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Hello This is my first post, so please bear with me. As you will have established from the title, I have been stupid recently and have taken out credit via a mail order catalogue and four payday/short term loans. I have always had a volatile relationship with money, which I think has stemmed from my chaotic upbringing (my father got himself into a lot of debt and I was sent out to work from the age of 12 and up until I was 27, I was paying him to help him out each week. The time this ended was when he died (hence it ceasing when I was in my late twenties). The above isn't my way of evading responsibility as I am old enough to know better - I just wanted to offer an overview. Just before my father passed away, I also suffered a miscarriage and thought I had experienced another shortly after he died , but I was lucky enough to give birth to my first child that year. If you are still reading this, thank you. Even writing this is making me cry and I genuinely don't feel I have properly grieved since the losses (my Dad and two babies) and believe this has probably contributed to why I spend on credit and buy things I simply can't afford. For a short time it makes me feel better. I have previously been diagnosed with depression, but thought I had overcome this. I now think I have just masked it with the borrowing! I am currently paying StepChange a monthly payment towards older debt , but have racked up mail order debt of £1750 and also owe the following: MyJar - £800 Satsuma - £1000 Wageday Advance - £150 QuickQuid - £400 I have previously borrowed from the top two and paid them off in full, but this was only possible by borrowing from one to pay the other, but it gave me more credit at the next time of applying. The first payments for these new loans are due at the end of April and I know I cannot pay them. I am losing sleep and feel poorly with worrying about what to do or say to these companies. None of them asked me if I was on a DMP, but I know it is my fault. I am working full time and have a partner, who doesn't know the extent of my debt, but he has his own issues (addiction). We have three children and I look at them and feel so crap for letting them all down. Please can anyone offer any advice? I am sorry for rambling on. X