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eskimoman

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About eskimoman

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  1. Thanks for the link Bazzas. I think you misunderstand me. You see, as my own flesh & blood (if that being the case) there is not a thing I would not do for her, even if ultimately that would mean parting with every last saving i had, which as my own, yes would be hers, so come death or circumstance or however was necessary, my one and only child in this world would have whatever help necessary to get the best out of her life. But, if the news was that she had not been mine all this time then paying a monthly amount to her mum given that we are both on benefits & live apart & not together becomes a rather more taskful thing to do, it would be different then you see. Not because I would think any less of Bec, I would never do that, but financing her mums life life as well as hers, well, that's when I start feeling a bit of a mug in this precarious situation. Hence again, needing to know, if I am her biological parent. Not only that... but for anything legal, & this includes wills of course, being the biological father cuts out a lot of the red tape & generally just makes things easy when anything requiring documentation is needed. It's not easy you know being in this position, but it's mainly the 'just not knowing for absolutely 100% certainty that cuts me to the core sometimes, especially the times when Bec is 'not making school attendance hardly at all', & 'under the watchful of social workers due to this truancy & seems to have a very hurtful way of lying & manipulating people a lot (so common unfortunately,it seems in this generation). YES i want to keep the unconditional love & patience to help her manage & get through her schooling & be a rock for her if/when she just needs a roof over her head or a shoulder to cry on, but for to have been taken for a 'mug' all this time, I just can't be doing with that. It's a hard situation but I guess the old adage is true, blood is thicker than water & a much stronger emotional bond. But all that said, & put aside, the certification needs sortings so the dna really IS required anyways. Is it not possible the council registrations dept would not also have this testing facility for the late adding in of fathers on Bcert's?? or the NHS Again, all help appreciated for the 'correct way of doing this' I just want to get it resolved asap.
  2. Rebecca, lives with her mum about 8 miles down the road from me. She will turn 13 soon & always, I have seen her as my real Daughter ever since she was born. HOWEVER somethings become apparent to me as I try my level best to do the best I can by her always. I'll outline the situation... When my ex was carrying (from around Jan 2002) we had recently, amicably broken up but quite possibly there was a conception there with me as the logical Father... buuuuut, also another person was apparently also a strong possibility. Now this had played on my mind a lot during that time right up until Rebecca's birth. From that moment on I felt she was mine & it was generally agreed upon by all concerned that this was so. My ex however, did not name 'anybody' on the certificate (ive since found out she could have put anybody on the certificate anyway, & if she had know this was ok to, would have named me on the BCert. The other chap previously a contender as father, was actually someone I'd known for some years, albeit not closely, just from seeing around. He had already conceived a son (now 20'something) who lived with his mum (my ex). And he has since had problems of his own, his son Stuart has hardly ever seen him & he has been in prison, had serious drink problem, generally fell on hard times but abandoning any role as father to Rebecca's stepbrother & indeed not making any claim as Rebecca possibly being his. (sorry this is going on a bit but i think the details important). So for years nothing more is thought about who might be the dna proved correct father but as i'm 99% convinced she's mine, life goes on. Now... The last coupla years has raised some questions... I have ms & I am closer to 50 than 40 for my age so the thought of leaving a will had been circling my mind & even suggested at by family (as the sensible thing to do, not due to any impending fatality particularly). I have some savings to leave to Rebecca & should the worst happen, my Family agreed, in fact it was suggested by them, that anything of monies should go to my Daughter, which quite surprised me at the time. As I said earlier I was never named initially on BCert way back then, but I have paid (since Sep of 2014) a voluntary stipend of money to my ex to help her out & to give Rebecca (via the same monies) five per week pocket money. Twenty for Rebecca then & forty also for her care but managed by her mum. Sixty per month all in all. So with quite a bit already paid out & with Bec heading to an inheritance of any monies saved all looks pretty good. It is driving me crazy though lately, that a small% chance could exist whereby she is not actually mine but this other chaps. A small but increasingly an 'I need to know' percentage. It's got to the point where I have clearly stated, that for the sensible obvious legal reasons & for peace of mind, a swab DNA is needed & that I didn't feel I could pay her the usual monthly money until this was settled, but have assured her of saving it as a 'backpay' for her when we know for sure one way or the other. You see, if the worst came to the worst, I wouldn't, could not, love Bec any less, I'd carry on to do my best at being a 'stepdad' cos it's gone this far & she's a great (albeit very very rebellious girl of late lol) but the fact remains of this one indiscretion at the time of Bec's conception casting a shadow on it all & without DNA confiming I just cant feel at peace about this third party (npi'd) support for which up to now I have constantly provided to her mother. End of facts as I know them *phew*! I've talked to Bec's mum about it & said i'd willingly pay for the test as well. Once I knew who to see, where to go etc. So please, please, anyone... if they can outline next steps to take & reputable source for the tests, or indeed any protocols which would help speed this process up I would be extremely grateful. The mother, is on long term benefit, I am aware that maintenance may be involved once I am placed on the Birth Certificate offically (only it seems, by way of the DNA test I think can this be done this far down the line??) I just want to help anyway i can but not throw the lot away if this 1% doubt ive in question of who father becomes a proven 100% that she is NOT mine. Thanks in advance any caggers who respond & thanks for your patience, reading through all that!
