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stardust_john

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About stardust_john

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  1. As one who's had many a supposed 'good shake' both by men I add, I dont appreciate that term. I have posted this already that I find that offensive and yet citezen carries on. I asked for advice about being nervous about what I knew is happeneing to everybody, trying to deal with it, without appearing a fool to the dwp and I got the good shake mentioned. I as the original poster state again thankyou for advice from those who helped, but since when do mental health departments and neurology prescribe a 'good shake' for treatment, they dont, the reason, its not appropriate even if they were allowed to do it, and what they do is judge us all one by one, I have not a problem with them going into how I can be helped, thats what I asked for. But as much as there are many many many helpful dwp and atos employees I am sure, it only takes one to disadvantage someone. There are them appeals etc and if genuine a person can get this sorted. But I believe it would only take one person bullying or giving a good shake in attitude to push me away from claiming help and giving in. Citezen post elsewhere, I dont want any 'help' from you.
  2. Stardust, going to have a little rest for a while now. At least I know what I am up against and will try to stay composed. xxxxx to those who really helped.
  3. It seems citezen cant detect sarcasm as well. If he feels he helped me. Now ironic for one to judge wether mentally ,ill or not. Does that mean a person stating they are not mentally ill is okay, I bet you would judge them so, dot and tick the form, its down to numbers and unfortunately there are a lot of people with mental illness. Let anyone reading this forum judge wether citezen helped me, apart from typing practice that is.
  4. Started out a positive thread me just asking for advice on interview. I ended up having a suspected and admitted member of atos, giving me their personal views on my like. Thanks for making me feel more lower than low, hey that was a great help, to be proved right. They dont give two hoots and want me to dissapear not claiming benefits for their figures, but probably dead in a bush. Saves money, hey.
  5. Cagbot. I am offended. You remove a remark from me the original poster stating I feel a comment was personal towards me and insuslting and yet you leave the original comment for all to see.
  6. ps. When you match the training of my neurologist and psychologist, I'll give citezens comments a listen. As you know diddly squat just but out. Hey which pair of pyjamas should I wear to the interview? non matching of course xx
  7. Right, citezen, you represented in the past the atos crowd. Youve done me a favour it seems. I havnt even been able to get dressed for over a week since my last seizures, been too low to feel I want to. So where for going out the occassional time I do and I actually get dressed and have a shower, which feels an effort to me, I look more presentable than usual. Been worried that social services would notice the state of me. So instead of making a tiresome effort, I know, you must feel, oh, they cant be bothered to get dressed, need a good shake, as in your words, you have proved to me what all think at the dwp and I shall carry on considering them a threat to not understanding what I go through. As for a good shake, after going through what I did as a child, I would appreciate you pointing that towards my father. You obviously dont understand psychology or neurology and have no incling of genuine need. You feel benefit claimants are figures as you were probably trained to have no compassion what soever. As for the articulate and being able to type, it was droned into me as a child on a typing course. So if youll forgive me when sitting here in my house, will you only show sympathy if someone looks like a slob and drools mental health. you are ignorant , youve done me a favour, youve made me angry and I'll turn up to that interview as me, rather than like most hiding mental illness, trying to be someone else for fear of people noticing. As for insulting me in further comments, I'd rather you go suck an egg and not bother. Your like an accused, confidently insisting nothing happened, shes mad, all in her head, look at me the convincing one, shes lying. His word against mine, trouble is no one wanted to protect a minor and I shouldnt be responsible for the fact I am now ill. Iheld down a job for years untill attacked at work and it put me in a situation I had felt was familiar, it all came back and I couldnt cope with the seizures getting worse. Same attitude there, they'll all help untill you become a little of a hinderence and the word 'mental health' is mentioned. Articulate, I hope so when I can be, that was my job. Maybe I should right a novel if I can learn how and tell the world, what my parents were. At least I am a good parent as best I can and I can be positive about that. You go slither away, good shake, I had enough of them from my partner, didnt help, thanx:p
  8. Thanks eyeballs. Yes I have to fill in new forms and will get it done, just hope they either remake appointment for sept or come to house, at least I am giving them the option. And to make things lighter, I have a problem answering the door to strangers, but we'll work on that:D I promise xx And for citezen, computers and epilepsy dont mix for very long with what I have, sorry. But I choose to still surf on them. At least I am trying, hey:rolleyes:
  9. Thanks Erika, funny thing is I havnt even got that far to be given date for possible medical yet. I am just getting worked up way in advance as usual. Will ask dwp to visit me at home and see what they say. Last time I did that they confimred it with mental health and put it on hold. Just this time I know it needs to happen due to the esa change, so will do my best xx.
