When things get too much to cope.

[Guest forgottenone]

When you are literally pumelled time and time and time again. When you've had everything in your life stolen from you, when you know you are never likely to ever work again in your life, and had every ounce of self respect torn away from your body, and there is nothing more, really anyone can do to you because you are already so belted into the ground. When you've gone to get help from people you thought were there to help you in crisis and it's just not there.

 

When you know, just know what what pitifully little you have in your life is going to be taken away again ... because of debt and nothing can stop it.

 

When you are pressured on so many sides by so many problems outside your control, which you know are always going to be there and will never get better because your situation is one hellish viscious circle.

 

Is not being here, being around anymore ... an alternative to living in an existence of never ending misery, what else can anyone do to you? Except to pummel you further into the ground, because you have nothing so deserve to have everything removed.

 

If the only alternative is constantly living with this sad existence, this constant pain. What is the point? Life means nothing.

 

If that sounds like I am giving up. Maybe it's because I have come to the self realization that nothing is going to get better about my situation.

[Guest wino]

Oh forgotton one please don't give up. I think you need to go and speak to your Doctor as soon as you can. I know it feels like the whole world has got it in for you but it hasn't.

 

Life is hard for lots of people but you just have to hold your head up and take each day as it comes.

 

I have had a hellish time for many years and just when I think thats it what else can possibly happen now something comes along and kicks me in the teeth.

 

My friends joke about everything that happens to me is the 'curse of the 'wino' (real name used usually) They don't know anyone with as much bad luck as me. I am not going to give up. The answer to your question is NO SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER.

[Guest wino]

I have just had a quick look through your previous posts cos I a worried about you. You have obviously been scammed by some unscrupilous people aiding to the situation you find yourself in now.

Will you not take these people to court to get back your money?

[angel_1]

Good Afternoon forgottonone and wino

 

im sorry to hear of the problems you have had, but please reflect on your life, its worth something to you, dont ever give up on yourself, even though i can understand what you are saying - life is hard at times, but please dont end your life in such a drastic way - your family and friends will miss you too much.

 

i have also read some of you posts, i can see what you are saying but your life is worth far more than those horrible people.

 

im fighting my own demons in my own way, and yes i have also got to the point of thinking if im gone i would be able to sleep forever - but then my daughter and husband would be devasted and i cannot think of anything worse that would hurt them.

 

taking control is the first huge step ive took to help me with my and the family debts, it was such a huge effort, but i did it from the help here and informing myself of my legal rights.

 

if anything i can pass on is that knowledge is power, and there is always a way never give up

 

anytime you want a chin wag im here and im sure others will be too

 

take care of yourself

 

ciao for now MAZ

[ukaviator]

Hello Forgottenone

 

There are people who have been in the exactly the same position as you, and have somehow found the strength to come out of it, and have gone on to find happiness and fulfilment in life. To be able to cope with life more easily they have found alternatives to suicide and were glad that they did not take their own life.

 

You may feel like this now because the pain you are feeling has become unbearable. Just talking to someone else about how you are feeling can take some of that weight off your shoulders. There may be other things you can do to help yourself cope, to change things, to survive.

 

Talk to a friend, a relative, a helpline, a counsellor, look at some of the websites where other people have felt suicidal. Give yourself some time to find some support, some help with coping and talk to others about how you are really feeling.

 

You have already had a couple of responses on this thread, let's continue to talk about things that are upsetting you. It may take time, but don't give up.

[steven4064]

Hi Forgottenone

 

Maz used some very important words in post #4 - taking control. One of the reasons you feel like you do is that these people have bullied you into believing that everything is outside your control and pointless. What loads of people have found on this site is that you can take back control of your life. You don't have to put up with being treated this way.

 

Debt is a hard problem but it can be overcome. If you will let us, there are loads of people here who are only too willing to help you in that struggle. You are not forgotten.

[MARTIN3030]

Forgottenone-as you have seen,no one here has forgotten YOU..Its easy to give people hope and reassurance-if you have never known despair or lonliness,but you will see by the replies that others here have been in that same place.What makes us different is how we are able to get through these times.You should always remember that somewhere there is someone much worse who have no hopes of finding peace from their torture..as long as you have air to breathe a roof over your head food to eat...and people such as these here to talk to you-then theres always a way to see through the mist.

