Cheekiness towards a DCA

[Laura Cooke]

My friend always remarked jokingly that the Royals are as much on the make as the rest of the corrupted establishment she said the Queen as 2 surnames Regina & Windsor, 2 birthdays, several homes so she must be on the fiddle lol

 

Her best comment was "What`s that all about the Queen Mother having 3 hip operations and she only has 2 legs"

 

or the other comment off the TV "Doesn`t the Queen Mother look great for 102" my friend said "Well she would wouldn`t she she`s never scrubbed floors or been dragged out of bed at 6 in the morning to be put on a commode by a YTS worker"

 

my friend said "Well Clamidia cleaned up well for her pronuptials always wondered what happened to sheregar"

 

good job we can have a laugh or we`d end up stark raving mad

 

On Edward "Danny La Rue will never be dead whislt Edward`s alive

[fuzzybobble]

Prince Harry always makes me laugh. Especially the pics of him dressed as a Nazi. £100,000 spent on his education and he gets 2 A levels. One in Art and one in History. Both grade C.

[The GodMother]

And the art one its claimed that he did not do the work the teacher did. Her silence has also alledgely been brought aswell.

[fuzzybobble]

If I was paying for an at teacher to do my exam work for me. I would want more than a grade C.

 

I got an A in art at school.

My best boast is that a friend of mine who is doing media at uni showed some of my videos to his tutor, who couldn't believe I had no formal training in video editing and I had taught myself only a few weeks before. But then I do pick things up quickly and love learning new things that interest me.

[The GodMother]

I would also want more than a c grade.

[fuzzybobble]

Just out of curiosity Laura are you from Stoke on Trent or somewhere around North Staffordshire?

[Laura Cooke]

No but not a million miles away from there and my Grandfather originates from Cannock

[fuzzybobble]

No but not a million miles away from there and my Grandfather originates from Cannock

 

I could sell my services to DCA tracing departments lol.

 

What gave it away is North Staffordshire people sometimes write "as" instead of "Has". Mainly because the accent around there they drop the "H" A few of my friends on Facebook do it, but they are all from North Staffordshire.

 

But then I am too.

 

Did you know that Market Drayton is the home of Gingerbread? They have a pub there called "The Gingerbread Man" This summer I'm going camping near there and fully intend to have a drink there wearing my costume.

[F_DCAs]

Will the gingerbread man be dancing, though?

[fuzzybobble]

You'll get to see the real me dancing in my next video. I'm 20% finished so far, but it is a music video and it takes ages to get everything timed to the music and lyrics.

[vengeancedemon]

look forward to that !

[rev.ian]

I found this on the net and thought it would be good to send to all our favourite DCAs

Customer Happiness Training Courses

Brought to you by [YOUR NAME]

Don’t delay, return this form today!

 

Today’s Date: / /

 

This is an agreement between …………………………. Hereinafter referred to as ‘The Customer’ and …………………….. Hereinafter referred to as ‘The Trainer’.

 

Training will commence every Monday morning at 6am sharp. The Customer agrees to pay The Trainer £100.00 per session for each member of staff, hereinafter referred to as ‘a Trainee’ that attends. The customer agrees to send a minimum of 6 members of staff per course.

 

Customer Happiness Training courses are aimed at improving customer experiences when your customers come into contact with your staff. Here at the Customer Happiness Training centre, we pride ourselves on training your staff in being nice to customers and more importantly, being genuinely helpful in a way that benefits your customers.

 

Very often, company staff who work in the financial industry find themselves under pressure from their employers to pursue their customers for as much money as they can get out of them, whether that be selling them something they don’t want or need, or just chasing them for all those late payment and over limit charges.

 

Here at Customer Happiness Training, we appreciate that it can be difficult for your staff to persuade a customer on the telephone that it is more important to pay hundreds of pounds in charges to a financial corporation who they are already bailing out with their taxes in order to support multi million pound pensions for directors, rather than feed and clothe their children.

In these situations, your staff may find themselves facing often angry or upset customers from time to time and Customer Happiness Training can greatly improve your staff’s relationship with these customers. Our techniques will show them how to be truly helpful and keep such customers happy.

 

On some occasions, where a trainee has used our training methods to help their customers in a way that may not be in accordance with The Customer’s company policy. The Customer agrees that The Trainer bares no responsibility for any such conflicts, as it is unreasonable to expect The Trainer to be aware of all company policies whether stated or implied.

 

Training sessions last 30 minutes, with a 10 minute tea break at the end.

 

In the event of a Trainee arriving late, the training session will be delayed. Charging is structured in blocks of 5 minutes. The Customer agrees to pay £10.00 per Trainee for each 5 minutes the training course runs over time due to delays.

 

I Agree to the terms as set our above

Signed

 

……………………………………. Date: / /

[loopinlouie]

fuzzybobble. I know market drayton. Used to work in a pub there years ago and the landlord kept pinching my bum.

[The GodMother]

lol i like that Rev.

