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I am alsmost suicidal with worry... re debt agencies..


BABYHOLLIE
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(((BabyHollie)))

 

I too was in the same situation as you before I found CAG. I'm so glad you found this site as it will change your life for the better, I promise you :)

 

You have all the support in the world on here from genuine caring people who have gone through this kind of stuff themselves.

 

There IS a light at the end of the tunnel; its important to take small steps towards it but not try to rush, as it takes time to sort these things out but they CAN all be sorted out.

 

I'm subscribing to your thread to offer you all the support I can muster. You've had such great advice so far from the others but I just wanted you to know that someone else understands and cares how you feel.

 

Love Spiritgirl x

Please note I am not legally qualified, I am offering advice based on my own personal experience in the hope that it may be of help to others in a similar situation.

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Oh my goodness I cannot beleive how nice and helpful you guys.girls are on here.. so sorry I ahve not been into contact with anybody but my daughter (the one with diabetes and bulleamis) has been in hopsital again. This is why I got into debt in the first instance.. she just will not do her insulin and binges and makes herself sick and the doctirs say it is very very dangerous and life threatening as her blood suagars are always over 35 or unreadable.. anyway enough of that. But herbeing like this made me depressed alson with many other issues regarding bad builders in the house etc..

Anyway I now have all my correct details at hand.

1. ARGOS CARD SERVICES

BALANCE: £982.52

PAYING £70 PER MONTH

BEING DEALT WITHMOORCROFT DEBT RECOVERY

2. LAURA ASHLEY

BALANCE £367.93- THIS HAS A CCJ AND APPRANTLY I HAVE NOT BEEN KEEPING UP WITH HENCE THE DEBT COLLECTER CAME AND MY MUM HAS PAID HIM £122 AND HE HAS SAID RING THEM BACK UP AND WILL GET IT REDUCED TO JUST £10 PER MONTH AS I HAVE A MOTHERCARE ACCOUNT TOO WITH THEM AND THAT IS WHAT THEY SAY. I RANG THEM THIS MORNING.

3. HALIFAX VISA CARD

BALANCE £1944.15

STILL WITH THE HALIFAX AND AM PAYING £56.48 PER MONTH

4. LITTLE WOODS- STILL WITH THEM AND I AM PAYING THEM £100 AMONTH AND OWE A MIN PAYMENT OF £300 I HAVE SPOKE TO THEM A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGAO AND HAVE SAID £100 IS THE MIN I CAN PAY THEM.

5. MARKS AND SPENCER FINACIAL SERVICES RE THEIR CHARGE CARD

BALANCE £740.00

THIS IS WITH MOORCROFTS AND THEY HAVE SAID I HAVE TO PAY A MIN OF £120 PER MONTH?

6. NEXT DIRECTORT Y

BALANCE £ 1050.41

THIS SI WITH IQOR DEBT RECOVERY AND PAYING THEM AT THE MOMENT £50 PER MONTH

7. BANK OVERDRAFT WITH TEH HALIFAX

BALANCE £555

HAVE ARRNAGED TO PAY THEM £100 A MONTH AND HAVE STOOK TO THIS AMOUNT IT IS STILL WITH THEM ALSO.

8. MORTGAGE WITH EVERSHEDS MY NORMAL AMOUNT IS £797 AND HAVE TO PAY AN EXTRA £150 PER MONTH HENCE £950 PAYING OUT

9. CAR LOAN ALL UP TO DATE AND HAVE TO PAY £233 PER MONTH AND HAVE THIS ON DIRECT DEBIT WITH THEM THIS IS WITH BLACK HORSE FINACE

10. CIT CARDS VISA CARD

BALANCE £780

THIS IS WITH CABOT FINACE AND I HAVE BEEN PAYING£10 PER MONTHS

11. LOAN WITH HALIFAX THIS IS WITH EVERSHEDS AND THEY HAVE JUST SENT ME AN INCOME AND EXPENDITURE TO FILL IN AND RETURN TO THEM TO SEE HOW MUCH I CAN AFFORD TO PAY BACK TO THEM. I OWE THEM ABOUT £8000 OFF MY HEAD MAYBE A LITLE LESS

12. IKEA BALANCE

BALANCE £650

THE ACCOUNT IS WITH COURTLINK DEBT COLLECTERS

I AM PAYING THEM £75 A MONTH

13. MOTHERCARE ACOUNT

BALANCE £1786

P[AYING £10 PER MONTH

THIS IS WITH HOWARD COWEN AND THERE IS A CCJ ON THIS ACCOUNT TOO

GOSH I AM IN ALOT OF DEBT AREN'T I????