  3. It is very staggered it seems & has gone so completely out of proportion from it's original 'intended' function as to be just now a puzzle for our pockets & brains to chew over. Definitely needs some action I think but then it makes sense that if they are dividing locales/costs in such a way then not enough would be stirred up at anyone time to initiate such action (rather crafty, tactical gov move if looked at from that perspective). Well, I am at a loss with the whole CT issue, as many of us are it seems. If I had to define the enigma of politics & put it it in one short paragraph, the CT would be the obvious first choice I guess. Very interesting comments all, thanks for sharing.
  4. @worried33 - Yup it seems it's pretty much an open field to who pays what depending on locale & council policy. @Nystagmite - Yup I have the single person reduction taken off. I think this topic is pretty much done for my query now, thanks all for the help. Of course if anyone wants to add anything further please do. It is indeed curious though that a tax designed to assist in council budgeting & upkeep can be legislated so diversely in what is meant to be a fair system for the public in general. They should simply abolish this tax, we did without it before it came along just fine, it just adds to confusion I think, especially when it is governed by seemingly separate factions. That's not me being ungrateful for them paying it when they did of course but I am thinking of all those who had it differently & had to pay full on all the way down the line. Surely anything assisting a governing body like the tax is supposed to do should assist all, not segregate certain joe public's because they live in different locales. Understandable perhaps in the U S of A but here in Britain? Perhaps we really are becoming the 53rd State after all.
  5. Thanks for clarifying for me guys. I figured there would be some easy explanation for it. I guess I was quietly kinda hoping it was a political coo & I could have stayed under the radar for a few more years lol. Perhaps not ): Oh well, at least I feel 'in the loop' now, albeit a little broker for it.
  6. Hi, I received a very unexpected letter from my local council just recently regarding council tax. I am a single father living in private rented property who has MS. I am on ESA (support group) & PiP (Enhanced mobility & Daily living component). The letter stated that as of now, due to council budgeting, the council could no longer afford to subsidize the council tax & I was henceforth required to pay approx £200.00 (with offer of installments) to cover my council tax & presumably each year that follows. Now, I am not disputing the money here, what I am curious about is if this has happened in other council districts, whereby the council tax has wavered/paid the tax for people & also why I wasn't aware that this was the case previously. The thing is, for the last few years, they always sent out a council tax bill showing lots of figures then an 'amount you owe=ZERO' at the bottom so I always assumed I was somehow exempt due to my circumstances. If they have been paying it for the public for some years, then well yes this is very generous &, most certainly, one would think would attract voters so a win win for the council. I really do not wish to stir up any problems with my local council who, to be very fair, are very 'automated' in keeping the housing benefit coming & I hardly hear from them at all, sometimes for years at a time. I am just curious as to if anybody else has come across this recent state of affairs, whereby the council was subsidizing fully the tax, then perhaps the notification that alas they cannot do that anymore for economical reasons. One other question, is the £200.00 figure per year correct for a single person living alone such as I am in a privately rented accommodation? thanks in advance, i always appreciate this site, it's very existence is like a permanent weight off my mind, you guys do a remarkable job.
  7. I am just about to phone the number they gave me to ask for the mandatory reconsideration notice. I've kept all the info I need, including about the SSC1 form which I might need later. I really appreciate all the help & info CAG provides via you guys, so again, very much thank you to you all for your help.
