you seem to need professional imput to get the help and advice your son needs. Start with social services. Has he a community care plan? have you been assessed for carers needs?

Regards

Zaffie