I HAVE KEPT UP PAYING EVERYTHING FOR THE LAST 4 MONTHS OTHER THAN THE LAURA ASHLEY ONE WHERE I PAID £122 TO THE DEBT COLLECTER AND TODAY HAVE SPOKEN TO HOWARD SOHEN AND THEY ARE GOING TO REDUCE THE MONTHLY AMOUNT I HAVE TO PAY THEM DOWN TO £10

All my gas, electric, poll tax, cart loan and the mortgage is up to date.

I am not using my car as not taxed and my direct bounced last week for the insurance. I do really need the car as finding it so hard getting around.

I work 2 days at the momnet childminding and only earn about £80 per week. I used to earn £500/600 per week before all opf this but had to give up work as my daughter has been so so ill in and out of hospital for the past year!

Okay my INCOME is as follows

Child maintenance £539

tax credits £1110

DLA £264

CARERS ALLOWNACE £180

EARNED INCOME ££346

FAMILY ALLOWANCE £164

THINKS THAT IS IT

I ALSO PAY CHILDCARE BUT IT IS THE AFTER SCHOOL CLUB £40 PER WEEK AND THAT IS INCLUDED IN THE AMOUNT OF TAX CREDITS I GET.

WHAT SHOULD I DO SEND THEM ALL ALETTER OTHER THAN THE ONES I AM JUST PAYING £10 A MONTH??

THANKS PEOPLE VERY VERY MUCH APPRECIATED INDEED AND FEEL PART OF 'A FAMILY'

 

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Hi Babyhollie.

 

I would suggest you do an income and expenditure sheet as you seem to be making quite high payments to your unsecured debts eg credit cards. You should only pay what you can afford AFTER your mortgage, utility bills and essentials such as food.

 

For credit cards and loans manged by a DCA eg Moorcroft, that haven't got a CCJ attached i would send a CCA - Consumer Crdit Agreement request. This will confirm the company has a legal entitlement to collect a debt from you.

 

Have you had charges applied to any of these accounts? If yes, it could be worth reclaiming them.

 

There's lots of info here, take it one step at a time and post your questions as they come. I will look for some links for you for templates ;)

I'm midway through the tunnel, but getting closer to the light.

 

 

 

Please be aware that i am not an expert in anything!

I may offer an opinion, but the final decision is yours.

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Hi BabyHollie, good to note you're sounding much more positive! :)

Moorcroft and the other DCAs have been taking advantage of you, by the look of things. Gits. :mad:

You must sort out your budget now.

National Debtline's online forms will help a lot. This is the England/Wales link:

National Debtline England & Wales | Personal Budget Sheet

As everyone's saying, you have priority debts (like mortgage, utilities etc), then you need to live - so all your housekeeping etc. Once you've gone through a budget you'll see things much more clearly.

Keep up the good work - you're under huge stress but you really can get control of this side of your life, with lots of help on offer as well! :) xx

We will not be intimidated.

'The pen is mightier than the sword'.

Petition to Outlaw Debt Sale and Purchase

- can't read/post much as eye strain's v.bad.

VIVA CAG!!! :)

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This is link for a Subject Access Request - in case you need to see your statements to reclaim charges:

 

http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/bank-templates-library/516-1-data-protection-act.html

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I'm midway through the tunnel, but getting closer to the light.

 

 

 

Please be aware that i am not an expert in anything!

I may offer an opinion, but the final decision is yours.

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Letter N is the template to ensure the Debt Collecting Agencies have a legal right to collect on these debts:

 

http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/general-debt/20758-creditors-dcas-letter-templates.html

 

Read as many threads as you can. It helps you to understand what you are entitled to and to get an idea of the sorts of responses you may receive.

I'm midway through the tunnel, but getting closer to the light.

 

 

 

Please be aware that i am not an expert in anything!

I may offer an opinion, but the final decision is yours.