  10. and on a more controlled note, thats my point. People who dont understand mental illness, just see us as a scrounger. Probably one of the reasons I prefer to stay safe at home. Like I went to the city last week and two drunks, who were followed by securtity, decided to taget me for the fact I appeared different I presume. They hit me on the head and took the pee out of my hair do. They were escorted away. But all I was doing was picking up my sons glasses, like a normal person and couldnt do that successfully. Last time in the market, I was targetted by a man who thought it funny to jump behind me and scream in my earoles. I just want to be left alone, nowt special, my hair is just up in a pony tail, nowt odd, I am overweight but not hughely, so why target me. To me it feels personal and a huge threat and if no one can understand that, well I am sorry.
  11. Very brave to think having a mental illness is having a break, I wish I could. Ofcouse it would have helped had the police protected a young child years ago rather than leave her with her perverted father. So sorry he screwed my brain up as well. Bit hard to get over the fact he was a serving police officer on the child protection squad and of course 'wouldnt do that' He also wouldnt have tried to suffocate me which I suspect caused my epilepsy as well, I was only a kid. I HATE MYSELF, and just to think I was chearing up, g*t. Easy life hey. I understand some people can get over things better than me, I just have a seizure and then end up going through the whole thing again. Maybe youd like to swap places citezen, I would.
  12. I'll tell you who have been a great help, Young carers. The kiddies these last two years have been took on holiday, go to day groups and they organise fun for them in the summer holidays. Before this they never went out, because I didnt, their day out was to the supermarket. So as much as I am a misery at the moment, they are great. Myson has been offered a place to egypt this month august and is so looking forward to it. They are going to talk to me nearer the time to organise someone to visit and try to help me go out I suspect. But I know they are helping, just it doesnt overlap with appointment. As to going out shows me as I am, your right. I cant leave my hands alone and have severe eczma on them as I wash and rub them so often. You cant miss it its disgusting. Anyhow just typing for a while alone, has lightened my mood, thanks. I'll stop being so miserable:D
  13. I get dla for care and mobility. Welfare rights a while ago said I should have been on someting else and helped me fill the form in, it was lost and they helped me do it again as dwp lost it. I never heared anything and then started to get payments from csa which confused me as I didnt have them before. Told by dwp the money is mine and 'to go and enjoy', must have come accross odd to them as rang three times with same question, because thought it odd all of a sudden this money is mine. Told it is. Anyhow never heared about form to dwp and gave up as getting lextra money thought it must be linked. Anyhow I cook ok and when ill son takes over, better cook than me, I lately need to use online deliveries more he pops to icelands and gets it delivered. My kids and well grounded and understand, I dont hang on them. My son was dealing with my epilepsy before he could speak and we are still together. Just because the dwp confuse me, I get anxious. I recoreded the last call to them, just to confirm the money was mine, because I was getting this I didnt chase up the other as I have enough to get by on. Could be I am getting the right ammount and they just needed the form I think. I dont know if its part of my illness but I cant deal with things that change all of a sudden. Its hard to compute. My son describes me as human brain freeze, like when you drink a cold drink too fast:)
  14. I will phone them next week and try to ring mind for local help. Dont get me wrong by the way, I am a good parent, just feel I need to hide from the world at the moment. Will go to doctors next week, he is lovely and listens.
  15. Thanks. A while ago the doctors wanted me to go into a counselling group where I presume similar people with similar problems, it became obvious I couldnt cope with this and needed one to one help for longer. Last time at the hospital they said I had brightened up and seemed even bubly and the medication must therefore be working. I was happy to have made it to my appointment and although he was nice, it felt false. The next day I am very depressed. I just dont understand how I can be bubbly on minute and lower than low the next. I know my epilepsy can kick it off. At the moment I am not managing the house even very well and have to hide that for fear of social services comming in. My kids are fine and I cook, just not the house proud full of energy person I dreamt I would be one day. The decoration has gone downhill and I need to sort it, we dont have any carpets after 9 years, but you can do without carpets. Thanks for the advice. I shouldnt be ashamed of just telling them how it is. My appoinment is mid august and I hope they can put it off to first week of september as my son will be home. He is away with Young carers on holiday abroad on date of interview.
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