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98 year old woman's response to her bank.


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This was sent to me as an email, I think it's a wonderful idea:-

 

A 98 year old woman in the UK wrote this to her bank.

> The bank manager thought it sufficiently amusing have it

> published in the Times..

> Lets hope he also did the right thing by his customer.

>

> Dear Sir,

>

> I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with

> which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my

> calculations, three 'nanoseconds' must have elapsed

> between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my

> account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of

> course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Pension, an

> arrangement, which, I admit, has been in place for only

> thirty eight years. You are to be commended for seizing

> that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my

> account £30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused

> to your bank.

>

> My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this

> incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

> I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your

> telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I

> am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging,

> pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

> From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a

> flesh-and-blood person.

>

> My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and

> hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your

> bank by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to

> an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware

> that it is an offence under the Postal Act for any other

> person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an

> Application Contact Status which I require your chosen

> employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages,

> but in order that I know as much about him or her as your

> bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note

> that all copies of his or her medical history must be

> countersigned by a Solicitor, and the mandatory details of

> his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and

> liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

>

> In due course, I will issue your employee with PIN

> number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I

> regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again,

> I have modelled it on the number of button presses required

> of me to access my account balance on your phone bank

> service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of

> flattery.

>

> Let me level the playing field even further. When you

> call me, press buttons as follows:

>

> 1 - To make an appointment to see me.

> 2 - To query a missing payment.

> 3 - To transfer the call to my living room in case I am

> there.

> 4 - To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am

> sleeping.

> 5 - To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am

> attending to nature.

> 6 - To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not

> at home.

> 7 - To leave a message on my computer (a password to

> access my computer is required. A password will be

> communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized

> Contact.)

> 8 - To return to the main menu and to listen to options

> 1 through to 8.

> 9 - To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact

> will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my

> automated answering service. While this may, on occasion,

> involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the

> duration of the call.

>

> Regrettably, but again following your example, I must

> also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of

> this new arrangement.

>

> May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less

> prosperous, New Year.

>

> Your Humble Client

>

>(Remember: This was written by a 98 year old woman;

> DOESN'T SHE MAKE YOU PROUD!)

>

Don't know if i'm coming or going!

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98 year old woman's response to her bank.

 

awwwww bless

 

:o

 

My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and

> hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your

> bank by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to

> an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

 

ELL-ENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN think she may need your help at some point :D

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The accuracy of the thread is in question... How many 98 yr olds have a mortgage? I suspect... it is a work of fiction ! *shock, horror *

i will be off site for the next month or so. if you have any problems, feel free to report the post so a moderator can help you.

 

I am not a qualified or practicing lawyer.

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Always makes an amusing read but has been doing the rounds for many years

 

snopes.com: Bounced Check Complaint

 

skb

Victory over Lloyds £890

Click!

Victory over Vodafone: default removal

click!

Victory over Lloyds PPI claim £2606 click!

Barclaycard lazygoing - £580 + £398 contractual int at 17.7 % click! (Received partial payment £110 21/11/06)

The GF's battle against RBS click! stayed awaiting the end of the world

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Strangely enough it was an email along the lines of the OP that led me to CAG in the first place...........many thanks to whoever it was who sent it to me :grin::grin::grin:

Victory over Lloyds £890

Click!

Victory over Vodafone: default removal

click!

Victory over Lloyds PPI claim £2606 click!

Barclaycard lazygoing - £580 + £398 contractual int at 17.7 % click! (Received partial payment £110 21/11/06)

The GF's battle against RBS click! stayed awaiting the end of the world

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Fact or Fiction how fun would it be a to have a nan that could write a letter like that :lol:

I am a consumer just like you, please get a second opinion or investigate yourself on anything I advise as I am in no way legally trained. Everything I know has come from the Mighty CAG and fellow CAGGERS. :cool:

 

If I have helped in any way please click my reputation star and make a donation to CAG to enable us all to continue to help each other :cool:

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THIS ONE has done the rounds but still makes me smile.

I Wish you everything you wish yourself.

 

NatWest Claimed £1,639. Accepted £1,344.

Natwest Paid me again as GOGW £1,656. Yes they can have it back if they say please.

Barclays 1 Claimed £1,260. Won by default. Paid in full

Barclays 2 Claimed £2,378. Won by default. Paid in full

Birmingham Midshires. Claimed £2,122. Accepted £2,075.

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