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Good luck with everything BabyHollie. The most important thing is your daughter, and your health, - that puts everything else into perspective. I suggest maybe you go to see your local Citizens Advice Bureau, as they are trained to help with Income/Expenditure forms etc, or contact an organisation like PayPlan who will offer free advice, and then take over the negotiations with your creditors etc. In my own experience, I found that most of my creditors were fine dealing with PayPlan, because they saw that I was genuinely trying to do something to help my debt situation, and the Income/Expenditure forms really show them that you have no further money and at least they are getting something back. Just make sure you keep up the mortgage so you and your family have a roof over your heads. Take care.

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I would suggest you do an income and expenditure sheet as you seem to be making quite high payments to your unsecured debts eg credit cards. You should only pay what you can afford AFTER your mortgage, utility bills and essentials such as food.

 

 

Hiya BabyHollie

 

You have had some terrific advice on here so far, and hopefully you will feel much much better now. I just wanted to endorse what Hopeful1 has said. It does seem that you are making very large payments against your unsecured debts.

 

Your living essentials come first. Once an Income & Expenditure form is drawn up with the help of the Citizens Advice Bureau or National Debtline, then you will see that there is a "remainder" left after all your essentials are covered, and that remainder gets split between all your unsecured creditors. This means you will have enough to live on without having to struggle due to paying such high debt repayments.

 

Its surprising what is included in your essential expenses too, things which its easy to forget about such as travel, school dinner money, TV licence, etc., little things which make a BIG difference when worked out. This is where the CAB or National Debtline can help as their forms cover every expense needed for every day living.

 

As Rosie has said, you and your daughter's health is most important and its very important the pressure is taken off you about finances.

 

Let us know how you get on, and if you need anything you only have to ask OK?

 

(((hugs))) :)

Love SG x

Please note I am not legally qualified, I am offering advice based on my own personal experience in the hope that it may be of help to others in a similar situation.

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Just make sure to tell them all that you cannot afford to pay due to your circumstances and ask them if they will write off your debts but make to agree not to pay more than £1.00 per month when you send them you budget sheet and leave yourself enough to live on.

 

When these DCA's get your income and outgoings expenditures they will see that you cannot afford to pay them and hopefully they will write off your debts, and hope they will see that they cannot get blood from a stone but they will keep trying no doubt so be strong for your family.;)

 

Good Luck :-|

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Hi there thanks again for everything... by the way if i type funny I am dyslexic and type too qick for my brian. I am going to do an income and expenditure and think I can cope myself or am I best using the site the payplan. I do have degee belive it or not lol.

I have downloaded the online debt spreadsheet for income and expenditure.. Can I just ask sombody some where said they do not count DlA is this correct do you know.

I also do have charges with all of these accounts can I claim these back perhaps or not? I could perhaps go down the lines where I am with the Abbey as regards their charges under the a hardship caseas honestly although I look to have money coming in on paper I have not got as keep getting charges all the time due to poor cash flow.

Thanks

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1. ARGOS CARD SERVICES

BALANCE: £982.52

PAYING £70 PER MONTH

BEING DEALT WITHMOORCROFT DEBT RECOVERY

 

CCA to Moorcroft by rec. delivery, enclosing a Postal Order for £1. Do not sign the CCA request... just print a "signature" Even if they have an Agreement (which I doubt) £70 a month is way to high on your income.

 

 

2. LAURA ASHLEY

BALANCE £367.93- THIS HAS A CCJ AND APPRANTLY I HAVE NOT BEEN KEEPING UP WITH HENCE THE DEBT COLLECTER CAME AND MY MUM HAS PAID HIM £122 AND HE HAS SAID RING THEM BACK UP AND WILL GET IT REDUCED TO JUST £10 PER MONTH Sounds like bowlarks to me... You need to get a form N245 to submit to the court in order to get these payments reduced to an affordable level. Don't rely on this muppet to do it for you,'coz he won't.

http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/c.../n245_0204.pdf

AS I HAVE A MOTHERCARE ACCOUNT TOO WITH THEM AND THAT IS WHAT THEY SAY. I RANG THEM THIS MORNING. If the Mothercare account has no CCJ, then CCA this one, but PLEASE do not have any more dealings with these people over the 'phone. They will say anything in order to get money from you and are not to be trusted.

