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Cheekiness towards a DCA

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If you need articles for your new website, I am a reasonable writer. Here is one I have just written off the top of my head -

 

DEBT COLLECTORS IN CLOVER AS THEY DISCOVER ANCIENT LAW TO GIVE THEM NEW POWERS

 

 

The highly esteemed debt collection industry, bastion of our culture and our creed, pride of our glorious nation, was today given an inestimable boost by the discovery of an ancient scroll containing an old law which was never repealed by Parliament. The rediscovery of The Act Of Peaceful Entry 1648 will come as a massive boon to our beleagured industry at a time when those naughty people at a certain consumer forum have been rather spoiling our party.

 

The Act Of Peaceful Entry 1648 will restore much needed powers to the debt collection industry. The Act gives what are called "surgeon-bailiffs" an unlimited right of entry in to the body of any miserable snivelling worthless debtor, for the purpose of securing body parts and organs which may then be sold at auction to cover any outstanding debt. Plus the obligatory 1,000% in interest, multiple "naughty boy" charges, and then the perfectly justifiable interest on the naughty boy charges. The considerable growth of the medical research and transplant industries in the period since 1648 will doubtless enhance the usefulness and profitability of enforcement of the Act.

 

Resistance to the lawful activity of the surgeon-bailiff is a criminal offence punishable by death. Upon death, the body will be dismembered and the parts sold in lieu of the balance as above, along with a fine for disobedience which will pay for some more comfy chairs in the local police station. These chairs are a matter of national importance, given the extended period of use they are likely to enjoy. Discoverer of the document which has brought the new law to light, Dr. Frank N. Stein, has said that the rediscovery of the new law is "a massive boon to society, which will not only give the fine upstanding citizens of the finance industry much-needed new powers, it will at the same time decrease the number of worthless debtors without the need for public money to be wasted on cremation or burial. I am truly excited by this development".

 

Dr. Stein was also quick to point out that the rediscovery of the old law also solves one of the great mysteries of Victorian London, what were once believed to be the Whitechapel Murders of 1888. It can now be confirmed that the alleged murders were in fact nothing of the sort, and that Dr. Jack T. Ripper of London Town was in fact eviscerating organs as part of his lawful duties as an enforcer of The Act Of Peaceful Entry 1648. The unfortunate but completely inconsequential passing away of the debtors is, I suppose, to some degree regrettable.

 

The wonderful and magnificent Credit Industry of which we are so proud to be a part looks forward to many years of profitable and effective use of this rediscovered legislation. We are totally confident in the sound judgement of our unreproachable colleagues in Westminster who we are sure will have no thoughts of repealing such a magnificent part of our heritage as this wonderful old Act of Parliament. It is, of course, perfectly feasible that a significant percentage of our increased profits could find their way into the coffers of the major political parties (HINT HINT), which will be a magnificent demonstration of what can be achieved when public and private sectors work together. We are glowing with pride at the contribution of our industry to the nation's well-being, in our ability to work so closely with our elected representatives to further the better interests of all the wonderful citizens of our homeland. Including, of course, the poor debtors for whom we feel so much sympathy, and who will be freed of their debt problems forever by this ingenious legislation. It is a true landmark day in the culture of our society.

 

SH

 

 

This definately needs putting in the news section on crudit today :D

  • Haha 1

:)I am not an expert, but I can give good advice about Brighthouse:)

 

Am learning more and more about DCA's too :)

 

I have no legal experience and all advice given is based on the knowledge I've gained from this site.

 

<------If you think I have been helpful, please feel free to tip my scales - remember to put your CAG name though!

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hmmm have just run the Real credit today site through W3C Markup Validator for Html code..... 28 Errors, 55 warning(s).

 

So the CCA regs are not the only rules they egnore........why does that not surprise me:p..............................looks like i will have to start from the begining to get it anywhere near complient:rolleyes:

  • Haha 1

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Clemma I noticed your post about OH's IVA on last page.

 

Wondered if we could help each other here:

 

http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/formal-solutions-bankruptcy-administration/121272-how-get-out-iva.html


BANK CHARGES

Nat West Bus Acct £1750 reclaim - WON

 

LTSB Bus Acct £1650 charges w/o against o/s balance - WON

 

Halifax Pers Acct £1650 charges taken from benefits - WON

 

Others

 

GE Money sec loan - £1900 in charges - settlement agreed

GE Money sec loan - ERC of £2.5K valid for 15 years - on standby

FirstPlus - missold PPI of £20K for friends - WON

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No problems here, but i have had trouble with sky dropping out today.

 

It still needs some setting up/testing, shall see how it goes:)

 

works fine in Firefox here.

managed to register, and post on the forum without issue.


