Anyone knows how to message someone privately on here pls? 

Thank you so much for all your messages! 

HB indeed I think you are right and your advice is very sensible. I have been having a terrible panic attack earlier, so been focusing on calming down for now.

Dx100uk you made me feel better by saying to forget about it. I will try and do so  for now until I can think rational again!

I will make amends for sure, starting with my doctors next week.

And decluttering and donating all those unwanted clothes to a womens refuge centre or charity.  

52 minutes ago, ericsbrother said:

52 minutes ago, ericsbrother said:

you took some clothes back to a shop for a refund and then ran away without the refund.

Why would the police be remotely interested in that?

 

 

This is my worry that they will investigate on it so might be summoned to police anyway.

What shall I do???

I can still go back and own up to it say i made a mistake etc... What is the worst case scenario if I do?

Should I take a solicitor with me?

Yes that's what I have already done before writing for advice on here...

Someone was being suspected and had police coming to their home and searched their house... Some ended up with cautions and  fines. Some in court cases.

All terrifying...

I am more than willing to do it and put it all behind me, but worried they might have no sympathy and call police and open a case to investigate further or previous transactions...

So really cannot know what they're thinking. I am even worried about giving the name of the shop in case they can track it here...

I think I read too many scary threads about cases where people got stopped on leaving the shop and how it was handled ( interviewd, arrested, taken to station).

Others got called by police for a statement weeks later.

Never again!

 If I don't go back and just leave it, do you think they might be on to it or suspecting anything? I am honestly not going to that shop ever again.

Hi HB, thanks for taking time to reply... defo psychological, had issues with parents leaving when young,  I am a bit of a hoarder, etc!

But never done any shoplifting, I have never even considered that as I know it's a crime black and white!! 

This label swapping somewhow was  justified in my head.

I now know better.

BankFodder - Sorry if all sounds too confusing,  to sum it up, went to do a refund, gave them the items and they went to check on them with a manager as he was not present, I got scared and left in case they were going to stop/ question arrest me.

I did NOT gain any financial benefit from it...or intended to do so, swapped for example trousers with other trousers...etc dress with other dress that would compare to the value, just as a way of getting rid of new items laying abut that I forgot to return.... In my head there was a justification, in reality is fraud !

Now I read all these threads about how serious the allegations can be (I honestly had no idea) , I know it all sounds and IS deeply disturbed and want to put it right, so thank you for your advice! Much appreciated!

Me going back, would they not see it as means of ' well you did it now so must have done it before, we need to call police and open a case to investigate further or previous transactions?'

sorry for the log post- I haven’t eaten or slept in 2 days!! 

I am super ventilating here and stressing out of my head ...

I buy clothes frequently from one major retailer store

( I will not name it for protection reasons, honestly I feel like the whole world is watching right now and FBI will come to my house any sec!!  

Oh I feel sick only writing this thread...

I think a docs visit is needed,

I do have serious anxiety after a cancer scare last year that left me mortified at the fragility of life...

yet here I am risking my freedom for something really stupid!!

I have serious issues with trolling around shops, buying clothes I never wear,

I take labels off, put them in my wardrobe in the event that I will wear them one day...

then decide not so and foolishly justify in my head that I can swap labels and match values and it's definitely NOT with the intent to swap cheaper items, so not for a financial gain-  all clothes are from this one shop, not done this anywhere else.

I can't eat or sleep or think, my anxiety is through the roof and all the cousnelling I did 6 m ago it's been wiped in a few days!!!

So please no judgement. I see now the naivity of it all and it’s been the best wake up call of my life....

Emotions aside, actual facts:

I went this store a few days ago to do two returns ( I know 2 at the same time!!) and I was in a rush to get to my children school on time.

On my way to tills I saw a dress I liked picked 2 sizes up to go and try on but thought I will do the refund first then try the dresses if I have time.

I mentioned this to the lady at the till, she processed the first refund ( stupidly I had 2 refunds paid on 2 diff cards, not on purpose I swear!! I just loose, misplace my cards all the time...).

On the second refund she said she needed to check something and called a manager.

This happened  in the past too and was all ok so didn’t worry.

