Thankyou so much for your advice I will keep let you know how it goes I must keep strong. Sally

I work in large nursing home owned by a private company ,I have been there for over 2 years .My problems began in November of last year. I had been chosen to work on a special project alongside my manager which amounted to us producing a huge portfolio of evidence as well as being inspected which if we passed would mean we would also have a hospice status,I am passionate about people reaching the end of their lives in a painfree and dignified way so I worked very hard what I did not know was that the home had failed the year before and it was senior nurses who had failed,therefore there was clearly an unwillingness to help me gather information for a number of reasons chiefly though because I was only a health care assistant and there was also jealousy because i was promoted to senior and given the title dignity champion. I know my manager has a fiery temper but I was shocked when I took a call put through to me on the floor from the inspector to arrange the inspection visit She absolutely screamed at me told me infrront of a number of co workers that she was the boss how dare I speak to them etc. The secretary told her that they had not rung me they had asked for her but as she was out of the office she put it through to me as I knew the details. The explanation did not help and she remained angry refusing to meet the inspector and being offhand. Needless to say the inspector picked up the vibes and we failed. Having worked on the nursing floor happily for a long time without any explanation I was transferred to the nursing dementia floor. since then my life at work has been a living nightmare. The first incident was when I returned from an outing with a resident I was called in the office to be told that one of my coworkers did not think it fair that I was senior he should get more because he was a man,she called her deputy in and then continued repeating gossip I could not say anything. A few days later I was working with a colleague and we were putting residents to bed after supper we went to one resident to change them and saw on the table half a yogurt and drink her daughter was there and we settled her down for the night we did not know she had not had supper until a few moments later when the other carer told us,by then the residents daughter was going mad.I was then handed the phone and the manager was absolutely abusing me down the phone I tried to explain but she wouldn't listen she just kept on and on. Next day I was called to the office and she and the deputy manager were there again she started shouting and the deputy was shouting they accused me of so much including depriving an old lady of her supper,they would not let me speak and would not talk to my work partner who was with me the whole time and could have explained. I felt so awful I just put my hands over my head while they told blatant lies . A week later I was called in for a meeting and none of this was mentioned the blame was put on the deputy who had since walked out they even offered to pay me for a couple of the days off. There are many more incidences but to explain why i need help I must tell the last one. I returned to work after having 3 rest days on a Tuesday I was working with a girl and we work well together we went to a resident and notice her feet were a bit swollen not unusual in people with osteo arthritis we used the correct sling hoist to take her out of bed and to put her back in the evening in line with common practice on the floor we used a standing hoist to assist her with personal needs at lunchtime at no time were either of us on our own and nothing untoward happened however when we put her to bed we noticed her foot was very swollen and dark we informed the nurse immediately she looked and said that it was probably because she had her foot down just raise her leg up. Next morning we again went to her and the foot was much worse we called the nurse again and the GP came she sent her for a xray and it was fractured there was a social services investigation.We both repeatedly told the story over and over again and a number of times she was asked to say I was lying and that I used the standing hoist and knocked it she kept saying no behind my back it was blamed on me and even when another colleague on the floor told them I always use the sling hoist they said he was only saying it because we are friends.I have begun to get migraines recently and I phoned sick the next day causing even more grief for myself. On return to work I was summoned to the office again again I was endured another 40 mins of being made out to be a liar at one point she said that my partner said I used the standing hoist I knew she had no said it but when I said I will get her I was told thats not allowed and if I talk to her I would be disciplined for gossiping. Sunday I came to work and I am well aware that its the topic of conversation I had already been treated to a lecture about the standing hoist and then the final straw was walking up behind the nurse who was telling my co workers to keep there eye on me and I am a liability even one of the two a young girl started saying that what happened was my responsibility and they dont want me to cause more trouble. I finished the day and after another awful sleepless night I went my GP she diagnosed depression bought on by workplace stress and gave me medication and a a cert for 7 days. I rang work and said I was signed off but I did not want the reason all over the building I emailed the cert via internet cafe and have a receipt I stressed to the secretary it was confidential,I was rung today by the acting deputy saying they never got the cert will i resend to her email Ii dont want to do this because it wont stay private she already rang other staff at home to try and get information she also repeatedly asked on on the phone today when I would be back I told her I dont know til I see the GP. Please can anyone help me my life is not worth living at the moment I dont understand why this is happening Ive never wished any harm to anyone and these incidents are only representative there is much more I dont know what changed since November previous to that I had been nominated for healthcare assistant of the year by the same manager and I have a card from the company owner thanking me for the work I did on palliative care. I am being treated as though some sort of serial abuser and many colleagues have turned their backs on me and my friends are scared to support me. I apologize for the length of this post but nearly everyday since November something has been said to me. I do not have anything in writing. Any advice would be gratefully received. Sally