 

 

3. HALIFAX VISA CARD

BALANCE £1944.15

STILL WITH THE HALIFAX AND AM PAYING £56.48 PER MONTH

As this is still with Halifax, leave this one for now and focus on the ones with debt collectors. Having said that, you could write to them stating that you can no longer afford to maintain the present monthly payments and will have to reduce these down to.... somewhere between £1 - £10.... due to being in receipt of Benefit income. Do you know if they've frozen all interest/charges on this account ? You can send a S.A.R - (Subject Access Request)/CCA at a later date.... but focus on the accounts with DCAs first.

 

 

4. LITTLE WOODS- STILL WITH THEM AND I AM PAYING THEM £100 AMONTH AND OWE A MIN PAYMENT OF £300 I HAVE SPOKE TO THEM A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGAO AND HAVE SAID £100 IS THE MIN I CAN PAY THEM.

 

More bowlarks... sorry ! The minimum amount is all that you can genuinely afford to pay... not what they tell you needs to be paid. Once again, no more dealings over the 'phone.... write and offer between £1 - £10 per month. If they 'phone you, then hang up.

 

You can send a S.A.R - (Subject Access Request) to re-claim charges at a later date, once the DCAs have been sorted out. You are also within your rights to send CCAs to both of the above instead, but since they are still with the original creditors, I've left this option for now. Don't worry about them though. :)

 

 

5. MARKS AND SPENCER FINACIAL SERVICES RE THEIR CHARGE CARD

BALANCE £740.00

THIS IS WITH MOORCROFTS AND THEY HAVE SAID I HAVE TO PAY A MIN OF £120 PER MONTH?

 

Bowlarks :rolleyes: .... CCA Moorcroft, rec. delivery as above.

 

 

6. NEXT DIRECTORT Y

BALANCE £ 1050.41

THIS SI WITH IQOR DEBT RECOVERY AND PAYING THEM AT THE MOMENT £50 PER MONTH

 

CCA them as above...

 

 

7. BANK OVERDRAFT WITH TEH HALIFAX

BALANCE £555

HAVE ARRNAGED TO PAY THEM £100 A MONTH AND HAVE STOOK TO THIS AMOUNT IT IS STILL WITH THEM ALSO.

 

You can write to have this reduced as well. CCAs are a bit iffy where overdrafts are concerned, but it does no harm to send one because there is a credit facility involved.... May be interesting to see how they respond.

 

 

8. MORTGAGE WITH EVERSHEDS MY NORMAL AMOUNT IS £797 AND HAVE TO PAY AN EXTRA £150 PER MONTH HENCE £950 PAYING OUT

 

Keep to this one.... it's a priority debt.

 

 

9. CAR LOAN ALL UP TO DATE AND HAVE TO PAY £233 PER MONTH AND HAVE THIS ON DIRECT DEBIT WITH THEM THIS IS WITH BLACK HORSE FINACE

 

Keep to this one as well....

 

 

10. CIT CARDS VISA CARD

BALANCE £780

THIS IS WITH CABOT FINACE AND I HAVE BEEN PAYING£10 PER MONTHS

 

CCA Cabot, rec. delivery, as above....

 

 

11. LOAN WITH HALIFAX THIS IS WITH EVERSHEDS AND THEY HAVE JUST SENT ME AN INCOME AND EXPENDITURE TO FILL IN AND RETURN TO THEM TO SEE HOW MUCH I CAN AFFORD TO PAY BACK TO THEM. I OWE THEM ABOUT £8000 OFF MY HEAD MAYBE A LITLE LESS

 

Don't bother with the income/expenditure form.... CCA them instead, by rec. delivery, as above.

 

 

12. IKEA BALANCE

BALANCE £650

THE ACCOUNT IS WITH COURTLINK DEBT COLLECTERS

I AM PAYING THEM £75 A MONTH

 

CCA them, by rec. delivery, as above.

 

 

13. MOTHERCARE ACOUNT

BALANCE £1786

P[AYING £10 PER MONTH

THIS IS WITH HOWARD COWEN AND THERE IS A CCJ ON THIS ACCOUNT TOO

 

Keep to this one then....

 

 

GOSH I AM IN ALOT OF DEBT AREN'T I????

