My wife's spending secret - Help needed

[johnwalker]

On checking our joint bank account online this morning I noticed a loan had been taken for very large amount, over £30k.

 

I called the bank as I was very concerned that someone may have used our personal details to obtain a loan.

 

After speaking to the bank countless times and to cut a long story short, this evening my wife has admitted to owning 6 credits - owing a total of £25k - taking a £7.5k loan out 2 years ago and a new loan of £16k a day ago to consolidate the bank loan and help give her cash to pay towards the credit card payments.

 

All in all she has spend a fortune over the last 5 years - so while I'm watching every penny in out joint account she's been having a right time.

 

It's all come to a head tonight and TBH if we didn't have a young daughter, one of us would be walking.

 

It seems the loan for £16k was taken out by her forging my signature and with insurance the amount would be over £36k spread over 7 years. Therefore, the loan is in my name and hers!

 

I have told her to call the bank on Monday 1st thing and cancel the loan for £16k. As she has just taken the loan I understand she can cancel it within 14 days as per the Credit Act of 2004.

 

If this goes okay, then she'll be left with around £30k of debt in her name.

 

I have told her to call the CCCS on Monday and tell them about the cards and the loan for £7.5k and that she can't afford to pay them. Even with my wage there's no way we can pay these things off.

 

Todays proceedings have left me very upset and distressed. TBH, I don't trust her and struggle to even talk to her.

 

Am I liable for my wife's debt if my name is not on the account?

 

I would appreciate some feedback on this post. Thanks for reading it.

[jumpjet]

Obviously your relationship has deteriorated for whatever reason and I appreciate that it will be hard for you, but in my opinion it would help you both to seek some kind of mediator to your problems. As you are both involved in this, might I suggest that you both talk to citizens advice initially regarding this debt. They are very approachable and will be able to advise you of your liabilities in this. Whether you are liable or not I cannot say, but CAB should be able to advise you further. The important thing here if I may say so, is to stay calm and deal with the problem together if possible. I would assume that this level of loan from a bank has been made subject to some security eg. Property? If this is joint then you will have to deal with this together more so, and the sooner you can, the sooner you will come to a resolution. Cancelling the loan from yesterday is definatley a good idea (assuming of course that no money has been recieved). I sincerely hope you can see a way through this together, and I wish you well.

[Michael Browne]

Can I also suggest talking to National Debt Helpline here:

National Debtline England & Wales | About National Debtline

[yourbank]

Loan cancellation should be fine within the first 14 days. Has any of the new loan been spent?

[johnwalker]

Thanks for your posts.

 

Seems the loan was applied for last Wednesday and is now in my wife's account. No monies have been drawn from it, the monies only showing in the account yesterday.

 

It is real important that we are able to cancel this loan, as the £16k comprises of consolidating a loan of £7.5k and a new one for £9k. The new one of £16k includes insurance and a absurd interest rate making it a total of over £36k. It seems the amount is shown in full at £36k and as it was taken out using my name as 2nd borrower, appears in my internet banking. If she had taken it out by herself I would never have known about it!

 

I'm really struggling with this. In the last few months, we've managed to pay of a loan on a motorbike and conservatory early which improves our monthly cashflow. My wife was made redundant last year and her new job pays her £200 less a month.

 

I cant take it in she's managed to hide this for 5 years. Looks like she took cash from the cards to help pay the £7.5k loan and pay the minimum payment on the cards. Looking at the statements it seems the latest payment is due within the next few days. I cant afford to make any payment on the cards as it will leave us with no money to run the house.

[yourbank]

As Michael has said speak with CCS.

I am going to ask this question and I may get slapped by others for doing. Is it possible to re mortgage the house to clear the debt completely, as a re mortgage MAY be cheaper than a loan? Is there equity in the house, i can see you have made improvements to it.

The question i am asking really is whether taking additional equity on the property will ease the burden of how you can run the house and will have the cards completely off your back. It is an avenue that you may or may not want to look at.

[johnwalker]

I have been thinking about a re-mortgage. However, this will increase my debt too and will mean repayments that will really hammer our monthly outgoings.

 

I have 'told' my wife to cancel the loan first thing in the morning and then call CCCs.

 

The question is am I liable for her debt and if the house is in joint names I am liable?

 

The car and motorbike is in my name along with most of the utility bills. The only real reason why I'm still around is our daughter. Without her, I'd have left and sought divorce.

 

This is not the first time she has lied about money but that was a few grand - This is £50+ today and all being well £30k tomorrow.