thanks for your good wishes. He did not have access to the card or PIN by permission it was a lucky guess on the number. As for the bullying his older brother who is head boy at the school has dealt with that. There was very genuine distress on the part of my son for what he had done he did it in desperation and the fact he still had the money showed he knew it was not the way to deal with things. What concerns me was that the bank told me that there can be no possible fraud on CHIP and PIN ,then back tracked and repaid the money so clearly there can otherwise I would not have got the money back when I had the card all the time .

Thankfully today natwest refunded the money they said having looked at cctv footage of the cashpoint and adjacent camera they realise it could not have been me or anyone connected with me . So every cloud has a silver lining ,thanks for yur advice

last friday I went to my bank to find that two large amounts of money were missing from my account . I went into natwest and explained they put me through to their fraud people who said that the first amount of £200 was withdrawn from an HSBC atm 14 seconds after I legitimately withdrew £30 the second was taken from the same atm on friday morning at the same time . Here is my difficulty I found that my stupid 13 yr old son had withdrawn the friday money and when I got home still had the money and was terrified having not really thought through what he was doing(issues with bullying at school and a gang telling him to get the money for them to buy an Iphone or else) Because we have admitted to this Nat west will not investigate the first amount of money missing assuming I suppose that it is him again ,however it could not have been he was at school at the time and I just finished night duty at the nursing home I work at. Do you think there is anything I can do or should I just accept its gone? I have a new card and PIN . I would be greatful for any help £200 is a lot of money to us. Many thanks

thankyou for your reply . I am really not sure what to do I dont know if my step sisters can be compelled to disclose what they have done with her property and if it has been sold what safeguards there are legally to make sure mum gets the proceeds,I wonder if anyone could perhaps come up with a sort of template letter I could send them that was unemotional and yet might make them think I had had legal advice.I forgot to say I have written letters of their intention to do so and telling me to ask for what I want when I asked for dads wedding ring and st christopher for my boys they refused saying it was mums. thanks sally xx

Thankyou so much for your reply I feel less alone than I did last night. To reply It was actually us myself and partner plus 3 kids that effectively were banned from the funeral as we did not know where it was ,My daughter eventually phoned all undertakers in the area and located him alas to late ,however we did get his ashes which in a way was more important but when we picked up his ashes they were only in a paper bag with his name and weight on them ,my daughter who is less relaxed than me went ballistic but we had to shut up when a very embarrassed chap said that this was the lowest paid funeral and all we get ..my lovely dad in a bag,ofcourse we paid for him to have a bit more dignity. Ive tried for legal aid but don't qualify and I will look at the websites you have highlighted. I can only imagine financial gain is their motive. I have the proof of our closeness to them,endless photos ,anecdotes the boys were so close to their grandad,I know the hospital were shocked when I explained that I was NOK not them as they had described themselves as such and also the hospice were mortified but what could I do people tend to believe educated liars . Mum should have that money can you believe that they even took her wedding ring ? My 13 yr old son noticed it on our first visit ,homes often think its a better idea not to have to much jewellry on residents but would never say no to a wedding ring. I have some inside knowledge as a night nurse myself in a nursing home. many thanks again xx

