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Posts posted by perplexedofdorset

  1. This is what is worrying me Uncle B.


    The man is a bully with the mindset of a spoiled toddler (much like Trump) He has had his way for far too long and the game he started is not heading the way he saw it going ... and the more it goes wrong the more desperate hes going to get ... How can he get out of this without losing face?


    So what does a toddler do when hes losing or has been told to go to bed? Have a tantrum.

    Whilst real toddlers might starfish themselves on the floor, scream and shout and break a few toys .. this man could break the world.


    I hear he is isolating himself from even his closest advisors, another symptom of Hubris syndrome which he almost certainly has in spades.

    We can only hope that there is someone close to him that realises what he could do and can get close enough to do something final about it.


  2. TSO Hosting ... This is what they wrote ....


    We're getting in touch to let you know that your Linux cloud hosting package will be migrated to our latest tsoHost hosting platform based on cPanel


    We've tried to migrate ourselves before to no avail, they and other hosting companies tried to migrate us too  but they were unable to so we plodded along quite happily on our current platform

  3. Hi there,


    I run an online forum which has been going since March 2017.


    We renewed our hosting again in February 2021 and yesterday have received an email from the hosting company saying they will be moving us to a new platform in the next couple of months, which we neither asked for or want.


    Adding insult to injury they tell us of course this will cost more money which they will very kindly send us a bill for.


    We have tried to move platforms before but no one could migrate us due to a peculiarity of some coding, including this Hosting company.


    Surely having renewed our hosting this year for the platform we are currently on we have effectively signed a contract between them and us ...

    Surely they cant just migrate us without our wanting to (which will no doubt fail) and charge us more for the privilege ??


    I really need some help here.


    Thank you

  4. I have been on Universal Credit and Council Tax support since  April 2020. 

    I was told, despite being on Universal Credit and a single occupant in my home, I still had to pay a proportion of the Council Tax, which I did ...

    Then a month or two later I received a cheque for the amount I had paid from the Council Tax.

    I have just received a council tax bill for this year stating an amount I have to pay ...

    My question is Do I, on Universal Credit and being a solo occupant still have to pay a proportion of the yearly rate or not. ??/


    Thank you




  5. Yes,  I had just come back from him when I found the letter.

    He was very sympathetic and as far as he can be, being happily married, understanding.  He is also my husbands doctor so was fully aware of the situation.

    He offered me counselling which I declined as I loathe crying in front of strangers (tho that didnt stop me yesterday) and a script for an anti depressant, which I accepted but dont think I will fill.


    Question: Can he divorce me when I have done nothing wrong ?????

  6. I received a letter from a Bournemouth solicitors this morning. I picked it up when I came home from the Docs, filling the car and shopping.

    My blood ran cold, my vision turned red ... I thought He cant .... Divorce me ... I have done nothing wrong! 

    Is that right?????
    I sat down and after a  hefty gulp or three of my gin I took a deep breath and opened it ... 

    The relief was immense, overwhelming ... It was to do with my Auntie Helen's Estate.

    She passed away on the 30th April, I went to the funeral on Tuesday (alone) and she had left me the two (valueless) paintings that always captivated me when I visited her.


    Hes thrown away 15 years together and almost 13 years of marriage and Im having to cope with everything on my own (seriously on my own ... No family and few friends, none of whom are close) and its crucifying me .

    He calls  up and asks if Im ok once a week or so ..

    What hes really asking is Can I absolve him of his actions .... NO IM NOT OK!. 

  7. News! I have just received an amended council tax bill ... That was quick.

    Do you think they contacted him and he replied or are just taking my word for it?


    Whilst a good thing, It sort of makes this horrible situation more real and my heart is breaking ...

    but no, that does not in any way mean I want him back ... well him from a year or three ago yes, but not the thing he has become.

  8. The mortgage (what there was of it) was  paid off a few years ago ( by massively overpaying each month and going without holidays, evenings out, fun etc) and the house is in my name.


    I shall look into universal credit but was always told, by him, that as I was a 'director' of the company and being 'paid' ... ie the money for the household  bills ... I would not be able to claim unemployment.


    I have however applied for reduced council tax ... I did this a week or so after he left and all I have heard so far was a request for his forwarding address, which I have supplied.