[yourbank]

If the credit cards are solely in her name(ignore remortgage idea, for now) then the debt is hers alone. Anything in joint names is jointly and severally liable. There is another much more unpleasant route to go down which is reporting it as fraud on joint applications. This has to be considered carefully.

 

With regards to remortgage idea. I would work out how much it is costing now, possibly look at the net as to how much it could cost, and then work out if it is the route to go on. As I said remortgage clears the debts and leaves one. OR another route

You wife looking either to balance transfer credit cards for a lower apr. Concentrating on minimum payments on the worst offenders and paying as much as possible onto the lowest credit card outstanding to get it paid off and working on that bit by bit by bit.

[johnwalker]

There is another much more unpleasant route to go down which is reporting it as fraud on joint applications. This has to be considered carefully.

 

Not even an option. I have a daughter who is only 9 and very sensitive. This would cause too much trauma to her and leave us even worse off.

 

As I spoke with the Bank's personal lending yesterday and asked them to look into the £36k showing in the account, tomorrow I have to call them to say an error has been made by me and that I understand what the amount is for. This is extremely embarrassing as I told them I yesterday I had not taken any loans out (yet my wife forged my signature only last Wednesday). They of course tape everything so I will have to be real candid and tell them that I cannot discuss the matter any further. Hopefully this will be enough.

 

I'm a tight git with money and every penny counts. However, despite being married for over 16yrs my wife has learnt nothing about finance.

 

For years I have only taken c/cards out which have 0% finance promotions - using them to pay for car insurance and odds and ends to avoid paying interest on them and then clearing the balance before taking a new card on! I do this to save £30 a year on insurance interest, so you get an idea how careful I am with money!

 

What baffles me is how she can get £8500 on a c/card when I am only offered £2500 when I get a new one.

 

I just hope that she is tough enough tomorrow to tell the bank she does not need the loan tomorrow.

 

Wife's parents are coming over today (god knows why). I'm opting to get out in the car, taking my daughter to the park so she can avoid hearing all the stuff she heard yesterday. Perhaps they'll find £50 to put in the kitty.

[yourbank]

There was unfortunately a time when to get an automated increase in your credit card all you had to do was not pay off the full balance. When you ring them simply say you have worked out what it was for and that you saw the total balance and thought that it was something else.(calls recorded may well not be kept for that long).

With regards to the comment I made that you highlighted, it is precisely that which is why I said what I said. Where family and kids are involved, I am sure it is a route you don't want to go on.

[johnwalker]

There was unfortunately a time when to get an automated increase in your credit card all you had to do was not pay off the full balance. When you ring them simply say you have worked out what it was for and that you saw the total balance and thought that it was something else.(calls recorded may well not be kept for that long).

With regards to the comment I made that you highlighted, it is precisely that which is why I said what I said. Where family and kids are involved, I am sure it is a route you don't want to go on.

 

Thank you for your posts - they're most appreciated.

 

[johnwalker]

Letter written to hand into bank to cancel loan.

 

Wife is going with her parents to CAB tomorrow.

[yourbank]

Good luck with everything and if you need more advice, post on here and I'm sure people will help you, even if it is by lending an ear.

[johnwalker]

The update is:

 

Wife went to CAB on Monday who advised her to write to the 6 credit card companies and inform them of the situation. She then wrote to each one with a token payment.

 

On Monday she went to the Bank with the loan cancellation letters but no one was available to help! This was because the personal finance person was not there and neither the Bank Manager or Asst Bank Manager could help. She made an appointment for Tuesday.

 

She spoke with the finance person on Tuesday advising him in writing and via conversation that 'we' wanted to cancel the loan.

 

Two days later I am chasing my wife to chase this person to ensure the loan has been cancelled - it's still showing on my internet banking.

 

In conclusion the wife is waiting for an appointment with a debt advisor c/o CAB. I don't trust her at all but I will stay put as we have a daughter.

 

One thing is for sure, she aint taking me down the road of re-mortgaging the home or using all my wages to pay for her extravagance. If we didn't have a daughter one of us would not be in the house.

 

Perhaps I'll have to wait 10 yrs til my daughter is at University before I move on!

[yourbank]

This is a terrible situation. Remember, that as a co signer on the loan(albeit without permission), you can also chase this cancellation up as well.

I think you need to give her credit for going to the CAB and that she is facing her debts openly.

Hopefully you can speak to her and see how bad it is a whether or not maybe you can help her if she has charges(late payment/overlimit ones) on the Credit Cards.

[johnwalker]

I haven't and wont praise her for going to CAB - I'm not even sure she's said sorry yet!

 

We have a joint account and I am watching every penny. As for the late payment / min payments - well, my wages wont cover the min payments on all the cards and allow us to live.