Carpe Jugulum

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Yep, chrome is fine with crudit today. Signed in, posted - champion :D


:)I am not an expert, but I can give good advice about Brighthouse:)

 

Am learning more and more about DCA's too :)

 

I have no legal experience and all advice given is based on the knowledge I've gained from this site.

 

<------If you think I have been helpful, please feel free to tip my scales - remember to put your CAG name though!

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Worked on Firefox for me. What fun:D


BANK CHARGES

Nat West Bus Acct £1750 reclaim - WON

 

LTSB Bus Acct £1650 charges w/o against o/s balance - WON

 

Halifax Pers Acct £1650 charges taken from benefits - WON

 

Others

 

GE Money sec loan - £1900 in charges - settlement agreed

GE Money sec loan - ERC of £2.5K valid for 15 years - on standby

FirstPlus - missold PPI of £20K for friends - WON

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You get the logo's and the forum in firfox, but the menu down the left hand side disapears after briefly apearing on the right :confused:

 

But as long as the forum is ok thats the main bit i needed to check was alright :D

 

by the way, its not fully set up yet so may lose anything posted before im done :)


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Works fine with me in Firefox........but i probably missed something about what the forum is for??

 

Ta

 

Tierisch

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Works fine with me in Firefox........but i probably missed something about what the forum is for??

 

Ta

 

Tierisch

 

'tis called taking the p1$$ out of credit today and Ron Bidwell ;)


:)I am not an expert, but I can give good advice about Brighthouse:)

 

Am learning more and more about DCA's too :)

 

I have no legal experience and all advice given is based on the knowledge I've gained from this site.

 

<------If you think I have been helpful, please feel free to tip my scales - remember to put your CAG name though!

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with you now.....sounds good!

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its crashed after i posted


OFT debt collection guidance

 

Please remember the only stupid question is the one you dont ask so dont worry about asking the stupid questions.

 

Essex girl in pc world looking 4 curtains 4 her pc,the assistant says u dont need curtains 4 a computer!!Essex girl says,''HELLOOO!! i,ve got WINDOWS!!'.

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just got this............................

 

404_01.gif

ERROR 404 - PAGE NOT FOUND

Oops! Looks like the page you're looking for was moved or never existed.

Make sure you typed the correct URL or followed a valid link.

Logo_25wht.gif

We recommend you load this site using Firefox.

 

 

All the money from this page is donated to charity. Click here if you wish to change this page.

404_03.gif


OFT debt collection guidance

 

Please remember the only stupid question is the one you dont ask so dont worry about asking the stupid questions.

 

Essex girl in pc world looking 4 curtains 4 her pc,the assistant says u dont need curtains 4 a computer!!Essex girl says,''HELLOOO!! i,ve got WINDOWS!!'.

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Could be the RonnieB virus:eek:


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Works ok in firefox for me...


"To love unconditionally is the greatest gift, laughter is a close second" .To give your time to help others after being helped here is the best way to show your appreciation to your fellow CAG members.

 

Please note that this advice is given informally, without liability and without prejudice. Seek the advice of an insured qualified professional if you have any doubts. All my knowledge has been gained here, for which I'm very grateful. I'm a Journalist, not a law professional.

 

If you do PM, make sure to include a link to your thread as I don't give out advice in private ;)

BB 13 - DCAs/banks and solicitors 0.

 

I get a fresh start to get on with learning to live with severe disabilities when they could have had something if they'd been understanding...

 

<--- If you feel I've helped, please twinkle my star :)

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Hmm that is intresting GM, i know one of the drives on the shared server is getting a bit full, so wonder if they are moveing some stuff around to a new one to reduce the load, that would account for a 404 error.

 

Looks like your post got through though


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Just wanted to celebrate my 100th Post

hopefully 200 won't take as long lol

 

normal_Happy100.jpg

 

Heres a family portrait.


Just remember to keep smiling and ask if you need help. :-)

 

I can't read and I can't write, but that don't really matter, cos I come from Lincolnshire, and I can drive a tractor.

CCA sent to robinson way Halifax cc. 22/02/07~Sold on to Aktiv Kapital~How can you take them seriously when they can't spell properly

Data Protection Act sent to HBOS Current Account 22/02/07~All quiet

Over 2 yaers I've been a member~Doesn`t time fly when your having fun~or beating DCA's at their own game

 

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LOL daarab nice erm i take it that portrait is not kept in the hallway


OFT debt collection guidance

 

Please remember the only stupid question is the one you dont ask so dont worry about asking the stupid questions.

 

Essex girl in pc world looking 4 curtains 4 her pc,the assistant says u dont need curtains 4 a computer!!Essex girl says,''HELLOOO!! i,ve got WINDOWS!!'.

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I Just wish my Mrs had the body of Lois. lol


Just remember to keep smiling and ask if you need help. :-)

 

I can't read and I can't write, but that don't really matter, cos I come from Lincolnshire, and I can drive a tractor.