    Since I applied I have paid one months full council tax ... Do they backdate your claim and take any overpayments (in my case almost £50 per month) off an amended bill?


    Thank you for replying, I feel incredibly isolated and alone at the moment.

  9. Im very sorry to be posting this but Im getting increasingly worried about my current situation and prospective future and need some real advice.

    I know you can get a free 30  minutes consultation with a solicitor but am very wary of that route.

    So the story, are we sitting comfortably then I will begin .....


    My husband and I got together in September 2004 (we had known each other many years before at various intervals)

    He lived in my flat (which I owned outright) and insisted that he pay his fair share of the bill.s 

    I was self sufficient with a part time job , could afford the household expenses but agreed.


    In June 2006 we married, a small affair but perfect (I hate debt and have never been in it)


    In December 2006 we got a small (£55 K ) mortgage using my credit history and the money from the sale of my flat as a deposit,

    we moved to a modest house and have lived there ever since.


    During our time together I have always worked part time and we have always had separate money.


    In 2014 he formed a small company of which I am a 'director' but my 'wages' go straight into the houses bank account to pay the household bills 

    and the rest of the companies monies were his to spend. 

    I used my wages from my part time job to pay for my needs;  haircuts, contact lenses, hobbies etc. 


    Fast forward through the years to January 2018 .

    I have just been made redundant from my job of 8 years and my husband suddenly decided he wanted a change of lifestyle

    Having got to know him over the years I knew that he would do this whether or not I agreed so I let him go his way,

    however right from the first I stated that he could have some fun doing this but there was no way I could or would live with him as a woman full time ...


    Can you see what it is yet?????


    During the intervening year and 3 months he has increasingly lived like a single 20 something girl going out as often as he possibly can to bars and clubs until the ... I would say wee hours of the morning, but its shocking how late (or is it early) that  these establishments stay open to, coming home drunk and finally 2 months short of our 13th wedding anniversary, he says he wants to separate for a while as we were not getting along very well.


    I ask him to leave, get hold of the keys to the house and off he trots into the (tequila) sunrise.


    Since then, April 5th, I have seen him 3 or 4  times, when he has wanted to come and collect stuff,

    These short meetings do not go well.

    He says he will be honourable to me, will not leave the house financially insecure but I'm worried.

    True at the beginning of May he paid in an amount of money to the house account,

    but that is the only first month that he has been totally absent ...

    Will he continue to do so, as the guilt of doing this  wears off.


    My friends urge me to seek legal advice, to divorce him but Im so scared ....


    Everything I have ever had or own is in the house and Im terrified I will be forced to sell it to give him a share of it,

    We have no children, I have no money,  am not able to register for benefits (as I am a 'director' of his company)

    and as my redundancy money has gone I am now completely reliant on him to fund the house


    He is very keen to avoid lawyers, would prefer to move back in and co habit.


    Can I have some advice please?


  10. Thanks guys. The letter (as of post number 37) went into the HA offices at 9 am this morning.... and I got a receipt for it too.


    We are talking to the other owner occupiers in the Terrace. Out of 10 houses, 5 are owner occupied, One is HA (they had to buy the end house to gain access to the land ) and the other 4 are rented out.


    Every single person we have spoken to have responded that they have written tothe HA, unanimously stating that they have never been challenged for parking there, have parked there since the building of *** and before and they have never seen the parking area full.


    I don't think they have a leg to stand on.


    Apparently there is a clause in the sale agreement that says the residents of our terrace can demand that the HA build a dwarf wall with iron railings at the front of each property should they request it and if requested the HA has to get it built within a week or we can employ peeps to construct it on their behalf and at there cost.


    If they really get arsey with us I reckon they are going to get inundated with requests for walls with extremely ornate railings!!!

  11. Thanks for that...After your last point I googled the HA and parking permits in our town and came up with some minutes of a local council meeting in September where it was recorded that (and I quote)


    the HA will set up a permit scheme in *** Court (a block of sheltered housing in the middle of the town) and that any surplus permits after residents have been given theirs will probably be put to the public, however they are still deciding on it. Cllr *** asked for further details that Cllr !!! could not provide at this point



    But that was the only entry.