But the manager didn't come for a while so she said oh I better go and find them, but took the clothes and the receipt with her.  

As I was waiting, another assistant came to the till to serve someone else, s

I said I am in a rush, is it ok to go and try these dresses on while my return is being checked, she said ok!

At that point I had no clue.

as walking to try the dresses, panic set in and it hit me:

what if I get stopped and questioned

(what if I did attach wrong labels and will they check it, I was panicking and doubting myself, actually I am most certain now I did for one of them...).  

Looked at the time and I thought this would be really bad if I get stopped and I don’t get to school on time for my kids … 

security/police would not care,

would have to call husband etc so it was a split second reaction and thought to just leave the shop instead!!

 put the dresses back on a rack, and just walked out and drove away.

The items to be refunded were still with the lady assistant so did NOT have a refund on them.

I was not stopped by security, no police or anything. 

Got to the car and drove away.

Panic set in, I was literally shaking...

what if me leaving incriminated me?

to make it less suspicious I rang the shop and spoke to an assistant and said I had to rush for school because I was waiting for a while and will come back maybe later

( after kids afterschool classes) or the next day.

She said she didn't know of my refund and asked if I wanted to speak to a manager I said ok,

manager had no clue either and didn't seem bothered,

I said I might not be able to come back until later or tomorrow in which case he said that's ok but he can't guarantee the safety of the items left or any responsibility,

I said ok, I am fine with that.

What do I do now????

Am I being paranoid?

have I incriminated myself?

Is this likely to be checked?

Or they think I am just a scatty person, etc (which I actually am)…

Scenario 1 - They might be oblivious to all this and nothing to worry, just me overthinking it because I know I am guilty!!

Forget about it, not been ‘caught’, arrested etc  and live with it. They might have put me on the look out/ blacklist to stop me/ ban me next time and it's a matter of wait and see because nothing actually happened but .......this option is KILLING me ….

I would rather go and own up?

Is that wise?

Should I look for legal advice already?

Get a solicitor and explain all this, it could be less damaging if I admit all willingly before they ‘catch’ me and apologise and offer to pay any liabilities

… just not want police or courts involved.

I feel I need to do SOMETHING!!

Should I go back, and say

‘”hey came back for my things I left in a hurry, can I grab them,

I have more time today and need to try those dresses I saw last time,

I’ll have a look around the shop first, and do the refund when I pay later? “

But not do any of that, just slowly make my way to the door and actually leave and never set foot in the shop again??

This would be a lucky escape if not stopped.

OR Should I ring up and say- “

hey ab that refund sorry I am going on holiday tomorrow for 2 weeks and won’t have time to pop by,

if you can keep them fine if not I am happy to discard the items,

or put them to a charity etc”…

(they sometimes have a box to bring in old clothes…)

( items left are only £35 value ). I

n this case they still keep the items so they have the proof

 - another lie I know, but maybe of way of getting out. from having them keep the items...

Scenario 2 - They picked on it and I was going to be stopped anyway.

Me leaving the returns behind made it worse and more suspicious.

Are they likely to be investigating right now?

And report to police?

They will probably find evidence as they have the receipt and the cctv

(Shop has clear CCTV apparently and a good prevention loss team in place from what I read on these threads),

if they search by card probably find 3-4 returns in the last 6 months,

cannot say for sure if legit or not,

but I understand you only need 2 offences.

Can they do anything provided I just left these items and not had an actual refund on this occasion?

If they take action what’s likely to happen?

When and what first, will police come to my house, etc?

Is it better to go and fess up- 

Scenario 3 -

GO in ask to speak to a manager and actually admit it??

I was returning the wrong items and realised it, panicked and left.

Obv no refund required.

What is the worst outcome from that, would they investigate further ??

Police squat coming down most likely…??

If I caused any financial loss I am happy to pay them anything!!

Just don't want the police involved or courts or a criminal record.

Are they likely to be reasonable like that?

Our best friend is a copper and if this comes out, the shame will be unbearable.

.. everyone knows him/us…or should trust and swallow my pride and talk to my copper friend and see what he says, is he legally obliged to report/ investigate if I do??

Pleeeease I would appreciate some advice asap... 

Yours Truly Scared