Life can be cruel and so unpredictable-no one knows what lies around the corner.But as things can change for the worse without warning,so can they change for the better.Be glad that you have life itself-Light can come from darkness and sometimes we have to experience unhappiness before we can really appreciate real happiness.I am sure there are those around you who will want to help you through whatever it is that gives you so much despair-give them a chance to do this-and dont be afraid to express yourself here.You have seen some replies-I am certain there are many more to come.

 

Lets start some positive thoughts by changing the thread title....I think we are all agreed that its NOT the answer...the way back begins when you accept thats its not

Edited June 25, 2008 by MARTIN3030

[honey5]

I really think you need to see your Gp about the way you are feeling, your thoughts are very dark right now, and the Gp isnt going to frown at you nor look down upon you and think that you are any less of a person for asking for a little help at this time

You know you have the support of many on this site and that theyll always be there for you:)

Youve over come the first step and your post is quite admirable in that youve accepted the fact that those feelings exist That step is your first major hurdle on the way to transforming your thoughts

 

You know theres also always someone about in chat when things seem really bad, whether to laugh or cry or scream at, its live so your concerns etc are listened too and people will try to help in whatever way they can Leaves you feeling "not so alone" in the world

 

heres the link anyways and you know we are there cidb.co.uk - Consumer Information Database Chat Room

 

take care

tracy xxx

[Zimmie]

Forgottenone, I understand how you are feeling, I've been in that dark place too. I was ripped off unmercifully by a man who saw that my health problems rendered me vulnerable. He was always going to repay 'when he found a job'. Like a fool I married him, after 3 weeks he became very violent towards me, he was always full of remorse...of course. Stupidly I took it all in, after all he assured me it was due to his frustration of not finding a job. I was in a very well paid job at the time, so he said it was unnecessary for him to sign on for JSA...haha good one...in other words...if I sign on they'll want me to find a job!

After 3 months of marriage he attacked me so violently I couldn't attend work and my mental health problems, which I had been well on the mend from, returned with a vengence. He left and went to stay with relatives in the north, I was sectioned. While I was in hospital he returned to my house and took a pc, dvd players, tvs, etc,etc.

When I was discharged he contacted me, desperate to try again...well I told you I was a fool..I agreed. This time though he only stayed with me at weekends, said he was doing a course which would allow him to get a brilliant job, and repay the loan I had taken in my name for him, my credit cards that he had maxed out. After just a few weekends the violence started again because I couldn't afford to pay for repairs to his car...I had been off work for six months and was on half pay. After one particularly bad episode of violence against me I attempted to hit him back...he called the police and I was arrested! Two policemen threw me across the arm of my sofa, handcuffed me and dragged me out of the house to the police car. I wasn't charged with anything, but because he had told them I self harm they weren't interested in the bruising on my body. When I eventually got home, he had again left after emptying the meagre contents of my purse, he even took £3 left on the telephone table for the window cleaner.

I wasn't sectioned this time as I agreed to be admitted to the physchiatric unit voluntarily. I was so vulnerable and felt so alone that I agreed to stay in contact with 'him'.

Not longer after my employment was terminated due to ill health, when my so called husband found out I was due to recieve monies because of this he wanted to try to patch things up again. You'd think I'd leant my lesson by now...but no..and I agreed. Well within a few weeks he had taken all my money again, then when it ran out he turned violent again....I snapped and cut my wrists...life really did seem pointless. Well he did call an ambulance...one point in his favour I suppose. He stayed for a week after this, just long enough to take my income support payment. Then he left after calling me some of the vilest things imaginable.

Fortunately my daughter had been staying at my Mom's because of my health, and hadn't seen a lot of what was happening. She wanted to come home, this was the push I needed to cope...and mostly I have.

I saw a solicitor and applied for a divorce, made a will in my daughter's sole favour. Sadly my solicitor wan't much use, and I have been forced to give up any hope of reclaiming my possessions, or any of the money he coerced from me. So I am now left with no job and no hope of working again, over £30,000 debt, and very nasty scars on my wrists...but I have my daughter, I have my cats, I have my little garden where I can watch nature peform its magic, I can hear the birds singing, I can watch them feed their babies when I put some food out for them. I even still have a few friends who stuck by me through all of this, not many but a few, and they are the ones who matter.

I've just been informed that a charge is to be registered against my home to pay for my legal aid, as I won my case....really...was that winning? I'd say losing was more the case, but as he didn't make a claim on my home (the one I'd owned for 12 years before meeting him, the one he never paid anything towards), that means I had sucessfully defended his claim against it! I started to go downhill when I found this out...but hell I'm better than that..oh I'll challenge it, but I've been through worse and come out of it.

