Yes

No solicitor would ever advise running this to any court

Call his bluff

Do it..£50k rides on it

Thats your kids future sorted end off

They are 14 and 15. One has said 50/50 time and the other is going because of me and that I asked her too.

 

I am going to court tomorrow to apply for a non molestation order to stop my ex and his gf coming near me and to stop the abuse and aggressiveness

 

Is my Partner correct in saying that I am entitled to claim housing costs for the girls? he said that I am entitled to a refund of loss of money expended on the girls over and above the money that my ex has contributed. I didn't think that was the case? I

 

My understanding is that my ex is legally obliged to pay towards their costs, but not 50%. Child maintenance say that it is approx. 16% of income before tax and pension contributions - which is some way short of 50%. The rest of their expenditure has been covered by me.

 

I'm feeling like my head is in a vice really

- as my ex is being difficult and my partner is pushing me to make claims for money etc that he says I am entitled to.

 

My partner is also saying that my ex would be entitled to equity from the house if he was paying towards the mortgage in order to house his children..

.. am I wrong in thinking that it completely wrong?

Is this the partner who had you remortgage house and took the extra money away??

Sounds like he’s after more money to me

No it’s not

Is this the partner who had you remortgage house and took the extra money away??

 

Sounds like he’s after more money to me

It’s my ex husband

Maybe I read it wrong but you talk about both ex husband and new partner in the post.

I’ve read your other thread about your partner being controlling with money and forcing you into remortgaging house then he took the excess funds.

So to me I took it as your new partner is trying to get you to get more money from the ex husband to do with your children

My new partner is saying that my ex needs to step into ghe plate with regards to supporting the children properly and taking his fair share of the load. He’s not cling that st the moment.

My partner thinks I can claim housing costs from my ex husband for the children. I worry that that isn’t the case

Ask yourself why his saying that. After the stunts he’s already pulled with you to do with the house and the money he’s taken..

It’s sounds like he’s trying to get more cash coming in for him to help himself too.

That’s just my opinion going on what I’ve read on your other threads.

Your partner is milking you and will continue to do so. He’s already done you over with the house and the cash.

You maybe entitled to more from your ex who knows?? But why is your new partner so interested they are not his kids.

In answer to your question I don’t know.

His own ex wife refused to have anything to do with him or her children when they split up. He’s very ms manipulate at times.

He think my ex should have the children half the time. He knows I will be out of pocket as will

Lose part of my cm. my ex does treat me like a baby sitter

Is it practical for the children to split their time 50/50 with schools etc? I'm not sure I understand the bit about CM, sorry.

I've had dealings with a few manipulative people in my time and something that cruzhughes said made me think. Your new partner does seem very interested in money, or spending it at least and I had a Machiavellian thought. I don't see why your ex should have a claim on the house if he's signed an agreement to give it up, but I do hope your partner isn't thinking that you could sign the house over to him in order to avoid claims from your ex.

If I'm being paranoid, I'm sure people will be quick to tell me.

HB

She’s already signed half house overto new partner and remortgaged for extra funds which hes taken. See other threads

She’s already signed half house overto new partner and remortgaged for extra funds which hes taken. See other threads

Indeed, I was concerned about the lady's remaining 50 per cent share.

HB

Something doesn’t ring true to me.

More alarm bells are ringing to motives of new partner.

He seems a wrong un and he’s already put you under a massive financial burden. When you were managing the mortgage and bills on your own before he came along.

Now you have double the debt and outgoings per month and have handed him half your house and cash on a plate. And he’s not contributing or did he to warrant what he’s now got in the short time you’ve been together.

Whereas you have lost out big time

Get any money / asset for the children put into a trust that the new partner has no claim on nor power over. Then see how interested the new partner remains in it.

I will reply tomorrow. But I can see the points made!

Is it practical for the children to split their time 50/50 with schools etc? I'm not sure I understand the bit about CM, sorry.

 

I've had dealings with a few manipulative people in my time and something that cruzhughes said made me think. Your new partner does seem very interested in money, or spending it at least and I had a Machiavellian thought. I don't see why your ex should have a claim on the house if he's signed an agreement to give it up, but I do hope your partner isn't thinking that you could sign the house over to him in order to avoid claims from your ex.

 

If I'm being paranoid, I'm sure people will be quick to tell me.

 

 

HB

I am not sure that 50/50 care is right for my children, but if I go to mediation with that as a starting point, I might be on a highway to getting somewhere near what I want, which is three weekends to him and one with me. Its so difficult arranging shared care, because I want my children myself, the thing is that I know I don't have the mental energy for two teenagers, and coping on my own is difficult. My ex husband has a duty to his children. I'm not his child minder. selfishly, I am entitled to a life, and if I am happy my children will benefit from that. at the moment, I feel very stressed as I rarely have any time to breathe

Something doesn’t ring true to me.

