Yes I really do think he will be able to go back to work once he gets through the counceling. He loved his job until all this started happening. I agree with you totally, I know its harsh, but I said the same, he cannot worry about other people experiencing the same, at the end of the day he tried very hard to put a stop to the bullying but unfortunately this company obviously condone it. Ultimately I believe they will pay a high price for their loyalty to this man because one day they will not be able to cover for him anymore. Obviously my priority is my partner and I just want him to concentrate on getting well and our lives getting back to normal. .He has done all he can. Thank you

Hi all Its been a terrible few weeks, my OH had his welfare meeting at home and it was decided that due to his obvious anxiety he should see an independent doctor to establish if he was well enough to go through the grievance procedure. The doctor diagnosed that his condition was moderately severe and that it was totally work related. He even used the word bullying in his report. It was decided that although it would be difficult for him he should get the grievance out of the way, with special condition attached, ie: must be accompanied, must take breaks during the meeting and if it was going to last more than one and a half hours it must be done in stages over a few days. The doctor advised that in order for his counceling to be effective this would be one less stress to have to deal with if he got it out of the way. At the welfare meeting my OH was told he was not to contact any of his colleagues and they were also warned to have any contact with him! I do not understand this because my partner has not done anything wrong and his colleagues are his friends, they were just genuinely concerned about him. So, today he had his grievance hearing and basically HR think he is imagining it all. Even though my OH's companion backed up everything he said. HR are denying that any previous complaints were made against the manager, even though we have a copy of one of the complaints that was made. Each time my partner answered their questions they would reply, that's not bullying. So my OH's companion kept having to tell them that they need to investigate it properly. They said they will but all through the meeting they kept trying to imply that the events in question did not happen and that the manager has done nothing wrong. One of the ladies present was at our home a few weeks ago and made a comment about the manager in question but in todays meeting she denied saying it. It seems that they have all closed ranks. My OH is not imagining this, he is ill because of his treatment by this man, even an independent doctor has said so. For him to be this ill he must have a very good imagination. When the meeting was over my OH's companion told him that the manager in question is being moved and he will be starting his new position in January. I find it all very strange. My OH just wanted them to acknowledge what this man has done so that he stops doing it but it looks like they are just moving him on so that he can do it somewhere else. So if they have already decided to move him why are they not willing to admit what he has done.

Thank you for your reply, please can you explain "bullying leading to personal injury" so that I fully understand. Both his boss (in writing) and the HR dept have said he has GOT to have the meeting, it seems they have no regard for my partners health and think they can overrule any advice from the doctor. I know the situation has to be dealt with to enable him to get back to work but they seem to be quite heavy handed in their approach. Not in any way sympathetic or understanding.

I have finally managed to get through to the HR dept and have told them the situation, I had to be quite forceful to get my point across and told them that they have a duty of care to all employees and that by allowing this man to attend the meeting would be detrimental to my partners health, eventually they got back to me and said my partners boss would not be attending the meeting and they are arranging for someone else to attend instead, I have been told that because of the allegation of bullying my partner must now put in a formal grievance. He knows that he has to do this but his councilor advised him that he needs to wait until he is in a better state of mind to proceed with this as he is not strong enough to deal with it at present. We are going to the doctors on Monday to get either a letter from him or a medical report so that we can give this to HR on Tuesday which is the day they want to visit. I had to insist the meeting be held in our home because since my partner broke down he just will not go out of the house. I am still waiting for confirmation of this request. I have no idea how my partner will cope with the meeting as he can't even bring himself to speak half the time. Luckily I am on 2 weeks holiday from work so I will be at home to support him. I have stayed really strong for him but I am starting to feel out of my depth now.

Thank you for your replies I will make him an appointment with the doctor to get a letter for HR as I really need to try and sort out this meeting, my OH is genuinely not in a fit state to see this man and the fact that he now needs councelling speaks volumes. He is usually a very strong person and I had no clue this was happening until he broke down on that morning and couldn't even walk out of the door. I know that this man has had 3 possibly 4 complaints against him over the last 12 months all with allegations of bullying but nothing seems to change and there is also one other employee on sick at the moment with work related stress because of his bullying. I desperately need help sorting this out, its breaking my heart seeing my partner like this. Thank you

Hi all I will try to keep this brief but basically my partner has been off work due to work related stress for 4 weeks. He is being bullied by his boss so much so that he got ready for work as normal one morning and then just broke down, crying and physically trembling and could not go out of the front door. I got him to the doctors the same day and he is now having to go for councilling because his stress and anxiety is so bad. He is in his 40's and this has all had a very bad effect on him. Most days he cannot even speak to anyone from work as the stress of it just sets him back and he breaks down so I have had to speak to them on his behalf but either my partner or myself have kept in constant contact with them with updates. His boss is fully aware that my partner is ill because of his actions but he is insisting on a welfare visit next week. We said we didn't have a problem with the visit but requested that it be with my partners Service Manager and someone from HR. He received an unpleasant letter from his bullying boss yesterday basically saying that he is aware my partner has refused to see him but he has got to have the meeting with him and the Service Manager. Instead of it being at our home his boss wants the meeting at a venue close by and will contact him with the details shortly. He has also made reference to the contact by my partner and wants an explanation why he is not contacting them. Even though he has been, either himself on his better days or when they have phoned I have spoken with them. There has been contact at least 3 times a week. It was made clear that a meeting with the boss would be detrimental to his health but he is willing to meet with a different manager and Hr but his boss has totally disregarded the well-being of my partner and since the letter came yesterday he has been in a right state and he now has to worry about the meeting until it happens next week. He is just not strong enough mentally to have a face to face meeting with this person. My questions are, can I attend the meeting with him as my partner has admitted to me that he is scared of him and also is there anyway that we can insist his boss does not attend? We are currently drafting a letter to raise a formal grievance against his boss.