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  1. Hi guys, havnt posted on here for a long time but i am so angry about the way i was treated in my previous job i really need some advice: background in Feb i started a temp role in a call centre. the role was until the end of june but the company took on employees who had performed well etc. Because of this i worked 6 ten hour days for over 3 months with the hope of obtaining a full time job. the company also employed young adults aged 16 and 17. Having worked with young people before, i enjoyed sitting next to them and discussing their plans for the future etc. the company also employs staff aged 18 - 65, there is only a small percentage of under 18 staff. I was called into my managers office who informed me that she was concerned that i was being inappropriate with my comments to the young adults especially girls. when i asked for a further explanation, i was informed that she overheard me asking one of them what they had for dinner the night before. My manager stated that she considered this comment asking them out on a date. I explained that i believed that it was a harmless question which i asked all colleagues when i saw them. i also explained that i had worked with and mentored young people before in my previous role and i was simply making conversation with my colleagues. my manager did not believe me, informed me that i was a "grown man and i shouldnt be talking to young girls" This comment caused me a great deal of distress and anxiety as i could not believe someone in a management position could jump to a conclusion without obtaining all the facts. i felt that my reputation had been damaged by her comments. I was frequently ostracised and forced to sit on my own for weeks as well as being ignored and subjected to bullying my team leaders. this caused me to go to the doctors as i was starting to develop symptoms of depression. several of my coworkers would still talk to me and come to me for advice with personal issues. i tried once more to speak to my manager and discuss that treatment i had recieved. I was told would have to make up the time if i wished to ave a meeting with her. during this time another male worker who is the same age as me (30) began a relationship with a 17 year old girl who was also in care. the male cowokers ex wife was also a team leader in the call centre and would frequently arrange the seating plan so he would be sat next to young girls. nothing was done and no actio was taken agianst the male coworker. The coworkers ex wife would freqently speak to me about her ex husband and how she still loves him etc i would offer advise and we became close. We would leave notes on each other desk which we found funny. i found another job and handed my notice in. on the morning of the beggining of my last shift i recieved a phone call from work to say i am not requred to come in this week as i had sexually harrased a "senior member of staff" (co workers ex wife) i was told that the note i had left her was sexual harrasment and would not be required to work and therefore loose a weeks pay. I asked to speak to the head of HR and explained the following on the phone: the senior member of staff had left similar notes for me which i found amusing. she had added me on facebook shortly after i put the first note on her desk several weeks previous the head of HR had repeatedly stated "senior member of staff" which implied that if this had happened to a tem, no action would have been taken she was aware of the grooming of a 17 year old girl in care by the ex husband of the complainant and no action was taken i had been victimised and made to feel like a sexual predator despite no evidence, complainants of investigation the head of HR raised her voice on the phone and stated "Its none of your business" which i replied she was aware of the grooming and she should have been ashamed of herself. i ended the call. I then sent and email to her outlining all of the above. 2 hours later, i received an email stating i would be paid for the rest of the week. I considered this the end of the matter but i am concerned that if i have to use this company for a reference, they will include the false allegations. I am considering 2 options at the moment: 1) do nothing unless they provide and inaccurate reference to any potential future employers. 2) sent a letter to the CEO with copies of all emails and notes explaining the situation and asking him to investigate the grooming and not to put anything detrimental on any reference. I really cant get ovet the way i was treated there, the coworker has been given a full time job and effectively a license to groom who he wants (he never goes for women his own age) i beleive they paid me for my last week without me attending as a form of hush money??? i have been made to feel like a criminal for an allegation that could have been proven false if a proper investigation was held. I do not want any form of compensation and i know an apology will never happen, i am trying to cover my ass and hopefully make life very uncomfortable for the managers and senior staff who chose to make my life hell. I am now in a better job with more money and less hours. i make more money than the seniors staff in the call centre. im really after some advice on what other would do in my situation??? sorry for the rushed post, now off to start my shift in a lovely country school where they do things properly!! regards
  2. Sexual abuse of cadets 'was covered up by officials who urged victims not to tell police' READ MORE HERE: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/07/04/sexual-abuse-cadets-covered-officials-urged-victims-not-tell/