 

I HAVE KEPT UP PAYING EVERYTHING FOR THE LAST 4 MONTHS OTHER THAN THE LAURA ASHLEY ONE WHERE I PAID £122 TO THE DEBT COLLECTER AND TODAY HAVE SPOKEN TO HOWARD SOHEN AND THEY ARE GOING TO REDUCE THE MONTHLY AMOUNT I HAVE TO PAY THEM DOWN TO £10

 

Are you sure this is on a CCJ ?... or have Howard Cohen just said it is. Do not have any more dealings with anyone over the 'phone any more. Leave this one for now.... You'll need to ask for evidence of the CCJ, but you have enough on your plate for now and it's a small amount compared with the rest.

 

 

All my gas, electric, poll tax, cart loan and the mortgage is up to date. That's great.... please keep it that way. :)

 

 

 

:)

 

Sorry for bamboozling you with info. Hollie.... it's a lot to take in, I know. Treat each account as a separate CCA request.... meaning that even though you have several with Moorcroft, for example, they need a separate CCA request for each account, in separate envelopes and each by rec. delivery with a £1 Postal Order.

 

If you need any more help at this stage, just shout.

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One again excellent advicce from priority one.

 

All those CCA's should keep you busy for a while! The most important thing is that you will be taking control of the situation which will make you feel so much better. Once you are familiar with the procedure and confident in what you are doing, the DCA's wont scare you any more.

 

Take care and keep us posted. x

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Hi there,

 

Just subscribing.

 

It probably won`t make you feel any better, but when was the Argos Card taken out?

 

Mine was taken out around 4 years ago and I have been paying over £115 a month, but only this year the account was sent to Morecrap also, for collection.

 

I CCA`d them a number of months ago and only this week they replied saying they are unable to provide a Credit Agreement and have returned the account back to Argos, therefore I`m not paying anything.

 

I think the best comfort I get is knowing there are a lot more people in a worse position then me and they seem to help each other through things.

 

Regards

 

 

N.P.

If I have helped or made you laugh in any way in your hour of need, then please click my scales <<<<<<<<<< ;)

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http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/general-debt/36790-bank-taking-your-benefits.html

 

Hi Ya.

 

Have a look at this:

http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/general-debt/36790-bank-taking-your-benefits.html

 

They should not be taking your benefits in charges. You're right to look at the hardship route too.

 

As for the budget sheet, if you're happy to tackle it on your own - go for it!! If you find you are struggling you know where you can go for help.

 

:) You sound so much more positive as you are now starting to consider your game plan - that means you are taking control. I'm really pleased.

 

Don't worry about typos - we all do it. In my case just cause i'm daft :D

 

I really must go to work now! I'll be back this evening.

I'm midway through the tunnel, but getting closer to the light.

 

 

 

Please be aware that i am not an expert in anything!

I may offer an opinion, but the final decision is yours.

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no apparently they cant touch the DLA, ive recently been to court with my soon to be ex husband and all other income was taken into account apart from the DLA, oh and £200 per week that they stated must be available, for myself & the kids for shpping clothes toiletries etc ;-) (still got a massive bill of £12500 to get divorced tho!!!)

i do hope you are feeling much better, and that soon your daughter is on the mend too :)

honey x

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Okay I am going to do what is told but before I send the letter just need to ask a questions. Today I get my tax credits and my mum says it is today I have to pay Moorcrofts £75 and Index £100 shall I get my car taxed and insured instead as really do need this on the raod and at the momnet it is off the road in the garage.

Thanks again you are all my starts!!!! I gfeels so so much better knowing I have you lot to help me through all this.

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Hi again BabyHollie :)

 

Great advice from PriorityOne xx

 

Just a little tip from me; try to keep each lot of correspondence relating to each different creditor in a separate little file or folder, or even just a big envelope if you can. It makes things less confusing in the long run. I had 11 of them and found out the hard way when I got stuff mixed up and had to start sorting it out! (doesn't take much to confuse me :p ).

 

Make sure you keep all your recorded delivery slips safe too, and receipts for postal orders, as you may need to refer to them later on if anyone is disputing that they ever received your CCA request (as has happened to me recently).

 

Its important not to speak to any of them on the phone too, as the others have said, because all these DCAs do is try to bully and intimidate you over the phone into paying what you can't afford. Just say you don't discuss financial matters over the phone and replace the receiver, that way they will be forced to write to you and you'll be able to keep track easier of what they are prattling on about and deal with each letter as it arrives with the help of everyone on here.

