Foster Carers

[BeauBrummie]

Here Here Coniff

 

I posted to this thread several PAGES ago I cannot beleive that this thread can continue in the same selfish vein, but while it does the OP is gonna get alot of flack.

 

Still if they can take it !!

 

BB

[blue4ever]

Nobody refers to foster carers as 'foster parents' anymore)

 

 

i just gave you a link that doe`s

[Robertxc]

Nobody refers to foster carers as 'foster parents' anymore)

 

 

i just gave you a link that doe`s

**Yawn** Ok, no-one in the UK who has any knowledge of or is professionally involved with fostering refers to foster carers as 'foster parents' when refering to them in an official capacity.

[Conniff]

The BAAF says

 

"What do children and young people want?

 

Fostering to provide a 'normal' life.

 

To belong in the foster family, to be loved listened to and encouraged

 

What do children and young people resent

 

Resent feeling that carers are only doing it for the money"

 

 

Oh dear!

[Robertxc]

The BAAF says

 

"What do children and young people want?

 

Fostering to provide a 'normal' life.

 

To belong in the foster family, to be loved listened to and encouraged

 

What do children and young people resent

 

Resent feeling that carers are only doing it for the money"

 

 

Oh dear!

I don't understand...

Are you suggesting that because Phatram feels undervalued at work it must mean she's only in it for the money? That's ridiculous.

[Conniff]

That is not what my post or the BAAF says, it says 'feeling'.

 

And that is exactly what I am getting from this whole thread.

[Robertxc]

That is not what my post or the BAAF says, it says 'feeling'.

 

And that is exactly what I am getting from this whole thread.

I don't think Phatram has implied anywhere that she has ever let her frustrations

be known to any children she is caring for.

 

You have to remember that there is a very high (some would say unrealistic) expectation of what the carer will provide for the children. As has been stated, most of the money a carer gets is for maintenance of the child, and along with that comes a pretty lengthy list of things the child is expected to have.

[phatram]

You want to check this site out then

The National Voice of Foster Parents

 

nobody calls foster carers ---foster parents

 

WHAT--EVER

 

Thats not here, its the USA.

[blue4ever]

if you look at post171 it was said NOBODY ,,,,,i was making a point that people still use the term foster parents

[phatram]

Perhaps its time to stop feeding the trolls?

I had hoped for some constructive comments, but alas the people with hidden agendas have reared their heads once again.

Thanks to those of you who have posted with serious comments.

Sf, Im sorry about your predicament, but think, If you were looking after someone elses child with similar problems to your own, what would you expect to be paid?

 

The fostering network are pushing for many things one of which is the following,

Payments

 

Fostering services should distinguish clearly between allowances intended to cover the cost of fostering and payments in recognition of time, skill and work.

 

Fostering services should develop payment systems for foster carers that ensure fees equate with comparable employment in the children’s workforce. Professional responsibility must be matched by professional remuneration.

 

No doubt some of you will disagree with the above, well remember that doesn't make you right!

[Bookworm]

Simply because people don't agree with you doesn't make them trolls with hidden agendas.

 

Simply because people agree with you doesn't make their comments any more (or less) serious.

 

You are being exceedingly dismissive of anybody's opinion but your own, and avoid responding to anything which puts in question your self-created martyr image. (My post about Carer's Allowance, for instance, which unless I am very much mistaken, got completely ignored)

 

I feel that the reason for the negative response to your thread is totally self-inflicted. As a foster carer, most people would have been ready to admire you, support you and praise you, yet most responses you got are very negative. Instead of dismissing those responses out of hand as "trollish", why don't you ask yourself why you got such an overwhelmingly negative response? ;-)

[blue4ever]

--

[phatram]

Simply because people don't agree with you doesn't make them trolls with hidden agendas.

 

Simply because people agree with you doesn't make their comments any more (or less) serious.