  3. Hi A friend told me about these forums and in desperation thought I would turn to here to see if I can be advised what's best. I work alone with my boss, there is only the 2 of us. Early 2016 I was asked to push a broken down car. Next day when I got up I could hardly move with pain and have been signed off since then. I have since been diagnosed with a prolapsed disc and severe sciatica which is absolute agony so say the least. I can barely do anything and am facing surgery to try and help it. I have a personal claim going on and my boss insurer has admitted liability. I have been in receipt of personal accident sickness but as it is a fraction of what my wage is, I am now in severe financial trouble. I am about to lose my car over all of this. The past few months my employer is now saying there is nothing wrong with me and accusing me of fraud despite the proof I have with my diagnosis. He is withholding my payments I have only had since September. I was very scared of this guy, he used to make sexual advances to me and wrote a letter telling me to get my t*ts out to make sales if I have to. He told me the day after to burn the letter but something deep down told me to keep it which I did. He touched me on several occasions too. I needed the job and had financial commitments and was scared of him, it was not as easy as simply pack in as I am a single parent and depended on my wage to keep a roof over my sons head. He is making life extremely difficult for me by keeping back my payments I am due and I barely have enough to eat. The solicitor who is dealing personal claim for injury has told me there is no case against him for harrasment and that I would lose so I do not know what to do or where to turn. Can anyone please help me or advise me of what I should or can do? Many thanks
  4. Hi, Need a little guidance please. I'm posting this on behalf of my sister who works for a large government organisation. She was involved in a relationship with a senior work colleague who is employed in a different section to her and the relationship ended last year. He started bombarding her with texts about how much he loved her and that he hoped she was safe. He then started saying nasty things about her to work colleagues. It really distressed her and started to affect her work, eventually her line manager ended up having to involve her head of department. My sister is terrified of repercussions and doesn't want to be seen as a trouble maker. Her head of department, says it's sexual harassment and will deal with it that way. Is this correct as he never made any comments of a sexual nature? I thought it would have been more bullying? Just wondered if anyone could shed some light on this please. Cheers Dex
  5. Hi there. I'm actually shacking as I type this as it is hard for me to admit/talk about. On Thursday I am to attend a Disciplinary hearing. Last October the 30th I was involved in some banter with two of my colleagues. The first subject we were talking about was equal opportunities. I had said 'If you were a coloured female ? in a wheelchair it would tick all the boxes employers seem to have to cover these days' I had then gone onto say 'I ticked I was bisexual on my application.' Both colleges then gave each other side ward looks. I panicked and said 'only to tick a box'. The conversation then went on to talking about the dating app Tinder. My colleague asked why I was on it as I had a partner. I told her I had downloaded it with a friend when we were having a glass of wine just to see who we knew on there. I told them that I had even ticked male and female and had put in the information just looking for friends. Colleague A then said 'I think you are bisexual' after the looks I had receive just minuets before I panicked at their reaction and tried to turn it into a joke. now here's the bit im totally ashamed of and even embarrassed to type. I replied why. she said she thought I was very tactile. I replied 'what its not like I go around doing this all the time' and placed my hand on colleague B's breast for literally a tap. Both colleagues laughed and colleague B went for her lunch. I did apologise to colleague B after twice and thought the matter to be resolved. I was then called into see the manager two days later to be told I had been suspended pending investigation. Here are my problems: A/ I thought honesty was the best policy. I put my hands up strait away and admitted I was wrong. But I didn't want to play the blame game so although they know about colleague A calling me out on being bisexual I hadn't spoken about the previous conversation. If I bring it up on Thursday will I look like I'm making up stories? B/I received their statements and both have wiped out the second part of the conversation making me look like I'm a complete liar for a. saying about my application and b.my statement being different. Can I really address this professionally without looking like a liar. There are no other witnesses. C/I am sorry for my actions and this is why I didn't bring up about the previous conversation or give empathies to how being questioned about my sexuality made me feel. I am so angry after reading their statements that the whole truth hasn't been told. Can I bring it up this late into things? D/I was told that the colleague had gone to management but after reading the statements it seems to have got there through word of mouth. Not only has this broken confidentiality but its made working for the company very awkward for me in the future. especially the points about my sexuality. I have been repositioned since the end of dec while the investigation went on but staff move around a lot and with rumours my anxiety is through the roof. Especially as this has gone on so long. There are other facts I have had to leave out that don't really affect the big picture or overview but I have admitted to save the reputation of the company I work for. I have never been accused of anything like this before. sorry its so long many thanks for reading