 

Most importantly I hope you are feeling much much better now. You've got the power of the CAG behind you and its a powerful friend to have!

 

Much love to you, and your daughter too.

Love SG x

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Please note I am not legally qualified, I am offering advice based on my own personal experience in the hope that it may be of help to others in a similar situation.

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Get your car taxed and insured (far more of a priority if you really need it) and get the letters suggested off.

 

They must be laughing that they are getting you to pay this much on your income.

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All help is merely my opinion only - please seek legal advice if you need to as I am only qualified in SEN law.

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Definitely get your car taxed and insured; then deal with Moorcroft and Index as PriorityOne has said above.

 

(((hugs)))

Love SG x

Please note I am not legally qualified, I am offering advice based on my own personal experience in the hope that it may be of help to others in a similar situation.

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Hello just me agan so sorry to have to ask so many questions but do not want to be a fool and need to knopw exactly what I am doing is this the CCA letter. I ahve also been looking at templates is it not worth sending letters to write off my debts??? is this ever the case. I am under, well was for depression due to my daughter being so ill. Withe her diabestes she shouts kicks etc and last week we were driving to school and she pulled laods of my hair out. She has bulleamis too and we are under a psychologist and mental nurse as well as here diabestes speacilaist. Having all this is stressing me out I know. As it stands I have bought about 3 presents for Christmas and I have three children and are single ages 16, 14 and 7.

Oh thi is the letter I have found... is this the one???????

 

1 High Street,

Newtown,

Kent

R21 4RH

 

 

June 28, 2006

 

The Loan Company

Company House,

Church Street,

Newtown,

Kent,

R1 7HG

 

Dear Sir/Madam

 

Re:− Account/Reference Number 4563210025897412

 

With reference to the above agreement, we would be grateful if you would send us a copy of this credit agreement.

 

We understand that under the Consumer Credit Act 1974 (Sections 77−79), we are entitled to receive a copy of our credit agreement on request. We enclose a payment of £1.00 which represents the fee payable under the Consumer Credit Act.

 

We understand a copy of our credit agreement should be supplied within 12 working days.

 

We understand that under the Consumer Credit Act creditors are unable to enforce an agreement if they fail to comply with a request for a copy of the agreement under these sections of the Act.

 

We look forward to hearing from you.

 

Yours faithfully

Mr A N Other

__________________

 

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That's the CCA letter - you could, of course, always apply to have your debts written off - just to prepare you, it is a long and arduous process, but it might be worthwhile doing to at least buy you some breathing space. You can't do that with the CCJ, only the ones which have not been subject to judgement and if at the end of it they won't write them off, you can always then go down the CCA route.

All help is merely my opinion only - please seek legal advice if you need to as I am only qualified in SEN law.

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Oh another quick question also do I send any payments at all to my crediters while i wait for a response or not? What is the one pound postal order for also? Do I get the postal order made payable to each indivial comany or the debt agaency.. Also am i sending the cca letters to the people who the debt is with or the people collecting the debt. Thanks

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CCA's to people collecting the debt. £1 postal order is to pay for them to provide you with a copy of your CCA. You do not need to make payment until the 12 woorking days from receipt are up if they ahve not provided you with a CCA - however, if you simply cannot afford to make payment at the moment, I personally would not make any payment (except your CCJ and priority debts).

All help is merely my opinion only - please seek legal advice if you need to as I am only qualified in SEN law.

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Hiya Nicola

 

Yes you've found the right letter xx

 

I'm so very sorry to hear of all the worries you have right now, and my heart goes out to you because I do understand what its like to feel this way.

 

I don't know what the situation is in your area but in my area there is a mental health services "Crisis Team" and when I am under extreme stress and feeling very very depressed I can contact the team direct and someone will come out and see me straight away.

 

The Crisis Team offer practical advice as well as emotional advice, and I feel it would benefit you to be able to speak to someone like this right now; tell them everything that is going on, and see if they can offer you additional support and guidance.

 

You said you have a Nurse which is good, I would be tempted to give her a ring and ask her to call for a chat first of all, let her know how you are feeling.

 

With love from SG x

Please note I am not legally qualified, I am offering advice based on my own personal experience in the hope that it may be of help to others in a similar situation.

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