  8. Yes, i didn't mean to confuse you, it was the 'middle rate care' that i was receiving through DLA which is now the 'daily living element' viz PIP. SO viz a viz, that is where the missing chunk of money has gone. They have deemed it that I can care for myself (which isn't always the case though I try very hard, MS can be very random as far as symptoms are concerned). I suppose by appealing I just prove them right, irony irony o.O Perhaps if I don't appeal they will see that I cannot manage my affairs & will go ahead & pay me the missing part! Not fancying the odds to much mind. The really funny thing about all this is I had pointed out to the lady who did the 'one to one' that in a worst case 'MS' scenario, I had one time stepped into the kitchen & for a few moments didn't have a clue where I had come from! Oh yes, perhaps they'll let me drive a car now too!
  9. Yes, it was the care component of dla i was referring too. The lady who did the 'one to one' interview admitted at the time that she was in a hurry & this was in the presence of my mother who was there as support so i shouldn't think the appeal will be a problem being as she literally 'rushed me' through the process. Thanks for the information anyways guys, I was not sure how to appeal since they had changed the system over so cheers again for that. Will request a mandatory recon first thing monday.
  10. I see. So it is as bad as i thought then. So being just two points off the minimum 8 for the daily living element I have lost all that money. I will indeed appeal. Thanks id6052 for clarifying that, even though it is not what I wanted to hear, it is always best to know where one stands so cheers for that.
  11. Hi. I've just gone from DLA to the new PIP & have lost £150.00 per month it seems. Just got the pip 'final' deciders today. Currently (till start of feb) on middle rate carers & lower rate disability I am/was getting about £369.00 per month. Now in the Pip letter they tell me I don't get the 'daily living component' as I only had 6 points (min 8 required). They are saying I will receive £56.75 per week for the 'enhanced mobility' component. So under the new PIP i'll receive £225.00 per month instead of £369.00? My question is this:- Will I receive a separate letter about the carers allowance? If I don't have a carer, will that money go to me like it did with the DLA's? I am very worried at the moment as I seem to be losing out on what amounts to almost £40 per week from this new pip benefit compared to the DLA, and this while I am actually worse off medically than i was when i made my original claim! I am an MS patient, I cannot walk far without assistance & I use a wheelchair if someone takes me out for the day (family usually). There have been mental health issues (I rarely go out at all) though seems pointless mentioning those because it seems in no part does my pip claim reflect to any of my mental health problems only in the mobility side. If this is all I am to receive now can anybody tell me the steps to appealing or post a link to same. Any help with this appreciated as at the moment I just feel like i've been robbed.
  12. Oh yeh, having savings put in for a childs future, dumbest idea ever, what the heck was i thinking of! All i can say to you is I am glad I think this way and not your way, I would be glad for accountabilty by law if my childs future was all the better for it. Isn't accounting for the benefits/payments part & parcel of nearly every thread or argument to do with this subject? All I was suggesting was that it would be better that it was accounted for rather than argued over all the time. I Will not add any more to this topic.
  13. Thanks for merging those citizen B, not quite sure how I managed to create two of the same topic, I think perhaps was when editing my initial first post. Cheers for the very sound advice all. reallymadwoman:- Yup, the trend for electric gadgets I know well! She is into computers big time now, always on it at home and when she comes to stay, takes after her old man! Anything like that she knows I got it covered for her. RE the birth certificate, yes she should have put me on it from the word go & this is something that will be put right at somepoint and if something did happen to Becs mum then I would clarify it with a dna test anyway though trying to be in the right place at the right time with her mum to sort this with the legal people is another matter entirely, but if the need was to arise say of urgency like you mentioned then it would be sorted immediately for any legalistic purposes, I'd stop at nothing till that was indeed clarified. I have read through all the replys & it has helped tremendously with how I should manage this. I appreciate you all taking the time out to reply and the advice given, thank you. I'll be talking to her mum hopefully later today and we'll get this in motion so Bec has what she needs covered for her school equip/clothes and pocket money. Cheers for all your help!
  14. Just a reply after reading the first page of this thread regarding fairness, ie the mum shouldn't be spending the money the dads paying out. They should simply make a law for accountability, ie receipts for what money is spent. If any left over it should, by law, go into savings account for the child/childrens future, withdrawable only by them & for when they become officially of adult status & have left school. Easy enough really, if the government pulled it's proverbial finger out & applied it to this.
  15. I should correct the mistake above i think. She is receiving child benefit (I thought CSA was child benefit). So replace CSA>CB in the above. Thank you. [edited the posts myself so ignore this reply] Also sorry for the double posting of thread, was by accident when first amending. I've notified the cag team=) Please all replys, perhaps to the other thread, thank you.
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