CCA sent to robinson way Halifax cc. 22/02/07~Sold on to Aktiv Kapital~How can you take them seriously when they can't spell properly

Data Protection Act sent to HBOS Current Account 22/02/07~All quiet

Over 2 yaers I've been a member~Doesn`t time fly when your having fun~or beating DCA's at their own game

 

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works fine for me with firefox, ive managed to register and post no problems

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There have been more posts on the truthful Crudit Site than on Rons Fan Club site


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Dont think this was a DCA but was brilliant and well worth using if you are in the same position. As you may have gathered by my user name I am female

Phone rings

Me Hello ( gives phone no)

Bloke Can I speak to the head of the houseold please

Me - sorry head of the household is busy

Bloke When will HE be available please

Me Dunno he's sitting in front of the fire washing his a*se at the mo could be a long session.

two minutes silence

Bloke er did you understand what I asked you

Me yeah you want the head of the household - thats the cat and and as I said he is sitting ........

Bloke er is there a man I can speak to

Me do you have a calender handy

Bloke yes

Me can you look at date and read out the year - yes mate is says 2009 and not ******* 1809 you ignorant ******

I then slam down the phone

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Dont think this was a DCA but was brilliant and well worth using if you are in the same position. As you may have gathered by my user name I am female

Phone rings

Me Hello ( gives phone no)

Bloke Can I speak to the head of the houseold please

Me - sorry head of the household is busy

Bloke When will HE be available please

Me Dunno he's sitting in front of the fire washing his a*se at the mo could be a long session.

two minutes silence

Bloke er did you understand what I asked you

Me yeah you want the head of the household - thats the cat and and as I said he is sitting ........

Bloke er is there a man I can speak to

Me do you have a calender handy

Bloke yes

Me can you look at date and read out the year - yes mate is says 2009 and not ******* 1809 you ignorant ******

I then slam down the phone

 

Nice one Madamfluff. What kind of madam are you and do you live on the South Coast?!!!!

 

Regards.

 

Fred


Before you criticise another man you should first walk a mile in his shoes. Then, when you criticise him, you'll be a mile away and he won't have any shoes on.

 

Don't get me confused with somebody knowledgeable by all those green blobs. I got most of them by making people laugh.

 

I am not European, I am English.

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Dont think this was a DCA but was brilliant and well worth using if you are in the same position. As you may have gathered by my user name I am female

Phone rings

Me Hello ( gives phone no)

Bloke Can I speak to the head of the houseold please

Me - sorry head of the household is busy

Bloke When will HE be available please

Me Dunno he's sitting in front of the fire washing his a*se at the mo could be a long session.

two minutes silence

Bloke er did you understand what I asked you

Me yeah you want the head of the household - thats the cat and and as I said he is sitting ........

Bloke er is there a man I can speak to

Me do you have a calender handy

Bloke yes

Me can you look at date and read out the year - yes mate is says 2009 and not ******* 1809 you ignorant ******

I then slam down the phone

 

:lol::lol:


:)I am not an expert, but I can give good advice about Brighthouse:)

 

Am learning more and more about DCA's too :)

 

I have no legal experience and all advice given is based on the knowledge I've gained from this site.

 

<------If you think I have been helpful, please feel free to tip my scales - remember to put your CAG name though!

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:eek::eek: Shame on you Fred :p Edited by clemma

:)I am not an expert, but I can give good advice about Brighthouse:)

 

Am learning more and more about DCA's too :)

 

I have no legal experience and all advice given is based on the knowledge I've gained from this site.

 

<------If you think I have been helpful, please feel free to tip my scales - remember to put your CAG name though!

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I have had two lovely calls tonight from Barmy, Orrible and Stupid. The first where the poor wee lad got flummoxed when I said I wouldn't go through security (where does he think he works~the airport?) and told me to refer to my signed contract (would love to pet, have been asking for one for over 6 months), and the second where the lass didn't even go through the security questions.


Beating the DCA's day by day

 

My fight:

NDR - CCA'd 12+2 passed

Bank of Scotland - CCA'd 12+2 passed

CFS - Win by Technical Knock-out!:lol:

HFC Bank - CCA'd 12+2 passed

Chantry Collections - CCA sent

 

Time flies like an arrow

Fruit flies like a banana :D

 

<---------- Have I given you top advice, have I made you laugh, click on the scales, it won't hurt you! :grin:

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style="text-align:center;"> Please note that this topic has not had any new posts for the last 3444 days.

If you are trying to post a different story then you should start your own new thread. Posting on this thread is likely to mean that you won't get the help and advice that you need.

If you are trying to post information which is relevant to the story in this thread then please flag it up to the site team and they will allow you to post.

Thank you
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