So can you Forgottenone.

Sadly there are some people in the world who will exploit others vulnerability, but try to see the good that is out there too. I still am unable to form new friendships as I can't trust, as for a relationship...I don't think that will ever happen, but a little chat with my next door neighbour, or a few cheery words with a check out assistant makes my day...little things maybe but big things for me.

I no longer consider my husband's physical and financial abuse as something that wrecked my life...it changed it yes, but through change I've come to appreciate much more.

The dark times can't be switched off at will, consider them more like solar powered garden lights, the more sun, the brighter they are.

Forgottenone, you are not alone, you have other forum members who know how it feels.

Sending you some hugs {{X}}

[Guest wino]

Well done Zimmie for being so open. You've had a bad time but you are consentrating on the positives.

[sweetnsexyenglish]

When you are literally pumelled time and time and time again. When you've had everything in your life stolen from you, when you know you are never likely to ever work again in your life, and had every ounce of self respect torn away from your body, and there is nothing more, really anyone can do to you because you are already so belted into the ground. When you've gone to get help from people you thought were there to help you in crisis and it's just not there.

 

When you know, just know what what pitifully little you have in your life is going to be taken away again ... because of debt and nothing can stop it.

 

When you are pressured on so many sides by so many problems outside your control, which you know are always going to be there and will never get better because your situation is one hellish viscious circle.

 

Is not being here, being around anymore ... an alternative to living in an existence of never ending misery, what else can anyone do to you? Except to pummel you further into the ground, because you have nothing so deserve to have everything removed.

 

If the only alternative is constantly living with this sad existence, this constant pain. What is the point? Life means nothing.

 

If that sounds like I am giving up. Maybe it's because I have come to the self realization that nothing is going to get better about my situation.

 

I really wanted to reply to your thread, the title drew me as its how I feel... I will come back and leave you a proper message as currently I have a major issue and am just trying to get some letters in the post before 4. But have a read through my posts, especially my notice seeking possession post. You will see YOU are not alone, and there are some terrific people on CAG to help you fight when you feel you have lost the will to continue. And at times things do seem very bleak and endless but that should not be enough to make you consider that things would be better with YOU.

 

I am wondering what else I can possibly endure as I feel I am at breaking point and unable to cope, but what keeps me going is wondering what would happen to my children if I stop coping. I have no idea if you have children or not but there must be someone in your life that would suffer if you were not here.

 

Sending blessings your way and will come back later after I have done my letters;)

[74656]

I am sorry to read this thread.

 

Can I suggest you go away for a couple of days, somewhere where no one can reach you and you think about you.

Edited October 14, 2008 by ciaomc2002
post removed by user as to remove personal information

[Peepo]

Hello forgottenone, I know how you feel & I fully agree with those who have said its about getting back in control, even if its just a very tiny piece.

 

When you go from being a person who has life under control, who knows where they are going & what they are doing, to being a person whose life is out of control, descisions made by people who have only their best interests & hidden agendas at heart, and it feels like you are only ever treading water. This is a bewlidering feeling. I have felt for a long time. Like I am a ball in a pinball machine, rolling round aimlessly my direction decided by the bumpers & flippers that want to make as many points as they can out of me & stop me rolling out of sight to a fresh start. It makes me so angry.

 

Try to find one element of your finances where you can have control, whether it be letters sent to DCA's letting them know you know your rights. Talking to the Citizens Advice for information on where you can go from here. Small steps, but they have helped me a great deal & I have a small feeling that I call the shots. This advice from this site has helped me regain the small morcels of control which are spurring me on to get it all back in control & become the confident person I once was. I hope the site helps you too.

Peepo

[Brassed off]

It does get better - believe me

[ammani]

Hello forgottenone, i am sorry and concerned that you feel this way, but sympathise, as i too felt this way a few years ago, it was only the fact that i had 2 young children, that gave me the motivation to do something about it. Life is precious, and even though you feel this way, you still have an inner strength that you can tap into, everyone is special in their own right.Others may have made you feel bad about yourself and unworthy, but you are unique.Try and have positive thoughts,instead of negative ones, as negative energy will attract more negative energy. Go out and walk in the countryside, and enjoy what you see, smell and feel, this is one of the quickest ways to make yourself feel better, as it produces endorphins in the brain, which give you the feel good factor. Start to take control of your life, it is an empowering feeling. You certainly are not forgotten, there are many on this site that feel for you and support you, as i do. When things seem to be too much for you, please feel free to contact me, and i will gladly offer you my support.