    Their website has a lot of guff about ethics, caring for people etc but if you actually want to see/read anything you have to have a residents number and password.


    As I mentioned at the beginning of this thread the HA had recently changed their name or have been taken over and as the previous HA were appalling at getting anything done, this was a new broom effect.

  12. We have constructed a letter........


    5th May 2017


    FAO Miss ***

    Neighbourhood Housing Officer


    RE *** *** CAR PARK


    Dear Miss *****


    We refer to your letter of 28th April 2017.


    We responded to the original enquiry from your colleague Miss **** confirming our right to park on 28th March 2017.

    The letter was hand delivered to your offices at ***********. We have received neither an acknowledgement or response.


    We consider that (HA) are mistaken in the assumption that residents of (Our terrace)

    have no right to park there, and assert that the onus is on (HA) to prove why we do

    not have a right to park there.


    You refer to a consultation period. There has not been a consultation period.

    You have sent letters asking for information by a certain date. Consultation implies dialogue and consideration of options.

    You have addressed letters to the owners / occupiers at each address, but you have no

    idea if the property owners have, in fact, received your communications and therefore have been

    consulted. A number of the properties in ( Our terrace) are not owner occupied.


    We question how many spaces each resident of **** **** has a right to use. 2 spaces per property is generally accepted as sufficient.

    *** *** has 16 houses and 42 parking spaces. We have requested from (Our council) the original planning documents and Section 106 agreement to allow us to understand why so many parking spaces were included in the scheme. You should wait until we have had an opportunity to examine them before considering any “consultation period” closed.


    Have (HA) considered any alternatives? Given the number of spaces why do you not simply allocate 2 to each property in *** *** and issue permits to those (Our terrace) residents who want them?


    Have (HA) considered the effects on the wider neighbourhood? If there is a parking problem in *** *** then you would simply be moving it somewhere else. The obvious place is ********, which already has a parking problem. ******** is a public road where other (HA) tenants live. You would have no control over the problem you would be creating there.


    Are you aware of how many spaces each of your tenants use? There is a cleaning business operating from one address in *** *** that regularly has in excess of 2 sign-written vehicles in the car park.


    You have not published details of where you envisage your proposed scheme applying. Is it the car park only? Could you please send us a drawing of the extent of the proposed scheme.


    We have never seen the *** *** car park full. Generally there have been 5 vehicles belonging to residents of (Our Terrace) parked there.

    One of these is a camper van belonging to the owners of number 4. We understand that they are in the process of constructing a driveway to accommodate the camper van. There would therefore be 4 vehicles remaining belonging to residents of (Our terrace) parked in the car park. This is not excessive. If (HA) were simply to invite us to participate in the scheme you would be pleasantly surprised at the lack of impact we would have.


    Could you also assure us that if this scheme were to proceed (HA) would employ a reputable agent to manage the parking. Your colleague stated in her original letter that you have found a company willing to issue permits and manage them for no charge. They will obviously, therefore, be aiming to make a profit by means of their enforcement activities. This is probably something that your tenants have not considered, but should the scheme proceed it will be them and their visitors /friends who will bear the cost.


    We remind you that as the landowner and employer of a parking enforcement company (HA) would remain liable for their actions, and we would seek redress from (HA) should they act outside of their authority.


    In summary, (HA) proposals are a knee jerk reaction to solve a problem that does not exist.

    If they are eventually implemented you would simply force a few vehicles to move and be creating a problem somewhere else.

    You have not demonstrated that you have managed the ample parking provision by establishing what space your tenants have a right to use.

    You should consult in a proper manner and be able to demonstrate such. You should be sure of your facts before you write to people and not put the onus onto others to do the work for you.


    We look forwards to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

    Yours Faithfully

  13. OK here is a verbatim transcript of the first letter received on 10th March....


    Dear Sir or Madam


    RE *** Residents Car Park


    I have recently been receiving many complaints from residents of **** regarding the lack of parking mainly of an evening within the car park.


    In order to try and resolve the issue I am considering implementing parking permits to residents. I have found a company that will issue permits free of charge to residents of **** only and then monitor the car park for people using it and not displaying a valid permit.