  6. Hello, its difficult for me to share this as the whole idea of being accused of this makes me feel physically sick. I've never been accused of anything like this before and it having a pretty devasting affect on me. I just cant imagine what will happen if i lose my job over this. I hope i can get some info or feedback from you guys as i really am devastated. So the situation is.... I was called into a meeting with HR on Wednesday and suspended due to an allegation of sexual harassment against one of my work colleagues. I wasn't given the details of the incident but i know which incident they are referring to. I am due to have another meeting with HR on monday. I'll give you a brief idea of what happened. I was in the kitchen working with two of my colleagues when the alleged victim passed by and started a conversation about a man who was arrested for taking pictures up women's skirts on the escalator in the tube. We were all laughing about this and she continued to say it was similar to when another one of my colleagues made fun by pretending to be a paparazzi and doing the same with her. We were laughing about this in a very light hearted way, which is pretty much the general atmosphere of our work place. I thought it might be funny to continue the joke and placed my phone on the ground between her and myself when the flash went off and the phone took a picture. (picture attached). Before i did i pointed it out to her and we both looked down at the camera and smiled. She was slightly amused and carried on working. I hadn't noticed her mother who also works in the same department standing behind us, who having just seen this began shouting at me. I tried explaining to her that it was a joke and to ask her daughter what we had been joking about. She wouldn't listen to me and threatened to inform HR if i did it again. Her daughter then told her to be quiet. We though nothing more of it, in fact we were conversing as usual until a few days later when i was called into HR and advised that someone had made a complaint about the incident. They are now treating it as sexual harassment. The person who this happened to did not actually make the complaint, neither did her mother but i believe her mother told her line manager who has always had issues with me and she took it upon herself to contact HR without finding out what had actually happened and bringing the incident completely out of context. As an isolated incident it sounds like a joke gone too far but this type of humour is continued throughout our department. We all know each others boundaries and never take anything past a light hearted joke. I myself have had my bottom slapped by the female in question and also by other members of the department. Its all in good humour. Which is why i was so shocked when i was accused of sexual harassment. It was in no way sexual and i was in no way harassing her. Being in a more senior position to the others in the department i understand that i should have set an example but this is how it was when i began working there. I believe the person who contacted HR with the third hand information has had a problem with me since i took this position. she has made several complaints against me in the past. One particular incident i was said to have insulted one of her female members of staff. This resulted in a meeting between myself and my superiors and was brought up again during another meeting later that year. Both times i strongly denied the allegations. I confronted the person who was supposedly the recipient of my insults, she agreed with me that the incident had never actually taken place and she was even upset that i thought she had contacted HR about something like that and agreed that it was probably her line manager trying to get at me through her. I do not want to lose my job just because it is easier for HR to let me go and i also do not want to accept a warning. I intend to fight this accusation and also file a complaint against the person who made the complaint as i believe they are doing this for malicious reasons. I am now suspended without pay and with sexual harassment on my record it will be virtually impossible to continue with my career and possibly wreck my home life also. I can't imagine going back to work and facing anybody as i feel anxious and embarrassed about the whole situation. It has really affected me badly from having to lie to my work colleagues and my wife about being absent from work, i've started smoking and also planning to see the doctor about taking medication for anxiety. I feel that all the hard work i have put into my job and the relationships i have developed there are in danger of being destroyed.
  7. Hello, Today when I arrived home, my partner was distraught. He was accused of sexual harassment at work. The accusation: He said that he sent two text messages to a mates of his. The text didn't go to his mate instead they went to his female boss. One of the text suggested that his friend use a few condoms. The other text said, "David, call me, I'm worried about you." HR called my partner into their office. His female boss had complained that the texts amounted to sexual harassment. HR read him the riot act and sent him home early. HR expects to come in on Monday, but my partner thinks he's going to get the sack and will have an exit interview. Annoyingly both my partner and I lost our phones 2 days ago (in separate incidents) so he can't even check the phone to see what the heck happened. He has only worked at his company for 3.5 months - he's not even finished with his probation yet; That's at 6 months. My partner is EXTREMELY distraught. I honestly think he needs to see doctor. I've never seen him so depressed. What advice does he need when he goes back into the office? What are his legal rights? Can he be fired without a disciplinary? I want to arm him with as much information as possible. Thanks for your help!
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