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Personal T&Cs

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Constant hassle from banks, TV licensing and others have forced my hand. I now enclose my own personal terms and conditions with every correspondence. Complete gibberish and completely unenforceable but make make them think twice before harassing me in future :D Feel free to plagarise at will!


This forum is packed with examples of private companies and public bodies enforcing goobledygook T&Cs, so thought I might as well have a crack myself.



Terms and Conditions




  • References to 'you', 'your' and 'yours' are references to the person(s), organisation(s), or public body/bodies insisting on correspondence, based on misinformation, which results in costs to BigNick.
  • References to 'I, 'myself,' ‘my’ and 'one' are references to BigNick
  • Any monetary values are in pounds sterling, and will be updated without notice, at any time based on exchange rate/inflation alterations and/or to reflect any increase in costs for myself.
  • If correspondence has been initiated by BigNick these terms and conditions are voided.


  1. By insisting on further correspondence based on misinformation, when you have already been informed of said misinformation and made aware of these terms you accept, in full, the content of these terms and conditions.
  2. You have already been informed that your correspondence is unsolicited and/or based on misinformation by my primary correspondence.
  3. As a gesture of goodwill I will personally absorb the costs of initial correspondence with you, at which point my position would have been made clear and any misinformation you possess corrected.
  4. I require compensation for any further correspondence as follows:

Written correspondence: £2.50

This covers the costs to me of stationary, time taken to write letters and postal costs.

Outbound telephone correspondence:

The cost of calling any phone line you provide, plus 10p/min.

Inbound telephone correspondence:

Your standard network charge

  1. Any costs incurred by you represent the full cost to me, and are in no way an attempt to extort monies from you, or procure profit. Proof of these costs may be obtained at any time, for the cost of your chosen method of correspondence outlined in section 4.
  2. If a complaint is made for harassment, you have been informed in any initial correspondence that your continued correspondence will be considered such. Harassment complaints may result in either:

    1. Civil action against you;
    2. Criminal action against you
    3. Governing law


      The Terms are governed by and interpreted in accordance with the laws of England and Wales and the courts of the above jurisdiction will have non-exclusive jurisdiction in respect of any dispute, which may arise.

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