    I have previously requested information from my legal team to check whether there is anything within the deeds of the properties situated in (our Terrace) confirming whether you have any parking rights to this car park. They have been unable to locate such information.


    In light of this it would appear that residents of (our terrace) do not have any parking rights situated at ***. However, following on from a discussion with a resident of (our terrace) I believe some of you may have a right to park.


    In order that I may assess this I would be grateful if you are able to provide me with any evidence that confirms you have a right to park within the car park. I would be grateful if you could provide me with any relevant information by no later than 1st April 2017/ Please find the pre-paid envelope for the convenience of your reply.


    If this is the case then I will include you within the proposed permit scheme.


    I look forward to receiving your feedback. Should you have any questions regarding this matter please do not hesitate to contact me on .....



    This was sent to all the houses within the terrace.


    As I have said we responded, hand delivered on 28th March but the next letter, received a few days ag,o is still addressed to the occupier and makes no mention of our reply.


    The second letter was sent be a different person, although still a neighbourhood housing officer.

  14. I think we are on the losing team here.


    The previous owner died in 2006 at the age of 93, leaving the house to be developed and sold to us.

    She lived here all her life.


    I think that it has already been decided that they are going to issue permits and fine peeps who park here without...

    so what happens for visitors, doctors, heath visitors, delivery men !!


    This is pants and Im at the end of my tether...stuff like this stresses me out (Doesn't it Uncle B?)!


    They are not going to listen to us because they want what they want and we get in their way.

    We do not have money for solicitors and the like and don't have legal knowledge or speak in our armoury.


    Why do they give so little time to respond?

    Why have they not acknowledged our letter?


    Sorry, really down now :(

  15. For some bizarre reason I cannot find the original letter at the moment but will be able to get my hands on a copy later today.


    I do remember a panic as the letter arrived mid March with a deadline of 30th March and I hand delivered our response on the Friday 28th ...

    just under the wire.


    That first letter was the first that anybody in the terrace had heard of it.


    Thanks for the link, I shall show it to my husband but I'm afraid I cannot read legalese, I get lost amongst all the whys and wherefores and thereins.


    Will reply with a transcript of the original letter later on (hopefully)

  16. Sorry EB but its gone.


    So stressed at the mo..... not specifically over this but OH has decided to start decorating the living room......

    Everything that was in there is now in the limited everywhere else we have !!!


    Thanks for all your help guys .... I, no doubt, will be back on here sometime soon for more advice and courage!


    Well today (29th April) we have finally received a reply from the HA regarding the parking issue.


    Apparently a new person has been assigned to this and her tone (from a neighbour who has spoken to both of the ladies that have so far been involved) is far less friendly!


    Here is the letter, verbatim and with original errors! (Obviously wasn't too careful with the cut n paste!)....


    28th April 2017


    Dear Sir or Madam,


    Re **** Residents Car Park


    As you are aware we have been recently consulted with all residents of **** and (our terrace) regarding the car park following reports that residents are struggling to park.


    In light of the possible impact to residents once parking permits have been introduced, we have decided to extend the consultation period to Monday 8th May 2017. This is your final opportunity to have your say or provide required information previously requested.


    Please be aware that if I do not receive any evidence from you that you confirming that you have a legal right to park within the car park of **** by the extended above date I will be unable to include within the proposed car parking permit scheme.


    Should you have any questions regarding this matter please do not hesitate to contact me on (HA phone number)


    Yours sincerely


    Apart from the shocking construction of the letter and the scant extension of the consultation period, it seems she has not acknowledged our letter (sent 29th March) regarding our easement to park.


    Naturally we are very upset about this, not least because there are always vacant spaces within the car park, even at 6 am on a Sunday or bank holiday morning when you would expect the car park to be at maximum capacity.


    Please, please can you advise me how to respond to this ???


    Thank you,


  17. Thank you for your letter of 10th March. I find the apparent shortage of parking spaces surprising as there are 42 available spaces and only 16 properties in *** itself and I personally have never seen the car park completely full.


    The residents of ***** have enjoyed access to and parking on the land of the *** car park since before *** was built and (more importantly) continuously since.


    An easement by prescription therefore exists which allows us to continue parking in the *** car park. Could you tell us how you intend to accommodate this within your plans?


    I hope this helps with your enquiries.




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