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  1. Hi everyone, I have been having alot of problems at work for around a year and a half and in March I was verbally abused by my work collegue whom also pushed me. I put a grievance in following which was upheld, yet I have still been kept off of work for a month so far until the situation is sorted, yet the other individual is still at work. I have been treated differently and even the manager has been treating me badly she doesnt even talk to me anymore as she is very good friends with the other individual and it is a small company. I have told my manager previously about other situations and she just laughs about it. I even put in a complaint previously about the way that I am treated at work which was simply ignored. I have been off work since then, yes I still have not returned! although the other party involved put in a counter grievance and it was held that part of hers was also upheld (in that I had been hostile towards her) which is true although this is because of the treatment that I had received. I had since asked for the minutes and was told that I could not get them due to confidentiality. It was suggested that mediation should be taken in order to give the company feedback to which I agreed and the other party didnt. As this was not agreed to I said that I was not willing to go back to the workplace until mediation was sort as my workplace should be made safe. One of the board members suggested that I should just go back and see how it goes and that in his opinion we should both with draw our grievances. As this was not a option I have now been offered a compromise agreement of £1000 which they say works out to be £406 pay in lieu of notice if I agree to end my contract and the rest a goodwill gesture and a extra £300 for legal expenses will be reimbursed, a reference and an input into a statement that would be relayed to staff. I am not happy with this at all and am not sure what to do. I did ask the individual who proposed this offer if there was any other option and she said no. Please could you give me some advice as I am not sure what to do now.
  2. Hello everyone, I am finally writing. It took me long time to decide whether to write or not, but I am at the point that I really need some support. I will try to explain everything quite clearly, there was a lot of things going on in the meantime but the most important bits are: I've been working in fine dining restaurant for past 4 years. I am polish. So it wasn't really easy for me at the beginning, especially that I haven't got any experience before in this environment and my english was quite poor. But that was a big opportunity to start. I went through sleepless nights, very hard work, huge pressure and a lot of other difficulties that now, I can say, gave me a lot of strength In around November last year, I've asked for promotion. Our new gm ( really nice person in the beginning ) said that " that great news, he will do everything to help me and said, his happy with this. the next day, he gave me a ....book.. and said, if I finish this task he will give me another one'... ok... fine.. if this is the requirement I will do this. Time goes on.. nothing, I was still 'reading' this book.. The beginning of January, two of my male colleagues are doing managers shift ( helping with closing, more duties etc. ).. ok.. I said to myself, I am not good enough and I maybe I should just leave it. In January this year, I've been attacked by our head chef, who always had quite difficult temper and a lot of people were complaining about him, but it was always 'included'.. we just accepted this and, because he was one of the 'managers', we have been trying to avoid any problems with him. In this situation, one of his junior chefs have been involved as well. I have been dating this guy year before.. but.. we have been working together in the same place, his english ( comparing to mine ) wasn't really good and we had some communication problems and also his previous, ' over jealous ' ex girlfriend, was trying to destroy it. So I broke up. Since then we didn't have that good contact as before. But, to the point. After this situation I went straight to the managers and said that I will not accept this kind of behaviour and they need to do something because I will go to the HO. She told me that she is very sorry of course, he shouldn't react this way ( he was trying to punch me in my face when I told him that he can not shout on me in front of the guests- two different managers have seen this and were trying to pull him away from me ). She said that, there is no point going any further and we can sort it out internally. I said ok. The next day we had a meeting and he couldn't even explain himself, but I was trying to be focused on my job rather than him so I said ok, I accept this as a reconciliation ( not sure about this word ). He didn't apologize to me, nothing. She was talking a lot during this meeting. The problem was , that night before they had one-night stand.. And I am pretty sure, everything what she was saying was just to cover him and not spreading it out. The next day her proper boyfriend - and a supervisor of this restaurant - took me on a side, during the service, and said that ( of course with this not-offensive-attitude-at-all ) that if I go further, me and him will be disciplinary dismissed and I will give extra paperwork to the HO...... so this is the support you getting from your bosses. I started to feel like everyone is against me, everyone from management was checking my every step, just waiting for the smallest mistake.. Impeding my work and telling me it is my fault, not putting me on a floor plan during the service and telling me to go home..picking on every possible thing... I felt lost, because I felt like I have no help, no support and they can do whatever they want... But I was trying to stay strong. One night our GM, completely drunk, was shouting on me after work, because I have swapped with someone ( never mind the situation ) and I didnt tell him. He was totally drunk and was insulting me in front of other people, female manager as well. Nobody reacted, everyone have been scared, he used to 'kiss and hug' waitresses sometimes as well. He is a HR director partner, who was chairing a grievance hearing.. In March that was the worst, the most disgusting and really one of the most upsetting experience in my life in this company... The guy I have been dating, first pushed me, not saying sorry, then have been insulting me in front of my friends, laughing and making fun out of me, saying disgusting things in english and french... he was trying to attack me, but I stopped him and one of our colleague wa trying to do the same... I have been saying stop, started to raise my voice and kept saying if he can stop but he continuously repeat them, depriving me of my dignity, reputation and just making me getting really bad about myself.. he said to me in one point, lets go to the managers and then he turn back to the kitchen and exposed to me pretending sexual act.... nobody saw him ( I am still trying to find someone who saw him ) but he did this in front of camera... I went straight away to my manager, who said ..you again.. and started to laugh.... he suppose to talk to me the next day about this, but he send me to our agm, who said he will not talk to me and he can arrange a meeting with the gm the next day... they were already talking with this guy.. but nobody talked to me... the same night our AGM ( and the night after incident ) he was really trying hard to impede my job, but at the end he did the mistake... shouting on me ( in one point one of my tables asked me why he is shouting one me... so I don't know how loud it was, the restaurant is loud itself )... after the shift when I have already asked him about the nigh before ( whether he will talk to me about this ) he was trying to accuse me of poor performance, part-time mentality, not following managers and not listening to them.. long conversation.. and I have recorded everything.... he made a mistake, because I have asked him if he was shouting on me and he agreed to this and other things that are against the policy and human rights I guess... Since then... I went through the grievance procedure were they made three different investigations and they agreed that the guy who was harassing me was behaving unprofessionally but it wasn't sexual harassment, the agm have been doing....couching session about my service.... they said, they couldnt find any evidences that he has exposed to me ( he denies this ) because the camera was out of focus this night ( have been out of focus twice during the year and because they were trying to save money nobody repaired it )... the most important bit is that they have found from the witnesses ( my friends - and one of them said she will be MY witness ) that 'I was using force towards him and using sexual explicit terminology' ..... which I assume ( with few other people ) have been made up to sound like this.. I have been saying since the beginning that I have raised my voice and I was trying to stop him... The case is in the Tribunal.. I have send them the questionnaire and I am waiting for the reply.. I dont have a lawyer, just someone from CAB is helping me.. but he seems to treat it like a 'row' in the restaurant between someone who cant even express himself.. I have been off sick for a month, taking medication for almost three months... And I am completely alone....... I think I really have enough of this situation but inside I feel like I must do this, because this is my life, I've spent there almost four years of my life and I cannot leave it like this.... If you can tell me what do you think about this and what I suppose to think.. I have never ever been in place like this.... I really appreciate any help from you guys..
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