Cos your special!! SFx

all people are equal but some are more equal than others - I hate a chat with my friend who fosters regarding this thread, and she said she agreed it was costly but she did not do it for the money, she refused any bursery on the children she adopted and her biggest fear was those that viewed fostering as a proffesion not "the chance to change a child's life" Phatram - this is a general discussion area and you cannot stipulate who does or does not post on your thread. Nobody has been offensive or abusivew so it cannot be moderated. We can all have opinions that are valid even if you disagree. The saddest thing I find about this thread is that you have not stated what fostering has given to you, what joy you have got out of it. SFx

Explain exactly that - you are stressed and that is effecting your every day funcitoning - goo dluck SFx

Well in a way we all do pay - through our taxes, so yes we are contributing to the up keep of theses children. Is it right that my daughter will have to pay for her prescriptions when she leaves full time education for the over 45 tablets and two iv antibiotics that she takes daily - NO - but are we grateful that we live in a country that subsidises these medicines YES. I do look after her 24/7 I dont do the career that I worked hard to attain as I need so much time off but she is my daughter and I have NO choice, and I woulds not have it any other way. SFx

The lack financial remuneration, that you site, is not the reason that I would not be a foster carer that is for sure. There are many reasons that I would not consider it, having a child with Cystic Fibrosis is top of the list. SFx

I am truly truly shocked by that reply to the point I am not sure that I can coherently reply. They ARE children, they HAVE had a tough time, we all have a responsability to the children that we come into contact with however short or long. Surely a normal family life is what they need and what you can provide, families are about the good and the bad, the rough and the smooth, I feel very uncomfortable that you wish to have a "family" holiday without the foster kids - what does that say to them? I am sure that you are very caring and a great foster parent, and that those you helped have trust back, but I am just not understanding some of your reasonings. SFx

Your original post staes that you are campainging for more monies due to the increase in the cost of living - everyone is having to cut back on luxuries or find alternatives at the moemnt why should it be so different for foster carers. I would dearly love to take my girls to Disneyland florida but sadly it will be camping in Norfolk again for us and I can also take two of their friends with us SFx

You still have not explained how a foster child is more expensive than one of your own - and why having a foster child changes the economics of a family and the rules that apply when monies are tight. SFx

Phatram - having been adopted twice Ithink that I am actaully in quite a good position to discuss adoption/fostering etc. She looked after her children with her allowance from Social Services and from her husbands job - I have never enquired on how much she recieved, she was most definatley not paid to adopt them and I find that increadibly insulting that you even suggested that I have known many of the children that she has fostered on top of those that she has adopted. No I would never wish to be a foster carer, not for any other reason that I would not be capable of doing such a hard job. We all have issues with our jobs that we feel is unjust unfair etc, but if it gives you happiness then surely that equals it out. I cannot for the life of me see how the upkeep of a foster child can significantly more than that of a natural child. SFx

No but I am a mother of two - who receives very little maintanance from my ex-husband and works extremely hard to support my girls. I have though had experiance of the system when I was younger some eons ago! I am also very good friends with a foster carer, who has ended up adopting 10 of the children she fostered. I dont want to start a battle but was genuinly interested in wht you are saying SFx

I am not trying to be imflamatory but I dont really understand your point - £367 for all three or just the 17 and 15 year old? £110 goes to you and the rest goes for the children. I think that £250 per week for a 17 and 15 year old is a fairly decent amount of money for two teenagers, and adequate for their needs. This is more of a decision of teaching money ethics to your charges, and doing exactly what every family is doing at the moment and tightening their belts in the present economic. The same with your daughter at Uni, she is an adult and can contribute to her economic situation. It is a team effort. Very few peoples wages have gone up in the present climate - I understand what you do is invaluable and wonderful work, but it is the career that you choose to do. Please do not think that I am disrespecting you in any way as I am not but we all have to deal with these issues. SFx

lol - thank you for making me smile when I am so annoyed and frustrated!!! SFx

SL Thank you for your reply - Luckily he has reported a lot of the issues to his bosses boss (the deputy MD!) so it is known about his behaviour. His colleque also has issues as do many others within the company - so it is not that he is isolated in his opinion. I am going to compile an email in response to this. At the end of the day, OH's company know him for all his pluses and faults, whereas his boss has only been there for 14 months - I am very well aware that no one is indispensable but HR would be on a very sticky wicket if he wanted to persue this further as he has threatened in his email. Personally I do not understand this chaps methodogy, never in my working life have I ever treated anyone in the way this bloke does - even as a producer for the BBC live events department which can be very stressful!!! Thanks for your support SFx

JC - how did you know he was irish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yup it is another case of bullying - I am covered on the insurance - SFx

Lula - they do not offer company mileage as they al drive the same make of car for company image. SFx

Thanks for your reply He does need the car - he did 1600 miles last week in two days!! - I just think it is another case of his boss bullying him - OH has worked for the same company for 17 years (he is 33 - does not like change!!!) It seems that his boss is resentful that he lives 2 miles down the road and thefore can do 9-5.30 with no stress before or after!!! I also cant see why it would be an HR issue or that it could even be taken as a serious matter that his colleques car was not their for more than 15 mins. At the end of the day - it would have taken me all of 3 mins to get the car to his work if there had been a dire emergency - which he wold not be able to attend to simply as he was leaving at lunch. SFx

OH's stupid micro managing boss - decided to have a "word" with OH yesterday regarding his company car. On his birthday (he had a half day) and my car was in for its MOT - I dropped him off at work and went home (2miles down the road). As is the tradition he had bought cream cakes for the office, he had underestimated the numbers and asked to borrow his colleques to go down the road to get some more. His boss has stated that this could be viewed as Gross Misconduct as his car should be in the car park at all times. In my humble opinion this is yet another one of his bullying tactics - as on that day there would have been no chance for him to go on a site visit as he was finishing at lunch time, if his car goes in for a service he takes my car etc. This is the first time that I have had the car and it was because it was the school holidays and I needed to get around. Also it could be viewed that it was not justifiable for him to have a company car due to his business mileage, everyone in his department lives about 75 miles away from the office - and their return trip is recorded as business mileage and as we live 2 miles away it is hardly worth doing. The car is also part of his pay structure and is in fact remuneration. To be honest he is such a berk this just winds me up.

After having received some wonderful help on here, I feel after a year of learning and then advising that I bow out. The support that I have recieved has been incomprable and I how that I have been able to return it in some small way. I have started up my own business - making pretty things - a far cry from the world of journalism and bailiff chasing. The best of luck to everyone who is here will be here and has been here. Remeber - Nil Desperandum. SFx

DHF - have pm'ed you with my nmber - good call regarding the police - tell them in no uncertain terms this is no longer a civil matter - and that you have already provided evidence the car is not your possesion explain that you are not at home and there is a young child. SFx

Is the car on HP? SFx

PM - Sadly many Bailiffs now are not old "skool" and abuse their powers - WPO's used to be a very useful tool in getting regular payments however now they are used more as a hammer to crack a nut. My advice would be Not to let them in ever, however polite they are and therefore avoid any not so plesant tactics. SFx

Done LTWFB!! SFx

Just wanted to say thank you so much for sucha brilliantly informative thread, it really will help so many people. I would also like to thank all the posters for respecting OTB and for valuing his fantastic information. SFx

That does not get rid of the debt - I cant quite remember the bit of law or the technicalities. What is this debt for? SFx

Then pop over to the forum just above this one as they are debt collectors and do not have any rights in the way that bailiffs do - you will get a ton of advice over there. SFx