 

You are being exceedingly dismissive of anybody's opinion but your own, and avoid responding to anything which puts in question your self-created martyr image. (My post about Carer's Allowance, for instance, which unless I am very much mistaken, got completely ignored)

 

I feel that the reason for the negative response to your thread is totally self-inflicted. As a foster carer, most people would have been ready to admire you, support you and praise you, yet most responses you got are very negative. Instead of dismissing those responses out of hand as "trollish", why don't you ask yourself why you got such an overwhelmingly negative response? ;-)

 

Most of the negative responses are from non foster carers,surely that says something?

[phatram]

By the same logic, one would expect Carer's Allowance to be a lot more than £50 a week, considering how much more someone being cared for at home by a non-professional carer would cost if they were in a home/cared for by a professional carer. Yet, that is all one gets, despite the fact that a carer is unlikely to be able to go to work, will have little or no respite, will often be on 24/7 with no relief from a second person, and will often be completely isolated from any help. Oh, and regardless how many people a carer looks after, they are only entitled to one lot of CA, not one per person cared for. And if they're on another benefit like Income Support, their CA gets taken into account. Need I go on?

 

Sorry for not answering this one, must have been busy.

We totally agree with your points and suggest you start a thread where you will receive our full support.

The only difference which people keep missing the point on is the fact that we look after other peoples children, our own are grown up and successful.

Looking after others peoples children is very very different, to looking after your own.

May I suggest people try to do some research into what I mean before having a go!

[Saffronflowers]

.

Sf, Im sorry about your predicament, but think, If you were looking after someone elses child with similar problems to your own, what would you expect to be paid?

 

It is not a predicament, it is just our life, if I could do respite care for someone with CF, I would, however, kids with CF cannot be together due to cross contamination - however, if I could what would I wish to be paid - NOTHING NADA ZILCH it would be nice to have my expenses covered but if they were not it would not stop me. The reward for me would be to help someone else.

 

I have worked for the CAB and dealt with some extremely harrowing and debilitating cases. Do I expect to be paid or referred to as a proffesional - NO I do it because I have the skills and the knowledge to make a difference. Before you say well you can go leave it when you finish work, you are most definately wrong. There are several posts on here on the Bailiff forum where I have posted that I have had to step away from helping people as it was too emotianlly draining.

 

I no longer do my volunatry work as I needed a break and that is what I have done.

 

SFx

[Bookworm]

The only difference which people keep missing the point on is the fact that we look after other peoples children

Now YOU are missing the point, Carer's Allowance is not necessarily claimed by a parent for their own child. It can be an adult caring for another adult (related or not), a child looking after their parent(s), the permutations are many.

 

We totally agree with your points and suggest you start a thread where you will receive our full support.

Therein lies the difference: I am not asking for support. I do what I do, some of us do it because we have to, some because we choose to, and we just get on with it.

 

I only brought it up to point out the discrepancy between situations which have a lot of similarities and yet, the financial aspects are totally disproportionate, and also maybe try to bring a little perspective.

 

As for research, I happen to have done a fair bit, as it was something we were looking into a few years back. The reasons we didn't are not relevant to this thread, but I can say that the reason we were looking into it in the first place was not about viewing it as a great career move.

 

I think I have said all I am going to say on this thread, I think it is more than obvious that nothing anyone say will make you see what we are seeing on this thread.

[phatram]

As I said,

Most of the negative responses are from non foster carers,!

[Janet-M]

I looked into foster caring and went on the training but for reasons outside my control I was unable to do it at that time.I very very much want to do it in the future .I want to do it because my own children are so very happy and make me so happy .I want to give another child that chance of happiness that they may not otherwise have .I have never once asked how much I would be paid .I have many friends who are foster carers and I have never even discussed what they are paid.As you say these children are in the care of the local authority so I will take it as red that legally they have to provide for them .ME I would do it just for my expenses (for common sense reasons) .I couldn't possibly even imagine bringing a child into my home and then saying ''oh I am on my annual leave next week and going to Disney with my kids but don't worry you will be carted off to another foster carer until I come back '' I would GLADLY take the child with me .

 

Yes some foster carers are in it for the right reasons and some are not ..I am very aware of one who is playing the system but it just can't be proved and she can give a good talk, on the very rare visits the social worker makes.I always thought that she must of been a very decent caring person to be a FC but quickly realised that even in that 'job' you get good and bad .