 

I have asked her what CAB said but apart from the advice re sending the letters I have been told nothing else.

 

What are her options though?

Small monthly payment to each card (for the rest of her life)

Bankruptcy (that might effect me with the joint mortgage)

[yourbank]

I have to be perfectly honest and say, that I don't know. That question is maybe better in the debt forum as I am no expert on her options.

[johnwalker]

Thanks for your posts

[Michael Browne]

JW, if you have not done so I would really recommend you talking to the National Debt line. They are very helpful, non-judgemental and you can be anonymous if you wish:

 

National Debtline England & Wales | About National Debtline

[innocent_man]

[honey5]

im sorry to say but if you cant over comne this hurt youre feeling towards your wife/partner then staying together for the sake of your daughter is going to make you all miserable

i hope there is light at the end of the tunnel for you all

honey x

[johnwalker]

Still waiting for confirmation the loan has been canceled. The personal loan guy at the bank doesn't seem to be a man of action so I asked my wife to call their H.O.

 

They said that as we have asked for the loan to be canceled it will be but to get it sorted asap they will need to speak to someone - This will be Monday, so my wife will call them again.

 

My wife is waiting for a letter from CAB which will ask her to call to arrange an appointment with a debt person. This effectively means our life is on hold.

[Goldlady]

I really do feel for you, what a horrible situation. Can I just ask, how much equity is there in the house? If there is not a great deal then it might make sense for her to go bankrupt.

[boston3603]

Hello. I can sense your anguish jumping off the page, I am so sorry you are in this mess.

I have, over a period of years built up debts to the amount of 41 thousand. The reasons for this dont matter, lets just say something bad happened and I fell to pieces. Drink and comfort spending took over. My relationship with hubby was not good for many reasons, which worsened my drinking and spending.

Buy now pay later offers, credit cards in my name and fraudulently taken out in my husbands name. 6 cards in all, 7 catalogues, loans and topping up loans. My cheapest catalogue monthly payment was £184 . In April it came down to feeding kids or paying catalogue bills. I have severe depression anyway and I considered suicide. I ended up seeing my doctor who told me to go to the CAB. They said the debts ARE the responsibility for both parties despite who took them out. You have to BOTH go and have a financial statement made out to send to the creditors and whether the creditors agree or not, make the payments allocated in statement. This statement has to be signed by BOTH of you.

Do NOT risk using money invested oN your home to pay these debts off.....YET...UNLESS YOU CAN CLEAR ALL THE DEBT. Do not pay the bigger debt off first. What you have leftover after your usual monthly spend, plus all other expenses needs to be shared fairly and proportionately. The CAB have a special computer which does this. They will ask you to consider bankrupcy, you may be forced to court so that the judge decides you have enough assets to clear the debt. LAST RESORT THOUGH.

Christ, I do understand how bad you are feeling. In my own defence, I was so hurt , communication stopped and I found new ways of "coping".

You must though, have noticed something. New perfume, jewellery, clothes, bags, excuses to go out, sitting at the computer, household items, etc?? My husband noticed, but shut it out. So he became part of the problem because he didnt want to face the real problems. It makes no difference whether you leave you partner or not. The debts are there.

You may find, like me and hubby that this is the hardest time you will ever have, but BELIEVE ME, you will not feel as miserable as she is deep down, especially when she discovers that the debt she has incurred in your name ARE her responsibility also.

I am at that stage now, where I can cope with the constant calls from creditors because they know if they try to bankrupt us, they still get the same amount, except only for one year, then the bankrupcy is lifted. Fortunately for me, I have my inheritance before long so I can clear all these debts and walk out the other end, having learned some very important lessons. DO NOT haggle with ANY of the creditors, no-matter what. They will lie in order to get money out of you. The CAB will inform them of your rights about being harrassed. Let the CAB help you. They dont care whats caused the debt, only to stop your life being made worse. They will put everything in perspective and you will feel in control again. Your wife should respect you for it. The CAB will want all the credit cards back, make a file of who the creditors are and will support you with judging either of you. You may, at the end of it all wish to leave your wife. You may even discover new and more likeable things in each other having been through this traumer. Your wife though, needs to have some cognitive behavioural therapy in order to change her thought patterns, sos not to get into this mess again. Whether you are with her or not if she dont sort this out with you, sh'ell do it to the next person.

I am so very sorry my part in our financial mess but I am proud to be taking responsibility now and looking after our finances. I am sorry you ahve suffered for your wifes mistakes and hope all works out for you. Do take care, try to stay strong.

[boston3603]

thats support you WITHOUT judging you.