 

More alarm bells are ringing to motives of new partner.

 

He seems a wrong un and he’s already put you under a massive financial burden. When you were managing the mortgage and bills on your own before he came along.

 

Now you have double the debt and outgoings per month and have handed him half your house and cash on a plate. And he’s not contributing or did he to warrant what he’s now got in the short time you’ve been together.

 

Whereas you have lost out big time

I have lost out big time - I know this. I'm trying to make the best of a situation that I have created myself. its quite depressing at times!

Get any money / asset for the children put into a trust that the new partner has no claim on nor power over. Then see how interested the new partner remains in it.

I don't know how to get a lump sum from my ex. He will say that he is entitled to the money from the house as it equates to his share of the equity. he agreed to sign me the house in return for the £25k.

This money will be paid to him in the next couple of months. How can I justify to him that I am entited to any of that for his children?

Any further conversation woud be appreciated - opinion counts for a lot

on what grounds would I have that would stand up in court, would I have any claim over any of the money that I am about to pay my ex husband for is share of the equity from the ex marital home?

I'm concerned that the mnute I land any claim over that money he will flip his lid and I will end up with more issues than I already have

Which is why I think that you desperately need to talk to a solicitor, most will give you an initial consultation for free and will tell you if they believe that you have a case.

If you do, whatever your solicitor costs you will be worth every penny.

I have my first mediation meeting tomorrow - the person I am seeing is also a solicitor so I will discuss it with her - mediation should help me sort out the finances as well. I'm fed up of having to pay the lionshare of everything. Just because I am divorced from my childrens father doesn't mean that he can pay the minimum. if we were living together he would behave in a normal way and wouldn't question the money spent on his children. why does divorce caused people to question money spent on their children? I know this doesn't happen in all cases, but probably happens too often. I just feel that my ex husband is trying to squirm out of so much - am I not entitled to my life too?

Are you seeing a solicitor who can advise you?

Or a mediator (who may also be a solicitor) but if acting as a mediator CANNOT advise you while remaining a neutral mediator.

A mediator can suggest options to explore that one or. Oth of the parties hadn’t considered, though. Just don’t expect advice, since that compromises their neutrality.

went to my MIAM and it was very good meeting.

The downside s that my ex initially refused to attend, but has since changed his mind!

So lets see what happens.

I don't hold my breath TBH, and certainly feel that I should just keep my children with me. if it is such a battle - why am I bothering? its men like my ex husband that give absent fathers a bad name.

UPDATE

In recent weeks there have been some difficult situations.

Firstly with my ex husband being so very unreliable with regards to the timetable of when he will have his children. There is now NO communication between us - so all comms is being diverted through the children. This is not what I want and never what I wanted. He is dropping them back with no notice - so I am just taking them back. My patience is being tested and I am not coping well at all. I am so stressed I cannot cope with things anymore. I feel like this is killing me.

I had a recent situation recently where my ex was in the car behind me waving his arms etc.

I got out of my car, and to cut a long story short he drove his car at me.

I reported it to the police (turns out he did too) he was raging with fury and was looking for a fight.

He blames my partner for forcing him to have his children.

anyway long story short - my ex was interviewed by the police and the outcome is that he has to attend a domestic violence course. He has to learn to control his temper.

This morning I check my bank account and he has reduced the amount of child maintenance he pays to me.

no notice, no warning - just cut it by £100 a month.

He has previously complained that he pays too much (2 teenage daughters)

He earns approx. £30k and is now paying me £37.50 per child per week.

he has them approx. 2 nights per week on average

- although I am sure that if I worked it out it was much less than that.

my issue is that I don't know where this well end.

I am about to pay him £25k for his share of the matrimonial home (we agreed this months and months ago) when we split up there was approx. £34k equity. and although he is possibly not entitled to 50% of that (£17k), because I had the children with me and the advice I have been given is that in these situations there is a move away from equal equity.

I remortgaged the house with my now partner and my ex husband signed the transfer papers with the agreement that I honour my proposal of the £25k. (I will be in funds at the end of this month to discharge my liability to my ex0husband) and am looking forward to doing just that!

my concern is that this might go skyward and he might try to claim that he is entitled to more than £25k, although we owned the house as joint tenants he did not honour his agreement with the bank and pay his share of the mortgage. I ended up paying the mortgage on full for over 2.5 years and the maintenance costs.

my current partner is not aware of the agreement that I have with my ex-husband, and I am concerned that my ex-husband (who is being fuelled by his current gf) will keep coming after me come what may, and wont stop until he breaks me.

I feel like I am being squeezed, because he doesn't want to have his children and is forcing my hand by hitting me financially. At the end of the day when he cuts the money for his children, it affects their quality of life, not to mention their wellbeing. I just am at my wits end, and don't know what to do.

ANY HELP OR ADVICE WOULD BE GRATEFUL (edited)

can someone help me.... please