I wonder if anyone can give me some advice please. My dad died last may between us we had been looking after my mum who has dementia. I have two much older step sisters who I have never had much to do with but suddenly became intimately involved with my dad in the end stages of his life they had never acknowledged him in anyway and although he brought them up as toddlers they ignored him and truthfully mostly my mum once a year visit for a birthday or mothers day whereas mum and dad were very involved in my famillies life. I gritted my teeth through the last few weeks dad was alive because basically it gave him comfort and I thought i was being a jealous cow. this myth was dispelled when I found out that they had made off with his meagre belongings within an hour of his death at the hospice having told them they were next of kin and leaving me the death certificate to collect. There then ensued unpleasantness where they told me to stay away from mum and kindly changed the locks. I then received a solicitors letter addressing me as a daughter in law ,with intent for them to seek power of attorney. I corrected a somewhat bemused solicitor who asked me if i would like to act against them but i cant afford it so declined. Then I received a document from the court of protection informing me of their intention to get POA and asking if I objected as an interested party,I was the grandaughter this time. Mum Is not poor but mostly because she saved. I objected on the grounds that if 2 needed POA then why not all 3 of us and also at that time she was still at home so I had no objection to them having access to her everyday funds but that her investments etc should be managed by an independant advocate. No reply from them yet. Early jan received another letter they have put mum in a home. After extracting teeth I found out where she is. We went to see her OMG if you could have seen her ,anyway in her room there is nothing of her own home no photos no nik naks nothing. we bought bedding took photos made the room homely as possible. Mums flat was council we went to have a peep someone else is living there. What have they done with all her belongings,jewellry furniture ? please help me I am not very good at confrontation and my step sisters are both high fliers in banking luxury lifestyles,we cannot afford solicitors but I want to know what is going on and protect mum. How can I unravel whats going on. if you need more info I can provide it Thanx for taking the time to wade through my post.

I have the cca it is dated 1983 and was one of those things you found in magazines where you fill it in an stick it together and post..i am sorry I cannot scan it as I dont have that facility,if you tell me what to look for I will tell you what it says. Basically I filled out my name address age marital status and employment details sent it off and got the card. However since paying the Fand F settlement I have not heard another word from barclaycard which I have found strange and worrying. Mr Marmite their is no small print on the photocopy I simply filled out the questions, name age address date of birth ,employer income and signed it dated it and sent it off it was literally that simple ,there is nothing other than a fold line you lick it and on the other side was the address and a postage paid stamp. Plus a separate a 4 small print contract which has no date and was nothing to do with the original form I signed. thanks

hi again I wondered if anyone had had time to look through my post and give me any advice ..pleeeeease Im a bit worried. I have not had any communication from barclaycard for ages apart from the cca and am not really sure what I should do next. many thanks

ok thanks for that will divide bill by 10 and start paying. many thanks.

I recently have returned to work full time after having been out of work,I have had no problem with the income support people I told them they stopped my money and gave me £250 back to work money ,I have also taken over paying my rent. My problem is the council tax people I have explained 4 times to them by letter (they won't talk on phone)that I want to pay my council tax bill by installments as I am frightened of getting into arrears but they have only sent an overpayment bill for £50 for the 21st -1st april for benefit overpayment,I have paid this . I wonder if I should just write and tell them of my intention to pay the bill in 12 installments and use the payment slips they sent me for the overpayment,or do I stash the money and wait for the demand ,this option is the one I least like as I like to know my bills are paid and I have no hidden surprises. any advice would be gratefully received. thanks

Hi it seems such a long time since I last posted but I have gone back to work full time as a nurse now and time flies. Today I received the photocopy of the original barclaycard agreement signed in 1983 it is one of those leaflets you used to get in magazines fill in lick the sides and send off...the thing is so old my income then as a newly qualified nurse was £3500..wow.... It has come with a letter saying this is a application credit card agreement regulated by the consumer credit act 1974,it also says that I owe them £2122.04. Having paid the full and final settlement previously I have had no further contact from barclaycard at all despite having emailed to ask what is going on. What do you think I should do now ?? I would be grateful for any advice.

it is housing assoiation but I am going to write to our MP as soon as possible. thankyou.

ok thankyou