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Everything posted by McCaw

  1. Well...I think My girlfriend would be down with what ever I wanted, but I know she holds the view 'keep it simple, put your name on the certificate' which does have its advantages but my girlfriend, as much as I love her, isn't particually renowned for thinking through long term repercussions of decisions - hence this thread really.
  2. Well that does all sound good! Thanks!
  3. Err yeah, yeah I guess, like ideally I would...I would... I guess it'll be a case of what I weighing what I would really like up against like up against doing the right thing by him, the right thing by my gf, making the best call for out family, you know? Im not sure, I'm a bit back and forth on it.
  4. Yeah that does, thank you sure, yeah I have heard you can move abroad with your kid but I just mean that me and her would have equal rights yeah? I'd have access rights? They cant just take PR away from you. I see, so it would end but he would still be my son? They'd still be some sort of piece of paper that says "***McCaw's Son" or you 'know something to that affect? I mean I know that doesn't really matter, a piece of paper is just that - a piece of paper but I would like that - something, somewhere, traceable that says he's mine, doesn't have to be the birth certificate but
  5. Right I see... So I guess with that my concern is how solid is it? Can it be taken away? Say if my gf woke up in 10 years and decided she wanted to emigrate to Australia with brad pitt, could she? Do I have equal rights or can she override it because shes the biological parent? And then if its 'parental' responsibility then kinda like what happens when he's 18? does it stop? do I stop being a next of kin? would he be in line to inherit mine or my families estates or not? I know that can all be fixed with a will and the like but I guess I just kind of wonder what happens at that poi
  6. Oh yeah its totally safe...its just, well half of it is raised up. Its baby proofed, its just not conventional as such.
  7. Really? So, if you don't mind me asking, was it a lot of social workers and the like or just loadsofpaper work? My concern with adoption, aside from it potentially being lengthy... is my age going against me ]( I'm not 21 till march) and my house going against me (I don't know if that can be an issue or not but it's not particually conventional, it's basically like a cross between a big treehouse and a cabin on stilts)
  8. So. If there was no biological father about do you think the process still would of dragged on?
  9. That's really intresting - I read somewhere 2yrs but 6 months living together isn't bad at all! That kind of time flies by!
  10. Yeah it is. Like when my gf talks about her childhood it does break your heart but then you think y'know her situation isn't even that rare, mother died, father became an alcoholic, I bet there's hundreds of kids out there now in just that situation...it is sad. Saying that i do think foster parents do a really really good job - I think if they had less kids written off and stuck in care like my gf and more kids I foster homes the system would work much better....butr there we are - I'm not the one running the country! Well that doesn't sound to bad! I guess you just always hear ho
  11. Its definetly less hassle I just want to avoid caring more hassle for me or him in the long run for any reason
  12. No no not at all. She doesn't know who he is A and B i'll be his dad, no one else, if she or the lad needs money it'll be mine. So id need to be a step parent for that, yeah?? So we'd have to get married before we could apply? Yeah ideally I would like to be, I don't have to be it won't stop me being a dad, but I would like it to be official
  13. Yeah well he's a lawyer...ive only spoke to him the once and that's when he was saying basically "off record Andrew its easier to just sign your name on the BC" but it may be worth me getting him to have a look at what he could recommend on record as well. that's right, she has no family so no one would contest me having parental rights or adopting or anything. sure, its not that I don't want to get married - I do at one point I just don't/didn't want to rush into it, more for my gf than anything - she didn't always have the best Christmases or birthdays and I just wanted
  14. That is a big big positive definitely!! With the adoption thing, as I understand it, you don't necessarily have to be married but you have to have been living together for, I think they recommend a minimum of 2 years. We've only been for a few months because I've been building a house. Plus you have to be over 21 and I'm not 21 till March so whatever we're looking at a the very least a good year+ before they'll consider us. Which isn't really a problem, I don't mind waiting, its not like either of us are going anywhere, we're solid. I guess theres only really 2 issues with the adop
  15. Aww thank you Yeah totally - that is our other option, I want to legally be his dad its just a case of doing it one way or another. I don't pretend to be an expert on adoption, i'm not but I think your right if we get married then because there's not other father on the scene adopting should be fairly straight forward I would think, I would hope.
  16. Right, so if someone came and objected and said he was the father? We're confident In that not happening Yeah see im trying to look at all possible eventualities, like I was saying above when looking at the hypothetical that we could split up - in that situation it would be having no legal rights to the kid that I think scares me the most. Oh really? You don't have to if im asking too much but just generally in what kind of way? Im trying to get an idea of if we could hit problems in the future what kind of thing they would be. Thanks again!
  17. Thanks Thank you. Yeah well my family, some friends. We haven't been lying about it, but I haven't been correcting the people we know who assume its mine. I guess that's the thing, like I wouldn't intend to lie to our son about it, I don't think - I don't believe its being a biological parent that makes a you a dad anyway, its about being there, putting in the hours because you want to and he'll know that. But then I dunno, I guess if we do this then we need to start presenting the scenario my friends dad put across as the truth to the wider world. I guess its not like most peop
  18. We are together we're just not married That's not an issue,we are living together, just not married but it's would be no problem for me to be present at the registration Right, intresting, I didn't know any of that. So basically if I'm on the BC then We'd need mine and my gf's signiture to get our lad a passport, and if she was to go abroad with him and without me she'd need a letter from me? That would be fine, I'd want him to have a passport. It wouldn't come to DNA or anything, right?
  19. Ahh cheers - you've got a lot of categories, I got a bit confused!
  20. To cut a really long story short, the facts are: - my gf is pregnant - the father was a one night stand from the other side of the country, she doesn't even remember his name, he's not in the picture - we've been friends for a very long time before we started dating - I want equal parental responsibility, she wants the same. That the end goal however we go about it. I wanted some legal advice and have a friends dad who does that he told me: If you want to come see me professionally i'll tell you how it is totally illegal to put your name on the birth certificate,
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