[sillygirl1]

Happened to get a phone call from a Virginmedia monkey wanting me to pay up. Call went like this

 

VM - is Sillygilrl1 there

Me - Why

VM - You need to pay us some money

Me - Read your screen notes, I get paid tomorrow

VM - Why cant we be paid today - you owe the money

Me - Read your screen notes, goodbye.

 

I am now composing a shirty email to VM about this as I sorted out everything last week... seems they suffer from the left hand computer not telling the right hand computer to STOP.

 

Its already cost Sky about £300 allegedly outstanding which wasnt as they didnt stop ALL my account when I moved, only stopped multiroom and not the whole thing!

[kurvaface]

I would never ever deal with virgin media because they deal with Credit .Solutions, infact the VM call center is staffed by Cretin's olutions monkeys

[F_DCAs]

I would never ever deal with Virgin Media because they're s...e.

 

Five phone calls it took me just to cancel the thing (pre-CAG days), because of their worse than useless broadband connection.

 

The amount of junk mail I get from them persuading me to go back is unreal. At least they learned quickly not to phone, after they were told in no uncertain terms what they could do with their retention deal.

[The GodMother]

Thats funny as l have had more problems with every company but VM.

 

My connection date got cancelled by them they compensateted me. Then rearranged it for the following week. Was suspose to be on a deal were l get all the packages. they accidently put the BB seperate so when the tv and phone got canelled we kept the bb. turns out were paying less now for the bb than we would have been in on the package.

[rev.ian]

Not often I come on here to support a company but speak as you find.

Been with VM 5 years now and they have been great.

Wish I could say the same about British Gas.

No gas at my home but they send me an estimated bill from time to time (last one was for £93.00), when I don’t pay they send reminder, letter before action ect., ignore my letters and in the end I have to phone them and pay for the call. The last excuse I got was “the computer estimates on an average of gas used in previous quarters.” She didn’t know how the computer worked out an average of zero as £93.00.

[The GodMother]

Excalty rev. Ive been with VM for 3 nearly 4 years and had not one problem, well a lie but that wa not really there fault that was vandalism, was with BT previously and they was trying to charge us a extorniate amount for being with them. they wanted £55 a month for just the BB then on top of that the phone line and calls came to £120 a month. F off they were told.

 

Sky was awful. I refused to pay the bill due to not having a adequate service.

Tiscalli are a bunch of ripoffs had a DD with them they never told us when it was comming out and never took it on the same day each month. I could have just paid one months when they would try and take another. Refused to pay as they would always put us over drawn. i consider the matter closed.

 

the only major problem i had with VM is when they stopped sending us bills and were would need to ring them up we could spend up to an hour on hold the be cut off due to waiting to long. They eventually admitted they had not sent bills and said we will refund your charges and re connect you if you dont complain.

 

Since then we had a bills but have now changed over to internet billing to save us £5 a month and pay by standing order every 28 days.

[ravenbluemoon]

Has anyone wished their friendly Customer Service weasels a Happy Valentine's Day? I'm waiting for our usual suspect to call, but they're late... I feel snubbed! :grin:

[DT&FE]

letter received from DCA stating "opportunity to save 20%, blah blah blah pay this amount" on a disputed account.

 

I wrote back stating "Opportunity to save 100% EMBARASSMENT" provide a credit agreement!!

[Laura Cooke]

letter received from DCA stating "opportunity to save 20%, blah blah blah pay this amount" on a disputed account.

 

I wrote back stating "Opportunity to save 100% EMBARASSMENT" provide a credit agreement!!

 

 

Love that

 

Had chance to say something like that at my local Court last week filed a N1 the clerk was so snotty and told me she couldn`t accept the form as I didn`t state the value of the claim she wasn`t having any of it she sarcastically smiled at me and said "I think you need a solicitor" went back next day armed with evidence off their own HMCS web site stating that what I had said was correct and that you don`t need to state a value. Sadly snotty wasn`t on and the girl that was was full of apologies and requested to photocopy my proof at to what I had said the day before was correct she said the staff needed to check their facts more. I asked her to tell snotty that whilst I don`t in fact need a solicitor that she does in fact need some retraining !!!!

Edited February 15, 2010 by Laura Cooke

[ravenbluemoon]

Excellent work!

 

I'm trying to see if I can break the record of keeping a Collection Weasel on the line for more than my current record - 11 minutes! I'm struggling to keep them on more than five minutes before they get bored and hang up (the cheek of it!). I think the trick is to lead them on by telling them every couple of minutes that you're still trying to find them (or whatever suits).

 

Nearly the shortest call ever this afternoon:

 

Cap1: Hi can I speak to Mrs X?

Raven: Who is it?

Cap1: It's a Capital One weasel.

Raven (in camp voice): Oh Capital One, I am disappointed!

Cap1: Sorry?

Raven: Well you never called me on Valentine's Day, I really missed you and your soothing tones....

[ErikaPNP]

letter received from DCA stating "opportunity to save 20%, blah blah blah pay this amount" on a disputed account.

 

I wrote back stating "Opportunity to save 100% EMBARASSMENT" provide a credit agreement!!

 

Love it!!

 

I can see that idea being copied.....nice one!