 

I fully agree with what some users have said in that you come across as me me me .

 

This thread actually saddens me

[Saffronflowers]

Do you feel you are subsidising local government by having to pay out your cash to look after "their" children and young people?

 

We are trying to start a campaign to get a better deal for foster carers and would be grateful of any input

 

Mr and Mrs P

 

Well it is not working here is it - damn glad you dont work in PR because this would be an unmittigated disaster of a campain now would it not.

 

I some how think that you have not found many supporters, do you?

 

Vitriol, anger and aggresion and not the most persausive of tactics. Empathy, information and understanding of others points of view are.

 

In all of the hundreds of posts on this thread you have not appreciated the opportunity to debate but merely belittle or name call other posters, and for that matter your charges.

 

In all the 12 years of posting on the internet I have never ever seen someone tell a Moderator to start their own thread, I was shocked.

 

I for one am now bored with your self centred attitude and will no longer post in the hope that this thread gets lost within the annals of the CAG database.

 

In the words of my locquacious daughter "Get over it!"

 

SF

[blue4ever]

--

[Bookworm]

Blue4ever, the above is not what Phatram was saying about his fostering experience, he was quoting what *I* was saying about Carer's Allowance.

 

Phatram detailed his package right at the beginning of the thread. ;-)

[Conniff]

I looked into foster caring and went on the training but for reasons outside my control I was unable to do it at that time.I very very much want to do it in the future .I want to do it because my own children are so very happy and make me so happy .I want to give another child that chance of happiness that they may not otherwise have .I have never once asked how much I would be paid .I have many friends who are foster carers and I have never even discussed what they are paid.

 

 

Now that is a posting that would get everyone willing to help, here is someone who would obviously put the children first, it just oodles with love.

If you had begun this thread in a similar fashion, I doubt very much if any of the other posters would have taken the line they have.

 

I hope you get your wish Janet and the deserving children get you.

 

There is no feeling in your posts at all Phatram and you are still making it hard for yourself with things like:

 

look after other peoples children

 

That should say 'looking after these unfortunate children'.

 

You are still focused soley on the money and are still making comments about it, and trying to get sf to back you up, hoping she feels the same way:

 

If you were looking after someone elses child with similar problems to your own, what would you expect to be paid?

 

tut tut.

[ohoh4312]

O M G

 

I have just read the whole of this thread, and I find the OP's opinions very disturbing.

 

Foster Care is just that - CARING. Making the life of a child in unfortunate circumstances a little bit better. You cannot put a price on that.

 

I have a friend whose parents fostered for years - the children are all grown up and have their own lives now, but still talk about, and keep in contact with their "brothers and sisters" - that's how it was, just one big family.

 

Money was never an issue, well, actually I should say MORE money was never an issue - what they had was used wisely so that all the children, natural and fostered, were fed and clothed and wanted for little.

 

Of course that was in the days before designer labels, ipods, mobile phones etc, but also before tax credits and other benefits - those children grew up feeling loved and cared for, and deprived of nothing.

 

Isn't the issue more about giving these children a stable loving environment where they feel safe and wanted, than about giving them the latest gadgets and branded clothes? Safe, stable, loved and cared for costs nothing.

 

On another point the OP states that he/she (I got confused on that one) files a self-assessment as a self-employed person, but wants holiday pay, sick pay and pension credits. Well, my OH is self-employed, as are 30-40 other people I know, and as a Tax advisor also, those "perks" do NOT exist under self-employment - if you are off sick, you are not working, therefore you are not paid; the same goes for holidays, and as you are not working for an employer, your pension is your own responsibility.

 

I understand that to foster takes a special type of person, however I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of people becoming foster carers through profit, and not the core reason of giving these children a better life, regardless.

[phatram]

This months edition of FOSTER care magazine has some very interesting reading in it.

If any of you can get hold of a copy, you may understand a little more what we are campaigning for.

It is available for £3.

When you've read it, feel free to give an opinion.

[Conniff]

I know what your campaigning for, you have said a hundred times, you're fed up with looking after 'other peoples' children and want 'more' than £700 per week to do so.

 

You've made it loud and clear, you're very gready.